AZDuffman
AZDuffman
Joined: Nov 2, 2009
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March 8th, 2011 at 4:54:09 PM permalink
Quote: DJTeddyBear


One woman, whom I assume is the mother of a bride, waits for her chance to ask a question: "Do you do weddings?"




In the BJ pit at Sands....

Woman: "Excuse me, is this the casino?"
Dean Martin: "This is the grocery store, the casino is across the street."
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
teeth1
teeth1
Joined: Feb 23, 2011
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March 9th, 2011 at 2:21:58 PM permalink
Were these women, by any chance, blondes?
A gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipes but doesn't.
Croupier
Croupier
Joined: Nov 15, 2009
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March 9th, 2011 at 2:43:13 PM permalink
A slight variation, the stupidist thing I have ever seen is a colleague, when asked by a blind player in our casino "Where are the toilets?" point and reply "over there"

Twice.
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FleaStiff
FleaStiff
Joined: Oct 19, 2009
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March 9th, 2011 at 3:23:29 PM permalink
Social/cultural ignorance.
her: 'Scuse me, can you give me directions to the reservation?
me: Sure, you're here.
her: (pauses, looks around) Umm...where are the Indians?
me: (extends hand and smiles) Nice to meet you.
her: But where are the tee-pees!?
me: No TeePees. Palefaces come, burn teepees, force us live houses. We get revenge now. We make Palefaces lose money. You stay gamble here, me go now.
her: (Stays and Loses Money)
buzzpaff
buzzpaff
Joined: Mar 8, 2011
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March 10th, 2011 at 6:04:39 PM permalink
Who's on First?/ Naturally!!
Nareed
Nareed
Joined: Nov 11, 2009
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March 10th, 2011 at 8:21:34 PM permalink
Quote: buzzpaff

Who's on First?/ Naturally!!



"I throw the ball to first base and Naturally gets it."
"No! you throw the ball to first base-"
"Then who gets it?"
"Naturally!"
"That's what I'm saying!"
"You're not saying that!"
"I throw the ball to first base-"
"Then Who gets it!"
"He'd better get it!"

I've listened to it so much I've just about memorized it :) Only thing baseball was ever good for.

"Just tell me who's pitching!"
"Now, listen. Who is not pitching. Who is on-"
"I'll break your arm if you say who's on first!"
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
buzzpaff
buzzpaff
Joined: Mar 8, 2011
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March 10th, 2011 at 8:33:47 PM permalink
Worked for AT&T and often had to call NY City offices for help. Standard answer to most questions was Third Base
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
Joined: Nov 2, 2009
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March 11th, 2011 at 5:28:05 AM permalink
Quote: buzzpaff

Who's on First?/ Naturally!!



I will always remember working with a girl who had never heard that bit and one dude and me kind of doing it and everytime she said, "who" we would relpy that he was on first. Poor girl didn't know why we were laughing so hard.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
buzzpaff
buzzpaff
Joined: Mar 8, 2011
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March 11th, 2011 at 6:42:54 AM permalink
Only bit even close to Who's on first was Reverend Jim on TAXI taking his driver's test. He was whispering to co-workers " What does a flashing yellow light mean? and they were replying " slow down". All while trying to avoid being caught helping him. Each time Jim repeated the question he slowed down. Finally asking WWWW---HHHHH---AAAA---TTTTT DDDD -OOOO-EEEE=SSSS etc LOL
Anybody got any others. I realize all will pale in comparison to Who's on First. It was even in Rainman. Card counting and who's on first! What a combination
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
Joined: Nov 2, 2009
  • Threads: 219
  • Posts: 11242
March 12th, 2011 at 6:01:06 AM permalink
Quote: buzzpaff

Only bit even close to Who's on first was Reverend Jim on TAXI taking his driver's test. He was whispering to co-workers " What does a flashing yellow light mean? and they were replying " slow down". All while trying to avoid being caught helping him. Each time Jim repeated the question he slowed down. Finally asking WWWW---HHHHH---AAAA---TTTTT DDDD -OOOO-EEEE=SSSS etc LOL
Anybody got any others. I realize all will pale in comparison to Who's on First. It was even in Rainman. Card counting and who's on first! What a combination



I have one like that, and in real life. I was working as a title clearer, our company did 40 or so states. Some states we did not do because of licensing issues, mostly out west. So I get a file from Oklahoma, which I rarely if ever saw. No co-worker could verify if we did files in Oklahoma. So I email my boss, "Do we clear OK files?"

His reply, "Yes, you are doing a good job, why do you ask?"

Later he said he realized what I meant.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others

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