Houyi's AP Asian Airway Apotheosis of Ascending Assonance!
I'm not much of a poster here so I'll give a brief introduction. I'm a professional advantage player who has been grinding out a living full-time in casinos for a few years now. Before I became a full-time AP, I worked for two years in finance in NYC after having graduated from one of those super-mega prestigious Ivy League universities (I know, totally a wise investment of six figs in student loans, right?). I left my finance career after upper management, citing a "tough year," stiffed the junior analysts/associates of our bonuses. Somehow, upper management still got theirs, and while a few of the kinder managing directors made things right with their teams, my MD just shrugged, "You've been doing great work. Next year should be better."
"Yes, ma'am, of course I understand."
I had been APing on the side whenever I wasn't pulling 80+ hour weeks, so as soon as I had paid off my student loans in full and had saved a solid six-figure roll, I left the firm, never to be a slave to business casual and 3 AM emergency calls from Europe again (knock wood).
I've been working since I got my first landscaping gig when I was twelve, and in spite of the capriciousness of Goddess Fortuna, I've never before, in any of my previous exchanges of labor for money, felt like my success has been more tied to my personal effort. Yes, I've gone through absurd downswings through sheer negative variance--I once dropped 80 K in two months of playing games with more than a 10% edge. I've been illegally held against my will and I've had the cops called on me despite having done nothing illegal. Pit bosses have vowed to my face, "You're done in this town. Everyone is on to you." But in this profession, you never have to take the blame for a superior's mistake. You never have to listen to someone scream and rave at you during crunch time of a deal. You aren't billed out at ten times what they pay you. You put in hours, you ride the waves of variance, and you trust the math to eventually work out. You reap what you sow. There's way more merit in what I do now than what I did in corporate America, where getting a promotion is dependent on whose dad works at which client site (too bad my dad didn't work anywhere, though, lol).
I'm in my twenties, so when I'm not looking for games, I'm exploring wherever I happen to be at the moment for cool local bars, good local food, interesting local culture, and fine local womenfolk who are down to clown. I value my profession as one which allows me the flexibility to pursue all of these things. A great instance of this was my recent trip to Asia, which was a way for me to meet old friends and scout new games. I hit up the Philippines, Cambodia, Thailand, Japan, and India. I only meant to gamble in the first two but some gambling went on in all of them. Being a pro gambler is like being the toughest guy on the block--someone's going to try to take you on, and you're going to conveniently be in the spots that allow the thing to go down.
I want to start writing about some of my trips as a way of bringing some new life into my career. I still like being a gambler, but the excitement from the job itself has started to wane and I find myself more appreciative of professional gambling's ancillary benefits such as flexibility and travel. Beating a game is still fun, and there are occasionally new promos or other new things that liven up the grind, but most days are still "scout x hours, play y hours, feel heat, leave, come back another day." Occasionally a big score happens, and those days are cool, but it's just money. I'll always accept more of it, of course, but winning money in and of itself oftentimes just isn't all that exciting when you try to describe it--"Yep, hit quads at MS Stud. 50 K EZ PZ. Sweet."
Cool story, bro.
It would mean something to me if I could share some of the stuff that happens to me along the way. Back in undergrad, I used to love writing. I wrote some plays that got locally performed, I wrote some screenplays for the film school, and what sold everything for me was just seeing an audience's reaction to my creation. As you can see, those days are over and my writing currently sucks. No matter, it will get better eventually, and even if that takes awhile, hearing me get pwned by uber donkey Chinese billionaires for tens of thousands of dollars will probably be at least good for the lolz. I'll probably write up a little story a few times a week. I really hope at least a few people find it interesting enough to comment, but if the thread dies a death, so be it. One day, after I've gone busto from improper bankroll management and wind up back at a soul crushing job of teaching sixty year olds how to hide cells in Microsoft Excel and mandatory holiday parties with people I hate, I can look back at this thread, close my eyes, and think about how, for at least a little while, I did everything I wanted to, whenever I wanted to do it.
Full hearts, clear minds,
Houyi
Just curious because I keep hearing white boys don't seem to do well AP'ing in some countries.
NVM, I see the name and that was a dead giveaway.
Quote: AxelWolfDo you happen to be Asian?
Just curious because I keep hearing white boys don't seem to do well AP'ing in some countries.
NVM, I see the name and that was a dead giveaway.
Part of this is, I think, a holdover from the days where people were card counting in Asia. Most of the card counters back in the day were gweilo, so I'm sure there was some (over)reaction against white guys by the Asian casinos. Nowadays, blackjack on the floor in pretty much every Asian casino is CSM, so you have to arrange a private game if you want a shoe, and that in and of itself might set off alarm bells if you are a foreigner with no history with the Asian casino.
The bigger part of this, that I hope to touch upon in a few of my stories, is that it is, at least in my experience, more possible to beat an Asian casino's marketing department than it is to beat their games straight up. But doing so isn't like in the states where you figure, "Ok, 3 hours of $25 9/6 JoB will give me x mailers." You often will need to arrange a deal, and good luck with that if you are a foreigner who doesn't speak the language.
So it isn't exactly that white guys are discriminated against in Asian casinos, it's that, if you are a white foreigner, you probably won't know what you need to get the money.
Also, IRL, I'm not actually named after an ancient Chinese hero.
Some of the most popular WoV threads involve members who report their gaming experiences, often in Trip Reports. Speaking only for myself, I would probably enjoy reading of your experiences gaming as an AP. You mention that your writing may be a bit rusty, but I would be hard pressed to find so much as a comma out of place in your post(s) so far.
One reminder: A number of WoV members are APs who earn their living as gamblers. The Admins here frown on folks who disclose AP moves because casinos also watch WoV. Casinos delight when someone shows them an AP move they can shut down. So, as a rule, folks don't "out" workable AP moves in public posts. But, you probably already know that anyhow.
You say you'll "probably write up a little story a few times a week" Have you considered doing this as a Blog?
Don't you mean some AP's frown on people who disclose TMI?Quote: LuckyPhow
One reminder: A number of WoV members are APs who earn their living as gamblers. The Admins here frown on folks who disclose AP moves because casinos also watch WoV.
Quote: LuckyPhowhouyi,
Some of the most popular WoV threads involve members who report their gaming experiences, often in Trip Reports. Speaking only for myself, I would probably enjoy reading of your experiences gaming as an AP. You mention that your writing may be a bit rusty, but I would be hard pressed to find so much as a comma out of place in your post(s) so far.
One reminder: A number of WoV members are APs who earn their living as gamblers. The Admins here frown on folks who disclose AP moves because casinos also watch WoV. Casinos delight when someone shows them an AP move they can shut down. So, as a rule, folks don't "out" workable AP moves in public posts. But, you probably already know that anyhow.
You say you'll "probably write up a little story a few times a week" Have you considered doing this as a Blog?
Never going to explain any play in enough detail to take food off anyone's plate. This is still my living as well. But it's good you bring this up--I have seen reports in the past that definitely overshare. Better to be safe than sorry.
Regarding the creation of a blog: I'll see how the audience reaction is on this thread. Right now, this is just a fun little exercise to take the grinding edge off. It's quite possible people won't find what I have to say "blogworthy," and becoming one of those self-deluded noveau-hipsters sipping a venti latte at Buckstars while working on my *serious business* blog is right up there with corporate slavery on my list of "stuff to avoid."
Quote: houyiNever going to explain any play in enough detail to take food off anyone's plate. This is still my living as well. But it's good you bring this up--I have seen reports in the past that definitely overshare. Better to be safe than sorry.
Regarding the creation of a blog: I'll see how the audience reaction is on this thread. Right now, this is just a fun little exercise to take the grinding edge off. It's quite possible people won't find what I have to say "blogworthy," and becoming one of those self-deluded noveau-hipsters sipping a venti latte at Buckstars while working on my *serious business* blog is right up there with corporate slavery on my list of "stuff to avoid."
Houyi,
Welcome back, guy! I'm really looking forward to your posts. Wondered how you were faring. :)
Blogs don't get the exposure here that threads do, and less comments, so I would suggest you do trip report and gaming threads if you want interaction and more readers.
Quote: houyiGreetings friends
It would mean something to me if I could share some of the stuff that happens to me along the way. Back in undergrad, I used to love writing. I wrote some plays that got locally performed, I wrote some screenplays for the film school, and what sold everything for me was just seeing an audience's reaction to my creation. As you can see, those days are over and my writing currently sucks. No matter, it will get better eventually, and even if that takes awhile, hearing me get pwned by uber donkey Chinese billionaires for tens of thousands of dollars will probably be at least good for the lolz. I'll probably write up a little story a few times a week. I really hope at least a few people find it interesting enough to comment, but if the thread dies a death, so be it. One day, after I've gone busto from improper bankroll management and wind up back at a soul crushing job of teaching sixty year olds how to hide cells in Microsoft Excel and mandatory holiday parties with people I hate, I can look back at this thread, close my eyes, and think about how, for at least a little while, I did everything I wanted to, whenever I wanted to do it.
Full hearts, clear minds,
Houyi
Houyi, I an tell by your post that you are a good writer and an intelligent guy with a humble tone and a good sense of humor. Best of luck with your endeavors and I will check in periodically to read your posts. Have you ever considered writing a screen play... or do you feel you are capable of it? PM me and we can chat.
I'm sure he would love to chat about how one can beat -EV games, like craps, using the positive energy, stay well-hydrated, hit and run theory. (-;Quote: WatchMeWinPM me and we can chat.
Quote: AxelWolfI'm sure he would love to chat about how one can beat -EV games, like craps, using the positive energy, stay well-hydrated, hit and run theory. (-;
Don't forget a good nights rest, that is very important too!
Quote: AxelWolfI'm sure he would love to chat about how one can beat -EV games, like craps, using the positive energy, stay well-hydrated, hit and run theory. (-;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8_7Orhey-g
I would never call you a loser and make you cry.Quote: WatchMeWinhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8_7Orhey-g
Quote: AxelWolfI would never call you a loser and make you cry.
Im sorry if I made you cry. Get some thick skin if you want to dish it out Pablo!
I'm not completely satisfied with this one, but as I said initially, it's going to take some time for me to fully get back into the swing of things. I'm pretty sure there are some tense agreement issues, for instance, but I'm more concerned with the content. I am very eager to listen to any and all constructive criticism, so please tell me honestly what you think. Grab some popcorn, grab a beverage, and have a read :-D.
"To Hustle a Hustler"
Authority and I have never seen eye to eye. Strictly speaking, I have no particular antipathy toward authority. I--and indeed, I suspect most people--generally just want to be left to my own devices. I don't necessarily agree with much of our Tax Code, but I grit my teeth and pay for government services I neither want nor use all the same. I just don't care enough to be a rabble-rouser. Yeah, the government at pretty much every level is full of incompetent hacks, but whatever, man. Yeah, cops are corrupt and useless and they didn't stop thugs from burglarizing my mom's apartment half a dozen times when I was a kid (to be fair, though, the bought-and-paid-for government dogs the casino sicced on me got there in record time after I had crushed one of their games). S**t happens, mate. Things just aren't bad enough for me to fight. I don't rely on government to help me, so every morning I pray likewise that it just don't care enough to actively hamper me. The nail that sticks out is the one that gets hammered down.
But it doesn't work that way with me. Authority everywhere and anywhere thinks I'm an anarcho-capitalist ready to tear down everything they've worked so hard to monopolize and imperialize. They just know I'm here to question their rule.
True, I do question their rule, but I keep that s**t to myself. I know it's all a scam, but I don't tell the sheep that. It's like when I find a goldmine of a game--you think I tell the civilians how to beat it? Hell no. But just like the casino suits, government suits just hate the idea of someone who doesn't know their place.
"You'll take 6:5 blackjack, 8/5 Jacks or Better, and diminishing comps, and you'll like it."
"You'll take a lesser justice system for the poor and disenfranchised, government coercion, and civil forfeiture highway banditry, and you'll like it."
It's all the same, man.
So I was hardly surprised when the border guard at Manila International Airport looked me over sternly and barked, "What are you doing in the Philippines?"
"Tourism, sir."
"Hmph." He looked over to my side and then gave me an up-and-down once-over. It was like he was casing me for a knife in my shorts. He just didn't believe me. Why should he believe me? No American ever came alone to the Philippines with good intentions. I'm 50/50 as to whether any foreigner from any country ever came to the Philippines with good intentions. To Border Guard Man, I'd be hitting up the underage brothels and drinking myself into a Charlie Sheen stupor at the go-go bars as soon as I set foot on Filipino soil. Causing him troubles. Making his country worse.
"So where you going in the Philippines? Just Manila?"
"Manila and Cebu."
"When are you going out from here?"
"You mean when am I leaving the country?"
He leaned forward from his booth. "What did I just say?"
"I should be leaving in two weeks."
"Hmph." He stamped my passport. "You can go."
I booked it toward baggage before he changed his mind. There was a problem with the carousel. A particularly small Filipino worker actually went inside of it to see what the problem was.
"Gesu cristo. This is going to take awhile."
Luckily for me, through the wonders of technology and the suggestions of my creep buddies from back stateside, I am well-equipped to deal with any potential lull. I have my new Tinder profile at the ready, and a whole country of lovely foxes, a small percentage of whom will hopefully be bored enough to engage in physical relations with me during my stay in the Philippines.
I pull up my profile for a final review. There's a science to Tinder--you've got to cover all your bases to optimize your chances for semi-anonymous sex. I've got four pictures, four bullets to slay four potential objections I can foresee a potential love interest having before she agrees to spend a night with some douche on the internet she knows nothing about--Corporate Suit Tool Houyi to prove I'm smart and I've got money, Shirtless Boxer Tool Houyi to prove I'm in shape, Jack the Lad Houyi to prove I have actual friends and am not simply a Tinder Incubus, and Halloween Houyi as Capitano Italia, the nonunion Italian equivalent of Captain America. I use the last photo as my profile picture because I like weird girls and I assume they, in turn, like weird guys. Remember gents, it's not who you are, it's who girls think you are.
I throw in a fake name ("Giovanni") and a fake agenda ("To meet new friends and travel buddies"), and I get to swiping. I don't actually look at the photos or profiles of the girls I am swiping right to--no, forget that, man, it's amateur hour. My Tinderholic amici stateside assured me that Tinder is all a numbers game for dudes, which makes logical sense to me. Men live to get shot down by a hundred girls in order to find one willing to get the Slam, Jam, Dodge Ram. It's what finances the entire nightclub industry--thirsty dudes willing to pay absurd cover and drink prices so that they might gain a small chance of having sex so bad it would have been better to have just spent a night alone with Madame Computer and the Monsieur Kleenex Box. So I just keep swiping right, not even bothering to look at my phone as I eventually get my bag and head outside.
I don't immediately see any cabs, so I talk to a police officer outside who points me to an office across the way. Everyone in the office speaks suspiciously good English.
"Hello, my friend, you need a taxi?"
"Yes, I do. How much to get to the Waterfront Manila Pavilion Hotel & Casino?"
"Ah yes, I know that place well." He says something in Tagalog to his associates and puts some numbers into a calculator and hands it to me. "2600 pesos."
I burst into laughter but he remains straight-faced. Straight-faced like how you might look if you saw a blackjack dealer hit his soft seventeen with a four, but, without skipping a beat, took chips out of the rack to pay you anyway. "2600 pesos? You can't be serious. That's more than 50 USD. You realize it's like 10 kilometers away, right?"
The salesman looks down at the counter as he says, "Yes, sir, but the traffic is very bad." Hehehe. Bluffing with the 2-7 off and he knows he's getting called.
"Pick an easier mark next time, you gold-toothed carny."
I stop swiping right on Tinder long enough to order an Uber for $6.50. The office starts yelling to me that they'll go down to 1600 pesos. I shoot a glance at the cop who showed me to the office. He smiles and nods at me. Touché, crooked cop. Off the plane a half-hour and I find out the sucker taxis own the cops in this town. Casinos must have the bloody Marine Corps.
The taxi ride is long and uneventful, so I listen to Metallica and keep swiping right on Tinder. As I am wont to do, I start making up nonsensical lyrics loosely associated with what I am doing at the moment:
"Master of Tinder I search for g-strings,
Swiping right all the time, havin' wet dreams.
Cops on the take, tryin' to con me,
Just call my name cause I'll hear you scream
TINDER
MASTER"
To his credit, my Uber driver gives zero f**ks about how weird, random, and obnoxious I am. I roll up to the Pavilion and am struck by how grimy the surrounding area is. Down the street is a 7-Eleven that appears to be a local hangout for homeless children, ownerless dogs, and strung-out addicts. The hotel lobby itself is fairly upscale, but simultaneously has the appearance of being built in an almost fortified manner. A true-to-life Excalibur.
To the left of the entrance is a night lounge area where a pale, dark haired woman alternates English and Filipino songs. The hotel itself seems to cater mainly to local Filipinos--I'm encouraged by this. I chose this hotel in part because it seemed to be in the downtown area in the center of the action, and because it seemed fairly cheap but not a squalid hellhole. But my more important reason was that I assumed that a "local" casino would potentially be much more exploitable.
My room is ready when I check in, and a friendly bellhop offers to take my bags. I wave him off--I always feel awkward having someone take care of something I should be easily capable of myself. This is why, even though I can easily afford occasional maid service, my apartment back in New York is a feculent Petri dish of dirty dishes and suspicious and evil mystery stains. I'd say this attitude has something to do growing up poor and being able to overlook grimy surroundings and not wanting to have a weird power dynamic over people, but who the hell knows? Maybe I'm just lazy and I don't want to have to tip the help.
My constant Tinder-swiping has left my phone with little charge, so I plug it into the wall, drop off my bags, and immediately head down stairs. I'm ready to scout the casino and hopefully find an untapped Manila El Dorado. I can feel a smug grin draw across my face--no way any APs have found this place. I'm going to be all Cristoforo Colombo up in here, lootin' and plunderin'.
My Genovese swag walk is cut short by the security at the casino entrance. "Sir, I'm sorry, you cannot wear a hat in here."
Ah yes, I forgot to check my US privilege at the door. While the baseball cap is near ubiquitous AP-wear in the land of Krispy Kreme and Chipotle, in pretty much everywhere else in the world, casinos generally have a "no cap" policy. I assumed that since the Pavilion seemed to be more of a local joint, this would be relaxed, but no such luck.
No problem though--I had never been backed off in Asia and, to the best of my knowledge, the Manila Pavilion didn't share information with any American casinos. I took off my hat, nodded to security, and began to continue into the casino.
"Excuse me, sir, you cannot wear..." the security guard pointed to her shoulders as she talked, "a shirt like that."
Ok, so the dress policy also forbade tank tops. This rule was a bit more annoying and unexpected--this was Manila during the summer. It's hot as hell, and to save luggage space I pretty much only packed tank tops. I had a few dressier shirts, but I wanted to keep those in reserve for going out so the cigarette smoke would not cling onto the sweat-drenched fabric. I considered just buying a cheap shirt from a street vendor nearby, but I assumed that my natural stingy, chiseling, mercantile instincts would kick in and I'd waste time haggling with the vendor to give me a local price instead of just kicking in the extra two bucks for the sucker tourist price. And for an AP, it's all about hands per hour. So I ran upstairs, threw a dress shirt and slacks on, and ran back downstairs.
Security Guard Woman nodded and smiled. "See, now you're a handsome boy! Don't you feel so much better?"
Hell no I didn't feel better. I was hot and I was going to wreck a nice shirt with enough cigarette smoke to masquerade as a forest fire. And who the hell did I have to impress in this dump? But whatever, money is money. I find the right game, and I'll just buy a new damn shirt. I smiled back, thanked her for the compliment and entered the casino.
The casino was dark and fairly dingy looking, a pretty stark contrast from the fairly classy-looking hotel lobby. The clientele all seemed to be losing, but they were taking it in the customarily good Filipino spirits, and they still managed to joke and have a good time. I had always admired Filipinos for their optimism--I think I was around four years old when mine died. Constant setbacks out of nowhere and family obligations that needed to be fulfilled had instilled in me a feeling of shikata ga nai (translated from the Japanese: "it cannot be helped"). In a way, I think shikata ga nai is a useful mindset for an AP--as a professional gambler, you are going to be victim to unbelievably horrific, Job-from-the-Bible bad beats, and it is much easier to simply rationalize a loss as, "it cannot be helped" than it is to be actively optimistic about the future. Still, being optimistic certainly seemed like a more enjoyable, and maybe healthier, option.
I headed first to the Blackjack tables--a mix of good and bad rules--early surrender against 10, but you could only double on 10 and 11. Decks dealt out of CSM and no hole card--didn't look like a game for me. Pontoon was the same deal, so I went over to Baccarat, definitely the most popular table game in the casino. I didn't see any interesting side bets, and the dealing procedure seemed solid, so on to the next game--roulette. I had actually made a fairly decent roulette score stateside before I left, so I was optimistic about my chances. But alas, no immediately obvious opportunities there either.
I wandered around the casino a bit, and was either solicited by a prostitute or was legitimately asked out, but I was in money mode. If I could keep things mellow and calm downstairs when a popular female AP in the Northeast offers to exchange services for my lucky seat at the blackjack table, I could definitely hold off on random Filipina girl who may or may not be working.
The last game I found open was a game called red/white, which I believe may be a game unique to the Philippines. It looked fun, like some kind of Dave and Busters game--you drop three ping pong balls into a funnel, which drop into a checkerboard of red and white squares with two special squares. Essentially it seemed like a checkerboard version of roulette. I considered whether there was any way I could drop the ball to have a better chance of hitting one of the special squares for a big payout, but when I saw the bounciness of the ping pong balls, the words that immediately came to mind were "dice control." Disheartened, I slumped away from the table.
I did a walkthrough around the casino looking to see if there were any beatable machines, and when I didn't find any, I looked for the potential working girl who flirted with me earlier, but my streak of finding nothing all day continued. Instead of Colombus, I was more like Leif Erikson--I might indeed be the first AP here, but I accomplished nothing, no one will ever care about me, and I will have no legacy whatsoever.
Manila has several other casinos, but I decided to head back to my room to do some online scouting for the next best possible target and to potentially take a quick disco nap. As I hung up my dress shirt and slacks and sniffed them in a half-hearted attempt to convince myself they didn't reek of smoke, I absent mindedly took a look at cell phone.
"Dio Porco."
More than 200 Tinder matches and dozens of messages. My luck wasn't all bad, apparently.
Quote: RomesEnjoyable read, and a good thread idea for fun stories... Since I'm a younger-ish guy somewhat like yourself, I enjoy reading about all of your crazy filled exploits, such as your tindering and hustling with everyone trying to rip you off (from the taxi to workers). Keep the stories coming =)... but maybe don't name the casinos? Some of us still plan on traveling more and want to find games when we go places too! =P
Thanks for the comment, Romes. I mentioned this before, but I'm not going to be talking specifically about a casino where I actually found a play. When I get to casinos where I find stuff, it will be "Casino X" or something. Since the casino I stayed at in Manila was tight, I don't see any harm in mentioning it. Do you feel differently?
Nope. Sorry if I missed that before about "Casino X". Looking forward to more stories... both gambling and non-related =D.Quote: houyiThanks for the comment, Romes. I mentioned this before, but I'm not going to be talking specifically about a casino where I actually found a play. When I get to casinos where I find stuff, it will be "Casino X" or something. Since the casino I stayed at in Manila was tight, I don't see any harm in mentioning it. Do you feel differently?
You said feedback/criticism, so here's a bit. I'm not an expert, just read a lot. Didn't hate it, but you're right not to be satisfied with it.
I suggest you go back and make your narrator either tell the story in past tense or present. It switches back and forth inconsistently, and that takes me out of the flow to the story.
I don't believe your character, or like him much. I always want to "know" the protagonist, be cheering for him, but here you're fakey, coming off half-smug and half-self defeating, and several comments seem self-consciously false representations. Just be real, and you'll be much more interesting.
It might seem too conventional, but you have a lot of scattered exposition, sometimes shoehorned awkwardly into the narrative as it occurs to you. Maybe collect most of the self-description and reflection into the front third of the piece, then tell the story?
YMMV. Meant to be helpful.
Quote: beachbumbabsThis should be a fun thread, houyi.
You said feedback/criticism, so here's a bit. I'm not an expert, just read a lot. Didn't hate it, but you're right not to be satisfied with it.
I suggest you go back and make your narrator either tell the story in past tense or present. It switches back and forth inconsistently, and that takes me out of the flow to the story.
I don't believe your character, or like him much. I always want to "know" the protagonist, be cheering for him, but here you're fakey, coming off half-smug and half-self defeating, and several comments seem self-consciously false representations. Just be real, and you'll be much more interesting.
It might seem too conventional, but you have a lot of scattered exposition, sometimes shoehorned awkwardly into the narrative as it occurs to you. Maybe collect most of the self-description and reflection into the front third of the piece, then tell the story?
YMMV. Meant to be helpful.
Some great, well-thought out criticism here. Thank you very much.
Yeah, I actually mentioned in the post that I noticed the random tense shift too. Definitely a fair point. I mainly just wanted to get the post out ASAP to see if the content was at all interesting to the readers. I would go back and edit the tenses now, but I can't seem to edit that post (I guess due to its length?).
Lol, not sure how to respond to the second criticism, since the story is autobiographical and the character is essentially just a slightly hyperbolic version of me. Thus, I think most any response might just come off as me being defensive, but I'll try anyway. At least at this very beginning part of the story, I don't need, and indeed, I don't necessarily expect, you to like the protagonist. The fact is, I went on the trip to meet up with some friends of mine, make money/find new casinos, and chase girls. I think maybe the way I explained these things in-story might come off as arrogant or douchey, but it is actually honest--I wanted to make money and hook up with girls, and approached it from a "cast a wide net" frame of mind. As long as I am upfront and honest about that, I don't see anything wrong with that.
As far as the comment about "self-consciously false representations," that is kind of the point. Take the part of the story where the narrator doesn't want the bellhop to carry up his bags, for instance--we all have initial, visceral reactions to certain stimuli. The narrator's initial reaction is, "I want to carry up my bags myself." He then speaks about potential reasons for this--he doesn't like the power dynamic involved, but he acknowledges that he also just doesn't like spending money for things he deems unnecessary. Maybe both reasons are part of his initial, visceral reaction, or maybe one is stronger than the other. The point is, the protagonist acknowledges them both as potentially "true," and then makes a self-deprecating joke at his expense while he acknowledges it. Life is not black and white--people act a certain way and secretly feel a different way. People even often want to trick themselves instead of acknowledging unpleasant truths. Things don't always have a 100% answer. Again, I don't want to come across as defensive, but I don't think the criticism about the protagonist being "fakey" is justified, though him being unlikable I think is quite fair.
The scattered exposition criticism is definitely fair. I'll try for a smoother run next post.
Thanks again for the great feedback.
Quote: houyiSome great, well-thought out criticism here. Thank you very much.
Yeah, I actually mentioned in the post that I noticed the random tense shift too. Definitely a fair point. I mainly just wanted to get the post out ASAP to see if the content was at all interesting to the readers. I would go back and edit the tenses now, but I can't seem to edit that post (I guess due to its length?).
Lol, not sure how to respond to the second criticism, since the story is autobiographical and the character is essentially just a slightly hyperbolic version of me. Thus, I think most any response might just come off as me being defensive, but I'll try anyway. At least at this very beginning part of the story, I don't need, and indeed, I don't necessarily expect, you to like the protagonist. The fact is, I went on the trip to meet up with some friends of mine, make money/find new casinos, and chase girls. I think maybe the way I explained these things in-story might come off as arrogant or douchey, but it is actually honest--I wanted to make money and hook up with girls, and approached it from a "cast a wide net" frame of mind. As long as I am upfront and honest about that, I don't see anything wrong with that.
As far as the comment about "self-consciously false representations," that is kind of the point. Take the part of the story where the narrator doesn't want the bellhop to carry up his bags, for instance--we all have initial, visceral reactions to certain stimuli. The narrator's initial reaction is, "I want to carry up my bags myself." He then speaks about potential reasons for this--he doesn't like the power dynamic involved, but he acknowledges that he also just doesn't like spending money for things he deems unnecessary. Maybe both reasons are part of his initial, visceral reaction, or maybe one is stronger than the other. The point is, the protagonist acknowledges them both as potentially "true," and then makes a self-deprecating joke at his expense while he acknowledges it. Life is not black and white--people act a certain way and secretly feel a different way. People even often want to trick themselves instead of acknowledging unpleasant truths. Things don't always have a 100% answer. Again, I don't want to come across as defensive, but I don't think the criticism about the protagonist being "fakey" is justified, though him being unlikable I think is quite fair.
The scattered exposition criticism is definitely fair. I'll try for a smoother run next post.
Thanks again for the great feedback.
Very welcome. Also appreciate the insight and explanation. In some ways it's better than the story, because you're just talking about interesting things, not putting on a show.
I think you hit on it (re: criticism 2) the "slightly hyperbolic" descriptor. My impression is that a few of the things you said were things you wished you'd said in the moment, slang that doesn't fit your voice (and I assume you picked up traveling the world), putting on personality traits you don't own like an ill-fitting suit. Some of it rings true, and those are the interesting parts.
You can be your best self, but be you. You don't have to be "good" or noble or whatever to be interesting or likeable, just real. Faults and conflicts are interesting. Perceptions of your surroundings and the people you meet are, too. It will be a great story once you strip any pretensions and false notes from it.
I enjoyed (most of) your story. In reflection, I found some wording tripped me up a bit, as your reader. Not sure I want to try to dissect your (generally well-written) text more than that. So, I'll just agree with babs:
Quote: beachbumbabsI suggest you go back and make your narrator either tell the story in past tense or present. It switches back and forth inconsistently, and that takes me out of the flow to the story.
As a suggestion: If a writer reads his/her draft text out loud, that will sometimes identify places most likely to confuse the reader. Places where the text becomes a minefield for the reader will often leave the writer's "tang all tonguled up" indicating an opportunity to improve the text (often by removing some of it).
As an "old guy," I kept asking myself, "Are younger folk really like what you wrote?" because your attitude appeared to me to embrace a "calculated aggression" to life in general. Romes commented that he was pretty much right there with you, which seemed to support that outlook on life. So perhaps that reflects what younger folk are these days. If true, it is a perspective previously unknown to me (but not necessarily good or bad, just different).
I look forward to your ongoing efforts to have WoV members help "polish" text in your stories. IMHO, they are rather unique on WoV.
Thanks again for the comments. Something I don't quite understand though is what exactly you mean by "slang that doesn't fit [my] voice" and "putting on personality traits [ I ] don't own." I'm not exactly sure if you are basing what you feel my personality/voice to be based on the time we met in person. We've met once in person before, but if you recall, that was for about one hour, and furthermore, that was for professional reasons, I.e. To discuss a play. What I mean by this is that you must know that everyone has a "professional face" and a "casual face." I don't think you know me well enough to assume what my "casual face" is. I showed this to people I am close to, and the concensus was, "That's definitely you." If you're basing what my voice should be based on how I write outside of the story, the two are necessarily distinct. I write normally to get my message across clearly and directly. I don't talk that way--or think that way--outside of business because I find it boring.
Maybe you think I am putting on a show when I describe my character dong odd things, but I do actually do odd things just to see the results. I enjoy spontaneity. I'm a weird dude. If I am misunderstanding what your assumptions are, please let me know.
NB: I think I messed up the formatting because there's italicized text where there should not be, but I think it's still readable, so hopefully no big deal, lol
Quote: LuckyPhowHouyi,
I enjoyed (most of) your story. In reflection, I found some wording tripped me up a bit, as your reader. Not sure I want to try to dissect your (generally well-written) text more than that. So, I'll just agree with babs:
As a suggestion: If a writer reads his/her draft text out loud, that will sometimes identify places most likely to confuse the reader. Places where the text becomes a minefield for the reader will often leave the writer's "tang all tonguled up" indicating an opportunity to improve the text (often by removing some of it).
As an "old guy," I kept asking myself, "Are younger folk really like what you wrote?" because your attitude appeared to me to embrace a "calculated aggression" to life in general. Romes commented that he was pretty much right there with you, which seemed to support that outlook on life. So perhaps that reflects what younger folk are these days. If true, it is a perspective previously unknown to me (but not necessarily good or bad, just different).
I look forward to your ongoing efforts to have WoV members help "polish" text in your stories. IMHO, they are rather unique on WoV.
Luckyphow,
Thanks for your comments. Something interesting that you mentioned that I hope you will elaborate a bit on is your comment re: my attitude to life being "calculated aggression." I had personally never considered it as such, but it doesn't exactly sound false, either. Can you describe a bit more what you mean by that?
I'm not sure whether people in my generation share this "calculated aggression," and I don't look to speak for them. My close friends probably do, but that might just be because "birds of a feather flock together." Can you tell me a bit about what you think your generation' s attitude about life is?
Quote: houyiSomething interesting that you mentioned that I hope you will elaborate a bit on is your comment re: my attitude to life being "calculated aggression." I had personally never considered it as such, but it doesn't exactly sound false, either. Can you describe a bit more what you mean by that?
I'm not sure whether or not I can "describe a bit more" what I mean by "calculated aggression," but I'll try by pointing to places where the rough edge in your text (as I perceived it) left me -- your reader -- uncomfortable.
Quote: houyiBeing a pro gambler is like being the toughest guy on the block--someone's going to try to take you on, and you're going to conveniently be in the spots that allow the thing to go down.
So, we meet our hero telling us he's tough, and "someone" is going to take him on. The hero seems to battle each new person referenced in the story.
Quote: houyiIt's quite possible people won't find what I have to say "blogworthy," and becoming one of those self-deluded noveau-hipsters sipping a venti latte at Buckstars while working on my *serious business* blog is right up there with corporate slavery on my list of "stuff to avoid."
Got it. Any who don't like what you write are "self-deluded noveau-hipsters." No wonder folks you encounter sometimes want to take you on.
Quote: houyiAuthority and I have never seen eye to eye. ... I just don't care enough to be a rabble-rouser. Yeah, the government at pretty much every level is full of incompetent hacks, but whatever, man.
I agree there are some incompetent government employees. However, my own experience suggests many government employees work hard to serve the public while the larger bureaucracy thwarts that effort. When I offer government employees the opportunity to demonstrate their competence, I am often pleasantly surprised.
Quote: houyiYeah, cops are corrupt and useless and they didn't stop thugs from burglarizing my mom's apartment half a dozen times when I was a kid (to be fair, though, the bought-and-paid-for government dogs the casino sicced on me got there in record time after I had crushed one of their games).
I applaud your generous effort to be fair to the cops. Ditto my comment about government employees.
Quote: houyiAuthority everywhere and anywhere thinks I'm an anarcho-capitalist ready to tear down everything they've worked so hard to monopolize and imperialize. They just know I'm here to question their rule.
Authority everywhere and anywhere know you're there to question their rule? My take on your text is that those in authority may have pegged you accurately. You don't seem to deny it. But, you've already put us on notice that you are ready for any battle that may present itself.
Quote: houyiBut just like the casino suits, government suits just hate the idea of someone who doesn't know their place.
The hero's nice, friendly attitude continues to leave me scratching my head.
Quote: houyiNo American ever came alone to the Philippines with good intentions. I'm 50/50 as to whether any foreigner from any country ever came to the Philippines with good intentions.
Please feel free to speak for yourself. A little more "calculated aggression" perhaps?
Quote: houyiI've got four pictures, four bullets to slay four potential objections I can foresee a potential love interest having before she agrees to spend a night with some douche on the internet she knows nothing about.
I think it strange you describe your method of wooing a sweetie as using bullets to slay them. After a successful conquest, do you know (or care) if your partner shared your enjoyment? I dunno. Maybe that's what gals expect these days. However, I have my doubts.
Quote: houyiTo his credit, my Uber driver gives zero f**ks about how weird, random, and obnoxious I am.
S/he probably realizes there is no value in starting a fight with customers who patronize the business. Good idea.
Quote: houyiI considered just buying a cheap shirt from a street vendor nearby, but I assumed that my natural stingy, chiseling, mercantile instincts would kick in...
One must always guard one's 6-figure bankroll when deciding whether to buy from a stingy street vendor. Good to know our hero steps away from some battles.
Quote: houyiI had always admired Filipinos for their optimism--I think I was around four years old when mine died. ... Still, being optimistic certainly seemed like a more enjoyable, and maybe healthier, option.
Optimism has always seemed more enjoyable and healthy to me also. I almost thought for a brief second our hero might reconsider a more optimistic approach to embracing the world. But, no.
Quote: houyiThe fact is, I went on the trip to meet up with some friends of mine, make money/find new casinos, and chase girls. I think maybe the way I explained these things in-story might come off as arrogant or douchey, but it is actually honest ...
You succeeded. Whether honest or not, the arrogance -- or, in my words, "calculated aggression" -- comes through loud and clear. Seems you agree. I enjoy the story, but IMHO our hero is a very different kind of person than most I befriend.
Quote: houyiCan you tell me a bit about what you think your generation' s attitude about life is?
Nope. I doubt anything I might say would do justice to the question. So, what's next for our hero?
Quote: houyiHey BBB,
Thanks again for the comments. Something I don't quite understand though is what exactly you mean by "slang that doesn't fit [my] voice" and "putting on personality traits [ I ] don't own." I'm not exactly sure if you are basing what you feel my personality/voice to be based on the time we met in person. We've met once in person before, but if you recall, that was for about one hour, and furthermore, that was for professional reasons, I.e. To discuss a play. What I mean by this is that you must know that everyone has a "professional face" and a "casual face." I don't think you know me well enough to assume what my "casual face" is. I showed this to people I am close to, and the concensus was, "That's definitely you." If you're basing what my voice should be based on how I write outside of the story, the two are necessarily distinct. I write normally to get my message across clearly and directly. I don't talk that way--or think that way--outside of business because I find it boring.
Maybe you think I am putting on a show when I describe my character dong odd things, but I do actually do odd things just to see the results. I enjoy spontaneity. I'm a weird dude. If I am misunderstanding what your assumptions are, please let me know.
NB: I think I messed up the formatting because there's italicized text where there should not be, but I think it's still readable, so hopefully no big deal, lol
Hey, houyi!
I fixed your post for formatting. Hope that's OK with you. The brackets around the small "i" told the post to italicize anything that followed.
I agree that we only met for an hour in a bar, and wasn't basing my critique on that or assuming I now know you, though I very much enjoyed meeting you.
I was trying, perhaps not successfully, to go back and identify the times when, reading your story for the first time, I was distracted by style or content elements that, for me, disrupted the flow of the story or hearing your voice. If I was going to offer any criticism at all, it seemed most helpful to you to be as specific as I could be in targeting particular instances, rather than being general and vague.
Whether reading fiction or biography, I want to be drawn into your world and stay there. I think they call it "willing suspension of disbelief ". I got stopped maybe 7 or 8 times from just living in your head and seeing through your eyes by the things I mentioned above. But if things that left me scratching my head are true to you, by all means, leave them in.
E.g. Your "Any who don't like what you write are 'self-deluded nouveau-hipsters'" comment is clearly misguided. The self-deluded nouveau-hipsters comment clearly refers to a stereotypically self-indulgent NYC blogwriter, I.e. What I don't want to become. I at no point state that those who don't like what I write are hipsters, and I'm not sure how you reached that conclusion.
Anyway, I was perfectly fine taking criticisms to my work, but the personal insults definitely take the fun out of it. So, travel report cancelled, #failolol. I do thank those of you who gave criticisms to the work itself, though. It was fun for a little bit, at least.
Quote: houyiLol, well luckyphow's post was definitely a lot more hostile than I expected. I'd point out all the mistakes in reading comprehension, but just one should suffice, as I think the travel report was a rather poor idea, in retrospect, so I don't think I'll be continuing.
E.g. Your "Any who don't like what you write are 'self-deluded nouveau-hipsters'" comment is clearly misguided. The self-deluded nouveau-hipsters comment clearly refers to a stereotypically self-indulgent NYC blogwriter, I.e. What I don't want to become. I at no point state that those who don't like what I write are hipsters, and I'm not sure how you reached that conclusion.
Anyway, I was perfectly fine taking criticisms to my work, but the personal insults definitely take the fun out of it. So, travel report cancelled, #failolol. I do thank those of you who gave criticisms to the work itself, though. It was fun for a little bit, at least.
I used to have a coworker years ago ( for the record I thought he was a slimy low life, but being a fair person I will always give credit where credit is due. ) and we shared a work station. On that desk was a takeaway coffee cup filled to the top with cement. Engraved in the top of that lid less cup of hard cement was four letters HTFU , you know barrister style. If anyone from another department came in and in the course of business with our department and they would start complaining or start whining etc he would reach over ,without a word and hand them this cup of cured cement. Once in that persons hand he would close that persons hand around that cup and very softly say harden the f##k up.
Keep writing son, if this little set back is all it takes to stop you writing , you’d better give up the card counting for sure. The hipster line is good , you gotta admire that at least. Oh here’s your coffee cup ☕️
Dont give a damm , if a hundred people on this site complaining maybe, but one or two. Huh
Oh what’s the hi Lo count on that ? Here’s another nice hard coffee ☕️ Enjoy.
Kind regards
Merry Christmas
P.s I really wish I could claim the cement coffee as my own idea. Please feel free to use it as necessary, but don’t claim it as your own personal idea. Thanks.
P.p.s remember to serve without sugar .
As a side note re cement cup after awhile we noticed an unusual high number of people come to our department and complain, scream etc. Some of them had no reason whatsoever to interact with our department. We found out after awhile that it became a badge of honour to have been given the cup of cement and staff had begun lining up . So to stop that anyone not known just got the verbal f##koff at the doorway .
Kind more coffee? regards.
Generally, I dislike reading trip reports(especially when it mentions craps), I mostly just skim the trip reports, just in case, there's anything interesting. That's probably only because I have spent many years going to casinos.... winning/losing and encountering all kinds of crazy ass sh*t.
There are some peoples trip reports that I really enjoyed reading. Aceofspades trip reports come to mind, no matter how unlikely his 30 losing hands in a row were. (-;
I'm always going to read reports from the people I know a little better than the average member.
If anything, I'm going to criticize and laugh at how f***ing easy you gave up after reading one member's comments. That can only lead me to believe there has to be way more too the reason you want to give this up so easily. I really don't like that you are almost blaming and individual for decision.
Hell, if I was younger, single, traveling the world while APing with a nice bankroll, I would not even dream of spending time on any forum, unless it was absolutely necessary or I had a specific agenda.
