Nareed's Laws of NFL Football
September 14th, 2010 at 8:11:46 AM
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Just in time for the season is a work in progress:
1) The only game stat that really matters is the final score.
2) When considering a high-risk play, a conservative coach will look at the worst likely result. If he can live with it, he takes the risk.
3) When considering a high-risk play, a non-conservative coach will contemplate the desired result. If it's what he needs, he takes the risk.
4) A star player can't make a bad team into a good team (see Archie Manning, OJ Simpson and others)
5) A Heisman trophy does not gurantee a good player, but don't let the coaches know this.
6) He drafts best who drafts most (as long as he drafts well)
7) The Kurt Warner/Tony Romo Law: a good Quarterback is hard to find because no one knows how to do it.
8) All teams rest upon a handful of players, usually no more than 5.
9) No official has or ever will reverse a call becasue a player or coach argued with him. If you're out of challenges, save your breath.
10) A star coach can turn a bad team into a good team, provided he has the support he needs from the front office. For some reason this works best with first-time head coaches. Perhaps for the same reason, it works worst with head coahes who've won a Superbowl with another team.
11) Jim Mora is the funniest head coach who ever lived ("PLAYOFFS!!!? PLAYOFFS!!!? Are you kidding me? PLAYOFFS!!!!!? I just hope we can win a game!")
12) The only season stat that realy matters is how well the team did in the playoffs. A sixth seed who wins the Superbowl did better than a first seed left along the way.
13) There's no such thing as luck.
14) You do not need to run to set up the pass.
15) The Prevent Defense may prevent you from winning. Then again it may not.
16) The NFL owes its current success to Pete Rozelle, Lamar Hunt and network TV.
1) The only game stat that really matters is the final score.
2) When considering a high-risk play, a conservative coach will look at the worst likely result. If he can live with it, he takes the risk.
3) When considering a high-risk play, a non-conservative coach will contemplate the desired result. If it's what he needs, he takes the risk.
4) A star player can't make a bad team into a good team (see Archie Manning, OJ Simpson and others)
5) A Heisman trophy does not gurantee a good player, but don't let the coaches know this.
6) He drafts best who drafts most (as long as he drafts well)
7) The Kurt Warner/Tony Romo Law: a good Quarterback is hard to find because no one knows how to do it.
8) All teams rest upon a handful of players, usually no more than 5.
9) No official has or ever will reverse a call becasue a player or coach argued with him. If you're out of challenges, save your breath.
10) A star coach can turn a bad team into a good team, provided he has the support he needs from the front office. For some reason this works best with first-time head coaches. Perhaps for the same reason, it works worst with head coahes who've won a Superbowl with another team.
11) Jim Mora is the funniest head coach who ever lived ("PLAYOFFS!!!? PLAYOFFS!!!? Are you kidding me? PLAYOFFS!!!!!? I just hope we can win a game!")
12) The only season stat that realy matters is how well the team did in the playoffs. A sixth seed who wins the Superbowl did better than a first seed left along the way.
13) There's no such thing as luck.
14) You do not need to run to set up the pass.
15) The Prevent Defense may prevent you from winning. Then again it may not.
16) The NFL owes its current success to Pete Rozelle, Lamar Hunt and network TV.
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
September 14th, 2010 at 2:36:35 PM
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17) Any player can lose his job due to injury (if it happened to Joe Montana it can happen to anyone).
18) 17-0 may not be the absolute limit, but it will be a long(er) time before any team surpasses it (possible exception if the NFL does not go to an 18-game season in 2012).
19) A good defense is a better thing to have than a good offense (See the Baltimore Ravens).
20) A good palce kicker is worth his weight in gold. This explains why most place kickers are small weaklings.
21) The Garo Yepremian Law: Place kickers should never attempt to handle the football. Ever.
22) The Jim Marhsall Law: Never lose sight of where the other team's end zone is.
23) Don't spike the ball on fourth down. If you need to advance the ball, it's stupid. if you don't need to advance the ball, it's rude.
24) Do not start celebrating a TD before making it. Wait til you see the official making the TD sign.
25) When fake-spiking the ball, make sure you don't fool the officials.
18) 17-0 may not be the absolute limit, but it will be a long(er) time before any team surpasses it (possible exception if the NFL does not go to an 18-game season in 2012).
19) A good defense is a better thing to have than a good offense (See the Baltimore Ravens).
20) A good palce kicker is worth his weight in gold. This explains why most place kickers are small weaklings.
21) The Garo Yepremian Law: Place kickers should never attempt to handle the football. Ever.
22) The Jim Marhsall Law: Never lose sight of where the other team's end zone is.
23) Don't spike the ball on fourth down. If you need to advance the ball, it's stupid. if you don't need to advance the ball, it's rude.
24) Do not start celebrating a TD before making it. Wait til you see the official making the TD sign.
25) When fake-spiking the ball, make sure you don't fool the officials.
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
