Posted by Face
Mar 04, 2012

Return to The M - Day 3 and 4

Day 3 was kind of fuzzy. I'd been averaging about 3.5 hours of sleep for over a week now, and every day was go-go-go from the moment I got up until I passed out for another 3 hour nap at night. I do recall some highlights, though...

I don't know if it was ever shown here, but I got to see the Surveillance footage of the Wynn dice sliding incident. I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or just throw up. Guys... this dude was standing right at the stick. He set the dice on top of each other and PUSHED them, in exactly the same fashion a dealer would push out a stack of cheques to you. You know, the hold the bottom with thumb and middle finger, push down on the top with index finger...that's how he "threw" the dice! If that wasn't bad enough, on many of the throws the bottom die didn't even make it to the "E" in "COME"!! In the majority of the throws, it didn't even make it past the "C" in "COME"!! Throw after throw...it was expletive crazy, I couldn't believe it. More than anything this week, that just stands out as the biggest WTF moment I have ever seen in Game Protection.

After a few more sessions I noticed the Wiz again, this time chatting with what was probably the hottest vendor in the place. For guy who describes himself as "having no game", he sure finds himself in pleasant company often ;) We broke for lunch, and after stashing my notes I turned to see Wiz standing alone in line. I had my chance and introduced myself as Face from WoV and thanked him for his site and services to our industry. He immediately offered to join me for lunch, and we spent about an hour shooting the breeze about gaming, protection, AP, my job, the forum, old school cartoons... he was very easy to talk to. He seemed very interested in what I do and made me feel quite welcome, which was flattering. It was comfortable enough that he even ripped on me for my country slang. The nerve of that guy lol. After lunch, he took me on a tour of The M, the high limit slots and tables, the sports book, tossing out bits of information and explaining his review process and slot breakdowns. It was a great lunch, and if you read this Wiz, thank you. It was an absolute pleasure meeting you =)

After "work" was done, the vendors took us out to Soki Ribo or something, some Japanese restaurant at Caeser's Palace. Holy $#%^. I'm not even exagerating, Caeser's Palace is bigger than my hometown. No joke. I have never seen such opulence in my life. We were walking through the mall part, the area that has the curved roof painted like the sky... I was kind of losing myself in the place when I felt a breeze and thought to myself "man, it sure has warmed up tonight, surprising since it seems to be getting dark".....and I was friggin' INSIDE!! I can't imagine the dopey, doe-eyed look I must've had on my face. I sure wasn't in Kansas anymore.

After my free $70 steak and all the beer I could drink, and after I talked the bosses out of a stop at The Rhino, we went back to The M for some gaming. I was up far too much to want to blow it, so we settled in for a night of Pai Gow Poker. I was betting conservatively, hoping I could just push the night away, while Big Money and Big Money II were all over the place. The dealer was fantastic and we were having a great time with her. I caught her saying something and turned it around like she was insulting us, and when she tried to save it she opened herself up again, and a couple back-and-forths later we were all rolling at the table. It was a real good time. Anyways, I was kind of up and down and was peaking again (or at least I felt so) and WoV hit me like a ton of bricks "the longer you play, the worse it'll be". I stepped away for a smoke and realized I was up 25% of my buy. Sure I could do better, but I could also do worse. A lot worse. A little better, a lot worse... color please! =D Everyone was on my ass, saying I "wasn't a gambler", blah, blah, blah, but I was up for the day, up big for the trip, so to hell with all that mess. I'll take my measly 25% and sleep with a smile on my face. But, I decided to stick around and watch for a bit, and wouldn't you know it, I had a PaiGowDan moment at Pai Gow Poker....

Right after I colored, I was watching my boss play and I saw something that looked odd. I could've swore he just got paid on a push, but trying to recall the hand in my mind wasn't working so I just ignored it. Put money on it and I'd bet he did, but whatever. But now I'm looking for it, and the next hand my big boss gets taken on a push. He didn't even notice it, but I'm a front line guy, this is how I make my money. I call the Floor over and have her recall it, even had to explain how to do it right (Oy) and get my boss his money back. Over the course of the next half hour, they both got killed. Everything they had, good, bad or great, was just a step down from the dealer. Finally, they both get pissed and both all in...and they push. They do it right back, flip their cards, and both have 3 pair, HI-HI-LOW. Finally, they're going to win! Dealer turns over Junk/Full House! I was just about to groan in disbelief, when I see the dealer go to float and start cutting...Wtf? I look again (and I don't know policy, but her Full House wasn't sorted, it was set 6, 6, 9, 6, 9 instead of 6, 6, 6, 9, 9) and yup, I see it's Full House. Big Boss gets his cheques...and she goes back, cut, cut....Boss gets his cheques, cards are scooped, and on to the next round. I just stood there, going over it in my head again and again, like, what did I miss? That was a Full, yes? And no sort of pair beats Full, right? Wtf...what am I missing? So about five rounds later I lean over to Big Boss and just whisper "paid on push?" and he gave a sniper's nod. And that's when I realized, no matter how pious or righteous one may be, it's a damn hard thing to speak up on a mistake like that. For just me? No problem, I even corrected an overpayment my first day. But to pull money out of my boss and big bosses stacks, even if it was ill gotten? Can't do it. Sorry, Dan =/ 10 Hail Marys to the Protection gods for me...

Day 4 - It was just a waste. So blurred, so out of it... to be honest, I just wanted to get back home. I wanted my trees, my wet air, the complete solitude of the sticks, I was burnt out. This day's "work" was nothing but fun, just the wackiest and wildest Surveillance videos from around the globe. We have our own version of the Grammys called the Golden Domes, and that's all the day was. It was cool as always, but the day ended early and I had nothing to do but avoid gaming and save my win for the next 10 hours. The bosses tried to get me to the strip for a day of debauchery and bankroll depletion, but I stayed in. I finished my book, watched a Sons of Guns marathon, and took a nap. When I woke, I had the most intense urge to take my entire bankroll and plop it on Banker, just shoot the moon and let it fly. I watched more TV, I smoked, I went for a walk,... that urge just did not pass. 6p, 7p, 8p...I'd almost made it, but come 10p, I couldn't resist any longer. I put on my pants and headed to the bar.

I got there and grabbed a coke, and realized I only had the coin change from my drink ($0.51 if I recall) and one dollar bill. I folded that bill and began twirling it between my fingers as I walked the slots with my coke, again fantasizing that this one dollar could turn into thousands with just one push of a button. Every slot I looked at, I saw that one j/p combo pop up on the RNG...if I could only push the button fast enough. I opened my mind and tried to feel the aura, the chi, the whatever...I was out of it. So overtired I was walking the line of reality and unreality. Saw a Wizard slot and I had just met him, it must be a sign. Saw a turtle on a slot and turtle is my clan, it must be a sign. Saw a wolf on one and just saw a bunch of wolf hunting pics, it must be a sign. I finally saw a slot adorned with 4's. 4 is MY number. It might mean death to Mr Xu, but 4 is all me. I just stared at it for about 5 minutes. I put my dollar in. Max coin, the whole dollar. I put my finger on the spin...and daydreamed. Trying to feel that 1 j/p tick on the RNG, imagining the bounty, how awesome of a story it would be. I just stood there for like 10 minutes, finger on the button, sipping my coke....the BAM! Hit that spin....chink, chunk, chank....bupkis! lol That one dollar loss, for whatever reason, just KILLED me. It made me legitimately sad, and dashed all wants to gamble for the rest of the trip. Maybe it was because it was "all the money I had on me", but it felt like I lost everything. It felt so bad, I dumped my coke and went my ass to bed.

After getting ready for bed, I came back down in my jammies for one last cig (I had a non-smoking room) and there was a smoking fine woman standing in the elevator lobby area. I had my headphones in and was texting, but I felt her looking at me as I passed by. After I passed, I felt her following me. 10 steps later I stopped at the ashtray. She walked a few steps past me, turned and looked at me, then walked back. Wtf? I finished my smoke and returned to find her still there. We made eye contact. "Hey there" she says. I return the greeting. "Have a good night?" she asks. I confirm. "Want to make it better?" she asks. Wait...wtf? Am I... being propositioned? LOL "How 'bout a dance?" she asks, and I'm sorry, but I just laughed at her. I thank her but no thanked her, and scurried my ass into the elevator as soon as the door opened. And I can confirm, the "close door" buttons in The M's elevators DO work ;) Vegas, man....what an interesting little town ;)

All in all, it was another fantastic Vegas week, another splendid stay at The M Resort, I had a wonderful lunch and got to meet the Wiz, and I left up 300%+ of my buy ins. Twice to Vegas, twice left a winner. Lifetime winner - I is one =D


gambler Mar 05, 2012

Glad to hear that you got to meet the Wizard! What an exciting trip and a great trip report. I am assuming the convention you attended was for game protection casino staff?

Ayecarumba Mar 06, 2012

Great report Face! I enjoy the quality of your writing. It is great to hear that you continue to be a Vegas bankroll success story!

Face Mar 09, 2012

Yeah, gambler. Mostly is was Surveillance folk, but really anyone that is in the biz and could swing the cost could come. There were a few Security guys, Table Games had a few representatives, hell, even the Wiz was there. I teased him about being a mole and gathering counter intelligence =)

And thanks, Aye, glad you enjoyed it. I wish I had put a little more effort into it (I get a kick out of entertaining by writing) but I don't think I was quite recovered yet. Actually, I've been back almost a week now and I STILL don't feel quite recovered. You know how it is ;) And yeah, it's kind of neat being a "lifetime winner", even if it doesn't really mean much except I got kind of lucky at cards and spend way too much time studying NASCAR. But one more winning trip and that's officially a streak, so maybe I'll write a book... ;)

Posted by Face
Mar 04, 2012

Return to The M - Day 2

Morning came way too early, but it was the first day of conferences and the Daytona 500 got postponed until today, so I was in good spirits. I got all fancied up for work and was ready to go at 8a, only to find out it was just registration and it went from 8a-1p. Dammit. I gave a heads up to the bosses so those jerks got to sleep in, and I headed back to my room to read a bit and stare out the window. There's something about the empty desert I could just look at for hours.

We met for lunch at The Vig and I was off staring at the sports bar, noticing they had all the pre-race shows on. I excused myself for a closer look and it dawned on me that, duh, I could bet on the race. Superspeedways are tracks that I felt you could really clean up on. It's one place that literally ANYONE can win and I was feeling longshots. I had me a seat and started gathering names and odds, trying to recall the previous Speedweeks, The Duel results, practices, testings...I was really getting into it. I narrowed the 30ish picks down to 9, did some math and got that down to 5, and after some Facebook posts back home, I went to the desk with my three picks. I took Gordon at 8:1 for my cousin, which is even more insane for me than intentionally staying in the city. Betting real money on Gordo, I must've lost my mind. I made my longshot pick Bowyer at 20:1. He's a good driver with a good team and has shown promise, and that 20:1 just seemed way too long for how good he is. The math just worked. And after a little more pencil work, I settled on Kenseth at 12:1 for my third, another guy that I felt was set too long to pass up. After paying my money and getting my tickets, I head off to the first conference of the day.

There wasn't much in the first day conference a whole lot of you would find interest in, so I'll spare you. Once out, I realized the 7p start time for this NY'er is 4p when in Vegas, so by the time I got to my room the race was already 30 laps deep. Gordon was of course running at the front, which was good, but 20:1 Bowyer had been running top 5 and was still there after halfway. I was getting excited, so excited that I had to go to the bar. I got changed, headed down, and found a seat just in time to see Bowyer being pushed around the track by the breakdown crew. Wtf?! Guy ran out of gas, and my 20:1 was now 2 laps down.

Ah well, Gordo's still strong, and the 8:1 would put a little cash in my pocket at least, so it's not al.....BOOM. Gordon blows up. Sonofabish. Everything riding on Kenseth now, and I don't even like the guy, AND he's already been in for an unscheduled stop because he was overheating and spitting all the water out of the radiator...I started looking into the rest of the day to find something to be happy about.

The laps wind down and Kenseth isn't doing too bad. He's top 10, moving forward, moving back, typical Daytona racing. I check the clock and see that the race will probably end just in time for me to make my card counting competition. A little while later, Kenseth is in Top 5. Shortly after that, he was leading. And leading. And leading. The track of 1,000 lead changes and he's been holding it, things are getting interesting. He's just got to stay up front, make a good pit stop, survive the end of race cautions, and things wi....BOOM! JPM hammers the jet truck on a caution lap and the track erupts into flames! I couldn't believe it, I haven't seen something like that since 80's LeMans racing. I was praying, PRAYING, the race would be canceled. It was brand new asphalt engulfed in JP-5 and set ablaze, I thought for sure it would've burned down, and Kenseth was leading. It was after halfway, and a canceled race meant that he would win. Then I realized 4 guys didn't pit, putting Kenseth in 5th, so I reverse prayed they would get it out and get it fixed lol. Emotions were running wild, the racing was awesome, the events were crazy, and all I could think was "thank god they don't have sports betting in NY or I would be in trouble." =) I was having a blast.

The fire and cleanup was taking forever and I had cards to count, so I headed to Rovello (or Ravello, or Rivello, whatever). I sign in and started shooting the breeze with the bosses, guys I'd met last year, and I turn around... who do I see but our very own Wizard of Vegas! I just stood there dumbstruck for a second as I watched him walk by and navigate the crowd. "What was he doing here?" I wondered to myself. In any case, I'll have to introduce myself, but right now...it's time to count.

I made sure I wasn't first to go like last year, I wanted to see the competition. I made sure to settle down and just make it through the first round instead of trying to blaze right out of the gate. I was pretty confident my slow time was faster than most, so I just need to go slow make it through round 1. About 10 guys go, and I see Wiz and teliot standing right at the table eyeing everyone up, which, I must admit, made me nervous. But nuts to that. Gimme the cards, yeah, I know the rules, and GO! 15 seconds flat. I return to my little cheering section just in time to see both Wiz and teliot take part in the competition. Well done, the both of you =)

I ended up posting a 12.54 in the final, which was good for 4th overall. I was kind of bummed since I flubbed the first 10 cards or so and could've done better, but the winner took it with a 10.5 which is 0.1 faster than my personal best. Kudos to her, but watch out because I'll be back next year to take that cup! And really, being mentioned in the same breath as one of the "fastest in the world" at anything isn't so shabby, so I was feeling good. I even won a bottle of Tommy Hyland wine, which I thought was odd given the name and the purpose for all of us being in Vegas ;)

Anyways, I gotta meet the Wiz. Dammit, he's deep in convo with teliot. I'll go have a beer and try later. I see him again, and as I approach he dives into a giant shrimp cocktail lol. Hell, I ain't gonna bother the guy now, but I will have another beer. I head out to the patio and notice across the bar that the track cleanup is still ongoing and just about complete. The race will go on! I make one more glance for the Wiz, didn't see him, and left to hope that he'd be around the rest of the conference.

Back to the track, 30 to go, and Kenseth is still in the lead. 20 to go and Kenseth is still in the lead. 10 to go....still in the lead and my heart sank. Anyone who knows Superspeedways knows you don't want to be in the lead at the end. Lap 9, leading. Lap 8, leading. Lap 7, Lap 6, still leading and caution. Lap 5, leading. Lap 4, leading. Lap 3, caution, still leading, and here comes the green white checker. OMG! My only hope is his teammate Biffle behind him, who he's been helping all race long, won't abandon him. Green, leading. Take the white, leading. They pull away from the pack, Junior in 3rd...OMG...they're down the back stretch, those three all by themselves...dive into turn 3, come out of turn 4, down the dog leg... here comes the move, Junior pulls out....and Biffle stays home!! They hit the stripe and KENSETH WINS!!! My 12:1 came in, I'm feeling like a hillbilly Ace Rothstein, and I am officially undefeated at sports betting! I damn near skipped the whole way to the cage =)

I got me a drink, enjoying my bulging pocket and just started making laps of the slots. I felt unbeatable, and how awesome would it be to now hit one of those $1k+ tickets on the slots?! This is going to be the best trip ever! I started daydreaming about a lot of things MathE has said about RNG's, that every single slot I looked at was cycling through to a j/p in the time it took me to look at it. All I had to do was hit that button at the right time. People do it all the time, and I was going to do it today. But, thinking of MathE made me think of all the other things he had to say, and after a good three laps of the slots I wondered.... what in the bloody f#%$ was I doing in the SLOTS?! This isn't "casino money" this is "MY MONEY", and I'm not going home an idiot. I tossed my drink, grabbed my key, and went my ass to bed! Thanks, WoV forum!!

Posted by Face
Mar 04, 2012

Return to The M - Day 1

Just got back from my Vegas trip the other night, so figured I'd have a little story time. I'm a little bored, so this will be long ;)

I spent the night in Buffalo the night before the trip. It's a very odd thing for me to be in the city and all (especially on purpose), but the Elmwood area is changing my opinion of the place. It's a quiet area and a nice change from my norm. The houses there are almost like a time machine, I can't help but look at them and think of what B-lo must have looked like back when it was a city and not cesspool. Also, having a pretty lady to spend the night with doesn't hurt the mood none to bad either. After a whopping 90 minutes of sleep for the night, I set off for the airport at 10a, making it just in time to nab a ticket and get to the gate for takeoff. It was nice not having to wait around, but I don't suggest trying this at home.

We had a quick jaunt to Baltimore for a connector, and with the fierce tailwind, it seemed like we were in the air for less than an hour. We flew Southwest for the Vegas stint, and I somehow got an "A" ticket for Southwest's open seating policy. I found the big legged front row open and took the window seat immediately. I started chatting with the aisle guy next to me and he helped me out with things to do preflight, which got me settled in quick. Then, since no flight must ever be comfortable lest time and space unravel, a big ol' girl tried plopping in between us. Normally I'd just deal with it, but her ass took up 1/4 of my seat as well as her own and, by my new friend's reaction, some of his as well. I couldn't hear the exchange between the two of them as I was drowned in my Pandora, but after what seemed like some disagreement and heated words, she left the seat in a huff. A part of me felt bad, but a whole bunch of me was tickled to death. I got the whole 6hr flight in the big leg seats with no one next to me! The flight was sprawling, lounging ecstasy.

We hit Vegas at about 7p. I suppose it was "cold" for Vegas, but we just left a 15*F snow storm so we found it just fine. A $35 cab ride later we were back at The M. Again, as soon as I walked in that fig oil scent punched me right in the face, but it wasn't as bad this time, almost like a welcome home. Check in was painless as always, and the room was just as I'd left it. I know last time I praised it up and down, but I was ever so slightly annoyed this time. There wasn't anything terribly major; I think I spotted some splatters on the floor in the toilet and the paper roll holder was loose, but it was the lack of a proper fridge that really bugged me this time. They have a fridge, but it's one of those pre-stocked, computerized deals, where if you even shift an item, it registers it as you just took something and nicks you for a $12 water or some such nonsense. Warm lemonade isn't the worst thing in the world, but c'mon.

Of course, I didn't even wait to unpack before I grabbed my cash and headed for the tables. I did a quick lap to see if everything was the same and check if my bosses were around before stationing myself near the BJ. It was the same Lucky Lucky, 3:2, RSA, no surrender game, but it was now Hit soft 17. Pretty sure it was Stand last year, but whatever. I found a cozy looking table that was about mid shoe, so I stood back and had a smoke until shuffle. Come the shuffle, I plopped down and started my Vegas week.

About two rounds in, I realized trying to count after being up for 42 hours straight was no mean feat, and after getting up almost 50% of my buy, I figured it was no longer worth the effort. I started playing for fun, chatting the dealer, the players, taking crazy swings. Hearing someone gasp as you take a stupid split only to win them both is always a good time. But as will happen when playing like an ass, my bankroll started to decline. I felt the gamer start to fade and the gambler start to pick up, but I was too tired to stop it. I took a 6 unit swing on what felt good and missed, losing a good chunk of my starting buy. Of course I dropped it right back to 1 unit and hit a BJ on the very next hand, because, well, that's just the way it has to be, right? I quickly found that I was too tired to count, too tired to chat, too tired for even BS, and now I was getting aggrivated at losing money. I had to get out, just had to go to bed. I waited a bit, won a few 1 unit wagers, then plunked everything I had left on one last pitch of the cards.......and Winner. I stopped the bleeding, came back from a first day disaster, and left down only $20-$40.

It wasn't the perfect start, but I learned a valuable lesson that only cost me a couple Jacksons and felt good about where I was. I still had the rest of the week, after all, and it was going to be good. I was sure of it....

Posted by Face
May 07, 2011

M Resort trip

I'm bored and feel like writing, so I figured i'd give my noob opinion on my trip to the M. Before you run out and get a reservation or decide to never visit based on this review, keep in mind I'm a total virgin with this stuff. Up until this point, I'd never gambled, never flown, hell, I had never been west of Ohio. On with the story!!

I won't bore you with flight details, as I imagine it's all old news to you. I'll just say that for the first time flier who may or may not be concerned with flying, it wasn't very nice to have a one hour, on-tarmac delay because someone forgot and then lost the damn gas cap for the plane.

10 hour NY to LV flight behind us, we got us a cab and got to the M. I don't know the distance from the M to the strip, but I can tell you it's about a $40 ride. It ain't close. The first thing I noticed upon arrival was the smell. Yes, all casino's pump in their own fragrance for memory, ambiance, smoke cover, whatever, but this one smacked me right in the face. It wasn't offensive, really, it was just strong. I'm not a fan of potent smells, and immediately thought this was going to be a problem. I ended up adjusting so it didn't give me a headache or burning eyes the whole week, but it was definately ever present. I didn't notice anything of the sort at the Hard-Rock; in my opinion they need to tone it down.

I got a smoking room in case...bah, in case nothing. I'm lazy and didn't want to get up. Surprisingly, the wasn't a hint of smoke smell when I got to my room. The rooms were quite nice in my countrified opinion. Two big beds, nice giant windows, work desk, small closet, a big bathroom with shower and tub, and it was CLEAN. I didn't do a forensic test on the place, but it looked as if I were the first person to ever stay there. The beds were Goldilocks (just right) and even with the excitement of my first real trip and being in Vegas, I was asleep immediately.

Upon waking to my first daylight in Vegas, I saw the view from my window and loved it. It's probably not for everyone, but I'm uncomfortable in cities. The hustle, the bustle, the constant noise, it's just too far from what I'm used to. The view from my window gave the street below, and after that, nothing but desert all the way to the mountains. Just a whole lotta nothing, I felt right at home. Well, except for that no hills, no trees, no water, no grass thing. Anyways, I was diggin' it.

Let's forget that I was there on business and pretend I was just there for the games. I pretty much did, anyways ;) There was a big sportsbook, bar, and a ton of TV's, all quite empty as it was February and nothing was going on. Checked out the Poker room, which looked nice until I saw the $50/$100 blinds (this maverick had a massive roll of $500). I'm not a slots guy, but there definately seemed to be enough, and of all kinds. They do a fantastic job of getting you lost once you enter the maze of banks, I can tell you that much. A few of the players had that zombified, homeless look about them. I don't think they're addicts, I think they just hadn't been able to find their way out yet. It was tough.

The food places LOOKED good enough, but I had $500 for 4 days and wasn't about to spend a dime on such frivolties as food. The business I was there for supplied a catered lunch and I applied camel logic; gorge now to last for later. But, since the food did come from the casino, I will say there wasn't much to complain about, and a LOT to rave about. Some of the veggie dishes were just too fancy for my uncivil pallette, but the meats were to die for. And some chocolate cake/pie something or other, wow. They served it in a square the size of a typical ice cube, which I thought was cheap, until I bit it and realized they crammed 12,000 calories of chocolatey heaven into that little square. I got instant diabetes and was never happier. Definately 5 stars for everything I ate (cept the veggies).

The games were pretty standard. Ultimate Texas Hold'em, 3 Card, Let It Ride, etc, a bunch of BJ, Roulette, and a few Craps tables, Pai Gow Poker and Mini-Bac. I had planned to end my trip with throwing every penny I had left on Banker, so immediately went to find the mini-bac first and make note of it. I found it bookending the "Asian Game Section', which I found weird. The section was removed from the rest of the table games, seperated by 4 or 5 bank of slots. I dunno, it just seemed weird to me. All Asian dealers, all Asian Floors. Again, just weird. Culture shock, I guess.

The games all seemed 'new'. The whole place seemed new. As I said, I'm not a gambler, so I wasn't really looking to see if they offered 3-4-5 odds on Craps (they did) or if they had a single 0 wheel (high limit only), but more looking at it from a standpoint of operations. Everything just seemed new. There was nothing out of place. All the banks were square, the floors shiny and free of marks, the tables all had crisp felt free of stains or burns, the walls were uniform, the ceiling perfect, rugs unworn, even the ashtrays seemed clean enough to eat out of (but then again I drink creek water, so make your own determinations). I kept looking for an imperfection; a tear in an apron, a chip on a cheque tray, a smudge on the glass, a fountain nozzle clogged, and saw nothing. Even the big ashtrays, the ones that are afixed to the garbage cans, seemed to been cleaned and refilled with sand after every smoke. It was kind of spooky.

I did find problems eventually. First, in that week of February, we saw a daytime low of about 52 degrees. By the end of my week, it had hit 65, and the goddamn pool was closed! It was a beautiful pool, mind you, and the landscaping around it was quite nice to look at, but when I left home I had experienced 6 straight days where the highest non-wind chill, actual temp was 5 degrees Fahrenheit. I hadn't seen the sun in about 4 months. 65 and sunny was a veritable tropic paradise, and you LVers with your thin skin had the damn pool closed. Gah.

The other 'problem' if you could call it that, wasn't on my part, but on the M's. I played only BJ on that trip. Pretty good rules, in my opinion. $5 or $10 table, dealer stands all 17's, double any, double after split, split up to 4 times even Aces, 3:2,...I think the only thing they didnt offer was Surrender. I asked the Pit about Surrender and he said "Naw, we don't offer that, but we offer split Aces up to 4 times to make up for it" and clapped me on the back. O....K...? If you say so Boss-Man.

The waitresses were prompt; even though I don't drink it was very...ahem...clear that they were present. They say the M's got the hottest waitresses. What they mean is they have the most giantest, fakest breastessess you'd ever care to see on a lady. Beyond big, they just look painful. To each his own, I suppose.

The dealers for the most part were OK. One of the Asian ones was giving me the business...after busting me out of almost all of my $100 buy in, I had a double situation and needed to go to the roll to complete it. She shouts out "Soopavisah! I make heem deeg, I make heem deeg!", and points and laughs. I'm sure it was all in good fun, and wasn't exactly pissed about it, I just found it strange. She busted me out on my double too, so no teep foh you! lol. I kid.

Another dealer was pretty cool, although quiet. Didn't seem bored, just reserved. After hours of not playing those damn side bets, I hit one for what would have been a big payout. The biggest one, 150:1, I think, for 6,7,8 Spades. Everyone, ESPECIALLY the Asians on the table almost died, hootin and hollerin about "See! I told you pray it! It Supah Rucky!" I didnt mind, but the teacher in me had to go and question if they realized how much money I had already SAVED by NOT playing it, to which they guffed and hawed about. The cool ass dealer though just dropped me a nod and said "They never think of that" and smirked. I did eventually fold many hands later and threw two random white cheques up on it. That same cool dealer threw them right back. Just said "Don't. Donate them to charity or something". Nice guy. I tossed em right back and said keep it, he deserved it.

Another cool dealer, some older gal from Russia. Sweet accent, liked to play around with the players. Giving them their anticipated cards upside down, making moves to give it and pulling it back, just general messing around that people were getting a kick out of. Again, I found it weird cause stuff like that'll get you the boot in stuffy ol' NY, but it was a welcome change. I was losing my mind trying to keep what was a +9 true count alive while my boss was giving me addresses and times over the phone, and I walked away for a smoke once it evened back out at the end of the shoe. I always smoke away from the table, I dunno, it just seems right. She actually tossed me a nod and verbally thanked me for doing so. Seems weird, but from an operations standpoint I thought it was awesome.

The problem came with this last dealer. She wasn't overtly terrible. I mean, she was good looking, from NY, had that NY attitude that I guess made me feel at home. But good lord, her game protection was horrid. If any of you's are less than true, if you like to mark cards in any way, look for the short little hispanic girl with the dark hair and full lips from NY. Every single payout I got, even BlackJack's, was made ON TOP OF THE CARDS. With just a little pressure on the cheques, I could have marked every single 10 and Ace in the shoe in about 90 minutes. I could have juiced that whole damn deck, had I not been raised proper. She crossfired, she hawked, she gazed, she forgot takes on losses, she flashed holecard...other than removing the float and shaking it into our pockets, I can't think of one rule she didn't break. Again, game protection is my career, and I've never seen a worse case of it in my life.

I'm not sure what else I could include. The one bar was nice, overlooking the pool and desert, but bars aren't my thing. The whole conference center was taken up so there were no shows. And damn it all, after battling back from one sad session to a better-than-even bankroll, I found mini-bac to be closed on my final day and never got to bet the roll on Banker. But I'd go back. For me it was a very comfortable place, from the actual living quarters to the geographical location, all very clean and had all the games I wanted, with the rules I'd look for. If your on a budget and want 'The Vegas Experience' maybe you'd wanna pass simply for the $80 round trip to the strip and back. But for this country bumpkin, the solitude of the open desert suited me just fine.


FleaStiff May 07, 2011

Its Fig Oil that they spray in tiny micro droplets into the air conditioning to remove and mask odors. The M Resort has four times the air change rate than the average casino. They spent a fortune on their computerized air conditioning system vowing that if each and every person in the place lit up a cigar simultaneously a blind man would never know it.

It is a very new and clean place.

Its seven to ten miles to the strip depending upon exact measurements and whether you go by crow or not.

I thought there was a SHUTTLE ... alot of rigamarole and an eight dollar fee to get on it though. Once you are at The M Resort, count on pretty much staying there.

They got a bar at the M what serves 99 beers.

Asians play alot of Baccarat so putting the MiniBacc tables on the fringe of the Asian area makes sense, sort of.

The M just opened or is about to open its Pool Parties/Concerts. They hired a popular DJ and I thought he started already but I'm not sure, the Undiscovered Talent series of free concerts at the pool starts May 14th I think? Or maybe it was May 4th?

FleaStiff May 07, 2011

Oh....... as for cab fares: I understand that in Las Vegas that fare is for 1 or 2 people, so if you find someone at a Strip hotel who is enroute to the M, it would be each of you paying half fare. The surcharge starts at 3 or more people.

FleaStiff May 07, 2011

Didn't you ask for a Comp to the Buffet?

You need a players club card to get the Buffet Comp. If the floorperson denies you the buffet comp, that card still gets you one dollar off the Buffet price. Sometimes the lines can be long though. Given what you describe your budget was and given the results that you've told us, you would almost surely have had a free buffet. The M Resort is one of the three casinos in Vegas that are Number One for their buffets.

FleaStiff May 07, 2011

Even if you did not rate a Buffet Comp you would surely have received a Deli Comp. The M Resort never looks at your winnings, but if you've lost you are likely to get something back.

ten2win May 07, 2011

I really enjoyed your write up. It was short, sweet and to the point!

For the most part, the dealers are the service staff that really make or break your stay. You really took notice of that.

gambler May 07, 2011

Great review. I especially liked your stories about your interaction with the dealers.

Face May 07, 2011

Thanks for the added info, Flea. Indeed there was a shuttle, but we didn't have the time to sit and wait. It was very much a by-the-seat-of-your-pants trip. Between the conferences, events, vendors taking us out to fancy dinners, we didn't want to waste even 10 minutes of free time waiting for anything.

Same goes for the buffet. While getting a comp may have been possible, I didn't even bother getting a card. I know some may say it's foolish not to, but I wasn't there to make points. I probably won't be back for years, if at all, and anything I may have earned would almost definately been lost due to the frantic pace we were setting. Sure, it's only 5 minutes to get a card, but five minutes is like 20 hands of BJ. Not worth it, IMO =).

Thanks to all for the kind words. I focused mostly on the service, since other than a few variations, all the games are the same. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised in all interactions. Probably the only thing I could say negative was that Asian dealer that was giving me the business, and even that I didn't take offense to. Maybe if I lost the rent money, but not in this case. Even the random housekeepers I ran into all stopped to smile and wish me a good day/afternoon/night every time I passed one. They, the Front Desk, the Hosts, Facilities...anyone you made contact with really made you feel welcome. Other than the somewhat intense fragrance, I haven't a bad thing to say. Two thumbs up.

FleaStiff May 08, 2011

>Sure, it's only 5 minutes to get a card, but five minutes is like 20 hands of BJ. Not worth it.

LOL. I know what you mean. Particularly since your trip was officially a business trip and you had various conferences to attend thus limiting your gambling time.

One thing to recall is that although its often better to utilize the Players Club desk to get a card, if you really and truly are pressed for time you can simply give the details to the Floor Person at the craps or BJ pit and while you are playing the Pit Clerk will be sent to get you a Players Club card. Any of the knicks or knacks that the Players Club has such as a freebie plastic cord or something will be available only at the Club desk though.

Even if you know, absolutely know, that you will never be coming back to that casino, having the card is the required "Jacks or better" to get a comp.

Ayecarumba May 09, 2011

Thanks for the write up Face! You have a great writing style, and I value your "industry insider" insights.