mkl654321
mkl654321
Joined: Aug 8, 2010
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December 23rd, 2010 at 9:01:16 AM permalink
I second the general advice that it is not worth the effort to try to collect, and that your legal ability to do so may be dubious, but you did mention the $500 car insurance payment you made for him--it may be possible to reverse that payment, depending on your credit card company's policies. It wouldn't be much trouble to find out, and if you're able to do it, it would take the minor hassle of filling out a claim form, but hey, it's $500.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.---George Bernard Shaw
ItsCalledSoccer
ItsCalledSoccer
Joined: Aug 30, 2010
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December 23rd, 2010 at 9:31:52 AM permalink
There *might* be some legal action you could take, but I would side with the folks who say to just take it as an expensive lesson. I don't know if you want to stay friends with this guy but, in the long run, a couple grand is 1) probably not worth the legal hassle, and 2) not a very large price to pay for learning a tough lesson and/or losing (what might be) a good friendship.

One thing I started doing a long time ago was to assume any "loan" to a friend was a gift, and when they ask for loans, I always re-frame it that way. If they pay me back, great, if not, I just don't worry about it. Sure, I've come across a couple of folks who just wanted a cash machine - including some pretty women - but I can always say no, and the decision to give/lend is always totally in my control. If they get all mad that I won't give them money, well, then they weren't really friends, were they?

Without exception, the friends-worth-having paid me back when they could, or at least were really in need for just that particular circumstance and never asked a second time for more money.
Wavy70
Wavy70
Joined: Nov 3, 2009
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December 23rd, 2010 at 10:19:13 AM permalink
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Polonius
I have a bewitched egg that I use to play VP with and I have net over 900k with it.
odiousgambit
odiousgambit 
Joined: Nov 9, 2009
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December 23rd, 2010 at 10:20:56 AM permalink
Agree with the advice so far.

Some possibility of turning this is as a bad debt on your taxes. I understand the IRS will squash such pretty quickly as not being set up originally as a proper promissory note, but perhaps it is worth a try for what they might view as a small amount.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!” She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
Ayecarumba
Ayecarumba
Joined: Nov 17, 2009
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December 23rd, 2010 at 12:01:10 PM permalink
If you can substantiate the loan, I would try to collect... from his parents or other relations. Family reputation is important in Asia, so it may give you some leverage.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - Leonardo da Vinci
EvenBob
EvenBob
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
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December 23rd, 2010 at 2:18:41 PM permalink
Embarrass him. Start telling everybody you both know that he doesn't pay his debts. Send a letter to his employer. Call his parents. Call his girlfriends parents. Go to places where he hangs out and embarrass him in front of people. He'll pay you, just be persistent.
"It's not enough to succeed, your friends must fail." Gore Vidal
ahiromu
ahiromu
Joined: Jan 15, 2010
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December 23rd, 2010 at 6:03:21 PM permalink
Quote: Ayecarumba

If you can substantiate the loan, I would try to collect... from his parents or other relations. Family reputation is important in Asia, so it may give you some leverage.



Best advice along with telling friends. Make sure you have some level of proof, such as the car insurance but you won't need as much in court. My family is japanese and if they knew I had outstanding debts id be screwed. Your burden of proof will be pretty low with his family because I am sure you're not the first he has done this to.

Also I agree, treat lending money to friends as a gift. If it is a large amount, draw something up.
Its - Possessive; It's - "It is" / "It has"; There - Location; Their - Possessive; They're - "They are"
HKrandom
HKrandom
Joined: Oct 1, 2010
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December 23rd, 2010 at 7:58:40 PM permalink
I actually wanted to tell his parents but I do not know how to reach them, I only know where his own flat is. Since I am leaving soon I guess the only thing I can do right now is to make more public posts about him on Facebook and hope he hears from them even though he deleted his account. I also know he is a member of several clubs like the Cadet Corps but I doubt contacting them would help. I would have to wait until September to sue him and by then I'm not even sure I will be able to reach him.

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