Sucker Bets

In the bar, my favorite sucker bet was that somebody
couldn't eat 8 saltine crackers in a row. I'd bet a guy
a drink he couldn't do it and only one guy ever did. I
always kept a box of good saltines on hand, they were
the saltiest. Most didn't make it past 5 or 6, your mouth
gets too dry to go on. Try it, you'll see.

I probably shouldn't be admitting this, but I bit on that one once.

I knew what the game was, obviously, I just thought I could beat it. I started off by taking a big drink of water, and then I would use my incisors to break up the saltine and my tounge to push it to the left side of my mouth, way against the cheek like chaw. I continued to do this (without swallowing) until I couldn't close the left side of my mouth, but all saltines were in there! The idea was that the saliva and my cheek would absorb the bulk of the salt, and then I would use my tongue to move little clumps of it to the right side of my mouth for a final saturation and swallow.

It didn't work at all. My whole entire mouth just became gummed up. I attempted to suck back on my sinuses to force some mucus into my mouth for the purposes of moisture, but that was only a temporary reprieve and it didn't take long for that well to dry up, either.

Embarassingly, I pretty much ended up coughing the whole mixture into a handful of napkins and maybe actually swallowed a grand total of two crackers!!!

I WIN SUCKER BET:

I have to offset that now by discussing one of my favorite sucker bets to win. I would either win or get beaten at pool (it wasn't a game hustle) and then I would set up a ball right next to the bottom corner pocket. Simple as heck. I would offer to lay 2:1 that I could go three rails and put it in with only one chance of doing so, usually I'd offer to put up $10 against $5, but sometimes it was $20 against $10. The bet was accepted 1:4 times.

The thing is that I had practiced that exact shot at that exact table at least 1,000 times. I was 90% to make that shot! I had a better chance of making that than I did of putting one straight in.

It was funny because it wasn't the best table in the world which is a fact that my friend Kirk realized. I laid the odds and took $5 off of him, but then he offered to lay 2:1 odds his $50 v. my $25 that I couldn't do it from the other side of the table. I figured that I had done that type of shot so much I'd have to be at least 50% to make it, which made it a good bet. I went two rails and cue ball straight into the side pocket!!!

I used to do the three pieces of white bread in a minute; probably couldn't do it today, though. The trick is to squeeze the bread into a pellet and swallow it whole.

But I don't do food challenges any more.

Gee, where did you find a fish like that. Quite often if the 9 ball was set in a cornerr pocket I would walk away from the table, cue ball in hand, and from about 5 feet away toss it and make a 3 rail shot on the 9 ball. Easy as pie !

Quote: buzzpaff

Gee, where did you find a fish like that. Quite often if the 9 ball was set in a cornerr pocket I would walk away from the table, cue ball in hand, and from about 5 feet away toss it and make a 3 rail shot on the 9 ball. Easy as pie !

There are plenty of fish in the sea, as they say. Further, despite lots and lots of practice, I've never really been a particularly good pool player. The result is that you would have people who see me trying my hardest to make simple cut shots into corner pockets and I just couldn't do it. I did have a pretty good draw back shot, but that was about it. They see that I am a less than good player and figure, "There's just no way in Hades he hits that shot!"

i laid $20 vs a jimmy johns sandwich that my friend couldnt sit in a chair at an angle from the dartboard and hit a bullseye in 3 shots. i lost.

I used to bet that you couldn't spin a penny on the bar with one hand. The penny must touch the bar at all times.
I could do this regularly, and it isn't easy sober, let alone plied with drinks.

May I refer you to Sky Masterson of Damon Runyon fame: Don't take bar room bets... or there really will be cider in your ear.

I like this one too. Put a quarter on the bar and cover it with
a napkin. Bet that you can pick up the quarter without moving
the napkin by touching it or blowing on it. Take another quarter
and conceal in your hand. Put that hand under the bar and bang
on the bar with your free hand. Bring the hand with the quarter
in it up and show the quarter you concealed. The guy you bet
will inevitably remove the napkin and you pick up the quarter,
winning the bet.

In the pool hall, when a fish had a very easy winning shot lined up, we would bet he could not leave his stick leaning against
the table, run non-stop around all the tables, and make that shot on the first stroke non-stop.
Of couirse while the fool ran arounf the pool hall, we wet the cue tip LOL: