Mission...Update

I suppose the first thing I should do is address some of the comments, and then we'll get on with the rest of the story of the last few months in a post to follow this one.

Self-Exclusion/Detainment

I was not detained nor did I have to sign any forms if I simply wanted to accept the fact that they were kicking me out of the casino for an unspecified period of time. Due to the fact that I wanted to be excluded from the casino, they had to walk me over to the security desk and call the State Lottery Commission agent (i.e. not a casino employee) whose office is located at the first door (unmarked) to the left as you go down the corridor leading to the elevators to the hotels. The office is very narrow (with a door on the other side into a larger office area containing the copier) with a chair for the State Lottery Representative and two chairs for whoever else is in there...I would assume that there could be casino security in there with the person if they feel the person is a threat, but they apparently did not consider me a physical threat to anyone because it was just myself and the agent in there.

You have to sign some forms and initial a bunch of places that you wish to be excluded from WV casinos. They take your picture to put it into the WV database, which is only used for that purpose, so casinos know you are not supposed to be there and they make a copy of your Driver's License. He explains that you COULD be charged with trespass if you are on the premises and/or using the services of any of the four WV casinos or the Greenbriar Resort, and that it is at the discretion of the casino whether or not they wish to charge you with trespass. He explains that you have to leave the property as soon as the process is finished. He explains that the casinos are not responsible for ensuring that you do not enter them, however, they must remove you from the property or make a trespass complaint against you if they find that you are both on the property AND on the self-exclusion list. He explains that the ban only applies to the four West Virginia casinos and the GreenBriar Resort and does not apply to any establishment housing State Lottery Operated Video Lottery Terminals. (i.e. parlors and bars)

After explaining all this, he informs the main security desk that you have voluntarily excluded yourself from the casino and must be asked to leave if you are seen on the premises. He then takes you to the main entrance, waits for it to clear out, and explains the same thing to the main entrance guy. Finally, he asks you to go directly to your vehicle and vacate the property if you drove or to walk straight down the driveway and off of the property if you walked.

It's obviously a largely symbolic process, while I clearly couldn't get my player's card back (he tells the main security desk to deactivate it) I could probably go there after work and nobody would bat an eye, but I don't intend to ever return to that casino again, so I won't.

In fact, I've been researching some information on Greyhound Racing and I'm largely pissed off that such a thing even exists, so I'm not going to support any casino (or even AP) in which that casino participates in, or the corporation owning that casino also owns a different casino that has, dog racing of any kind.

Why did you lose your cool? Were you drunk?

I was not drunk as this was some point prior to even being noon that day, in fact, I'd just gotten up an hour before that.

I lost my cool because I kind of carried a grudge for being removed from the property for twenty-four hours for playing a Quick Hits flat-top at $0.01/spin and writing down the results because I wanted to deconstruct the machine. In addition to that, I'm pissed off that they engage in greyhound racing. Finally, I really don't give a $&%&^, given my current financial state of affairs, it would be irresponsible of me to play any kind of open-ended play, regardless of the advantage, so the whole Player's Club card trick (which yielded me about $800 over three months, just for the record, that's doing it eight hours per week) was really the best thing I had going. Other than that, I could really only AP Rock Around the Clock, Money Works/Venice Nights, and, obviously, Video Poker because you can fix your maximum tolerable loss.

It's basically the same thing at The Meadows, except UX and running off what's left of my Free Play is all I really have left there. There's also possibly one REALLY good advantage play there and I need to study it a bit more first. I'm not going to say much about it, except, if I'm right, nobody would ever believe it and it's worth about $20/hour, at least, that's what it averages so far...but there are only certain conditions where it works. In any case, when the conditions are met, I've literally never lost, so you have winning at an average $20/hour on 6/6 attempts. It could just be positive Variance, though, so that's why I'm not going after it very strong yet. I'm going to feel it out pretty gingerly a few more times, and if I am right, I'm going to hammer it until the fix it or get rid of the machine in question.

Meadows-UX

I know what day it is, GWAE, at least I think I do, but don't worry, the EV is not worth the gas or time for me unless I have Free Play to run through, anyway, and I have no reason to already be near the Meadows that day.

I also think some of the players have wised up, or we have more people there who also do it on an essentially recreational basis. That place was a gold mine for the longest time, and even on the day that you reference, you still don't get half of the EV that you'd have gotten there just a few months ago picking any day at random.

Also, not to get into a pi$$(#%ing contest, but :sings: My Ultimate X Run is Worse Than Yours Is!!! LOL

Bottom-Feeder Play

Of course it is, and I'm not insulted, I just have no bankroll. Actually, I don't really have any money, anymore...I've decided I can't really publicly discuss why, other than to say that, out of about $4,000 that I did have, I lost nearly $1,000 on an advantage play where I had a HUGE advantage on a must-hit Progressive that was a must-hit by $10,000!!! The rest of the money, well, let's just say being divested of that had nothing to do with any action on my part and leave it at that.

Money Help

I certainly appreciate the offers of financial assistance, but I appear to be fine on a day-to-day basis and will be restored to my former financial semi-stability by March of next year, though I won't be going to Vegas again until 2016.

Advantage Playing

UX is the only thing really going at Meadows, and that hasn't been great, recently, even in EV terms. I'm basically going to run off Free Play when I am nearby until they determine that my six month history does not warrant giving me anymore Free Play (or whatever period they use) and cut me off. At that point, I will probably cease any form of advantage play until I have $5,000, in liquid, free and clear, which will be about late-2015 to early-2016.

Recreational Gambling

I don't do much recreational gambling. Occasionally, (maybe once a month) I'll throw $5.00 at a WV Lottery VLT on nickel keno or VP for the free cappuccino and just to kind of relax. I'll probably continue to do that setting my budget for same at $5.00 a month. I just like trying to finally hit 10/10, which will probably never be expected to happen as I doubt if I will make nearly nine million Keno plays in my life to complete that particular cycle...lol

There's one parlor in particular in which I really like the atmosphere, but it would take free (and good) alcoholic beverages to get me to devote more than $5.00/month to -EV gambling.

I must have missed something. Why would you put yourself on a self exclusion list?

you are right about the UX at the Meadows. It is not worth a drive and the only time it is good is if you get lucky to have the high limit machine loaded. However, if you get crushed on a $2 5 play like I have a few times it is hard to recoup that with the limited amount of plays you get out of it.

A few weeks ago I was dealt trips on a 10 play $1 with a bunch of multipliers. I converted 3 of them into quads for around $600. I proceeded to lose on all $2 plays and got crushed on a $5 play. I ended up leaving up under $50.

The Rest of the Last Few Months

This is going to be briefer than originally intended, but I've decided to get into less detail than I was originally going to. I was sitting on about $4,000, in total, and lost about $1,000, cash, going after a must-hit Progressive for $10,000 at which I was at a tremendous advantage, but granted, the $1,000 was a fairly iffy amount to go after it. I essentially needed an actual return of about 80% to lock it up and I saw a sub-60% actual return and did not lock it up. My assumption is clearly that someone prior to me recognized the (obvious) advantage and also tapped out trying to hit it. I can't imagine any other possible reason for the must-hit meter to be where it was for that major.

In terms of the other $3,000 in easily liquefiable assets, it was liquefied, I didn't liquefy it, I'm pretty sure nothing that was actually illegal (unless it had been a few days later) took place. Even if it had, I wouldn't prosecute (or sue) the person in question, anyway. Again, I'm pretty sure it was legal, anyway.

I began working three twelve-hour shifts at the hotel and three twelve hour shifts at the Distribution Center right before I got divorced, the idea behind which was to have enough money to get my own place, stop living in the guest room of the house I own, and to get some stuff paid off faster. I actually engaged in this prior to that three grand being gone and prior to dropping the 1K on that advantage play.

My divorce agreement is such that my ex-wife will live in the house I own until she completes nursing school, at which point, she shall have 120 days to vacate the residence and turn it back over to me. During this time, I am making the mortgage payment, paying all the utilities and paying the cable/phone/internet bill as well as making the payment on the PT Cruiser.

The terms of the spousal/child support agreement are such that neither of us owes the other anything after 120 days from the date she graduates and/or the spousal support terminates if she re-marries or cohabits with someone else, but the child support continues. The child support terminates after 120 days from the date she finishes school and we have joint custody at all times. I claim both kids for tax years 2014 and 2015 and we each claim one thereafter.

I got the Cavalier and she got the PT Cruiser, but the Cavalier is finished (wasn't worth repairing) so she was letting me use the PT Cruiser for work purposes. I was basically only having any meaningful time with the kids on Thursdays until 6:00p.m. (had to go to bed to be up at 2:00a.m. to go to the Distribution Center) and on Sundays after working at the Distribution Center, though I was dead tired.

With the fuel costs associated with getting to the Distribution Center as well as staying at a nearby hotel (even at the employee rate) the extra money I was making was essentially pointless, and my ex-wife and I were at wit's end trying to cohabit the same household, so I negotiated a modest raise with the hotel at which I work as well as a free place to live at our other hotel, which essentially took care of why I wanted to make more money in the first place.

The other reason for doing that is that I was sick of being dead tired during my only meaningful time with the kids, so I decided, given the schedule for working only at the hotel, that I could take them both to school every morning and hang out with the youngest (pre-school gets done at 11:15) after school. My ex-wife decided she was p^$&^%%ed at me because Ohio hadn't given her any of the child support money yet (it was being taken out of my checks, the Hell else am I supposed to do after that?) so she decided to demand the PT Cruiser, to which she has legal right, or she was going to report it stolen...even though I never indicated any intent not to give it back!!!

Therefore, I am presently without a vehicle of my own, but I have access to one that I can borrow sometimes, and I live in a hotel room. I don't have a way to get to where I used to live (and she refused to let me keep a key to the house, anyway) so I only see the kids on Sunday despite my #1 reason for going back to the hotel was to spend time with the kids six days per week! My ex-wife claims she took the car because she thought I had pulled some sort of shenanigans on the child support not getting paid to her (how would I do that?) and she has in fact started getting the money Ohio has been taking out of my checks, though she has no desire to permit me use of the PT Cruiser for any reason.

Basically, I have no car, all of my savings is gone ($1,000 attributable to me and the rest having nothing to do with me), I live in a hotel room, I only see my kids one day per week when I switched my employment situation SPECIFICALLY so I could see them more often and I'm currently paying the mortgage, all of the utilities, cable/phone/internet and the PT Cruiser payment for about the next year and a half.

It's all good, though, I more-or-less have money to eat and a car that I can borrow once in a while, so the whole thing is basically just a rebuilding process. Obviously, all of the stress coming as a result of this stuff is what caused me to lose my S&%&^ at Wheeling Island three-and-a-half weeks ago, but I don't really care, because I don't have much desire to AP anymore, anyway, for the time being until I have a bunch of free and clear cash.

PM if you want more details, but that's all I have to say publicly on the matter. Feel free to ask questions publicly, if you like, I'll either answer or PM the answer. Thank you for your kind attention.

Quote: AxelWolf

I must have missed something. Why would you put yourself on a self exclusion list?

I didn't want to be forced to leave by them, kind of a, "You can't fire me, I QUIT!" sort of thing.

My emotional state of affairs, admittedly, hasn't been what it could be the last month or two. I have a plan, though, and a timetable for the implementation thereof, so I feel better now.

Mission, I am bummed to hear about your current situation.......marital dissolution sucks for everyone involved despite that fact that at times it is simply unavoidable. I wish you good fortune with your fresh start and hope you get as much time as possible with the kids.

Shit. Now I will have to tell my sad story. F*** See Mike, my gut was right. F***

Mission,

This is where all the clichés come in.

One day at a time. You're doing it. Keep going; it's going to take a while, but you'll get through this. And I'm here, as are a bunch of other folks, though they'll have to speak for themselves on that. PM or whatever, let me/us know when we can help and how.

Mission, I just want to say, my thoughts are with you as you fight through this extremely tumultuous period in your personal life. With all my heart, I hope that when the dust settles, you find the happiness, of which you are entitled to.

As for the self exclusion stuff, I can't say that I really 'get' that. It seems like kind of a strange decision, but I hope it works for you as you intend it to.

I do have a question about the self exclusion list that I want to throw out and anyone who knows can feel free to chime in. Is there a way to reverse this decision at a later date, if one chooses to do so? I am not suggesting that Mission might want to do so, just asking in general terms.

Self-exclusion lists can sometimes be appealed, but I'm thinking they're usually needed to be completed for the lowest term periods. They're totally worthless, totally fake and shouldn't be taken lightly. Sometimes people have been banned in other states unknowingly because of casino chain rules.

On a less serious note, your problem with greyhound race tracks. I have had 2 great dogs, both retired greyhounds. Many year ago. One was named Divannah, the other Smoking Joe. YEP, named after Mister Frazier.

Keep your head up buddy. Luckily you still have your health, and the bankroll can be rebuilt. Understanding the swings of a game with an advantage is something I will always be cautious of, ever since losing a chunk of my BR from playing higher denoms. Sometimes you're on a high from winning all the time and getting lucky, and press it way too much outside of your financial comfort.

I sent you a PM. Hope to see you in Las Vegas for some fun sometime in the future.

It's only money. Gee , I wish that was your only trouble. DO I EVER ! ! !

Sorry to hear your ex-wife managed to start pulling the kind of stunts that ex-wives with children often do. You are in grave danger that she may find herself with a big smile on her face thinking about how you only see the kids one day a week. And start planning to make it get worse, we've all seen it.

I am glad to hear that you don't regret having no lawyer help with the divorce arrangement.

Getting your money confiscated in what you deem as a possibly legal manner makes it sound like you got a judgement against you, you didnt pay, and the powers that be allowed seizure . This are the kind of matters where being your own lawyer definitely does not work!

So, if this is *not* what took your money, you should clear that up.

Quote: Axelwolf

it went down like this?

The actor is a Shackleford! Amazing! Shall we vote about whether he looks like Michael at all?

Well, we have found out that indeed there is a man who lives a life of Danger!

Quote: odiousgambit

Sorry to hear your ex-wife managed to start pulling the kind of stunts that ex-wives with children often do. You are in grave danger that she may find herself with a big smile on her face thinking about how you only see the kids one day a week. And start planning to make it get worse, we've all seen it.

I am glad to hear that you don't regret having no lawyer help with the divorce arrangement.

Getting your money confiscated in what you deem as a possibly legal manner makes it sound like you got a judgement against you, you didnt pay, and the powers that be allowed seizure . This are the kind of matters where being your own lawyer definitely does not work!

So, if this is *not* what took your money, you should clear that up.

my take on it is he had something of value, ie. jewelry, coins, or collectables. I am guessing that his wife liquidated them prior to the divorce being final so technically it was not illegal as she would have been an owner of the items. If it were a few days later when they were officially divorced then it would have been wrong. That is my guess.

Free at last. Amazing writing skills might come handy. Women will always be women, no need to waste time on figuring whose foul it is. Stop drinking, a lot of exercise and you'll be alright.

Mission, I'm going to take you up on your invitation to ask you questions publicly.

It didn't take you that long to get a steady girlfriend. Did you cheat on your wife while you were married, either physically or psychologically?

Your self exclusion is very strange. Did part of it have to do with compulsive gambling? Did you plan this exclusion ahead of time or did you think of it after the security guard told you to leave the casino?

Why did you curtail your forum participation? You post from work. Don't you still have use of the computer there?

Since gambling and Vegas are not going to be a part of your life, have you considered resigning from the forum or from your administrator position? I certainly hope not.

Card counters and non tippers have long been reviled on the pages of this forum. How would you compare these to what you did with your player's card?

A thread entitled "Where is Mission Poll" was started recently over what I saw as concern for you. It was promptly wiped from the forum. Were you consulted on this or did you have anything to do with it? Would you, as an administrator, have done that?

You, like many here, have said that you don't like to give out a lot of information about yourself but you have done just that. Everything from names of family members to make and model of vehicles, general location, photos of you, your occupation and now the divorce and casino banning. I'll bet there's only one person on the banned list with your first name in the entire state and possibly country. Do you think you've given out too much or are you okay with it?

You put yourself out there so I feel these are fair questions. I also feel that it is fair for you to decline to answer any or all of them as long as you do it nicely and don't tell me to do something weird in my hat.

" I also feel that it is fair for you to decline to answer any or all of them as long as you do it nicely and don't tell me to do something weird in my hat. "

I think with all his troubles. one ** **** ** **** *** is acceptable. I doubt Mission even owns a hat at this time...SIGH

I have a question, even a possible how you got caught. If you were bold enough to pull the old slot point mining trick. You might be bold enough to do the following. Did you ever approach anyone, not using a card and ask them if they would use yours? Logically, I can see this as begin the only way one could get diamond status, because the card timing out. If someone got suspicious of you asking them, they might have turned you in.

I doubt that. Self destruction is usually a solo event. There is a limit to how far a man will disgrace himself. Old drug counseling saying " You can't bounce till you hit bottom " Hopefully self exclusion was bottom. Sure hope so.

Quote: odiousgambit

Quote: Axelwolf

it went down like this?

The actor is a Shackleford! Amazing! Shall we vote about whether he looks like Michael at all?

Well, we have found out that indeed there is a man who lives a life of Danger!

You got to love the bathroom scene. That was mission(41 sec) after he it diamond status.

As I understand it, you AGREED, without hiring a lawyer, to an extremely one-sided, unfair plan?

You do realize, I hope, that she will probably screw you over, again, when she finishes nursing school and the time comes to finally start exercising "joint custody."

I can see it now: "You've changed. You haven't been seeing the kids. You are unstable. So now I (wife) am requesting full custody, and full child support, based on these changes in circumstances."

You've made a Procrustean bed for yourself.

Time to Lawyer Up!

Quote: MrV

You've made a Procrustean bed for yourself.

OK, I'll admit that I didn't know what procrustean meant.

adjective
1.
pertaining to or suggestive of Procrustes.
2.
(often lowercase) tending to produce conformity by violent or arbitrary means.

Now, to prove I have mastered this new word, I will use it in a sentence:

I, for one, am not in favor of procrustean posts.

A few random thoughts after reading this....

Glad to have you back Mission, I consider you a friend and know you will be fine in time. You are too good a person to not be. Not that there was any doubt, but you have shown it time and time again in this situation. And I know the right people will see it as well.

You have opened yourself up far more than any of us needed to know. I dont know if putting everything out there helps you, and if it does keep doing it. But I hope you know you dont owe anyone anything when it comes to your personal life.

For those who dont know Mission, he is one of the most trustworthy people I have ever met in multiple ways, but when it comes to AP trust, he is the tops. He has been given plays by one of, if not the best AP person on here, was asked not to share it, and NEVER did. So if he made a "mistake" on what some call a "Bottom Feeder" play, he deserves a pass. I am not saying he has NOT been given one here, but my opinion is that there is nothing good to be served by beating him up on it. And those who know him, already knew this and a lot more.

All of this is just me talking. And believing Mission knows how many of us on this forum would help him anyway we possibly can. In this situation, its easy to see that from the comments.

And on a lighter note, if anyone knows a good Divorce Lawyer that also likes to gamble out there, send him his way.

Hi Mission, wish you everything goes well from now on!

I agree with what MrV said above. Consider having a lawyer. (Well, that means you need money now.)
There is no such things as "a friendly divorce", "we are still love each other" etc.

Quote: pokerface

I agree with what MrV said above. Consider having a lawyer. (Well, that means you need money now.)
There is no such things as "a friendly divorce", "we are still love each other" etc.

Well, amazingly, after the divorce from my first wife, we settled on the split ("I get this, you get that, goodbye"), - and there was never a peep, question, complaint, or bicker from that moment on. Unadulterated peace from that moment on. Looking back, it seems like science fiction or some ethereal force enforcing a 100% permanent and peaceful resolution. I never saw such an occurrence again.

Mission deserves a pass because of his honesty and examination.

Confession doesn't require a Priest, confession requires examination: "What was I thinking?"

Quote: kewlj

As for the self exclusion stuff, I can't say that I really 'get' that. It seems like kind of a strange decision, but I hope it works for you as you intend it to. I do have a question about the self exclusion list that I want to throw out and anyone who knows can feel free to chime in. Is there a way to reverse this decision at a later date, if one chooses to do so? I am not suggesting that Mission might want to do so, just asking in general terms.

I fear Mission may have opened up a can of worms here. He said he could apply for reinstatement after one year. But has anyone ever been successfully reinstated in West Virginia? When I was on GWAE on 7 April 2011, the guest before me was named "Sammy Katz." He told his story of how he wound up being on a self exclusion list....and the repercussions of it.

Sammy was a midwestern video poker pro who went through an 8 month marriage. His wife quickly had issues with his gambling. It wasn't a thing about money, but time. He had a job but played video poker two days a week in his off time. He was a winning player. With the marriage in trouble they sought help from a marriage counselor. The counselor hit on several issues that can cause friction in the marriage and finally hit on the subject of gambling. To which his wife perked right up. The counselor strongly suggested that he attend Gamblers Anonymous to determine if he had gambling issues.

In order to save his marriage he started attending Gamblers Anonymous. The GA folks were all were all of the same mindset, gambling is bad, you can't win, etc. etc, etc. They even tried to get him to turn over all his assets to his wife. They requested that he put himself on self exclusions lists. To satisfy them, and his wife, he picked a casino that he had never ever had an advantage play in before.....and figured a play would never develop there.

His marriage ended anyway. And he went back to playing video poker. 12 years go by and a big juicy play developed in the casino he had excluded himself from. He applied for reinstatement. They told him he would never be reinstated. There reasoning was they could open themselves up to some major liability if they reinstated him. He did some investigating and found that state law was a person could apply for reinstatement after 5 years, but no one had ever been successfully reinstated.

deleted

The Connecticut casinos take self exclusion very very seriously. At Mohegan Sun, for example, the self exclusion options are five years or life. If life is chosen you will never be reinstated. There are no second chances. After five years you must send a letter to the Director of Security asking for reinstatement. It is an arduous and often futile process that requires you to wait for a reinstatement letter from the Ejection Committee, a letter that often never comes. Yes, they take it seriously enough to have a committee.

Foxwoods was one of the first casinos in the nation to offer self exclusion and has similar policies. They offer two year, five year or lifetime exclusion. Both casinos have excluded patrons that they have deemed to be problem gamblers without them applying.

I believe there should be a cooling off period after excluding oneself. People signing these papers are often not thinking, are emotional and are at a low point in their lives. Of course if someone wants to gamble there is no shortage of places to do so. They don't need casinos.

I have heard that you have to go to a psychologist and have them write a letter on your behalf that it is safe to gamble.

At the risk of upsetting anyone living there (with or without being in a relationship with their cousin), remember we are only taking about West Virginia. It's not like we are talking about a real state or somewhere in this country.

If you self exclude, that signals you have a serious problem. I sure as hell would not take your action later. Had players do same thing with bookies I worked with. You wanna kill yourself, your business, not mine. NO. I will not put bullets in the gun for you.

Quote: Buzzard

If you self exclude, that signals you have a serious problem.

Absolutely. I had a bar and if a guy said
never serve him again, I never would,
even if he came back in 6 months begging
me to. It means nothing but possible bad
trouble. I'm sure casinos feel exactly the
same way.

Asking to be put on a self-exclusion list means, only, you, do, not, want, to, be, legally allowed, inside, the, casino. Show me how casinos can be held liable anyways for allowing someone legally allowed inside a casino whom also has a gambling problem. Casinos would have to fold up. Did you read Mission say he hated how predatory and harmful the casino was to people who did have gambling problems and also unable to afford to lose gambling? 80/20 rule still in effect in every casinos boys and the only people the casinos toss are those wanting to win.

Quote: mickeycrimm

12 years go by and a big juicy play developed in the casino he had excluded himself f

That's the first thing that pop'ed up in my mind.

I was thinking WhyTF would you do that. Not to mention, something like this, could somehow follow you around the rest of your life, and seep into other aspects of your life.

Self exclusion says one thing to most people (gambling problem, no self control). A stigma comes with it. You can explain the circumstances but, so can ex-cons.

For instance, this could be used as a reason for an employer to not hire you. Possibly fire you. Who knows.

Child Custody issues, loans, credit who knows what could come up in the future.

I just think this all was TMI.

Quote: AxelWolf

That's the first thing that pop'ed up in my mind.

I was thinking WhyTF would you do that. Not to mention, something like this, could somehow follow you around the rest of your life, and seep into other aspects of your life.

Self exclusion says one thing to most people (gambling problem, no self control). A stigma comes with it. You can explain the circumstances but, so can ex-cons.

For instance, this could be used as a reason for an employer to not hire you. Possibly fire you. Who knows.

Child Custody issues, loans, credit who knows what could come up in the future.

I just think this all was TMI.

I don't think this is a matteR of public record and people only know if you tell them and unable to be verified anyways.

" Of course if someone wants to gamble, there is no shortage of places to do so. They don't need casinos. "

Well said, Sir. That why I would never let them have action again in my casino . Who needs another headache !

Quote: onenickelmiracle

I don't think this is a matteR of public record and people only know if you tell them and unable to be verified anyways.

It is now.

Kind of like FB.

I doubt anything will come of it. But you never know.

Folks, the self-exclusion thing doesn't matter. He did some bottom-feeder crap, got caught for it, and decided to lose his temper and self-exclude. When he works 72 hours a week and sees his kids and sleeps, he doesn't have time to gamble anyway.

Mission, your ex-wife [edit] seems to be a bit*h[/edit]. Your relationship with your children is in your children's best interests, and in fact, it is in your ex's best interests too. The fact that she isn't letting you use the car to see the children and not lifting a finger for you to better your relationship with them screams b*tch.

If you think that you have a good relationship with her, actions speak louder than words. You gave up your second job to spend more time with your children but lost use of a car. Trust me, [edit] it seems from her actions of late that she will try to f*ck you over at every turn, and these early actions might be a precursor of the possibilities of extreme difficulties in the future [/edit]. Be warned, and take action when you can.

In the end, you need a car to resolve your problem. That's all. You left the house where the rent was free because you couldn't get along. That change in living conditions should allow you to get a break on something from your ex, whether it be the vehicle (even if you sell the Cruiser and by two junkers, it's better than the current conditiions) or a cut of the spousal support.

Quite simply, then, it's a matter of it being for the sake of the children, and you can appeal to your ex-wife's best sense and failing that, perhaps a family member to give you a loan to get your hands on a clunker that you can use to visit your children on the schedule that you had arranged for them, in their best interests.

I did the same thing in the throes of my separation. For some reason, GOOD men think that their exes will be reasonable and they sacrifice at all ends to make the financial sacrifices necessary for the children and sacrifice their lifestyle. I did that -- moved into a $200/month basement apartment and worked my ass off to meet excessive child and spousal support numbers. It took me 12 years to correct that, to get my child support to a reasonable amount and to regain rights to my child. In the end, my kid came around, realized that her mother had been brainwashing her the entire time, and decided that she preferred to live with both of us, equally.

In the end, make every effort to love your children, to be involved in their life and to meet your child support needs. Be there for them. You're worth it, and your children will thank you more than you can ever imagine.

Boy, it seems like you are assuming that she was at fault in the marriage. If mission caused the issues then maybe that is why she is being a b****. I have no knowledge of what happened, just playing devils advocate.

Quote: 1BB

Your self exclusion is very strange. Did part of it have to do with compulsive gambling? Did you plan this exclusion ahead of time or did you think of it after the security guard told you to leave the casino?

Why did you curtail your forum participation? You post from work. Don't you still have use of the computer there?

I hope you get answers to your questions, but this one was the same one that I had.

Quote: GWAE

Boy, it seems like you are assuming that she was at fault in the marriage. If mission caused the issues then maybe that is why she is being a b****. I have no knowledge of what happened, just playing devils advocate.

It doesn't matter *who* was the dick in the marraige, GWAE. The children's relationship to each parent is more important, and given Pierce's situation, if the ex had any shred of decency in her, she would be making arrangement for the children to spend time with the father. The best way to accomplish that is to give him the means to have use of a vehicle. In my books, that makes her a b**ch.

Quote: boymimbo

It doesn't matter *who* was the dick in the marraige, GWAE. The children's relationship to each parent is more important, and given Pierce's situation, if the ex had any shred of decency in her, she would be making arrangement for the children to spend time with the father. The best way to accomplish that is to give him the means to have use of a vehicle. In my books, that makes her a b**ch.

Unless the father is abusive, any mother that actively tries to keep a man away from his children is a royal c*nt. Sorry, not a word I use lightly, but as a person who came from a split marriage it pisses me off to see women who treat children like some kind of f*cking pawn.

The good news about this, at least here in Canada, is that judges generally see through this. Mission you might be able to go to court to get your child support/spousal support reduced due to a change in conditions. In Canada that's called undue hardship.

" In the end, make every effort to love your children, to be involved in their life and to meet your child support needs. Be there for them. You're worth it, and your children will thank you more than you can ever imagine. "

Some things are worth reading twice.

Just paid $50 for my ex-soninlaw's supervised visit, put $10 on his cell phone minutes to call his kids.

My daughter is hardheaded and obstinate. She must get that from Josie's side !

Quote: VCUSkyhawk

it pisses me off to see women who treat children like some kind of f*cking pawn.

It's not clear to me now if Pierce thought she was capable of this. After I suggest he should have one, he had told me he wasn't going to get a lawyer because a lot of thought had gone into this and it all looked cool. His attitude suggested he felt she was trustworthy, not the type.

Ah but when there are kids involved, there's something that happens with women that is hard-wired, and I don't know what you would call it. You could make a case that it derives from a noble instinct, but regardless it has great potential to turn evil.

Her next step, if she is taking the path to "I can't stand this man being in my children's lives", could be so woeful, devistating and painful for our guy here that it hardly bears thinking about. I was reading something somewhere that said false allegations of child abuse are so common in these cases now that the courts expect them and refer to them by acronym [evidently that would be SAID - sexual allegations in divorce, just looked it up]. God forbid this develops!

http://www.deltabravo.net/cms/plugins/content/content.php?content.318
http://www.pathguy.com/abuse.htm

Quote: odiousgambit

Ah but when there are kids involved, there's something that happens with women that is hard-wired, and I don't know what you would call it. You could make a case that it derives from a noble instinct, but regardless it has great potential to turn evil.

No children needed

Just a short term sway of variance, not expected to continue at this pace after all the tracking. Perception can become reality, so I wouldn't put much faith in negativity and worry or the reality feared will become real. Your exwife might just be reacting to something, so figure out what it is. Possibly friends and family are pouring on the Agent146 bashing making things worse than they should. Three months from now, you'll probably be relieved at the situation wondering how you worried so much and everything has passed.