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kristywenz5636
kristywenz5636
kristywenz5636
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Joined: Aug 6, 2011
August 6th, 2011 at 4:37:34 PM permalink
I have been with my boyfriend since Nov. When we first hooked up we had an understanding that as soon as he was off parole he would be going back to his wife. (they have been separated 5 years and have 4 kids.) I did not want a serious relationship so it was convenient for me to agree to this arrangement. 6 months into the relationship he told me loved me, he wanted to stay with me and that he was not going back to his wife. I then let my guard down and allowed myself to fall in love with him. 3 months later he is off parole and able to see his kids. He goes every weekend which I think is fantastic that he is wanting to be involved with his kids. However, I have caught him in so many lies. i.e, him wearing his wedding ring only when he is there, lying about her not being there, reasons why he may have to stay longer. The main thing is that he not only takes a shower everytime he comes home but the first few weekends after sex he would say "oh my god that was so good" when he never said stuff like that before. I have repeatedly asked him prior to him seeing his kids if he was sure he wasnt going back to his wife. He assured me yes. I also told him that if I was ok with it when we hooked up I was ok with it now, and nothing had to change. When I question his lies I am called crazy, delusional, jealous, and he gets very angry. No matter what I do he will not be honest about the lies in which he is caught in. Do I tell him to go or do I wait it out to see if he stays or not?
kristywenz5636
kristywenz5636
kristywenz5636
  • Threads: 1
  • Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 6, 2011
August 6th, 2011 at 4:51:56 PM permalink
Quote: kristywenz5636

I have been with my boyfriend since Nov. When we first hooked up we had an understanding that as soon as he was off parole he would be going back to his wife. (they have been separated 5 years and have 4 kids.) I did not want a serious relationship so it was convenient for me to agree to this arrangement. 6 months into the relationship he told me loved me, he wanted to stay with me and that he was not going back to his wife. I then let my guard down and allowed myself to fall in love with him. 3 months later he is off parole and able to see his kids. He goes every weekend which I think is fantastic that he is wanting to be involved with his kids. However, I have caught him in so many lies. i.e, him wearing his wedding ring only when he is there, lying about her not being there, reasons why he may have to stay longer. The main thing is that he not only takes a shower everytime he comes home but the first few weekends after sex he would say "oh my god that was so good" when he never said stuff like that before. I have repeatedly asked him prior to him seeing his kids if he was sure he wasnt going back to his wife. He assured me yes. I also told him that if I was ok with it when we hooked up I was ok with it now, and nothing had to change. When I question his lies I am called crazy, delusional, jealous, and he gets very angry. No matter what I do he will not be honest about the lies in which he is caught in. Do I tell him to go or do I wait it out to see if he stays or not?

FleaStiff
FleaStiff
FleaStiff
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Joined: Oct 19, 2009
August 6th, 2011 at 5:32:12 PM permalink
Gee, I don't know. It seems like he has no particular desire to be honest with a woman who was dumb enough to get involved with an ex-con (whether for sex or for a relationship). I doubt he will be honest with you if you continue to nag him and I doubt he will be honest with you if you stop nagging him. So you might as well just stop nagging him and make up your mind.
kristywenz5636
kristywenz5636
kristywenz5636
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Joined: Aug 6, 2011
August 6th, 2011 at 5:53:58 PM permalink
I guess I just don't understand the reasoning behind him all of a sudden saying he wasn't going back to his wife. I guess I am confused. He was obviously up front and honest to begin with so why start lying about things he doesn't need to lie about?
avianrandy
avianrandy
avianrandy
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Joined: Mar 7, 2010
August 6th, 2011 at 8:56:27 PM permalink
It sounds as if he is a very manipulative person and likes to have his cake and eat it to so to speak.It would be interesting to know what he is on parole for as he sounds like he is a con artist and controlling.To me,whenever someone tells me they are separated,that is a red flag as things are very emotional for the parties during this time.I would suggest cutting all ties with this person in spite of being in love with him.A person who constantly lies would not be a person I would want to associate myself with.Good luck in your decision.
matilda
matilda
matilda
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Joined: Feb 4, 2010
August 6th, 2011 at 9:54:47 PM permalink
I think you know what you should do already. You came here for confirmation. You have it. All I had to read was that he has been separated for five years but no divorce. He is married and you are the side dish. My advise is to get out as fast as you can.
DonPedro
DonPedro
DonPedro
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August 6th, 2011 at 10:31:46 PM permalink
Sounds like a better post for Jerry Springer !!!


Not on WOO, good luck !!


Were gamblers , and for the most the most part , not ex-cons !
" If I had the money and the drinking capacity, I'd probably live at a blackjak table and let my life go to hell." Don Pedro
FleaStiff
FleaStiff
FleaStiff
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August 7th, 2011 at 1:27:54 AM permalink
Quote: DonPedro

Were gamblers , and for the most the most part , not ex-cons !


For the most part.
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
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August 9th, 2011 at 4:01:25 PM permalink
Guys who survive prison are generally good at manipulation and can play every type. He clearly has realized you can be kept around with some compliments and "I love yous." Get over your need to be around a "bad boy" and dump him.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
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