Posted by onenickelmiracle
Feb 04, 2017

Wish I could quit smoking

It's very hard. I only could once for three months 13 years ago with the patch. Could only use the patch for two months before I had an allergic reaction on my skin with a rash. I just love smoking, it's my crutch, really the only thing I really care about. It feels like I made a deal with the devil, giving my soul, for nothing in return.

I dont like the cost, dont like my lack of control, don't like my health problems smoking gave me. I cannot cope without smoking. It gives me comfort and hope believe it or not. The mornings are the hardest. Always feel like plenty of time, just a few more. I flash back constantly to my troubled teen years when I quit for a few days, right back to when I started. I start thinking about my life then when I really never do all these years. Feel like smoking blocks my memories. It's weird.

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking

Racing around to come up behind you again.

The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.


OnceDear Feb 05, 2017

Love that song. My second favourite last verse to

I once bought my friend this book because I feared for his health. He smoked in spite of frequent chest problems. Maybe my concern helped, because he had given up after 4 months. He was pretty grateful.

Sadly he passed away two years later with cirrhosis. Maybe I should have bought him


Have you tried switching to vaping?

onenickelmiracle Feb 05, 2017

Can't even go one day or half day without giving in. Made it four hours, maybe five, and in the face of disappointment, I gave in. I suffered so the whole time, like a damn overflowing and breaking.

I haven't vaped, but maybe I will. Kind of leery spending $60 and not liking it enough to not smoke.

BTLWI Feb 06, 2017

I started smoking in 1992 - Marlboro Light 100's (what can I say, a gay friend in the Army got me hooked) but quickly switched to Marlboro Red's. After 2002 I was up to more than a pack a day - buy a carton every Saturday - and a 2 pack day wasn't shocking but also wasn't the norm. In October 2008 I tried vaping. I enjoyed it so much - you can get some very tasty juice flavors - that I smoked my last regular cigarette 3 days later. Within the first few weeks of vaping I noticed a decent change in my lungs. It was pretty great. Then about my fifth week into vaping it was a Sunday afternoon and I'd noticed that I hadn't even vaped yet that day. I decided to see how long I could go without vaping. It's been a little over 8 years and counting now. It was surprising because I really really enjoyed vaping and all of my juices contained nicotine.

Even 2 years in I would still get some very random "Oh, a cig would be nice right now" urges out of the blue maybe 3 times a year. Those urges go away pretty quickly though, like less than 15 seconds once you tell yourself "F that" to the idea. And I completely stopped having them after about 3 years of quitting. Now I'm pretty much one of those people that get repulsed by the smell.

In 2009 I got to watch my Mom be put on portable oxygen at age 56 (40 years of smoking). And in 2013 I got to watch her pass away from COPD/Emphysema at age 60.

Smoking is like constantly exposing your money against a house edge. Close to zero upside and 100% downside if you go at it long enough.

BleedingChipsSlowly Feb 07, 2017

It was easy for me to give up smoking. I did it more than a dozen times. ;-) Seriously, it took me about three months to break the physical addiction and about a year and a half to overcome the psychological addiction. Failures were most often situational. Going ashore with buddies on payday to drink beer and shoot stick at waterfront bars almost always melted my resolve. Eventually I succeeded, so keep trying and don't give up hope. I still have the memories of how good that first cigarette tasted with morning coffee, but I haven't gone back to that for thirty years. Best of luck.

odiousgambit Feb 09, 2017

>a deal with the devil, giving my soul, for nothing in return

a real nasty wisecrack response to this that I've heard is "old Nick didn't get much of a deal either" ... what that means is obvious, I think! and nasty! sorry

I was able to quit after switching to snuff - not the only reason I could quit, but it helped. And then I quit the snuff too. Like the other posts say, it seems important to just get away from the cigarettes, so maybe vaping will work too. I convinced myself I liked the snuff better, that it had what I really wanted, lots of nicotine. It was easy for me to despise cigarettes after getting off them, that they really taste like shit. There is always risk that you will stay hooked to the vaping* but if you don't switch away from the cigs there may be no hope.

I can occassionally smoke a cigar or even use snuff some now, without going back to the habitual use thing.

*or something like snuff, however vaping these days has to be the thing

lilredrooster Feb 17, 2017

I quit smoking many years ago. I had chest pain and coughing and the price was rapidly going up. I quit cold turkey. I think my experience was pretty common. The first 2 weeks were very hard. After 2 weeks I didn't miss them at all. One time 6 months later I broke down and bought a pack. The cig tasted horrible. I couldn't believe that I had smoked for all those years. For many years now I've had no urge at all to smoke.

Nathan Feb 22, 2017

Rudy Huxtable said it best. "You know, smoking isn't good for you! It makes your breath stink, your lungs dirty, and then you die! None of my friends smoke!"

onenickelmiracle Mar 14, 2017

This might be bad, because I'm trying the same way I've been trying in the past, putting a nicotine patch on halfway through the day. This means I'm in for vivid nightmares tonight, and I'll have to put a new one on when I wake up in the morning. It's so easy to smoke in the morning, just feels like indulging, which is satisfying putting off the cessation. I want to have a long term quit goal, but I wont, a day and a half is quite a hill already. I'll go for 4 counting today, starting at 4:26 PM EST. I have 4 patches in stock, main reason.

Gave in after 5 hours. I'm probably going to have to try Chantix. If I can't make it with that, big trouble.

Nathan Mar 15, 2017

Stay strong, ONM. You can beat your smoking habit. I wish you good luck on the Chantix medication and good luck in quitting smoking for good.

If you more anti smoking help, look at the downright creepy and slightly scary Tobacco Free Florida ads on YouTube, especially Terrie ads. She ended up losing her beautiful hair to lung cancer she got from smoking, ended up having to speak through her throat and looked REALLY OLD for her age. She was in her 50's and looked 70.

Then she died at the very young age of 53. Her final ads before she died had her looking sad and haunted and her last one right before she died was extremely disturbing. She looked like an alien and the look on her face clearly said,"I'm going to die soon. It's too late for me, but it may not be too late for you. Please don't start smoking and quit right now if you have already started. A message saying something like,"Terrie died at 53." flashed at the very end, making her pained, haunted, regretful, remorseful expression even more disturbing.

Posted by onenickelmiracle
Dec 21, 2016

First online bonus attempt

Set up the account, made the deposit, making the bets, then will bet the bonus money. It's horseracing. Wasn't sure what strategy to take, but knew it really doesn't matter as long as the bets I make qualify. I pretty much watch TVG then make my decisions based on whatever information I can get. Have to phone in my bets, because I have a windows phone, site doesn't work, and can't get the app. Luckily for me, these bets count per the terms, and normally don't with other offers.

My strategy initially was to bet place on a contender, and keep playing, them. Ain't nobody got time for that, so I wound up betting win and place. Sometimes just place, depends on the race and how I feel. I'm not supposed to bet exactas and long shots, but I made a few small bets as so. SS Illuminati, had to bet just for the name, at like 4-1, and it placed for a credit. Passed on Bingo Bango Bongo at 30-1, thought about it placing $5 place, but passed and it placed. $50 would have been a good win, but it doesn't matter. Bingo bango bongo is so me, definitely something I'd say, but dumb idea. All bets might be all the same when you just want action, but those are hard to make.

Little Lucille, feel like my little experience paid off with her. She was rude to her escort horse trying to get rid of it, when it's supposed to calm her down. Got on the phone toute suite, thinking at 2-1, a worthy bet by demonstrating so much vigor. I was pleased seeing she knocked her rider off in the gate, though was kind of worried either an injury to her or the jockey might hurt my bet. It didn't. He got back on, it was not looking good, then that little spitfire killed it on the final stretch. Still, even though, I saw signs I liked, I only bet $5/$5 on her, because I'm working on the bonus, and truthfully, want an end result Im satisfied with. Guess I'm not super convinced what that spunk is worth. It was good enough to just motivate me to place a bet. Bet $10 to win $19 total, not trying to change the world.

Last race of the night, thought I only needed to bet $18, so I bet $20. It was the favorite, Texas Flygirl, about even money. One of the guy's last pick in his pick 5 tout, was kind of afraid, because they were still in it, and worried about a jinx. No matter what I do, I'm winning, so all this drama, is just for fun. It all comes out in the wash. That horse looked so good though, I could see why it was such a favorite. It just glowed, so shiny, lean, and muscular, just so healthy looking. She won, but then I realized I hadn't bet enough yet. Wanted to get it done, to speed up the bonus period by 12 hours, but I'll have to wait. Almost there, small loss, but tolerable within what I expected. A win is a win. Even if I win, cash out, I'll probably continue using this in the future, after I exhaust the remaining sites. I know there's a convenient cash out option for me, but I'll have to see how it really works when I'm ready. Wouldn't want to cash out before I get my bonus in case it has to be argued. Taking all my money out would not tilt the scales of decision if I needed the benefit of the doubt, they should think I'm serious.

My only concern is which races are minus pools. No race I bet on was 1/9, so I doubt they were. If I have to bet more because of a mistake, I will, there is time. Noticed in the last race, the show bet paid $2.10, dont know if that's a minus pool, or if it counts if I wasn't a part of it. I'll find out I guess soon.

I didn't bet every race out there either. Maybe I should have, but I wasn't hearing any good info midday. If there was any, last minute and wouldn't have time to call in a bet before they were off. Just race after race, from track to track, no good commentary, nothing to judge. The way I play is analyzing commentary, looking for subconscious attitudes hearing them describe a horse. A weak opinion lowers my confidence, pushing me to a weaker bet or another horse altogether. Sometimes people don't really seem to want to give praise, but then they do. This might be my imagination not really making any difference, but how I like it. It's an art at best, but so much better than wasting time looking at stats and developing a sickness. I also bet impulsively otherwise occasionally when I have nothing, no info, no opinion. That I do not think is helping at all, but usually bet smaller the dumber the bet. Just small change.


onenickelmiracle Dec 22, 2016

Got the last bets in, hadn't had a confirmation yet my bets all qualified, so kept betting after qualifying and kept losing. It's not fun losing a few races in a row, but I could afford it without a bonus. I have a desire to keep betting, but I'm going to have to stop and wait the two or three days until my bonus kicks in. I'll have to be careful with the temptation of money in my account in the future. Couldn't stop writing this without making one more bet. To win, I'm steaming. Might cash out before my bonus kicks in to protect myself.

Sweet Ella for the win at Gulfstream, $8 win bet, 2-1, score, waiting for it to be official. That horse just looked good. Ah, yes, it is. $6.80*4=$27.20. I'd have done so much better during this run never betting exactas. Know they're dumb, but they're appealing. For me, they're just like pure guessing though placing the second horse and I usually box, because I'm never sure enough to withstand the regret of missing out.

onenickelmiracle Dec 23, 2016

Wow, have to stop chasing exactas. Have lost every exacta bet. Doing well judging these tout picks, results good knowing when to believe them and when not to, but because of my exactas, will just meet expectations. Exactas have a higher takeout, so maybe not, but not a good bet relatively.

Good example today, man on TVG says 6,7 race 7 @Laurel and 6,7 race 8 double bet. Then he says he meant 5,7, not really believing him on race 8. Bet 6,7 race 7 win and place, they both finished top 2. Bet 4 horse to win race 8, it wins, but my exacta 4/6,7 fails to 4/3. Race 8 horse 5 had a last second jockey change, knew that was bad news.

Truth be told, wish I would have not bet race 8 at all, but it was too late. Just something I did before the race, reached for one of my cheaper smokes instead of my Marlboros. Made me think I really didn't like my bets made, subconsciously must have known I was not being so smart, would not succeed most likely.

They credited my bonus two days early, so really impressed. Side note, kind of thinking early races in the day, afternoon, are easier to bet for me. Evening and night, I have more trouble making good decisions. Just a hunch though, feels that way.

onenickelmiracle Dec 23, 2016

Wow, finished my requirements and did not necessarily play smartly all the time. Some races I just bet blindly betting contenders at Woodbine, because of lower takeouts. Good enough, funny how a $32 bet makes me sweat more than slots, video poker, or black jack. Just made me nervous betting so much not being able to see the race. Still zero for everything on exactas, but quit for a long time. I put $100 in a slot hardly worry, but then bet $32 on a race and really felt some pressure. Could just feel my blood pressure pounding and did not like it. Had to put a blanket near the wall out of worry I would lose my temper and hit my head on the wall in a fit. Could just see it happening, but I won. Whew. Boy, had too much coffee.

onenickelmiracle Dec 25, 2016

The company actually treated me right, very courteous applying my bonus two days early. Even though I'm withdrawing a small profit, I will deposit later and do my race betting with them.

lilredrooster Feb 17, 2017

I love it when the chart maker makes an unusually positive comment. They're usually stingy with praise so I take it as being important. My favorite comments are "surged," "full of run," "good energy," and "took command." Also, "at will," and "vanquished foes." Of course, others see the comments and the horse will surely get bet down because of them. But sometimes, especially if they have a strong rival they're not bet down too much.

Posted by onenickelmiracle
Dec 18, 2016

Humiliated by a host

Sweet, wasting all that money getting a tier has benefits. They're offering me a room on NYE. Oh, you need to check my play, that doesn't sound good. I need to check my play mother mother. They never did anything for me yet, great to get an offer, then find out, I have to ask for it. Predatory jackasses. Ran into an old widow I've known well for years, while at another casino, wasting I'd estimate $75,000 a year. She said she drives by this casino, never stopped in. Glad I told her to not bother convincingly, whether this host pulls through or not and will never forget this. I dreaded this rejection and seemed to have gotten my wishes in perfect humiliation. Dissent is brewing strong at that place, it's like Guantanamo for all their regulars. You hear the talk, nothing but pain there. I lost too much, does the casino really have to send a special invitation to make me regret it even more? It sucks. I'm not wanted there and neither is my money is my solution.


onenickelmiracle Dec 19, 2016

Man I was so angry last night, obsessed with anger, obsessed with thinking about the offer and probably not being able to redeem it. Obviously a room in my hometown isn't really that valuable for me, but felt like it was offered, I had earned it, and the casino wasn't being very loyal or valuing my dignity. It just isn't supposed to be based on play, seems like cheating me. A good night's sleep took care of it, but it was hard to get, probably laid in bed five extra hours completely angry, couldn't stop thinking about it.

Boz Dec 20, 2016

So do you think they just sent a lot of mailers out without looking at play first? Or do you think you changed your play patterns that sparked a red flag? Either way, casinos need to do a better job of sticking with offers they make unless they can justify fraud or some other legit reason to deny an offer. Goes to again show that Tier levels are a scam other than the basic benefits because you are only worth your last (or last 3) trips to them.

RogerKint Dec 20, 2016

I love how crimmish this post is. We've all been there and feel yer pain.

onenickelmiracle Dec 21, 2016

Boz, everyone in the top two tiers(160 people) was sent it. My play hadn't changed since the offer was sent. It was pretty nonexistent before it was sent, then actually improved afterwards. You're right about the policies.

Roger, thanks for the support too.

onenickelmiracle Dec 21, 2016

What is crimmish? Dont fully understand the word.

OnceDear Dec 23, 2016

I think in this case, 'Crimmish' might mean in the style of Mickey Crimm. Mickey Crimm was a member here who. i understand was an AP of some colorful character. He did tend to drink somewhat and it affected his effectiveness as an AP and some of his behaviours and posts were 'unfortunate'. Banned from here a few years back.

I could be wrong.

FleaStiff Dec 23, 2016

Hosts and "policies" as an excuse are always a nuisance. The thing to remembr of course is that NYE is indeed special and "offers" no matter how guaranteed should be confirmed, even if you only plan to use the room for DUI avoidance. CONFIRM it. Their computer sends out mailers but they have only "averages" to go on as far as responses are concerned and an "average' response is not relevant to NYE.

Enjoy the champagne.

onenickelmiracle Dec 29, 2016

Yeah I was mad that night. Hate that place. If I ever won the lottery, I'd pay their top tier members $10,000 to go on the self-exclusion list. It'd probably be cheaper offering a $100,000 drawing.

Posted by onenickelmiracle
Dec 02, 2016

An iPhone doesn't mean we've made it

Big deal, we have phones like Star Trek, they say all the jobs will be eliminated, etc., like the Human race has solved all the problems. Ok, you can go to Wikipedia, learn what you need, a robot makes your clothes, and your car, drives you around. You have the perfect girlfriend though, because you designed her and she's a perfect fit.

Mars is the hot spot for vacation this year. Take the space elevator up, then hop a ride. This is where the problem is, we are getting good at the basics, but then we're stuck. Nobody has this stuff figured out, I don't even think we're close. No clue how to make the materials strong enough for a space elevator, no clue what rockets may actually pose to the Earth itself, way down the road.

This is all if life inside virtual reality isnt so much better, we just give up on the real world. Another futuristic prediction, in 20 years, virtual reality will be so good, just like now, you won't be able to tell if reality itself is real, all there is, with a deeper level. You might even forget you're inside it.

I hate to say it, but we're still just the same as any other flying monkeys. We have not made it, we have just begun. My fear is we will never make it out of this blue jungle, because there isn't so much scarcity out there past the moon. Without the scarcity of resources, power will come from other means of control, if it even can be. When we have everything, what will drive us. We're still just damn dirty apes, with hierarchies to worship, and to control us. If we can even get there, remember just because you have a smartphone, doesn't mean we've made it.


odiousgambit Dec 03, 2016

My sole idea for a science fiction book is a future where virtual reality takes over for people in everyday life, and we ditch real reality. But you have to be well-to-do, so poor people still flit around. They appear as shadows in your helmet device when you have to deal with them.

This came to me in a dream after spending a day with my car GPS. As it shows your car, the terrain is shown too, so it is a simple version of virtual reality I guess.

onenickelmiracle Dec 04, 2016

I've "studied" quite a bit about this. Anything having to do with multiverse, hologram universe, simulation universe, whatever, I've read and seen everything.

This blows my mind, the Ziph mystery blow my mind. To me, it suggests either our consciousness or world is programmed. It's just too, programmed and nom-random. Check out vsauce on YouTube for this.

Reality isn't as it seems, such a big theme in science fiction now. Westworld, The Matrix, Inception, Buying Time, on and on. Even the Divergent series, where they peel away their reality and find another. The virtual reality reality, some believe, being in a time on the precipice of virtual reality is so unlikely, it's more likely not reality. A universe with a few billion year life span, and catching that moment, unlikely.

It's just the internet and technology make people believe everything is so good, we're masters of reality, rulers of every problem, but we're still in the dark. There is a rule, the more you learn, you learn there is always more than you don't know than what you do know.

Just as the observable universe, which Is farther than we can ever travel, is only a sliver of what exists. It's like an amoeba in a bottle, in the ocean.

Sounds like your idea is like Pokemon Go. The Talisman by Steven King was kind of similar, with overlapping realities. Learned in a dream, can't laugh,done that, as they're intended after all.

I had a dream like that where I dreamed there was a group that literally knew everything, and they were after me because I knew that they knew everythin. Your heart rate, your thoughts, your location, your interactions, your thoughts. My rationale after waking, they would want to hide this ability and never admit it. By admitting it, they lose power and by defending it, they risk it being proven. Basically their best strategy is playing dumb.