How would you explain a $400K win?
Poll
 | 14 votes (50%) | ||
| | 4 votes (14.28%) | ||
| | 7 votes (25%) | ||
| | 2 votes (7.14%) | ||
| | 3 votes (10.71%) |
28 members have voted
February 7th, 2013 at 6:55:26 PM
permalink
Disclaimer: *the following situation is hypothetical and any resemblance to real life people or situations is purely coincidental*
I have a friend who was raised in an environment where most of his family disapprove of gambling. His family would probably be angry if they knew he was gambling. He probably had a lifetime loss of $100K but over the course of a month this friend has gone on a streak and managed to win about $400K. He is pretty much done with gambling since he has come out ahead and knows future similar results would be highly unlikely.
The friend is going to pay off his undergraduate student loans. He has job but wants to quit and enroll full-time in graduate school. He is sure that his parents would be suspicious about how he would be able to pay for those expenses. He wants to tell his parents but is not sure how they would react. He thinks there is a 50% chance they would be very angry, 30% chance they would be moderately angry and 20% chance they would not be happy. He thinks it would be easier to tell his family if the money could help them but they are pretty well off and would not need financial support. He has decided on these options:
1. Tell his family everything with a high chance of straining family relationships
2. Doesn't tell his family and continues with current plan of going to graduate school, fabricates a story now and tells the truth in the future (66% chance that guilt could have negative impact on his health)
3. Doesn't tell his family, keeps his current job and continues to live his normal life and put the $400k towards retirement, fabricates a story now and tells the truth in the future (66% chance that guilt could have negative impact on his health)
4. Never tells his family, donates $400k to a charity (10% chance that guilt could have negative impact on his health)
I have a friend who was raised in an environment where most of his family disapprove of gambling. His family would probably be angry if they knew he was gambling. He probably had a lifetime loss of $100K but over the course of a month this friend has gone on a streak and managed to win about $400K. He is pretty much done with gambling since he has come out ahead and knows future similar results would be highly unlikely.
The friend is going to pay off his undergraduate student loans. He has job but wants to quit and enroll full-time in graduate school. He is sure that his parents would be suspicious about how he would be able to pay for those expenses. He wants to tell his parents but is not sure how they would react. He thinks there is a 50% chance they would be very angry, 30% chance they would be moderately angry and 20% chance they would not be happy. He thinks it would be easier to tell his family if the money could help them but they are pretty well off and would not need financial support. He has decided on these options:
1. Tell his family everything with a high chance of straining family relationships
2. Doesn't tell his family and continues with current plan of going to graduate school, fabricates a story now and tells the truth in the future (66% chance that guilt could have negative impact on his health)
3. Doesn't tell his family, keeps his current job and continues to live his normal life and put the $400k towards retirement, fabricates a story now and tells the truth in the future (66% chance that guilt could have negative impact on his health)
4. Never tells his family, donates $400k to a charity (10% chance that guilt could have negative impact on his health)
February 7th, 2013 at 6:57:37 PM
permalink
He is an adult and has the right to make his own choices. The sooner his "disapproving" family understands that, the better for everyone involved.
I would go with option 3, solely because it's not so easy anymore to find a good job out of grad school. But option 1 sounds good too.
I would go with option 3, solely because it's not so easy anymore to find a good job out of grad school. But option 1 sounds good too.
February 7th, 2013 at 7:03:52 PM
permalink
Tell him to man up and tell his family like it is. Nobody likes getting lied too.
February 7th, 2013 at 7:04:30 PM
permalink
If it's a wife he's lying to, then I'd say it's a bad idea. But if it's his other family, he's been lying about gambling anyway, so I doubt he'd stop lying about it now. Go to grad school and just say you are going to have some loans. If he's an adult making life decisions (not going to school/changing jobs) because he can't tell his parents he won money, he needs to gain a little independence. I loved my parents, but by the time I was in my 20s, my financial situation had nothing to do with their advice, approval, or knowledge. I wasn't hiding anything; I was just living my own life.
February 7th, 2013 at 7:06:01 PM
permalink
he should disown his family for being prudish
Each day is better than the next
February 7th, 2013 at 7:12:04 PM
permalink
He is single in his mid 20's so it would be his parents and older sisters that don't know.
"I wasn't hiding anything; I was just living my own life"
He hadn't thought of it that way but that is a good way to look at it.
"I wasn't hiding anything; I was just living my own life"
He hadn't thought of it that way but that is a good way to look at it.
February 7th, 2013 at 7:26:51 PM
permalink
There must be some strings attached, because why would he care if they disapprove unless confessing jeopardizes his future with them in some way finacially
.
Mums the word, it is none of their business. If he has won so much in relation to his lifetime losses, he better get it together and no longer gamble or it is all pointless. The biggest risk is losing the winnings number one and if the graduate school option is taken, he should find a way for the money to be protected from himself so his expenses can be paid for living and school bills. It is much better to pay for an education upfront than to have the indentured servant system come after you.
.
Mums the word, it is none of their business. If he has won so much in relation to his lifetime losses, he better get it together and no longer gamble or it is all pointless. The biggest risk is losing the winnings number one and if the graduate school option is taken, he should find a way for the money to be protected from himself so his expenses can be paid for living and school bills. It is much better to pay for an education upfront than to have the indentured servant system come after you.
I am a robot.
February 7th, 2013 at 7:28:49 PM
permalink
If he lies he's going to get caught. And that will only amke things worse in the long run. Not to mention he'll have to keep up the lie for years. Giving the money away to charity, and thus staying saddled with students loans and giving up his desire to study furhter is also a very bad idea.
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
February 7th, 2013 at 7:42:43 PM
permalink
JC......a bunch of Dr. Phil's....it's a hypothetical situation/question......try to have some fun with this.......sometimes I feel like Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in these forums
Each day is better than the next
February 7th, 2013 at 8:09:34 PM
permalink
any choice but number 4. he should prob enroll in grad school if that was his plan but wait til once he starts going to classes and such to then tell his parents that he is going to grad school and how he was able to afford to get there so they can at least see him doing something productive with the money.
February 7th, 2013 at 8:54:01 PM
permalink
Yeah, I'd suggest to just ask the family if it's alright to keep finances private or if they want to know the details.
It's not like this guy is doing anything illegal.
Keep it private if judgement is feared to the negative side.
My family would be "WOOHOO!!!"
And they're religious. Just not going to strain relationships over it.
It's not like this guy is doing anything illegal.
Keep it private if judgement is feared to the negative side.
My family would be "WOOHOO!!!"
And they're religious. Just not going to strain relationships over it.
aahigh.com
February 7th, 2013 at 9:17:12 PM
permalink
There is no way this guy won $400k and he is done gambling. No matter what he says. But he should tell the truth
February 7th, 2013 at 10:14:23 PM
permalink
#2, lie about taking out student loans. Like a true gambling addict, double down.
Its - Possessive; It's - "It is" / "It has"; There - Location; Their - Possessive; They're - "They are"
February 7th, 2013 at 10:24:57 PM
permalink
What was his game, and where did he play?
"What, me worry?"
February 7th, 2013 at 10:40:57 PM
permalink
Pay off loans. Tell anybody he cares about the complete truth. Continue in real job. Grad school is a racket and mostly does not improve income expectation or job satisfaction.
When you lie to people you are close to it creates distance. When you lie to everybody you end up feeling like you have no friends.I hide nothing from my parents and siblings, nothing from wife, and nothing fromy best friend.
When you lie to people you are close to it creates distance. When you lie to everybody you end up feeling like you have no friends.I hide nothing from my parents and siblings, nothing from wife, and nothing fromy best friend.
February 7th, 2013 at 10:43:32 PM
permalink
Quote: ahiromu#2, lie about taking out student loans. Like a true gambling addict, double down.
If he was able to get away with gambling, I presume his family isn't checking his finances. So, if he needs to, he can lie about taking out student loans and just use the money to follow his dream of grad school. It's his life, and if he needs to lie about how he's paying for grad school, so be it.
I agree that there's no way he's finished gambling, but it's interesting to consider the possibility of such discipline. I see no way someone goes from a lifetime negative $100k to a positive $400k in relatively short stead and doesn't chase that high
February 8th, 2013 at 12:47:40 AM
permalink
Everyone's advice is greatly appreciated. I believe he will ultimately end up moving to the state where he plans on going to graduate school at. He will probably work for at least a year to qualify for in-state tuition but may work longer if he likes the job. He has already set aside $200k in a brokerage account and after he pays off his $10k in student loans he will donate $10k to a worthy cause.
He will not be proactive in divulging information to his family but if they ask questions, then he will give them vague but factually correct answers and will be completely candid if pressed further.
He will not be proactive in divulging information to his family but if they ask questions, then he will give them vague but factually correct answers and will be completely candid if pressed further.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:50:24 AM
permalink
Quote: MrVWhat was his game, and where did he play?
He played blackjack in South Korea, Macau, South Africa and Vegas.
February 8th, 2013 at 2:06:38 AM
permalink
Quote: uwfargoI believe he will ultimately end up moving to the state where he plans on going to graduate school at. He will probably work for at least a year to qualify for in-state tuition but may work longer if he likes the job. He has already set aside $200k in a brokerage account and after he pays off his $10k in student loans he will donate $10k to a worthy cause.
He will not be proactive in divulging information to his family but if they ask questions, then he will give them vague but factually correct answers and will be completely candid if pressed further.
Hypothetically...
February 8th, 2013 at 2:35:42 AM
permalink
Quote: seviayI agree that there's no way he's finished gambling, but it's interesting to consider the possibility of such discipline. I see no way someone goes from a lifetime negative $100k to a positive $400k in relatively short stead and doesn't chase that high
I would like to hope he is finished but one can truly never be sure. I would think all of his good and bad experiences would help him towards staying disciplined.
I think when he went from being down $100k lifetime to a positive $200k he did have a high and pressed to $450k but losing $50k brought him back to reality.
February 8th, 2013 at 2:36:29 AM
permalink
Quote: MonkeyMonkeyHypothetically...
that goes without saying
February 8th, 2013 at 2:44:27 AM
permalink
Quote: uwfargoHe played blackjack in South Korea, Macau, South Africa and Vegas.
0_0
I'm going to say they know.
The trick to poker is learning not to beat yourself up for your mistakes too much, and certainly not too little, but just the right amount.
February 8th, 2013 at 5:14:29 AM
permalink
suggest to just a
Fighting BS one post at a time!
February 8th, 2013 at 7:11:02 AM
permalink
First of all, there is NO WAY he is done gambling. You don't get to that level of action and then stop. You just don't. Period. That is the nature of the beast. So he may take a break for a while, but he will be back at the tables at some point.
Secondly, I would keep the winnings secret. I told my parents about my $10k+ in losses, and they freaked out. It really painted me in a bad light (even though most of it was money I had won). Most people would not be pleased to hear about those wins OR losses. I would just keep it to myself.
Secondly, I would keep the winnings secret. I told my parents about my $10k+ in losses, and they freaked out. It really painted me in a bad light (even though most of it was money I had won). Most people would not be pleased to hear about those wins OR losses. I would just keep it to myself.
"Dice, verily, are armed with goads and driving-hooks, deceiving and tormenting, causing grievous woe." -Rig Veda 10.34.4
February 8th, 2013 at 7:34:35 AM
permalink
Quote: teddysSecondly, I would keep the winnings secret. I told my parents about my $10k+ in losses, and they freaked out. It really painted me in a bad light (even though most of it was money I had won).
All this reminds me of an annecdote in Asimov's biography. Young Issac once confessed to his father he had played "a little game of poker with the boys." His stern, moralistic and very frugal father asked him how he'd made out. Asimov answered he'd lost fifty cents.
"Thank God!" Asimov's dad said "Think, what if you had won fifty cents?"
Anyway, people unfamiliar with gambling would missunderstand losses, and a big loss is more likely to end someone's gambling days than a big win.
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
February 8th, 2013 at 7:49:46 AM
permalink
Quote: BeardgoatThere is no way this guy won $400k and he is done gambling. No matter what he says. But he should tell the truth
I have to agree with this. He was on quite a ride, and a ride that would be taken again.
I can imaging such huge money "waking up" a gambler, where he can say (and carry out): "I have an opportunity to be free of debt, and REALLY set myself up properly for life, if handled wisely. Let me cash out and go."
We can piss away money we've worked hard for, and not just on gambling, if we gamble. How much easier is "luck money." Easy money can be easily spent, so I hope he sets up his life with this.
He owes no one an explanation (aside from a spouse), he's a big boy.
Once he sets himself up, and gets into a good groove, gambling may later call him back. But he'll always have a Master's degree. That, once earned, cannot be unearned. But money, once won, can be lost again.
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes - Henry David Thoreau. Like Dealers' uniforms - Dan.
February 8th, 2013 at 8:01:38 AM
permalink
Since he can't offset previous year's losses, he should pay the taxes on the $400k, pay his bills with the remaining money, and if he is serious about no longer gambling, sock the money away in a retirement fund. He should not have guilt for not telling the family. He should reason it this way: if I tell them, they will be hurt, so I won't tell them.
Any excess money should be spent on a shrink.
Any excess money should be spent on a shrink.
February 8th, 2013 at 9:09:11 AM
permalink
If your hypothetical friend came into such wealth, he should pay back his family for any tuition, living expenses, housing, transportation, etc. that they provided for him. It's only fair, since they carried him during the down time, that they get to share the pleasure of an upswing. Taking care of them shows that he recognizes and appreciates what they have done for him, and that it is no longer "their" money at risk.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - Leonardo da Vinci
February 8th, 2013 at 10:07:16 AM
permalink
If he's gambling out of country and not declaring his transactions inbound to the USA he's probably getting away with the gambling tax free.
I'd tell the family and let them deal with it. That's what family is for. They can't disown you after all.
I'd tell the family and let them deal with it. That's what family is for. They can't disown you after all.
-----
You want the truth! You can't handle the truth!
February 8th, 2013 at 2:23:05 PM
permalink
Why in the world do you care what these people think? UNless the $400k came from them, it is none of their business!
How in the world would they even know what you paid off? Are they running credit reports or hiring a forensic accountant
to investigate you?
Tell them "IWDIP" (I Do What I Please)
How in the world would they even know what you paid off? Are they running credit reports or hiring a forensic accountant
to investigate you?
Tell them "IWDIP" (I Do What I Please)
February 8th, 2013 at 8:31:23 PM
permalink
Ace is correct in his assertion. They have no right to know about the money unless they loaned money to you.
And your "friend" would be better off not telling them or ANYONE about his big win, because it will begin the non-stop hounding by friends and family to borrow money. He would "hypothetically" be harranged day and night, get phone calls, texts and e-mails from people wishing him well but having alterior motives.
It is known as the "Curse of the Lottery Winner", where people who had not spoken to you in years, now act like your best friends because you suddenly came into money.
Trust me, from first hand experience, winning a big score from a Casino can be troublesome from family members who were otherwise distant to you. I had a modest 5 figure score on a Slot machine one fine December night many years ago. Because word got out of my win, family began hassling me to borrow money.
I only gave money to those who I felt deserved and would use it for positive causes, but there are some who STILL ask me to help out despite my finances not being as lush as they once were. So it will always come up and could be a sore spot for family members, one way or the other.
And your "friend" would be better off not telling them or ANYONE about his big win, because it will begin the non-stop hounding by friends and family to borrow money. He would "hypothetically" be harranged day and night, get phone calls, texts and e-mails from people wishing him well but having alterior motives.
It is known as the "Curse of the Lottery Winner", where people who had not spoken to you in years, now act like your best friends because you suddenly came into money.
Trust me, from first hand experience, winning a big score from a Casino can be troublesome from family members who were otherwise distant to you. I had a modest 5 figure score on a Slot machine one fine December night many years ago. Because word got out of my win, family began hassling me to borrow money.
I only gave money to those who I felt deserved and would use it for positive causes, but there are some who STILL ask me to help out despite my finances not being as lush as they once were. So it will always come up and could be a sore spot for family members, one way or the other.
February 8th, 2013 at 9:00:53 PM
permalink
Quote: BeardgoatThere is no way this guy won $400k and he is done gambling. No matter what he says. But he should tell the truth
I'd like to update mine to... I would definitely not volunteer the info to anyone. But if for some reason it came up I would be honest with my family
February 9th, 2013 at 7:39:51 AM
permalink
Quote: AyecarumbaIf your hypothetical friend came into such wealth, he should pay back his family for any tuition, living expenses, housing, transportation, etc. that they provided for him. It's only fair, since they carried him during the down time, that they get to share the pleasure of an upswing. Taking care of them shows that he recognizes and appreciates what they have done for him, and that it is no longer "their" money at risk.
He paid his way through college with scholarships and student loans. Although he did not need much help from them since he left for college, he would like to share the pleasures of the upswing with them. If he bought them expensive gifts then he thinks they would question how he could afford such things and does not want to debate with them about the morals of gambling.
February 9th, 2013 at 8:20:42 AM
permalink
February 9th, 2013 at 8:45:29 AM
permalink
For me, it's option 2 because I wouldn't want my family to know I had a lot of extra cash and if they ask, it's none of their business but for this guy, 1 is best. He should tell the family that he won some graduate school money and that this is who he is and how he's going to run his life. His family will get over it.
Someday, joor goin' to see the name of Googie Gomez in lights and joor goin' to say to joorself, "Was that her?" and then joor goin' to answer to joorself, "That was her!" But you know somethin' mister? I was always her yuss nobody knows it! - Googie Gomez
February 9th, 2013 at 9:07:34 AM
permalink
First photo is South Korea . . . I recognize the new 50,000 won note . . . what are the others?
Edit: Photo #2 -- Hong Kong One Thousand Dollar Note.
Photo #3 -- South Africa Two Hundred Rand Note.
That's awesome and terrifying at the same time. I would never want to win or lose that much of a sum at blackjack.
Edit: Photo #2 -- Hong Kong One Thousand Dollar Note.
Photo #3 -- South Africa Two Hundred Rand Note.
That's awesome and terrifying at the same time. I would never want to win or lose that much of a sum at blackjack.
"Dice, verily, are armed with goads and driving-hooks, deceiving and tormenting, causing grievous woe." -Rig Veda 10.34.4
February 9th, 2013 at 9:20:18 AM
permalink
Quote: uwfargoHe paid his way through college with scholarships and student loans. Although he did not need much help from them since he left for college, he would like to share the pleasures of the upswing with them. If he bought them expensive gifts then he thinks they would question how he could afford such things and does not want to debate with them about the morals of gambling.
But where did the $100k that was originally lost come from? Student loans?
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - Leonardo da Vinci
February 9th, 2013 at 4:19:55 PM
permalink
Quote: AyecarumbaBut where did the $100k that was originally lost come from? Student loans?
He had a part-time job in high school and would lose about $1000 a year betting online. In college, a combination of scholarships and student loans exceeded what was need to pay for tuition and housing. Instead of reducing the loan amount by the excess, he used it party and gamble. He would later receive an inheritance during his junior year of college.
He has learned from his past experiences and hopes they will help him stay disciplined. He has experienced every high and every low and has seen almost everything when it comes to gambling. He does not feel like there is anything left to see.
February 10th, 2013 at 9:03:51 AM
permalink
Your friend sounds a bit like me. I was up 50k last week. then went on tilt after losing 5k bet on a "winning" blackjack hand to a dealers blackjack, which is a bust in Australia to go on to lose another 30k after that.
Now I wish that I had bought a 1999 panigale or a 30k breitling watch, fixed my teeth or pay off my benz rather then give it back to the Casino. I say spend it before you lose it. Or pay down debts or buy real estate. Just bring down the bank roll to around where he started. Because money you traditionally work for you tend to keep easier. Money you win fast you should spend just as fast in my opinion. I'd rather spend all my winnings and feel broke again, then lose it some other way and feel broke.
Personally I like to feel broke So I stay sharp and on my toes, when I have money, I get cocky, arrogant and a little too laid back at times.
ps. watched some guy make 3 mil at baccarat a week ago as well. If it was me, I would buy a penthouse suite and a lambo, even if i'm on vacation, leave it in storage for next time.
Now I wish that I had bought a 1999 panigale or a 30k breitling watch, fixed my teeth or pay off my benz rather then give it back to the Casino. I say spend it before you lose it. Or pay down debts or buy real estate. Just bring down the bank roll to around where he started. Because money you traditionally work for you tend to keep easier. Money you win fast you should spend just as fast in my opinion. I'd rather spend all my winnings and feel broke again, then lose it some other way and feel broke.
Personally I like to feel broke So I stay sharp and on my toes, when I have money, I get cocky, arrogant and a little too laid back at times.
ps. watched some guy make 3 mil at baccarat a week ago as well. If it was me, I would buy a penthouse suite and a lambo, even if i'm on vacation, leave it in storage for next time.
February 10th, 2013 at 9:59:04 AM
permalink
Love it! You gotta dream big. I assume you you meant an 1199 Panigale not a 1999. It retails for about $18,000 in the U.S. That's a little more doable than the other things on your list. Keep posting. I enjoyed your story.
Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth. - Mahatma Ghandi
February 10th, 2013 at 10:36:20 AM
permalink
Just have your friend tell them he was the recipient of the Human Fund's Humanitarian of the Year award and its $400,000 honorarium.
February 10th, 2013 at 11:29:46 PM
permalink
Quote: boymimboIf he's gambling out of country and not declaring his transactions inbound to the USA he's probably getting away with the gambling tax free.
Getting all that cash from the photos past customs without declaring it would be seriously stressful. :)
February 10th, 2013 at 11:42:41 PM
permalink
Quote: kiloPersonally I like to feel broke So I stay sharp and on my toes, when I have money, I get cocky, arrogant and a little too laid back at times.
This is really good advice. Stuffing money away where it cannot be easily accessed is a good plan.
Having all of that cash literally on hand has its own set of risks. It can disappear easily in so many ways.
You want to feel broke for sure.
$400,000 sounds like a lot of money, but if you spread it out over the number of days that you expect to be alive .. even with reasonable interest returns, it may be a more enlightened way to think about the value of the money.
I continuously think to myself, "I'm broke I'm broke" and I tell people that. And I agree 100% that this is what smart money is all about.
I ridden the roller coaster of up and down hundreds of thousands of dollars, and I think Kilo has it right on this one.
aahigh.com
March 6th, 2013 at 11:13:29 AM
permalink
If you are going to divulge the gambling I would say I won it playing slots when I was waiting for a friend at a casino or something. Played 20 bucks and hit the jackpot. I told my mom this when I started playing VP. Told her I was playing for a bit and made like $1k.
If you aren't going to divulge the gambling, I would say he came into a rare scholarship that will fund most of the school + he saved money up to make this happen. Works better if he's known throughout the family as a saver and not a spender.
If you aren't going to divulge the gambling, I would say he came into a rare scholarship that will fund most of the school + he saved money up to make this happen. Works better if he's known throughout the family as a saver and not a spender.
"Man Babes" #AxelFabulous
