Who's Who in a Normal Blackjack Book?

As some of you may know, my humorous blackjack book is now for sale. I want to thank the Wizard of Odds for his advice and tutelage over the years. Of course, I mention him in the book. I suppose it is a requisite unwritten rule that all blackjack books also mention folks like Edward O. Thorp, Stanford Wong, Arnold Snyder and Ken Uston. Of course, I mention those pioneers of the game. From the very first page, however, you'll see that my book is different. The following cast of characters all make an appearance in the pages of 1536 Free Waters and Other Blackjack Endeavors--Finding Profit and Humor in Card-Counting:

[In order of appearance...seriously]

Newman (my dog, not the Seinfeld character), George Carlin, Mark and Brian, Chris Bloomer, Rush Limbaugh, Aunt Wilma, Pat (character from Saturday Night Live), Derek Jeter, Pete Rose, Abbott and Costello, Timothy McVeigh, JD Fennell, Bruce LaBrie, Barry Clark, Justin Springer, Rick Ogle, Samantha Lovelace, Todd Crites, Jesus Christ, Jesus Crites, Kerri Ives, Brian Wiggy, Ted (some kid, not the bear from the 2012 movie), Cindy Crawford, Avery Cardoza, Edward Thorp, Joe the Camel, Roger Waters, Pink Floyd, Raymond “Rain Man” Babbitt, Garfield the Cat, God, Superman, Austin Powers, Oprah, Bonnie and Clyde, Michael Shackleford, Thomas Walter Wielgoleski, Uncle Stanley, Arnold Palmer, Pop Warner, Kara Gardner, Ernest Borgnine, Yoko Ono, William Shatner, Mike Evans, Rick Simon, Brian Barnett, Cousin Johnny, Aunt Jenny, Kim Authement, Hayden Grace Dempsey, Harper Madeline Demspsey, Bevo Russell, Andy Nagurny, Dan Gutilla, Paul “Ho-Ho” Smith, Jim Dixon, John Cassup, Warren Bachelor, Joe McGowan, Clyde Reese, Rex Lierman, Colonel Dailey, Russ Moody, David Dover, Ralph and Bill and Carl and Lou, Bill Wooten, Doc Randall, Don Davidson (fictitious), Robert something-or-other, Brad the Cajun, the Reagan administration, Casey Sere, Buddha, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, Roosevelt, Cadet Secondclass Reese Williams, Stanford Wong, Lady Luck, Barkley (my dog, not Charles), Dave Matthews Band, U2, The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones, Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld, Tanya Cobb, Taylor Cobb, Haley Cobb, Portland Sea Dogs, Edward (a major in the Air Force), Shaq, Yong (a Korean immigrant waitress employed at the Pueblo of Sandia Casino in Albuquerque), Ocean Eleven experts, MIT students, Adolph Coors, Wile E. Coyote, Native-American tribal elders, Kevin Whipple, third-world national steward, a disgruntled guy from somewhere below the Mason-Dixon Line, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Elsa (a dealer), old-man elephant-face who worked at 7-11, “Carl” (name of a person on a sign), Ward Cleaver, Cliff Huxtable, Ned Flanders, Lewis (a dealer who was notorious for offering extremely deep penetration on a double-deck shoe), Brenda Bailey, Satan, waitresses at Caesar's who wore sexy toga outfits, Lucky (another one of my dogs), David Vallejo, visiting Seattle Seahawk player, Merv Griffin, Donald and Ivana Trump, Ben Franklin, Samuel (but he went by “Sam”), Abraham Lincoln, Jerry Garcia, The Grateful Dead, NASCAR guy, Mr. Lewis (who was really me), Jake (man missing two fingers), Hawkeye and Trapper, but not Winchester or Honeycutt, the first girl in class who grew boobs, the Taiwanese husband and wife, a knife-yielding member of the Yakuza mafia, a school bus full of children returning from a tour of the pottery factory, baby Jessica, Gene and Linda (neighbors of mine in New Mexico), Saint Joseph of the Sacred Heart, Texas Longhorns, Jacob and Matthew (Gene and Linda's twin boys), Larry David, Dudley Do-Right, Conan O'Brien, Conan the Barbarian, an African-American family of five, Cap'n Crunch, Catholic priests and cardinals, Hurricane Katrina, Rod and Todd Flanders, a racist son-of-a-bitch, Monroney Thunderbirds, Tiffany Herbert, Lisa (girl with a skunky blond streak of dyed hair that ran down the middle of her otherwise brunette head), Ridgecrest Elementary Roadrunners, Smoky the Bear, Elizabeth Knight, the Marlboro Man, Mr. and Mrs. Smoky Smokerson, a tiny woman named Cici, Grandma Gloria, Nacho (Wiggy, not Libre), Lee (woman who resembled Estelle Getty), Luis from Las Vegas, Mrs. Robinson, Oakland Raiders and Pittsburgh Steelers, North Carolina Tarheels, Englebert Humperdink, Mr. and Mrs. Humperdink, Bobby Boucher, Adam Sander (sic), Michael Phelps, a puppy probably not named “Squatter,” Grandma Wielgoleski, an MGM Grand security guard, subjects from my blackjack superstition experiment (Anisha'keekwa, Bobby Bob Bobby, Cheng Cheng, and DeJesus), Egghead, Monica (the 800-lady), the Pennsylvania Dutch, Doctor Phil, the Denver Broncos and the Indianapolis Colts, John Elway, JOE DIMAGGIO, The First Lady of the American Casino Theater, The Three Stooges, Chris Dempsey, Moe, Gerald Ford, the Japanese man who ripped the cards, TALMADGE, Cousin Mary, Shelly (from Rolla, Missouri), the Red-Chip Prostitute, the guy the Red-Chip Prostitute was soliciting, Larry the Cable Guy, Jay (or it might’ve been “J,” like the Doctor), Frank (pit boss who served doughnuts), the creepy couple in the hot tub, Sam Powell, Dan Tolly, Twinkie (a person, not the food), Jeff Cliatt, Josh (name was “Joshua Owens” on the paycheck), the Boardwalk Cats, Chesty (last name unknown, and not her real first name), Glen [last name TBD], Tiger Woods, Ben Affleck, Paris Hilton, Larry King, Marg Helgenberger, Daniel Stern, Allen Iverson, Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling, Anna Karenina, Tolstoy, Yossarian, Citizen Kane, Da Vinci, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, the Commanding General of Multi-National Corps Iraq, the cocktail waitress from the Borgata, Scarlett Johannsson, the goofball from my company, the foreign billeting clerk with less-than-perfect English, Batman, Indiana Jones, Seth Rogan, Uncle Sam, Saddam Hussein, Sergeant Leif Olson, Megan (wonderful eleven year old from Muncie, Indianna—that’s the way she spelled it), Miss Grengarten, Miss Green-Goblin, and Glen Wiggy.

The book is available at iUniverse.com, Amazon.com, BN.com and a few other online retailers. Hardback, softback and electronic versions (Kindle, Sony eReader, NOOK, iBooks, Kobo Reader, .pdf and more) are available. I hope you enjoy it.

The post is tl;dr, i can't imagine what the book would be like.
(no offense intended)
Do you actually add anything to the knowledge base, or is it just for fun?

" 1536 Free Waters and Other Blackjack Endeavors--Finding Profit and Humor in Card-Counting "

The book can not seriously be worse than the title REALLY !

Since you self published, I assume you picked this title !

Quote: WongBo

The post is tl;dr, i can't imagine what the book would be like.
(no offense intended)
Do you actually add anything to the knowledge base, or is it just for fun?

Per Amazon : Part how-to manual, part memoir.

Well, good luck with it.
1536 Free Waters...does not make me curious or interested,
Why not just go with the second half of the title, or something more enticing?
I have an ex who is an editor at Knopf, if you want his opinion

Glad to see Talmadge made it in.

I will lose no time in reading it.

Quote: WongBo

1536 Free Waters...does not make me curious or interested,

Ditto.

Even though I only drink water in a casino, I think "1536 free beers..." might draw more attention.

Quote: WongBo

The post is tl;dr, i can't imagine what the book would be like.
(no offense intended)
Do you actually add anything to the knowledge base, or is it just for fun?

No offense taken. The book is intended for the gambler who can read more than one paragraph at a time without needing a smoke, a drink or a trip back to the blackjack pit for a few hands.

There is beginner advice on card-counting in the book using cartoons and graphics. The content is about 20% how-to and 80% humor. Judging from other replies to my post, it looks like some players could use a few laughs!

Quote: Juyemura

Glad to see Talmadge made it in.

Thanks, Jeff. That story is actually featured on the front flap of the hard back version. If you liked that one, you should read "The 800-Number," "The Quiz," and "The Superstitiion Experiment."

I have a sense of humor. the title SUCKS Absolutely positively SUCKS !

take it easy on the guy. This post was terrible but the others have been, eh, ok.

Hey He can change the name easily on the E book version and test it on Amazon.

Hey , the title sucks. I had to look a second time to even know it was a BJ book.

1536 Free Waters is not an eye catcher or funny. I had to read a review to know he was talking about bottles of water ! ! !

Quote: buzzpaff

Hey He can change the name easily on the E book version and test it on Amazon.

Hey , the title sucks. I had to look a second time to even know it was a BJ book.

1536 Free Waters is not an eye catcher or funny. I had to read a review to know he was talking about bottles of water ! ! !

You are now morally obligated to buy the book, Sir! [g]

btw downloading Kindle free on your compute is a piece of cake.