chook
chook
Joined: Jul 5, 2010
  • Threads: 5
  • Posts: 113
September 23rd, 2010 at 9:48:13 PM permalink
There should be some sort of a disclaimer on this stuff.
Someone might be genuine and take you all seriously.
Who knows what their state of mind is?
You can't trust a dog to mind your food.
AQT4U2XO
AQT4U2XO
Joined: Sep 19, 2010
  • Threads: 0
  • Posts: 9
September 23rd, 2010 at 10:05:08 PM permalink
Quote: Wizard

This is a good forum to get men's perspective on things. The ratio of women here, from what I can tell, is very low. I would welcome more, but, alas, the odds of casino games don't seem to interest most of them.

While I maintain that men are wired to spread their seed as much as possible, that doesn't mean they all act on that. Intelligent men, who understand the concept of risk and reward, and delaying gratification, are more likely to make decisions with their brains, as opposed to below the waist. They will be the ones to understand that the guilt and the consequences of being caught are not worth it. There are plenty of good men out there who are very low risks for cheating. Such men are usually the least in demand too.



Thank you for expanding on the subject a little more... I take comfort in knowing this.



Quote: Wizard

Such men are usually the least in demand too.



I agree 100% :)
The only lawsuits I regret, are the ones I DIDN'T file!
AQT4U2XO
AQT4U2XO
Joined: Sep 19, 2010
  • Threads: 0
  • Posts: 9
September 23rd, 2010 at 10:16:07 PM permalink
Quote: chook

There should be some sort of a disclaimer on this stuff.
Someone might be genuine and take you all seriously.
Who knows what their state of mind is?



Meaning, that a woman's man may be genuinely monogamous and after reading these posts may seriously believe all men cheat, including her man? After deciphering you're comment, I believe that's what it means, and I have taken everything into consideration and where they discuss the cost benefit/analysis factor, any reasonable person with common sense would realize not everything being said about men here is derogatory and that there are men out there who are monogamous. But if she is on the internet searching for answers in regards to whether or not her man is cheating on her, obviously he is displaying warning signs for her to be concerned about and so chances are, he probably or most likely is. I'm just sayin'...
The only lawsuits I regret, are the ones I DIDN'T file!
chook
chook
Joined: Jul 5, 2010
  • Threads: 5
  • Posts: 113
September 23rd, 2010 at 10:52:35 PM permalink
Quote: AQT4U2XO

Meaning, that a woman's man may be genuinely monogamous and after reading these posts may seriously believe all men cheat, including her man? After deciphering you're comment, I believe that's what it means, and I have taken everything into consideration and where they discuss the cost benefit/analysis factor, any reasonable person with common sense would realize not everything being said about men here is derogatory and that there are men out there who are monogamous. But if she is on the internet searching for answers in regards to whether or not her man is cheating on her, obviously he is displaying warning signs for her to be concerned about and so chances are, he probably or most likely is. I'm just sayin'...



I wasn't being specific. I was referring to all threads of this nature.
Not everyone has the constitution and resilience of a MRJJJ.
Don't want to see the Wizard end up on the O'Reilly Show.
You can't trust a dog to mind your food.
AQT4U2XO
AQT4U2XO
Joined: Sep 19, 2010
  • Threads: 0
  • Posts: 9
September 23rd, 2010 at 10:59:07 PM permalink
Quote: chook

I wasn't being specific. I was referring to all threads of this nature.
Not everyone has the constitution and resilience of a MRJJJ.
Don't want to see the Wizard end up on the O'Reilly Show.



hahahahaha! ya, I hear ya... lmao
The only lawsuits I regret, are the ones I DIDN'T file!
ItsCalledSoccer
ItsCalledSoccer
Joined: Aug 30, 2010
  • Threads: 42
  • Posts: 735
September 24th, 2010 at 7:44:50 AM permalink
Fun! More relationship advice!

IMHO, I agree with everyone who says that this guy is probably cheating. Nothing to add to that part of the discussion ...

BUT ... there is the slightest chance that he has a perfectly valid explanation. If you think you can handle it, ask for the explanation. This requires a few things from YOU, though:

1. You have to sit there and listen. No questions, no trying to "dig deeper," no confronting him with what you saw in his accounts (more on that later), none of that.
2. BEFORE you hear it, know what you have to hear to stay together. If you don't hear it, break up.
3. Don't cling to one little part of what he says to rationalize staying together. If he abuses your trust and you stay with him, then the problem becomes partly yours.

This will NOT be easy for you, especially the listening-only part. It requires a GREAT DEAL of maturity. If you don't think you can do these things, then break up.

I will say this, though ... it's a little weird to me that you are going into his personal accounts and "checking up" on him like that. Further, it's a lot weird that you're using the information to try to catch him in a lie. In other words, he's (almost certainly) cheating! How does it soften the blow to hear him lie about it?

At the end of the day, you have to trust whomever you're with. Checking up on him - using access to his private accounts that HE GAVE YOU - is unacceptable. Whatever the reason is he gave you those passwords, it wasn't to check up on him, and you're the one abusing trust. Yes, he may be a dog, but that doesn't allow you to be a prying harpie.

If he abuses your trust, you'll find out, and it will all be on him. And, it should make your should-I-stay-or-should-I-go decision easy.

PS - For a 9-month relationship, this doesn't really apply, but for years-long relationships, I would urge the woman to consider the totality of the guy's behavior. Cheating is ALWAYS a very bad thing, but if there's one cheating incident after, say, 7 years of complete and utter trustworthiness, there's a case to be made for extraordinary circumstances.

But again, I don't think that applies for a 9-month relationship.

My $0.02.

  • Jump to: