Ode To The Poser Pro

It was just after supp. they were gambling it up at One Eyed Jacks's Casino
For all the world to see the lady next to me was playing a game called Volkeno
I was doin' the same but on a poker game trying to make a royal flush
But on the game it pays the same so I'll take a wild royal flush

On the row just over a gambling rover got up and went to leave
And then I seen the screen of his gambling machine return to the gambling select screen
The games looked the same but something looked strange, at least from my far away view
So I walked on over to the row just over to give myself a clue

On the top of the screen of the gambling machine sat a brand new joker game
A meter was runnin' to add to the funnin' but to me it's all the same
A new game to play if I can find an overlay on this new game called Joker's Vault
But it can't be sized or fully analyzed on all that software I bought.

No hill for me because you see, I ain't no poser pro
I'll leave the floor and hit the door with all the casino's dough
There ain't no doubt I can figure it out, don't even need paper or pen
When it comes to a play I will find a way, I'm the best that's ever been

So I went to work on the gambling math dirt, not like a poser pro fumbler
It was time for me to crunch and see what was my playable number

There are different configurations across the nation. I don't know what yours will be
But here I can say that I got a play when the number hits three
It's a one joker game, a two joker game, but that don't make me a clown
Win 8 out of ten when I'm in and I'll take the money down

I've rode freight trains through the Idaho rain not knowing where I'm bound
I'm a hard ass tramp from the labor camps, nothing gets me down
That was then, this is now, I'm flush and good to go
Yeah, I'm doing swell, but I came from hell, and I ain't no poser pro.

Have you ever seen or read Into the Wild? I've been curious about the scene where the train security cop just beat up the hitcher, wondering if just dramatized out of proportion to reality.

Quote: onenickelmiracle

Have you ever seen or read Into the Wild? I've been curious about the scene where the train security cop just beat up the hitcher, wondering if just dramatized out of proportion to reality.

I've been ticketed by railroad cops but never beat up by them. Their tickets mean nothing. They are just trying to scare you. But I'm a generation younger than the real freight tramps. I don't think I would want to live through what they lived through. I think it was a real tough ride when you had to fight the bulls all the way through. But on second thought, I think I was tough enough to do just that. Them assholes wouldn't have had a chance against me. I would have clubbed them MF'ers first.

A lot of it comes down to how far can you see ahead. I was always good at cutting them all off at the pass. You couldn't catch me in a spot that McCandless got his ass into. I could smell trouble. Eyes in the back of my head. McCandless didn't have that. He should have stayed off the rails.

We all know the story of McCandless dying in the wilderness. He was a fool. No survival skills.

I just remembered. Backpack Phil and me went to jail in Vinita, Oklahoma for jumping a freight train. I think it was like 1994. It was on a Friday. So we layed in jail all weekend waiting to see a judge. That damn jail fed a man like he was a king. If the damn jail wasn't overcrowded I wouldn't have even wanted to get out.

What happened was we had jumped a freight train in Kansas City on a cloudy and overcast day. We were northbound and it was a north bound UP. But the train broke east at the river and we didn't know where the hell we were going after that. The sun broke out about midday and we figured out that we were headed south. We both pulled out our railroad maps to determine where the hell that freight train was going. Son of a bitch, it was headed straight to Houston, Texas. All good freight tramps know to stay the hell out of Houston, Texas. Them cops will jack you up.

So from our railroad maps we seen the cross track at Vinita. Neither one of us had been there before. But we thought we could jump a train going either west to Tulsa, or east to Springfield, Missouri. Vinita was just a little bitty burg so we had to stay out of sight. The first train came flying by at 50 miles per hour. Phil and me looked at each other knowing we were f-----. We couldn't catch northbound. We had been on a southbound track. Neither one of us was willing to put a foot in Texas, so we weren't about to jump a southbound again.

Two freight tramps in Vinita, Oklahoma. A frickin' little eastbound unit haul came through. Phil and me ran and jumped into the last unit. The unit haul moved maybe another few hundred yards then stopped. After about 15 minutes I told Phil I was going to peek my head up and take a look. I peeked out the window to see six squad cars surrounding the unit we were in. The cops all had their guns drawn. "Phil" I said "The jig is up."

Well, the next Monday the cops take us to see this old 80 something judge. He says "That'll be a $100 fine apiece, boys." I had $7.57 on me and $15 worth of food stamps. I said "Judge, I can't speak for Backpack Phil, but would you take a post dated check for my end of the deal?

The judge said "Where the hell would you go if I let you go?"
"I personally think I would hitchhike to Lincoln, Nebraska to that work mission" I said "How 'bout you, Phil?"
"Yeah, I think that's a pretty good spot for me too" Phil responded

The judge looked at the cops.

"Take these two men to the edge of town. Tell them to don't come back" the judge said.

Backpack Phil and me thumbed to the work mission in Lincoln, Nebraska.

Quote: mickeycrimm

I've been ticketed by railroad cops but never beat up by them.

isn't it funny, that you are probably more likely to get beat up by casino cops from what you do now?

Thanks for the posts mickey. I read them the first day but wanted to reread them since I didn't understand the lingo.

Still don't understand a bull. What does it refer to? Another question, when do those trains get all the graffiti? the purpose?

Quote: onenickelmiracle

Still don't understand a bull.

I believe "bull" refers to police employed privately by the railroads. Equivalent terms would be railroad cop or railway police.

But when the term "cop" is used without a modifier, it usually refers to government police with broad authority beyond railways.

I've never ridden a freight train, but I have seen probably a couple dozen episodes of Petticoat Junction.

Quote: gpac1377

I believe "bull" refers to police employed privately by the railroads. Equivalent terms would be railroad cop or railway police.

But when the term "cop" is used without a modifier, it usually refers to government police with broad authority beyond railways.

I've never ridden a freight train, but I have seen probably a couple dozen episodes of Petticoat Junction.

A bull is a railroad cop. A lot of the grafitti is done by the FTRA (Freight train Riders Of America, a nototious railroad gang). I don't know what a lot of it means but FTRA keave their signatures all up and down the tracks. When I rode the rails there was an FTRA serial killer called Sidetrack. I seen hus signature everywhere. They finally caught him in the Roseville yard. I think he iis doing life in an Oregon prison.