Dumbest reasons people don't pay you back

First of all, I've learned a lesson never to lend money to anyone in a casino. Even good friends can burn you. Luckily, it only cost me 50 dollars but my friends aren't so lucky.

I lent a guy 50 dollars in the Revel poker room in AC(that right there says its a long time debt) and I saw him one day in Taj. I asked for my money and he replies "I just got back from Philadelphia and it's 3AM." What the hell that has to do with anything I don't know.

A scumbag owes my friend 200 and he somehow he thinks because he later lost a 200 dollar pot to him that makes them even. Madness.

Quote: Lemieux66

First of all, I've learned a lesson never to lend money to anyone in a casino. Even good friends can burn you. Luckily, it only cost me 50 dollars but my friends aren't so lucky.

I lent a guy 50 dollars in the Revel poker room in AC(that right there says its a long time debt) and I saw him one day in Taj. I asked for my money and he replies "I just got back from Philadelphia and it's 3AM." What the hell that has to do with anything I don't know.

A scumbag owes my friend 200 and he somehow he thinks because he later lost a 200 dollar pot to him that makes them even. Madness.

That sucks when you lend money to your friend and then he losses it to you and says he doesn't owe you anything.
I would feel very bad about that situation. I lent $20.00 a long time ago but never thought about asking for it back.

The easiest way to lose a friend is to lend money.

Of course, with some "friends", that might be money well spent!

Quote: DJTeddyBear

The easiest way to lose a friend is to lend money.

Of course, with some "friends", that might be money well spent!

My sixth grade teacher (who had lots of life wisdom to impart) had a rule for all friends and family. His rule was that if you really needed money, he would give it to you. But he would never loan a friend or family member money. Recipe for disaster.

Thankfully I've never been in the position of a friend or family member asking for a loan. Other than "oh hey I forgot my wallet, can you cover lunch?" Which happens a lot, and usually gets repayed and it's not a big deal if it doesn't over $10 or whatever.

$200? That's considered a gift.

A poker dealer has owed me money since the grand opening of the Aria, how can he be broke every time I see him? Its not much, but its irritating since I know he has it. He just don't want to give it up or he cant play poker that night. I wont even tell you his race.

One guys excuse was: Well Your friend owes me money.

I'm owed thousands from loans. I love when guys that owe me money are bragging on Facebook how good they are doing. I'm like, oh great you can pay me back now.

I had a guy blatantly lie about something for $80 bucks, he knew he would cost himself thousands and I would stop doing business with him. I gave him a chance to just admit he lost it and didn't he didn't have it. A few years later he tried to pay me back and tell the truth.

Had a friend who owed me a decent amount but kept making excuses. One day he came over to my BBQ with a $1000 new toy helicopter. I didn't want to embarrass him so I let it go.

I loaned my friends dad money a few times he would fix my cars often the last time he told me he paid my sister who was here on vacation during a party. I mentioned it to my friend. My friend said, I don't want to get involved you're my friend and he is my dad, who's side should I take?

the list goes on. A lesson I never seem to learn

I am a big fan of THE judge shows on TV....many of those shows revolve around the repayment of a loan or was it a gift.

The excuse that really is lame, is when one friend is more well off financially and the friend thinks its something the friend shoudl do as a "friend".
It seems sometimes friends think its ok to have their hand in the other friends pocket...if the other friend is "better off" than they are.

it seems they can rationalize not paying as the "job of a friend"....to help them out.

I don't have that problem because I don't lend money. The two or three that I would lend to would never ask in a million years. Several months ago, one of them was in a bind and I sold him a truck for $12,000 to be paid back in six months. This was on a handshake with no money down. I'm pleased to say that he was at my door four months later with the full amount plus $500 interest which I would not accept.

I mentioned in another thread what I have done in casinos when hit up for money. I ask the person how many points they have on their card and negotiate a walk to the store for pennies on the dollar. I've gotten TVs, electronics, designer items and perfume for next to nothing. All this so some compulsive gambler can get back to the tables or slots.

Quote: LarryS

when one friend is more well off financially and the friend thinks its something the friend shoudl do as a "friend".


it seems they can rationalize not paying as the "job of a friend"....to help them out.

WOW, you were in my head, well said


I have often made thees loans out of guilt for just that reason. I have felt a few of them have though, no big deal he can afford it.

If they really can't pay I let it go. When I was young I sure I got a few loans from my father I didn't pay back for years.

BTW, A few of the guys I talked about like the one guy with the helicopter, has always had my back and I know if I needed them for something they would help. Broke down on the side of the road, needed help moving or whatever.

Some guy got in my face while shooting pool one night, MR Helicopter, ran over so fast and grabbed the guy, I didn't know what was going on.

Quote: DJTeddyBear

The easiest way to lose a friend is to lend money.

Of course, with some "friends", that might be money well spent!

It really depends on who your friends are. I've lent money to lots of friends and never had a problem with this, but I also don't trust just anybody.

Quote: DJTeddyBear

The easiest way to lose a friend is to lend money.

"For loan oft loses both itself and friend."

Nothing new about this; you're probably more familiar with the words that come immediately before it -
"Neither a borrower, nor a lender be."

(Side note: here's something else that existed in Shakespeare's time: "If you lose something, drop another version of it near where you think you lost the first one, and they will probably end up in the same place" - it's how the whole mess with Shylock and the "pound of flesh" in The Merchant of Venice started.)

I am lucky that I am to poor to lend money. Glad I won't have to worry about this issue.

Quote: Lemieux66

I lent a guy 50 dollars in the Revel poker room in AC

Interesting question... if the place the loan was made no longer exists, is the debt still valid? Maybe that debt can be attached to the several bankruptcies Revel has filed. You might have to get in line behind the construction workers Revel owes money to.

Quote: ThatDonGuy

(Side note: here's something else that existed in Shakespeare's time: "If you lose something, drop another version of it near where you think you lost the first one, and they will probably end up in the same place" - it's how the whole mess with Shylock and the "pound of flesh" in The Merchant of Venice started.)

I think AP and gamblers are more likely to loan money to people then the average working person. I would bet a very large percentage of AP have loaned people money.

I think non payment occurs because we the lender are sometimes too nice and dont want to seem alouf or better than the other person when we hand over the money...so we minimize the action.
Instead of handing over a 100 dollar bill to a buddy in a casino..and saying "no matter what you need to pay this back....looking him in the eye, and getting a response.

when we are thanked, we minimize the action with.."dont mention it...what are friends for"

all of a sudden there is no urgency to pay it back, all of a sudden there is a small crack to assume falsely that it was a gift".

And then if you press for it....you allow yourself to feel like the "bad guy"....like you are intruding on the buddies life. You allow yourself to feel petty..after all whats 100 dollars in the grand scheme of things....and the buddy knows how to play the "petty and bad friend" card

In my opinion real friends would never let it get to the point where you have to ask. Whether its money, or a borrowed snow blower....they would appreciated the action and prompltly return it or at least voluntarilly come to you and offer a reason for paying back the item at a later date.

Real friends dont borrow money from you and then think back over the last 10 years on how in 2007 he always drove you to their bowling league games, and never asked for gas money, or he drove you to the airport for your honeymoon, and that cost him money.,,,blah blah blaj...using those cases as an excuse not to pay you back.

duplicate...

I've loaned small amounts of money (under $300) to friends, and have asked for small laons as well. Not for years, but every loan was repaid.

Loans with family, though, that's a real headache.

Quote: Nareed

I've loaned small amounts of money (under $300) to friends, and have asked for small loan as well. Not for years, but every loan was repaid.

Loans with family, though, that's a real headache.

There is a very simple thing to remember when making a loan to a friend or family, if you can afford it and you want to make the loan don't expected it back! I've done loans before and we always tell who is ever in trouble, if you can pay us back do so, but if you can't just keep it. It's not worth what you loan to cause the end of a friendship!

I've even made loans to craps playing buddies before and have never been stuck yet! It's all about knowing their character.


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My sister always wants me to give her a "loan".

Finally I told her: "If I am going to give you some cash, it is because I decided to give you the cash, I don't expect you to pay me back."

She would always protest: "Sure, I am going to pay you BACK!"

And I would say: "No, you are not, and it is no longer my problem..."

I leave the guilt on THEM.

Like someone described earlier with "Mr. Helicopter" There is always things they can spend their money on by not paying me back.

SFB

Quote: superrick

There is a very simple thing to remember when making a loan to a friend or family, if you can afford it and you want to make the loan don't expected it back! I've done loans before and we always tell who is ever in trouble, if you can pay us back do so, but if you can't just keep it. It's not worth what you loan to cause the end of a friendship!

I've even made loans to craps playing buddies before and have never been stuck yet! It's all about knowing their character.


...

This is a very good policy.

I'm reminded of an old joke:

One day John asks Peter for a $100 loan, just to tide him over til payday. Of course he promises to pay him back on Tuesday. As Tuesday approaches, though, he's short of cash, so he asks Paul to loan him $100, again promising to pay next Tuesday. Paul does this and John pays Peter.

But again Tuesday looms and John doesn't have enough cash. So he approaches Peter again and asks for a $100 loan.

"Sure," Peter says. "I know you're good for it."

As you can guess, next Tuesday John needs to borrow again from Paul. But as he always pays them both back, even if he takes out a loan again and again, they keep lending to him.

This goes on for months, when John gets both Paul and Peter to meet him together and tells them "Look, Peter, you give Paul $100 this Tuesday, and Paul you give Peter $100 next Tuesday. You both alternate giving each other $100 every Tuesday, and please leave me the hell out of it!"

I love how the person you lent money to gets mad because YOU got mad at them for not repaying you. This happened with Revel guy.

Quote: SFB

My sister always wants me to give her a "loan".

Finally I told her: "If I am going to give you some cash, it is because I decided to give you the cash, I don't expect you to pay me back."

She would always protest: "Sure, I am going to pay you BACK!"

And I would say: "No, you are not, and it is no longer my problem..."

I leave the guilt on THEM.

Like someone described earlier with "Mr. Helicopter" There is always things they can spend their money on by not paying me back.

SFB

Did she ever pay you back?

at summer camp one year, I had left my money in my bunk and didn't feel like going back for it. so I asked my friend if I could borrow a dollar. his response was that he only had 50 cents on him. that was fine with me, since I only wanted a can of pop. a day or two later, he asked for the money back. I said we were even.... he still owed me the other 50 cents from the dollar I asked for, and I owe him 50 cents that he actually gave me. we argued about that the whole day.

Quote: Stoney

at summer camp one year, I had left my money in my bunk and didn't feel like going back for it. so I asked my friend if I could borrow a dollar. his response was that he only had 50 cents on him. that was fine with me, since I only wanted a can of pop. a day or two later, he asked for the money back. I said we were even.... he still owed me the other 50 cents from the dollar I asked for, and I owe him 50 cents that he actually gave me. we argued about that the whole day.

You're wrong but you're clever.

"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."
-Wimpy


I will give money to close friends or family and don't plan on sweating the money from the start even if they promise to pay me back. It's easier that way. However, the catch is, if you ask for more and didn't pay me back, don't expect more money.

I don't loan to strangers.