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AZDuffman
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November 24th, 2022 at 5:01:18 AM permalink
Just sent a batch of "Happy Thanksgiving" texts. I tend to do this Thanksgiving, Christmas, and on random holidays or events. The later depends on the person, we might share an interest. I find this a way to keep some kind of touch with lets call them "minor" friends. Or, people I was work friends with, mostly, but we no longer work together but I like to keep contact to have a contact somewhere. Might want to ask some advice about where I might travel, might need details about where we worked that I forgot, or they might have been a subject matter expert on some point.

Wondering if anyone else out there does the same?
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
Dieter
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November 24th, 2022 at 6:35:18 AM permalink
I do not on the day. A few days before or after, perhaps.


If people are with their friends and/or family, I do not wish to take their attention from it. Be present for the people you are with, don't ignore them to fiddle with the phone.


If people are not with friends and/or family (not by choice), I do not wish to highlight the misery of their situation.
If people are not with friends and/or family (by choice), I do not wish to interrupt their peaceful solitude.


Many of the people I might send greetings to have mental health concerns ("have a tough time around the holidays"), and I know that putting on a false cheery demeanor to reply doesn't make the day better for them. Being alone for the holidays is much less annoying when people don't constantly remind you about it.

Your mileage may vary.
May the cards fall in your favor.
heatmap
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November 24th, 2022 at 6:40:32 AM permalink
I hope this is relevant but in the morning I normally only say "morning" instead of "good morning" because of the place i used to work at. if my memory serves me correctly (which it doesn't usually) i used to say good morning to some of the people sometimes and I ran into this guy who went "what makes it so good!?. And now everyone else has to hear this joke from me for the rest of my life because of this one guy this one day. I feel bad for you all.

Mornin' from me by the way.
AZDuffman
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November 24th, 2022 at 6:56:47 AM permalink
Quote: heatmap

I hope this is relevant but in the morning I normally only say "morning" instead of "good morning" because of the place i used to work at. if my memory serves me correctly (which it doesn't usually) i used to say good morning to some of the people sometimes and I ran into this guy who went "what makes it so good!?. And now everyone else has to hear this joke from me for the rest of my life because of this one guy this one day. I feel bad for you all.

Mornin' from me by the way.
link to original post



I did a similar thing. People say "I wish it was Friday" to which I reply, "Why? You will still be here doing the same work the same way, shouldn't you with it was Saturday?"

Some people get it and see the humor, some do not. This is actually a good litmus test for people more pleasant to be around.

UNRELATED: As I write this there is an infomerial for online sports betting and casino (DraftKings) Thanksgiving has changed since I was a kid!
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
Mission146
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November 24th, 2022 at 7:08:46 AM permalink
Quote: AZDuffman

Quote: heatmap

I hope this is relevant but in the morning I normally only say "morning" instead of "good morning" because of the place i used to work at. if my memory serves me correctly (which it doesn't usually) i used to say good morning to some of the people sometimes and I ran into this guy who went "what makes it so good!?. And now everyone else has to hear this joke from me for the rest of my life because of this one guy this one day. I feel bad for you all.

Mornin' from me by the way.
link to original post



I did a similar thing. People say "I wish it was Friday" to which I reply, "Why? You will still be here doing the same work the same way, shouldn't you with it was Saturday?"

Some people get it and see the humor, some do not. This is actually a good litmus test for people more pleasant to be around.

UNRELATED: As I write this there is an infomerial for online sports betting and casino (DraftKings) Thanksgiving has changed since I was a kid!
link to original post



I used to work a traditional job in which I was off every other Saturday. I think Fridays are better than Saturdays in that you have the weekend plans and a foolishly optimistic and idealistic vision for how Saturday is going to go, but then Saturday ends up lackluster, if not outright sucking.

It's kind of like taking a vacation, right? You have an idealistic version for how your vacation is going to go only to be followed by almost everything going wrong and the vacation being more exhausting than whatever else you might have done in a normal week. Much easier just to stay at home and not have any expectations that, however conservative, will almost always fail to be met.

Also, dealing with people that you, 'know,' is almost always more awkward and uncomfortable than dealing with strangers...strangers do not intrude upon your personal space and ask meddlesome questions about your private affairs (hair stylists aside)---which should be of no greater concern to them than they would be to a stranger.

As far as the holiday wishes text thing is concerned, my phone lives on, "Do Not Disturb," during holidays. It actually lives on, "Do Not Disturb," most days, but I certainly don't need vapid, "Good (insert holiday)," messages from people who mostly couldn't care less how my holiday actually unfolds. As I grow older and older, I see less and less of a need for these bromidic trivialities.

/rant
Last edited by: Mission146 on Nov 24, 2022
https://wizardofvegas.com/forum/off-topic/gripes/11182-pet-peeves/120/#post815219
billryan
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Mission146
November 24th, 2022 at 7:20:17 AM permalink
One of my fraternity brothers moved to Alaska about thirty years ago. Every year, on Thanksgiving, he calls every one of his pledge brothers and his pledge master(me). Most years, we talk for about ten or fifteen minutes.
I have not seen him in over thirty years, have never met his wife and kids, and have little interest in his sons progression toward his black belt or that his eldest daughter switched schools and majors for the fourth time.
The strange thing is that three of my fraternity brothers were living in Las Vegas when I was there, and he took his family there for a week but didn't contact any of us, but still calls us every year.

November 25th used to be a huge holiday in NYC and much of the US as it is the day we kicked the British out. Once we entered WW1 on the British side, it didn't make sense to celebrate their defeat so the myth of Thanksgiving was born.

In the thirties and forties, Democratic states used to celebrate Thanksgiving on a different day than Republican states did. In an attempt to promote more Christmas shopping, FDR moved Thanksgiving a week earlier. Still, not all Americans celebrated what they termed "Franksgiving" , and the next year, the divide was strictly political. Democratic states celebrated on the fourth Thursday but Republicans insisted on celebrating the next week.
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
Mission146
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November 24th, 2022 at 7:24:51 AM permalink
Quote: billryan

One of my fraternity brothers moved to Alaska about thirty years ago. Every year, on Thanksgiving, he calls every one of his pledge brothers and his pledge master(me). Most years, we talk for about ten or fifteen minutes.
I have not seen him in over thirty years, have never met his wife and kids, and have little interest in his sons progression toward his black belt or that his eldest daughter switched schools and majors for the fourth time.
The strange thing is that three of my fraternity brothers were living in Las Vegas when I was there, and he took his family there for a week but didn't contact any of us, but still calls us every year.
link to original post



That sounds pretty insufferable. Why not simply tell him that you have no interest in an annual update on his children---who you have never met and mean nothing to you?

I guess it's at least only fifteen minutes per year and takes place at a predictable time.

I'm glad people who I no longer have anything to do with do not have my number. The last thing that I need is more pointless messages/calls.
https://wizardofvegas.com/forum/off-topic/gripes/11182-pet-peeves/120/#post815219
AZDuffman
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November 24th, 2022 at 7:44:22 AM permalink
Quote: billryan

One of my fraternity brothers moved to Alaska about thirty years ago. Every year, on Thanksgiving, he calls every one of his pledge brothers and his pledge master(me). Most years, we talk for about ten or fifteen minutes.
I have not seen him in over thirty years, have never met his wife and kids, and have little interest in his sons progression toward his black belt or that his eldest daughter switched schools and majors for the fourth time.
The strange thing is that three of my fraternity brothers were living in Las Vegas when I was there, and he took his family there for a week but didn't contact any of us, but still calls us every year.



I think in the finale of M*A*S*H Hawkeye laments that his and BJ's friendship will be no more. One or the other might travel cross country and "have dinner" but they will go their own separate ways. On a "Frasier" Woody visits and after one great dinner they realize they have nothing in common anymore. I keep in touch with only two college buddies. A movie line that hits says "friendships are perishable" talking about this. Modern tech keeps us more in touch, if Facebook was there in my day I might have more contacts. Or not.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
AZDuffman
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Mission146
November 24th, 2022 at 7:49:07 AM permalink
Quote: Mission146



I used to work a traditional job in which I was off every other Saturday. I think Fridays are better than Saturdays in that you have the weekend plans and a foolishly optimistic and idealistic vision for how Saturday is going to go, but then Saturday ends up lackluster, if not outright sucking.



I'll give you the "looking forward" thing. But I also like to be the guy with some crazy outlook. I worked at a call center and would sometimes say, "10,000 seconds until we can go home!" As we would leave I might say "see you in 14 hours!" (we had an alternative schedule so not 16.) Woman that sat next to me thought it was a real downer to hear. But that life was a downer. A few months into that job and I was thinking how relaxing Federal System minimum security prison might be once you got used to it.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
gordonm888
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November 24th, 2022 at 9:50:21 AM permalink
To everyone who posted above: May your hearts all grow three sizes this coming year.
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
Wizard
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November 24th, 2022 at 10:25:42 AM permalink
Quote: AZDuffman

Wondering if anyone else out there does the same?
link to original post



I only do that on pi day -- and I blast almost everyone in my address list still living.
"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow." -- Ecclesiastes 1:18 (NIV)
AZDuffman
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November 24th, 2022 at 10:31:27 AM permalink
Quote: Wizard

Quote: AZDuffman

Wondering if anyone else out there does the same?
link to original post



I only do that on pi day -- and I blast almost everyone in my address list still living.
link to original post



If you want to up the clever send a pic of some ice cream and say "ala mode" see if they get it.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
smoothgrh
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November 24th, 2022 at 11:54:14 AM permalink
Funny, the Mrs just did exactly that this morning.

I think it's a good thing. Good time to recognize blessings and good cheer without all the formality of Christmas, which by tradition expects cards to be sent.
billryan
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November 24th, 2022 at 12:14:40 PM permalink
Quote: smoothgrh

Funny, the Mrs just did exactly that this morning.

I think it's a good thing. Good time to recognize blessings and good cheer without all the formality of Christmas, which by tradition expects cards to be sent.
link to original post



Do you still send Christmas Cards?
By the way, if you only talk to a friend once a year, spend the ten minutes talking about common interests and good times from the past, not your daughters' failure to adjust to dorm living.
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
DRich
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November 24th, 2022 at 3:37:06 PM permalink
Quote: billryan

Quote: smoothgrh

Funny, the Mrs just did exactly that this morning.

I think it's a good thing. Good time to recognize blessings and good cheer without all the formality of Christmas, which by tradition expects cards to be sent.
link to original post



Do you still send Christmas Cards?
By the way, if you only talk to a friend once a year, spend the ten minutes talking about common interests and good times from the past, not your daughters' failure to adjust to dorm living.
link to original post



Christmas cards? I don't keep in touch with anyone from my past after moving on. I have not spoke to a single person that I went to High School with since I was 18 and moved away. I have not spoke to any of my college friends or roommates since 1989 when I moved away. I still talk to one friend from Las Vegas but I have only been gone a year and I am sure by next year that will fade away too. Apparently I am not very social.
At my age, a "Life In Prison" sentence is not much of a deterrent.
dcjohn
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November 25th, 2022 at 4:27:37 AM permalink
I don't generally send or care much about holiday greetings, but I'm fine with those who do and their kind intentions, especially as an effort to keep in touch which I rarely do.

I do however use the opportunity to reach out humorously with a native American friend, hopefully emphasizing that the lore and whitewashed history doesn't diminish my appreciation for the shared history of "our" ancestors' tragic encounters.

I find they have good attitudes about things despite being generally a rather poorly treated and misunderstood minority. I really admire how they help one another and have a sense of community that not all other groups show.

That aspect of the holidays strikes me as more meaningful than overeating and watching football. Helping others, staying in touch, sharing appreciation, all good things as long as it is heartfelt and not just a mindless obligation.
Gandler
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November 25th, 2022 at 10:25:46 AM permalink
Thanksgiving is just mostly just people I am still in touch with.

For Christmas (or sometimes New Year's) I may broaden that out a bit to people I do not really talk to anymore. I don't really know my rationale behind this (I think I have just always viewed Thanksgiving as more of a traditional family holiday and Christmas and New Years as more celebratory and widespread), either way, it's just what I usually do.

I hope that everyone had a good Thanksgiving!
gordonm888
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November 25th, 2022 at 12:00:40 PM permalink
News flash: there is this app called Facebook that allows you to 'friend' many of your old friends and to keep track of everyone in a very low-energy passive way. (also, allowing you to be tracked, but that's another story . . .)
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
billryan
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November 25th, 2022 at 12:14:30 PM permalink
Quote: gordonm888

News flash: there is this app called Facebook that allows you to 'friend' many of your old friends and to keep track of everyone in a very low-energy passive way. (also, allowing you to be tracked, but that's another story . . .)
link to original post



Facebook- the app that lets all the people you actively avoid track you and your friends.
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
smoothgrh
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November 26th, 2022 at 3:33:57 PM permalink
Quote: billryan

Quote: smoothgrh

Funny, the Mrs just did exactly that this morning.

I think it's a good thing. Good time to recognize blessings and good cheer without all the formality of Christmas, which by tradition expects cards to be sent.
link to original post



Do you still send Christmas Cards?
By the way, if you only talk to a friend once a year, spend the ten minutes talking about common interests and good times from the past, not your daughters' failure to adjust to dorm living.
link to original post



I try to, but have been inconsistent the past few years. I've got some good family photos this year, so this year might be a go!

Sounds like you had a numbing personal experience — I'll try to keep my stories relevant!
AZDuffman
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November 27th, 2022 at 2:49:05 AM permalink
Quote: billryan



In the thirties and forties, Democratic states used to celebrate Thanksgiving on a different day than Republican states did. In an attempt to promote more Christmas shopping, FDR moved Thanksgiving a week earlier. Still, not all Americans celebrated what they termed "Franksgiving" , and the next year, the divide was strictly political. Democratic states celebrated on the fourth Thursday but Republicans insisted on celebrating the next week.
link to original post



Which Democrat and Republican states did this?
Last edited by: AZDuffman on Nov 27, 2022
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
billryan
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November 27th, 2022 at 7:03:51 AM permalink
In 1939, 23 states celebrated Thanksgiving a week early, 22 celebrated on the traditional date and three celebrated both.
In 1940, 32 states celebrated a week early, 16 celebrated a week later, with Texas celebrating both.
All of New England, which was then the Republican stronghold of the nation, kept the original date, with Alf Landon, the party's nominal head leading the resistance.
You can find the complete set of states and when they celebrated by google. Just type in "Franksgiving" and take it from there.
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
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