Joined: Aug 25, 2012
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  • Posts: 5855
September 12th, 2015 at 2:17:07 PM permalink
Day 1 Wed. Aug. 26th: Hertz Hurts! MGM Rolls out the Red Carpet for Her, Not Me.

Thanks to some nice deals on rooms and flights, we ran back to Vegas this summer for the third time this year! This is my 13th trip and the 11th trip for my g/f (I'll call her M). So with these numbers involved, will we be lucky or not? Get ready for tons of beer, tons of VP porn, and tons of the Vegas sights!

First sign of bad luck, next to a woman with heavy perfume on the plane. But I knew we would be okay because Frontier was trying to sell the flight for $39 the day before (we paid $59 bah). So we were able to easily move to the 7th row with an empty seat for us. Flight was pretty uneventful otherwise.

Note, in my writing of VP returns, all percentages include the “gimmick bets”

Sam Boyd Stadium


We go to the rental car center to pick up our car. We got it on Priceline for $120 for 6 days. They gave us Hertz, which I always thought was a good company, but I think I was wrong. First you have to go through a video call to finalize your reservation. I assume they do this so they can drive a harder sell. She tried to upgrade us to an Infiniti when we rented an economy car. As our punishment for refusing, she gave us the car that our economy bookings always threaten us with, but we have never received. The horrible Chevy Spark.

This is a garbage car. Never rent it. It had 29k miles and acted like it needed a tune up direly. It was supposed to get 34 mpg combined. We got 25 mpg and had to fill up it's crappy 8 gallon tank completely. Also terrible triangle shaped mirrors.

I hope to never ride in you again.

We decided to self park at MGM. Yeah, don't do that at MGM. 10 minutes later, we get to the front desk as I keep looking at my watch as I'm scheming to catch the WAX to play in Suncoast's 4/8 dealer's choice game.

We were booked in a West Wing King via myVegas. I made a request for a complimentary upgrade with the intent of giving a $20 if I got a Grand King or better. She says, "Let me get a manager." Crap. Time is ticking away for me to catch the WAX. She comes back and says "nothing is available". I should have asked for an upgrade for purchase I guess (the grand king was only $10 more a night on the website).

At this point I ask if I needed to be there for the rest of the process. I needed to catch that bus if I wanted to play. So I run to the bus. I see it leave 500 feet away while leaving the stop 5 minutes early. I text M saying I missed the bus and was coming back. Well that unintentionally helped us because the front desk lady then felt bad for her. Gave her a pair of buffets for tonight and tomorrow!?!?!

This was our room. Okay enough, but I would have paid $10/nt extra for Grand King.

We never got around to question the front desk about this. Looked like a spot for a peephole/webcam.

She didn't get one of these on our door. :(

Once we checked in, we ran to the pool before it closed. It was alright, but our favorite part, the lazy river, was also closed. They closed it up a bit early, but considering the drunk guy passed out on the lawn chair it might have been a good idea. They had to get security and threaten an ambulance before he would actually bother to get up. Spoiler: I don't get THAT drunk this trip.

Then hit the MGM buffet. Decent for free, but no way we pay more than about $10/ea for it.

Now I wanted to run by Luxor for a bit because it probably was my only shot to play there this trip. First we stop by Tropicana for a bathroom break and bartop check. Place looked nicer than I remembered.

Pics on the way to Trop

Also found a "full pay" quarter game that I had to take a stab at, single line 8/5 DDB with Ultimate 4 of a kind bonus (99.38%). But no quads means $20 goes poof. M hits a bit on Gremlins slots.

Walk on the way to Luxor.

Get to Luxor and belly up to the Aurora bar for the opening beer for the trip, one of my faves, Lagunitas IPA. This trip I tried to use the Untappd app to keep track and take pics of the beers I drank. At Luxor, I forgot to take pics. :( Lagunitas was from a sub par tap (6.2%, 3.5 sips). Hit nothing at Aurora on the 8/5 DDB prog (96.79%+prog), so I move to Playbar for a Sierra Nevada bottle (5.6%, 4 sips). Lose a bit more.

Finally move over to the 9/5 JoB prog. (98.45%+prog) Hit my first quad of the trip. Wrong game though! :(

Now head back to MGM near even and hunker down for the night.

I was able to grab a seat at Whiskey Down and grab a Dogfish Head 60 Min. IPA (6%, 4 sips).

Then I run back to M and she is hot on Double STP, if I knew these hits were coming, I would have told her to play DDB instead of 6/5 Bonus (97.36%; 96.92% 6-coin)!

Opens with a 5X quad!

7s again!

I was doing the exact opposite at 7/5 Bonus Quick Quads (98.29%) right next to her. Best that I could do.

Where was the 4 dammit???

Day 2 Thurs. Aug. 27th: Gold Coast is Golden, Cursed Cosmo Pool, and Fremont Frenzy!

That was a lot of alliteration there. Anyway, I can't sleep, and I'm up posting on VMB at 7:45am. Maybe I could have done semi-live after all! M didn't get up until 2 hours later and we rushed off to redeem three other myVegas rewards. Aria lunch buffet for 2, and $25 FP at MGM for each of us.

Some pics on the way to the Aria:

View of room

Things on the way to the bad parking garage.

Las Vegas Arena progress

To redeem the Aria buffet (which we planned to eat tomorrow) we park at MC garage so we can eat the delicious "Original Chicken Tender"! Unfortunately I was starving. See Royal Flusher's report for that food porn!

I get a message from jasonargo from VMB saying he'll be at the Gold Coast for the 40X point multiplier that afternoon. We let him know we'll be there by 1pm. We make it a bit early and I get a hold of him on the phone after blowing about $20 at 9/6 DDB w/STP (99.26%). He says he is by the south bar.

Well I don't process South well indoors apparently because I walk the floor a few times before actually finding him! D'Oh! Once I found him though we had a real nice chat, and eventually wondered over near the red zone bar to meet M. While we were chattering away about VP stuff, she was able to hit this from one card to help her cause.

Unfortunately time was ticking away, so we said our goodbyes for now, and I started on racking up the rest of my points.

I continue on a downward slide. 9/6 JoB (99.54%), Not So Ugly Ducks (99.73%), nada. Down $50 with less than $200 coin in. Crap. I decide to go back to STP, and I'm glad I did.

After that, M and I try the full pay games nearby for a bit. Nothing pic worthy, but full houses and flushes abound on 9/6 Jacks continuing the upswing.

I'm a bit thirsty now and take her to the red zone bar for a couple of beers. I get a New Belgium Fat Tire (5.3%, 3.75 sips) and she gets a Rogue Dead Guy (6.5%; 3.75 sips cold; 1.5 sips warm). I don't recall that much variance with Dead Guy, but I noticed it when she wanted me to take over her beer. Again no beer pics because I suck with that app.

M got this to keep her rolling...7s again!

I on the other hand kept hitting boats and flushes to grind up points and keep winning. Eventually I stop and find M at a nearby bank. I finish up my 400 pts there on 9/6 JoB or so I thought. That unit paid 239 for the SF (99.52%). Odd for quarters.

Complete my $400 coin in up $50, so now I try to help M out. That's when the doom switch turned on again. Lost about $35 of that in maybe a little over $100 coin in. D'Oh.

Now it's almost 3:30 and we wanted to head over to Cosmo to spend some time at the pool. On Mon.-Thurs. Identity members are allowed to use the pool, so we did.

We also learned we love this garage. Red/green lights to signify available parking spaces as well as compact parking spaces near the front. Those were very useful with the crappy Spark!

Before hitting the pool, I attempt to try a Verbena because i read a report that it was compable before 6pm. Bartender denied this. Never mind, not paying $16. Hit the pool, love it, and I typically care less about pools! Spend almost 2 hours there, a record for me!

Some pics

Bye bye Harmon tower

So now it's getting late and we want to eat our other MGM buffet and hit up Fremont Street.

So I go into a bathroom stall to change, and clumsily drop my Mizzou logo watch about 4 feet that I got Christmas 2008 and it lands face down on the tile! Dammit!!! I turn it over and see the second hand moving and the face isn't cracked or scratched. I breathe a sigh of relief.

Get back to MGM and eat. Last night was better. Worth "free" but that's it. Now M wants to quickly hit the North Outlet Mall before it closed. We do and I start clock watching as it was approaching 9pm. As this point I decided to actually use my watch instead of my phone. As I twist my wrist quickly to read the watch. I see the minute hand move 5 minutes. Try it again. Same thing. It did break!!! :(

Now I'm a terrible mood. M is trying to calm me down and says we'll fix or replace it, but I feel like an idiot for dropping it to start. Was tempted to skip out on Fremont altogether, but realized she hates that place too, so this is really my only shot at it.

Finally get to MSS about 9:15 and jasonargo was at Boar's Head. We had another good chat and his happy go lucky attitude cheered me up. Eventually got on the seat next to him, but neither of us could pull off a scratcher. :( Also had a couple of Marker Pale Ales (5.6%; 4 sips).

Eventually move on to the Cal to try my luck at 8/5 Treasure Chest (99.56%). No chests but up 10 bucks in 10 minutes. Try the "Big Bang Theory" there too. Sucked away $5 in near record time.

Move on to Binion's for a pic of the million. Then I run off to Golden Nugget and Four Queens. Bartenders seemed anal about service at GN and I only found 6/5 Bonus (96.87%) there so I moved on top 4Q, but not before I took a pic of the pool area to show M.

Move to 4Q hoping for Chicago Brew Co. IPA, but had to settle for the amber ale (4.5%; 3.5 sips)

Hop over to the D. See Derek Stevens at the Long Bar chatting a bit. I should have complained about him getting rid of all the coindroppers upstairs, including the cranky 17/10 Loose Doose (101.6%), RIP old friend.

See a Lagunitas tap at long bar. My poor vision thinks it's the IPA, but I was mistaken. It was their Pilsner (6%; 3.5 sips).

Head upstairs and see that M is already at Sigma Derby.

I watch her play a bit and then move over to Vue Bar for 8/5 Bonus (99.17%+prog.). Get a Budweiser (5%; 3.25 sips) Yeah, hit nothing. Lose about 15 at D.

M is running out of steam, but I quickly drag her to Fremont for the Filament bar followed by full pay pickem. The bar is nice but mostly shit games (except 97.69% Double Bonus Deuces) and craft beers NOT compable (I got another Bud), they can go screw themselves. 99.95% Pickem was unkind. Lose another $20 altogether.

Get back to MGM. My hopes are for another Dogfish Head. That didn't happen. Bar was packed. And by the time a seat opened up, Whiskey Down was closed at 1:30! 1:30?!?!?! WTF!!!

So I get more Sierra Nevada's at the Lobby Bar. Get chatted up by this drunk chick named Amy. I'm worried she'll keel over at any point. Eventually her more sober SO came by wearing a Astros shirt, so we chatted about baseball for a bit. But I really needed to get back to M with her water. Well apparently a waitress did show up for once while i was gone.

We play through our free play to little avail. This is the best either of us could do.

Day 3 Fri. Aug. 28th: Better than BeeeJay Memorial Row! Nathan Burton..meh Getting Crafty at M Resort and TAG. A “Wacky” Streak Comes to an End!

I wake up early again. Arghhhhhh. We get going a bit early as I was informed the MGM Sigma Derby was alive and well. We shared an elevator with someone that reeked of weed. Our floor was non-smoking, bro...

Get down to the Sigma Derby, but alas, didn't win a damn thing. I dunno which pick we had here but it didn't

Go to check out. Was a mess, so we decide to check out express. Relatively painless.

Make a quick detour to Excalibur for some “Fun Dungeon Play”. The main thought was to see if “Crazy Taxi” was there. It was, but the chair and the gas didn't work so hot.

Also saw this... and since it had M's hometown team, the Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks, I suggested she played me. She beat me 3-2 in overtime...whoops.

Now run off to Aria for the buffet via myVegas. Once again, good. Our waitress not so much. On our Coke refill, we asked for 4 instead of 2 to save her another trip. Much better than what we dealt with later though. Again fail on the food porn, but I did take a view of the pool from the buffet.

Now bolt directly to Beeejay Memorial Row 802, see one of the 8/6 Bonus Deluxe's w/DSTP (98.99%) open and shove in a $20. Nothing special, but it lasted about $50 coin in before disappearing. M, who is much smarter than me, found a better machine. A gigantic All Star II poker unit, between the back of the poker room and the Monte Carlo monorail entrance. She played her crack of choice 9/5 DDB w/DSTP (98.37%) for nickels?!?!?!

Nice 11X multiplier.

M's first spin on this slot; she hits the mini jackpot!!

And could it be...YES!!! 8/6 Bonus Deluxe w/DSTP (98.99%) for nickels!!! The highest return game I have ever played for nickels on the Strip!

Why couldn't this come on quarters though! :(

Unfortunately we were running a bit short on time and wanted to check into our room at the Linq. We try to hint at we would take a king, but no dice. We tell her our must needs, quiet, non-smoking, no adjoining door. Do we get all those? Nah. Immediately go back downstairs, receive a room 7 rooms further down with no adjoining door. Then M comments that the room smells like old man... argh. I didn't want to move again, so we find a housekeeper, she sprays more deodorizing spray and I give her a buck. Now it's about 3, and we had a Groupon ($7 each) for Nathan Burton to use. So we figured this was the best chance for us to use it.

Get there about 3:45, and see that there is a huge line already for General Admission. We got a decent seat. Show was okay, but he did too many disappearing tricks. His wife Amie, an assistant, is pretty hot. Likely his greatest magic trick...:evillaugh

Show was a full 90 minutes, and at the time, I was scheming to do some other things. Possibly meet up with VMB member Stevie D, and possibly play 6/12 mix poker at Wynn. Unfortunately, Stevie's friends were terribly late, and as for that mix game, I really didn't want to play at Wynn, and for those stakes after my relative ass beating so far. So plans turned to South Outlet Mall, Dinner, and M Resort.

M finds a Vera Bradley bag she likes and she eats Chipotle, while I get Smashburger in this usual spot with the incredibly affordable Joseph James Hop Box Double IPA ($3.50; 4.25 sips; 9%). It was all delightful.

Dusk from the Smashburger parking lot

Head on out to M Resort and I have a hell of a time at the 32 degree bar. Plenty of great beer, and somehow double my money from $20 to $40!

Beers consumed (12 oz each):

Brooklyn East IPA (6.9%; 3.5 sips)

Ninkasi Vanilla Oatis Stout (7%; 4 sips)

Moa Imperial Stout (10.2%; 4.25 sips)

Ballast Point Grunion Pale Ale (5.5%; 3.5 sips)

And this is the biggest hand I hit on 98.91% Deuces for the $20 win:

While playing, the guy next to me has the wife take over. She hits a quad. Well, apparently any quad there gives you a drawing entry. But she didn't notify the bartender. Afterward, he had a slot tech bother to verify the quad. So if you ever do anything crazy like toss a quad, call a slot attendant! You might get paid!!!

Get back to Linq, and we hit the pool for their late night swim (Fri./Sat. from 8p-12a), pretty cool experience, and their soaking tub was decently warm. Meet some cool people while checking it out; we actually stayed til closing!

Now I finally get to enjoy the nectar that is TAG Lounge.

My opener: Firestone Walker Pale 31 (4.9%; 4 sips)

Hop on or Die IPA (6.8%; 3.25 sips) Bottle was better than beer.

Dale's Pale Ale (6.5%; 4 sips) Balanced Pale Ale/IPA

And to wrap up at TAG...Green Flash Hop Head Red (8.1%; 4 sips)

In the background of this pic is my bartender for most of the trip, Stan. If you see him, try to get him to take care of you. Nice guy and does things efficiently. If he's not around, Heather, a cute redhead in glasses, is also very good.

My TAG highlight of the night...bah

M moves over to the penny poker units for 7/5 DDB w/STP (95.98%) and hits this:

and 4X 4s for $16 on her last bet!!

Although I was nice and toasty at this point, I was quadless at TAG. So I join M at the penny 50/100 play STP on the floor. Paytables generally aren't good, however for 50/100 STP, many casinos offer a 5600 credit royal for deuces wild games only. Why? No real clue. But this makes deuces the best choice between those games at 97.00% for most of CET Vegas. I begin to play for my traditional flea bet of 36 cents. In the past, I have also played this “wacky” royal game at Ameristar St. Charles and Tunica Roadhouse with the intent of hitting that wacky $56 royal. Well...I yearn no longer.

Wacky $56 Royal hit!!! :D Wacky $56 Royal hit...:cry: That's how I felt. My nearly 3 year royalless streak was now over. But I am still waiting for my first ever nickel royal and higher. Very conflicted on feelings. The one thing it gave me though, the adrenaline to keep drinking/playing. M lets me off the hook for a “celebratory” beer (standard for any Royal I've hit). Go back to TAG, and my celebratory beer is a Lagunitas Little Sumpin' Sumpin' (7.5%; 4 sips).

Unfortunately, I bleed away more at the bar. And this beer really sent me over the edge. Pretty drunk now. I do random things like check the live BJ table status, and the e-table BJ.

10-card Charlies win!!! It's theoretically possible!!!

At least they give you strategy for this crap 6 to 5 game:

Stumble to bed way too late...

I hit a Royal and possibly won for the day!! ;)

Still down overall though...:cry:
Joined: Aug 25, 2012
  • Threads: 8
  • Posts: 5855
September 12th, 2015 at 2:18:40 PM permalink
Day 4 Sat. Aug. 29th: Full Moon Chaos!!! Red Rock Fail. South Point Substitution. MGM Pool. Camelot Steakhouse. Untriumphant return to Camelot. Tapatalk Fail.

Yeah, the high I got the night before from the “wacky” royal was going to crash today.

Our plans were fairly etched today, and they partially fell apart.

The initial plan was to eat Red Rock Buffet via myVegas.

Pics to/from Red Rock:

But when we got there, we saw a sign for a free buffet if you earn “100 points” ($100/$200 Slot/VP coin-in). Therefore we saw this:

So I suggest to go to South Point instead for their deli, because I didn't want to wait in that line, but M sounded like she was willing to wait in the line for me! If my stupid brain would have registered that...I would have been okay to stay...bah

Both unhappy in the car, we get to South Point, and the salami sandwich she ordered previously that we both liked apparently came in “soft” and “hard” versions. We order the wrong one...crap. It was good, but not as good as the other one.

9/6 Bonus Deluxe (99.64%) was trying to keep me sane at the bar with a Fat Tire:

Then quickly run off to 8/5 Bonus w/DSTP (99.67%) and hit these to escape up $10:

After awhile, she feels better, but I was a bit under her control since I screwed up.

She wants to go to Circus Circus for souvenir shopping and I oblige.

I hoped to squeeze in some Aces & Eights (100.25%+prog.), but both banks of 8 were full!!! So I abstain from gambling and try to enjoy this:

The clock is ticking unfortunately, and I hoped to meet Stevie D before 5 at NYNY. But that just wasn't going to happen it seems. :( We both agree we should both try to meet fellow member VegasChic at the same time. So now we just go straight to the MGM pool instead.

Sign on the way to the pool that fits me...

Pic of MGM pool

Again they close the Lazy River early, and M wants to spend a little time in the hottub. But we needed to go to Camelot Steakhouse and try to meet a WoV member afterward at 8pm. Really tight.

Yeah...time eats away. We don't start eating at Camelot until 7pm. Fortunately, the WoV member I planned to meet was a bit flexible, and was okay to meet at 830pm.

So we sit down to a nice dinner at Camelot Steakhouse with a $50 off coupon via myVegas.

My Drink: Stone IPA (6.9%; 3.5 sips (bottle was dated))

Pics of the food:


Caesar Salad:

Her Steak with sides to share:

Glad was able to push back the meeting...definitely took 90ish minutes. Steak wasn't as good at Tender, but the sides were 30% cheaper at least. Still worth $50 off, imo.

Meet up with him in the “Fun Dungeon”, and M gives a brief hello before going back to MGM. Why the Dungeon? He's also a “Crazy Taxi” enthusiast! However, that machine was throwing fits and we both didn't do well. He notices a converted “flip-it” machine in the dungeon, and thought it gave back money...until I reminded him where we only, man. haha We then found a few other games to play to bring us back to younger days. After that we go up to the Lobby Bar to chat and have a Sierra Nevada. It was great to catch up with you again after 2 years! And thanks for covering my $5 loss since we locked most of our cash in the rental car....foreshadow future annoyance.

Pic M took on way back to MGM

Her best hit:

Go catch up with M at MGM Grand, and we go back to Linq to hopefully catch the rest of the “night swim”. Linq garage is such a mess that we park at Harrah's. Well, security at the pool entrance asked for ID. I look in my wallet... and look... and look...CRAP!!! No ID. Now we're freaked. Go back to the room and brainstorm. Fortunately M remembers exactly when she give gave me my ID. At Camelot, just in case I got carded for a beer at the bar. So we call Excal, and thank God, they have my ID at security. I debate on whether we should bother to get it back at 11pm on Saturday, especially since people at TAG Lounge “know me”. But we play it safe, and go get the ID. She double parks and I go to Security, which is on the gaming floor with a huge judge's desk. The chick before me recovered a phone, so she was pretty lucky too! Get my ID and go back to Harrah's to park. Whole ordeal takes an hour with using side streets! :(

I inform VegasChic of this detour, and hope to meet up with her and her party later. But unfortunately for that night, Tapatalk was failing big time that night. Our messages were over an hour delayed to each other. :( We end up going to Bellagio because M wanted to see the conservatory, so we did.

Walk to Bellagio from Linq:

Paris/PHo/Cosmo from the Bally's/Bellagio overpass

Bellagio from the overpass with clouded full moon

Conservatory: Sea theme

The turtle in every display...

Bellagio Sand Castle:

Take a stab at 8/5 bonus Deluxe w/DC for one line (98.11%), but I get quads on the bottom line...blah

M doesn't hit much either and we move back to Linq for the night.

The bartender I snapped in a pic earlier, Stan, was scheduled to be there til 4am. And was going to take care of me for sure.

Beer Heaven!

Open with an Oskar Blues G'Knight at 2 am (8.7%; 4.25 sips)

Next Joseph James Citra Rye (5.4%; 3.5 sips)

Now it's after 3, the bar has died out, and he basically stops serving for the night, except me. LOL

Squatter's Hop Rising (9%; 3.25 sips)...if you like pilsners, this is for you though, and love the bottle

And finally to ensure being drunk...
Firestone Walker Union Jack IPA (7.5%; 4.25 sips)

Quadless at TAG again though! :(

M hits Aces on pennies... :( I could have used those at TAG!

She can't pull of the Royal I got...

Then I stumble along again for BJ conditions and more penny deuces hands. This time I see a $15 min 3 to 2 table after 4 am, but it broke up before I went to bed.

Last penny deuce pic at 5:01am...yes, I'm horrible.

Extra Horrible...Morning Caesar!

Day 5 Sun. Aug. 29th: Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler! Bad Times at Spice Market. Cosmo and more beer at TAG!

Get up to check out of the Linq to later move to the Gold Coast. While M waited in line to check-out, the degenerate in me wanted to inquire if I could wager on the Little League World Series Championship. Answer No. At the time of this writing, I still dunno who won (apparently Japan beat PA 18-11, wow). I bet the “hometown team” instead. As the late, great, Jack Buck would say, “That's a Winner!!!”

Now run off to Orleans because like the Gold Coast, they also had a 40X multiplier until 4pm.


My session went very similar to the Gold Coast. Start off like crap. Here are the two beers I drowned my sorrows in.

Stone Arrogant Bastard (7.2%; 3.25 sips – bad tap)

Alaskan Amber (5.3%; 2.5 sips – bad tap)

The tap issue may also explain why I didn't like Coronado Islander IPA or Tenaya Creek Hop Ride there in the past either. May have to stay away from drinking there, unfortunately.

But while drinking these, I heated up. First quad since Wednesday?!?! And 3 quads in 45 minutes!

Poor guy next to me couldn't hit the side of the barn though. And the guy on the other side, a truck driver from Iowa was a bit of a character. He walked all the way from Wild Wild West (where he stayed) to chill at the bar, drink, and play some keno.

Eventually I moved on because I wanted to scope out the Mardi Gras Bar, where I confirmed 9/6 DDB (98.98%) for quarters, which is great for most players since it's DDB or nothing. Also 9/6/5 DB w/STP (98.08%) for as cheap as nickels! Also for the one unit I checked in detail...I stumbled another likely erred bartop at $2 spin poker.

After all the checking, I settle in for 8/5 Bonus (99.17%) with a Guinness (4.3%; 4 sips). The home stretch was brutal, went from up $40 to up $20.

On the way to the bathroom, I see another giant machine, this time Ultimate X only. I check the paytables, and I can't believe it. Full pay 8/6 JoB (99.42%) for ten play nickels! I was done with my grinding, and didn't think about getting M some more points, so I play just two hands to say I've played it. If I saw it earlier that could have been a dangerous ride. Hand one to make multipliers, and hand two to play them off. Unfortunately hand one sucked (lost $4.50). Here was hand two.

Unfortunately M didn't do nearly as well. Stopped at about 120 points down nearly $30. :(

Now it was close to four, so we check into the Gold Coast. Not a shabby room, but bad curtains that will blow back the a/c if you don't rig the setup with something like clothespins. Took awhile for our room to cool off.

View from Room

The sad pool area

At this point M was a bit tired. I have also been running on roughly 4 hours of sleep a night since Wednesday, so we decide a nap was in order. We slept pretty well. Neither of us were moving very quickly when we awoke, but we knew we needed to eat dinner, and utilize another Groupon for Spice Market Buffet.

Finally get to the “inner bowels of hell” (aka Gold Coast parking garage) near 7pm. 117F...47C according to the nicest feature this terrible car has.

Valet at Ballys to be centrally located.

Step into Ballys to check out a few things, including the VP while M went to the gift shop. Found something depressing, a new low for game kings. For years, the lowest I have seen in a US Casino was 94.18%. Seen it in several places, but never was it lower. This is no longer the case. For shame, Gary Loveman...FOR SHAME!!!

7/5 Double Bonus (93.11%)... and max bet $10!!! LMAO

And even worse...20/10/8/4/3/2 Deuces (91.42%) WTF?!?!?!?! Someone got suckered in with a max bet though apparently...

All this being said, I did find some decent things. Like 6/5 Super DDB (97.69%) for 10 nickels. Or 7/5 Bonus (98.01%) and 7/5 Super DDB (98.61%) on the dollar progressive. Also saw a couple from CT looking at paytables. They haven't been around Vegas for 4 years. I gave them some tips on where to go to possibly save them some time.

Check Disney Fine Art, find nothing good. Then walk to Spice Market to eat.

Shortest line we have ever seen, still took 18 minutes for us to be Now the Groupon also includes “all you can drink”. We would never pay for this, but if it's free, might as well indulge in it. M wants champagne and a Mountain Dew. I want a Bud and a Mountain Dew. Drinks would be a huge issue. Drink rant below.

First issues, Mountain Dew is flat, and champagne is too warm for her. So we try to get her to fix these things via ice, and possibly Mountain Dew from another tap. So she does those things, but takes over 5 minutes because she is slow and can't keep up with her assignment. Mountain Dew is still flat, so we suggest she tell someone. Does she? No. M switches to lemonade, which is also godawfully warm. So she needs more ice. I just drink the flat Mt. Dew. But anytime we need something from her, it takes over 5 minutes. And you can look at her other tables and people are displeased with the lack of service by their expression. And when people leave without tipping her, she has a really annoyed look. But she should be realizing WHY people aren't tipping her!

The man in the next section over is keeping up, but I'll admit, he was running his butt off! So they were also definitely understaffed. And with this Groupon people will be working the waiter/waitresses harder. But this super slow service adds at least 15-20 minutes to our meal, and for the first time in God knows how long, we tipped a penny. Maybe if she would have said “sorry" once or twice, then we might not have done this. Food was nothing to talk about. Highlight was a crepe made with nutella.

Also we wanted to bring this to the attention of the manager since we did pay for this drink service. He profusely apologized, and wasn't informed about the soda carbonation. Since it was a groupon, he couldn't give us our money back, but was quick to offer free buffets to “give them another chance”. I'm about buffeted out at this point, but hard to turn down free. So we accept. And guess what, that soda was fixed by tomorrow!!

So now we run off to Cosmo to play for a little bit as we hadn't really played there much.

Worst videotaped Britney Spears bonus ever. I try to switch hands to be smoother. Finish taping the the thing upside down. Can you tell I don't do this much?

Nothing special at Cosmo. Drank two Sculpins at Bond and Queue Bar (7%; 4.25 sips)

Deuces Wild! M's cashout ticket at 22:22:22

One quint playing 98.91% penny deuces...I needed more deuces off that ticket!

Lucky cat gives us nothing to note either.

Now walking back toward TAG Lounge

Get back to TAG, Stan isn't there, but Heather takes care of me instead. Ask about Swami IPA...but nope they're out. :( But she was willing to comp me a pint of Lost Coast Double Trouble IPA (7.6%; 4.25 sips) as it was near the end of the month and they were going to switch out the taps. Very tasty!

I think I did something dumb and order another Sculpin after that. I dunno why I did that, I would have more of that tomorrow too. Unfortunately, no quads at TAG... again. :(

Take some of that Sculpin to go in a plastic cup (never did this until now; I'd actually finish before moving), and go back to Bally's to drive back to Gold Coast.

Taxi getting towed:

Belly up to the Gold Coast bar and see they still don't have Dale's Pale Ale, so I'll settle for Fat Tire. Play on my card beyond 3am, and noticed my point count reset. Oopsie.

Where was this when I played Quick Quads at MGM?

Actual Result

It might have been drunken math, but no quads, but I don't remember losing much there. Maybe $20? As the night went on, I wanted some water, so I go back to the bar and ask for some. But dude said he had to charge me $1/ea if I don't play. I said I could play, but he insisted to not worry about it. But still a little petty. I know, I's their job. I splurge $5 on the slot “Price Check”, so maybe closer to $30... Losing track...exactly what the casino wants.

Pics from the room...Night Vegas!

Day 6 Mon. Aug. 31st: Rally Caps! Cosmo Pool, Rampart, Aces and Ales, “Frank Marino's Divas”, and More Midstrip

Get up early to hit up the Linq box office before going back to the Cosmo Pool.

Someone likes glitter...

M found a coupon for “free” tickets to Frank Marino Divas after a $16/ticket box office fee. Then run to the Cosmo Pool, one problem. I forgot to bring swim trunks. Idiot. So change plans and eat the Spice Market re-do earlier. Soda was right, service was a total 180, and they actually had Tandoori Chicken for the first time in awhile for me! So, the manager did make up for it!

Then we run back to Gold Coast, and I switch into swim trunks. Enjoy Cosmo for another hour, and we decide to get moving so we can check out Rampart for the first time, along with a dinner Groupon for Aces and Ales. This time I forgot my boxers at Gold Coast...Jesus. Go “commando” for a few hours. Also drop my portable charger on that unforgiving tile. I'm a mess. Leave at about 4, and probably good thing we did. Traffic on I-15 north and US 95 was building up.

Get to Rampart. A flea's paradise. 6/5 Bonus w/DSTP (97.36%), 8/5 DDB w/DSTP (97.28%) for pennies! Hot Roll was also as cheap as 2 cents. My first few Royal scares after my Royal...

Can I switch some cards around?

Waitresses seemed to not exist though. Hit up the bartops for a check. 9/6 JoB (99.54%) and other good games. Also was able to get a Lagunitas IPA in a bottle at the bar (6.2%; 4.25 sips). Much better than the last one I had at Luxor; what a West Coast IPA should be.

Unfortunately, no hits at the bar, so we move on to the main reason we stopped by. To play “Cash King Checkers”. I've always liked this game, but it didn't last more than a year in most casinos and I haven't seen it in more than a decade. If you have flash player though you can play it with a 100% paytable for free at

The object is to jump as many black checkers as possible with your red kings. The black checkers are placed at random. Occasionally a gold checker appears and if you jump it, you get to go to a prize selection bonus game.

Unfortunately this is the closest I got to the bonus at the nickel level (96% paytable)...Blocked! :(

Unfortunately, my $8 was getting eaten away and I still wanted to try to see a bonus, so I moved down to pennies (94% paytable :()

Biggest many do you think I can jump?

Unfortunately, didn't last.

Now it's close to 6, and want to hit up Aces and Ales for dinner, and beer!

Split a Sausage Pizza and Beer Cheese Soup. Soup was decent, forgot a pic before it was too late.

Pizza...meh. It was actually a bit underdone. Crust was floppy.

Their digital beer board

I chose to drink a Dogfish Head American Beauty (9%; 4.25 sips). Similar to Arrogant Bastard from a good tap! Posted this on the untappd app, and my screen name, Vman96, appeared.

We get just enough to cover the Groupon. Then we move over to the bar because I heard about “Match Play Monday” there. Basically the gist is this...sign up for their players club. Put $20 coin-in through the machines. They'll give you enough player points for $20 cash. And you'll comp beers on top of this...??? Okay!!!

I try Mr. Hopadapolis from Rough Draft Brew Co. (7.1%; 3.5 sips).

And hit this for my efforts!

We would have stuck around for another if we didn't have the show. Real laid back place with great beer.

Handpay!!! I wish it was a “real” one...but up $50 after the bonus money!

Stop by the room to get my boxers and to process some ACG/Hotel matchplay we planned to use when we got back.

Go to Divas. Get there a little early. Go to the penny units.
M hits 7s again!!

Theatre was decently full for a Monday.

Frank Marino is definitely a fast-paced and witty comic. Not all his jokes are winners, but it doesn't slow him down. Him as Joan Rivers.

Katy Perry

Frank again

Celine Dion

Mariah Carey (this was probably the worst match...reminds me more of Stifler's

Tribute to MJ

Bette Midler...very good

Dolly Parton...stuck the mic between her boobs for a bit too...haha

Shania Twain

Liza Minnelli (same dude that did Mariah...much better here)


Final Scene...see the guy transform into his male look...pretty interesting

Curtain Call

I enjoyed enough for $16. Would I pay much more? Meh.

After the show, we decide to stop by Venetian briefly.
Sorry TI, maybe next time:


While I was there, I attempted to squeeze onto a bartop in the Bourbon Room, where I heard 9/5 DDB (97.87%) existed. Well, my unit didn't have it, but it did have 8/5 bonus Deluxe (97.4%) and 8/5 DDB+ (97.25%). Also had Sculpin, so why the hell not. But that Sculpin cost me $16.75 in play, ow. Go to the sportsbook, was debating on another beer but figured maybe M would want to go. Tell her where I am, and she delays in responding. This is why she delayed.

105X bet hit

Another ~100X hit seven minutes later

With the delayed response, I shove in another $20 to gamble at 6/5 Super Double Bonus (96.87%) for Sculpin. Soooo glad I did.

Also tried “Friends” on the way out. Hit a bonus and win nearly $10 more. No pics though as my phone was nearly dead. :(

M wants to go to Mirage. I balk. But I get talked into it since I have stepped foot in there for EVERY Vegas trip.

When I walked in and smelled the pumped smell, I immediately knew I made the right choice.

The changes are interesting. Hopefully the construction suits them (or other future owners) well. And hopefully the new bar they are building doesn't do this drink voucher system!!! I wasn't aware of it at the time. Lobby bar looked busy though when I glanced. :( Played $5 in “Family Guy”...Fail.

Head back to TAG one last time... :cry: At least I can charge my phone there.


Brooklyn Blast IPA (8.4%; 4 sips)

Happy Camper IPA (6.6%; 3.5 sips)

But now it's close to we need to head back. Quad total at TAG this week... all play on 7/5 Triple Bonus Plus (97.67%)...Zero. Ouch.

Get back to Gold Coast. Play off the match plays. Find it an empty table, but it's double deck and M is all confused and me too a bit. She starts to bend the cards like poker and gets yelled at. :( Also I get confused on the match play payout a bit...match plays seem so weird to me. M goes 1 and 1 and profits $10, but I go 2 and 0 and profit $40!

Now a little bartop poker before 3am before I pull out my card and move to M's. Hold my own for awhile. M goes up to bed and I'm left to my own devices and hit this just after 3.

Why couldn't you have hit at the Linq! (would have been $150)

Sometime during all this, my portable charger falls out of my pocket again! And this time it's really busted! :(

Having enough of the bar, I go scope the Hot Roll machines (basically STP on crack with 5 credits toward multipliers) and see some full pay quarter games. I don't have the guts for that, but I do see 7/5 Bonus (98.01%) for 3 play nickels.

Get off to a rough start until this win gets me close to my $20 initial stake.

And 90 seconds later...this is what I'm talking about!!!!

My first multiplied quad on the game for $70! So tonight's results have basically pulled me to a “gambler's even” for the trip. I might even have been a little up at this point!

Go back to the bar for some water. This time I told the guy I would gamble for it so it went in his pocket, not theirs. No big hits though.

Now move over to an “Up to 99.8%” unit to play for a bit, choose 9/6 Double Double Aces and Faces (99.44%) because I've never played full pay.

M is now up to 300

Now check those machines on nickels... and surprisingly...I find 98.91% Deuces! So there is another 15 minutes burned.

Some near misses. :(

Nice pull.

Now becoming degenerate flea. Don't want to go to bed.

“Hoot Loot” near the hotel elevator, win $5

Hoot Line win

Try “Barnyard Poker” because it's only 2c a credit.

Breaking full house since it's 6/5 Bonus. I failed.

18X Sheep exploded to give me 6X per line. Great hand though...

And finally, I have to play at the “Home of 3 Way Action Poker” (It actually says this in the elevator).

Yep...up way too late again. Didn't want to leave. :cry:

Day 7 Tues. Sept. 1st: Squeeze in Cosmo Pool and Fatburger

Get up close to 11 (GC is noon checkout) and M is a little mad because she doesn't think we'll have time for Cosmo Pool (flight at 3:40p). But I say we will, and we get moving. Stay for an hour, and then walk to Fatburger.

Another food porn fail though. I was hungry and thirsty dammit!

Get to the rental car return just before two, about the perfect amount of time. Felt like I should gamble $5 at McCarran because I had my lucky Flamingo shirt on (bought it the night of my first Vegas Royal on Presidents' Day 2012), but yeah, not lucky today.

Seat assignment also a bit unlucky. We were together, but in the back row, which probably has one less inch. Row in front of us was empty, so seat mate fortunately moved up a row. Take off decently bumpy with late afternoon heat/wind. Also control on ground was poor, the landing gear might need maintenance. Otherwise, flight was pretty smooth. Luggage takes 45 min. though. :(

Final Totals: $213 in my wallet from a $260 start. Given all the tips for drinks, I was likely even or better! Also remember I capped out the 40X multipliers at Boyd both times for $32 in slot play or ~$60 in food! Also over 30 unique beers this trip!

M who keeps much better records and won $55!

I know these results pale in comparison to some others, but we still have lots of fun! We're already wanting to go back!!! We'll have to keep an eye on those Frontier fire sales!

P.S.: We got my watch minute hand fixed for only $20. Was pleasantly surprised by that!
Joined: Dec 27, 2010
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September 12th, 2015 at 6:04:41 PM permalink
I hope you flogged the balls off that... *ahem*... "car". I generally accept that all rentals are gonna be mediocre at best and treat them like I treat mine regardless. But some... some just need a good pounding. D/T to Red Rock park as-the-crow-flies would suffice.

I also hope you felt a bit dirty patronizing that poor excuse for bubble hockey. NHL based bubble hockey is like 6:5 BJ =p
The opinions of this moderator are for entertainment purposes only.
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September 12th, 2015 at 6:10:26 PM permalink
Great report!!! You had to have won after considering tips. It also sounds like you both had a great time!
Vultures can't be choosers.
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September 12th, 2015 at 7:08:38 PM permalink
(I'll call her M)

Because she looks like the woman who
plays M in the Bond films?
"It's not enough to succeed, your friends must fail." Gore Vidal
Joined: Aug 25, 2012
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September 12th, 2015 at 7:32:05 PM permalink
Quote: Face

I hope you flogged the balls off that... *ahem*... "car". I generally accept that all rentals are gonna be mediocre at best and treat them like I treat mine regardless. But some... some just need a good pounding. D/T to Red Rock park as-the-crow-flies would suffice.

I also hope you felt a bit dirty patronizing that poor excuse for bubble hockey. NHL based bubble hockey is like 6:5 BJ =p

Yeah, we put 200 miles on it. It would have been interesting if we actually took it to somewhere like Red Rock Canyon. It may have

And yeah, dome hockey in the US should always be US v Canada or US v USSR...haven't seen the latter one in forever. :(

Quote: Mission146

Great report!!! You had to have won after considering tips. It also sounds like you both had a great time!

Yeah, I think I did. I did tip a decent amount with those beers. The promo wins definitely kept me out of the hole. ;) And yeah, it was really nice time, and enjoyed the pool a lot more than normal.

Quote: EvenBob

(I'll call her M)

Because she looks like the woman who
plays M in the Bond films?

At first I assumed that was some "bond girl" character, but after a quick wiki...

I'm 35 dude, lol... It's her first initial to save me typing "my g/f" a bunch of times.
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September 12th, 2015 at 7:52:30 PM permalink
Quote: tringlomane

Get up to check out of the Linq to later move to the Gold Coast. While M waited in line to check-out, the degenerate in me wanted to inquire if I could wager on the Little League World Series Championship. Answer No.

IIRC, the only sports you can bet on in Vegas are professional, college, and the Olympics. I would expect there to be reasonably heavy action on high school football if they were allowed to accept bets on that.

And did you get from MGM Grand to Luxor by walking through Excalibur, or taking the tram? Getting from Luxor back out to Tropicana & the Strip was a mess when I did it.
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September 12th, 2015 at 8:14:33 PM permalink
As always tring, enjoyed the report.

I just bought my flight for Sept 29th, only 3 days but got the tickets for $46 round trip on spirit. We'll see how bad it is but for $46 rt it is worth the risk.

I could do a trip report but it will be me, my wife, and 2 kids under 4. That report would be like birth control for the forum.
Expect the worst and you will never be disappointed. I AM NOT PART OF GWAE RADIO SHOW
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September 12th, 2015 at 8:38:19 PM permalink
Quote: ThatDonGuy

Quote: tringlomane

Get up to check out of the Linq to later move to the Gold Coast. While M waited in line to check-out, the degenerate in me wanted to inquire if I could wager on the Little League World Series Championship. Answer No.

IIRC, the only sports you can bet on in Vegas are professional, college, and the Olympics. I would expect there to be reasonably heavy action on high school football if they were allowed to accept bets on that.

And did you get from MGM Grand to Luxor by walking through Excalibur, or taking the tram? Getting from Luxor back out to Tropicana & the Strip was a mess when I did it.

We took the messed up route via the tram. So we technically visited part of Mandalay Bay for one minute and backtracked to Luxor as the trams were perfectly timed for us.

As for the bet, I thought it was doubtful, but it would have been a hell of a souvenir if it lost. Probably not though...I wouldn't have bet the US. lol
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September 13th, 2015 at 1:18:48 AM permalink
Quote: tringlomane

but after a quick wiki...

I'm 35 dude, lol... It's her first initial to save me typing "my g/f" a bunch of times.

You don't know the woman who plays M is in the Bond
movies and you're 35? You had to wiki it? Do you live
in a country that has no access to movies for the last
20 years?
"It's not enough to succeed, your friends must fail." Gore Vidal

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