Face
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Face
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December 18th, 2013 at 8:07:06 AM permalink
Many good stories. My golf is usually just drinking beers and running over friends' golf balls with the cart to drive them into the ground. Or getting the cart stuck in water/sand traps. Or ripping it through the woods for no reason whatsoever.

You'd think, being a hockey player and quite the ball striker in baseball, that my long game would be my strong point. Nope. I use a driver on long par threes. 140yds to the pin? That's a 5 wood for me XD

Putting is my forte. I don't golf much, maybe once a year for the last 7 years or so, but I have a handful of 50+ footers. My longest was 70+. I'm always good for one ridiculous putt per round.

My "best shot ever" story was a complete fluke. It was a low 300yd par 4, one that rose 60' easy. It was a big damn hill. As always, I hit a worm burner from the tee that only went about 80 yards and sliced off into the rough. To get to the tee, I had to go well over 200 more yards up a huge hill that had a "step" in it, upon which sat a pond that one couldn't see. A pond I always land in if I "go for it".

The group in front of me was putting on the green, so I took my turn. Ain't no way I'm even making the pond, they're completely safe. I grab my 3 iron and settle in to the deep stuff. Pat down the weeds around my ball, aim right at the pond, and WHACK!

Amazingly, I got ahold of it. And of course, headed right for the pond. Of course, right? You play it like you're going to suck because you do, and instead you hit a beauty of a shot that's really garbage because you didn't play it like you were gonna hit it well. I wait to see the confirmation splash, and instead see the ball bounce. "Sweet", I think. I hit it short and maybe it'll bounce over the pond. But the next bounce happens on the face of the next hill. I hit it OVER the pond. Sweet! And when it bounces again, I can't see it. I HIT ALL THE WAY UP THERE.

One of the dudes on the green spins my way and hold his arms up in the air. "Shit", I think. I didn't mean to interupt them, no way I thought I could possibly hit that far, now he's pissed. I meekly trot back to my cart and approach them slowly.

I arrive and stay well back. They finish up their round, retrieve their balls, and start to motor away. As they leave, the same guy throws his arms at me again. "Damn", I think. Really pissed him off. I park, start looking, and can't find my ball anywhere. Not on the fringe, not in the rough, not in the trees...

I head back to the cart, and there. Three Feet From The Cup! Dude holding his arms up was signalling how close I was!! Mr "Driver on Par Threes" knocked one from the rough with a 3 iron damn near 250 yards and almost sunk it. Think I finished with a 96 (?) that day.

And of course... I was golfing alone ><
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beachbumbabs
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beachbumbabs
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December 18th, 2013 at 9:14:12 AM permalink
A priest and golf enthusiast wakes up one Sunday morning to a gorgeous day. It is simply too glorious a morning to spend in church, and the priest, on impulse, decides to play hooky from services and goes out alone to golf. God, who watches over all, summons St. Peter from the Pearly Gates and says, "Watch this". Miraculously, there are no other golfers out on the course, and the priest can play at his own pace. He hits 300 yards straight and true from the first tee, a par 5, lays up at the approach, and chips in for a double eagle. The second hole, a left dogleg 4, he drives down the right side; his ball hits the 150 yard stone marker, bounces high and left, and lands on the fringe, where he putts for an eagle. The next hole, a short par 3, he hits a 7 iron for a hole-in-one. The incredible round continues, while all along, the priest is jumping for joy, praising God, and running the course in his enthusiasm.

St. Peter finally turned to God. "Lord," he said, "This priest is shirking his duty to his flock and playing a game instead. How can You reward him like this? It has to be You; no one can play this well hole after hole! I thought You would punish him with sand traps, water hazards, missed putts, and the like for this transgression!"

God said, quietly, "Think about it, Peter. Who can he tell?"
If the House lost every hand, they wouldn't deal the game.
teliot
teliot
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December 18th, 2013 at 9:17:42 AM permalink
Quote: beachbumbabs

A priest and golf enthusiast wakes up one Sunday morning to a gorgeous day. It is simply too glorious a morning to spend in church, and the priest, on impulse, decides to play hooky from services and goes out alone to golf. God, who watches over all, summons St. Peter from the Pearly Gates and says, "Watch this". Miraculously, there are no other golfers out on the course, and the priest can play at his own place. He hits 300 yards straight and true from the first tee, a par 5, lays up at the approach, and chips in for a double eagle. The second hole, a left dogleg 4, he drives down the right side; his ball hits the 150 yard stone marker, bounces high and left, and lands on the fringe, where he putts for an eagle. The next hole, a short par 3, he hits a 7 iron for a hole-in-one. The incredible round continues, while all along, the priest is jumping for joy, praising God, and running the course in his enthusiasm...."

Alternate ending ...

Until a shot comes where the priest decides to use his 2-iron. He carefully lines up his shot and "duff!" The shot scoots along the ground for about 20 feet and comes to a halt. It's a terrible shot. The priest turns to God and asked "what happened?" God shrugs his shoulders and says, "Not even God knows how to hit a 2-iron."
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beachbumbabs
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beachbumbabs
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December 18th, 2013 at 9:22:36 AM permalink
Yeah, I like that one too! Thanks for the smile, eliot!
If the House lost every hand, they wouldn't deal the game.
Alan
Alan
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December 18th, 2013 at 9:26:13 AM permalink
I thought it was a one iron, or that what Lee Trevino says anyway. I think that's who said it.
1BB
1BB
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December 18th, 2013 at 9:30:50 AM permalink
In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron. Lee Trevino
Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth. - Mahatma Ghandi
charliepatrick
charliepatrick
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December 18th, 2013 at 11:23:28 AM permalink
I've always been rubbish at golf and many years ago some of us went round the local council course. To give you an idea my average would probably be well over 130 (easy par 72). Once, on a par-5, I holed an approach shot from about 90 yards, for a +1 result! Similarly playing darts somehow I once got 60-60-50 which was a fluke considering the 50 was still aiming for the 60.

Given I'm still a complete beginner, I suspect odds of these kinds of things happening to better people are actually higher than we might think.
AxiomOfChoice
AxiomOfChoice
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December 18th, 2013 at 12:49:54 PM permalink
Quote: charliepatrick

Similarly playing darts somehow I once got 60-60-50 which was a fluke considering the 50 was still aiming for the 60.



You hit the board all 3 times? You are a lot better than I am!
Alan
Alan
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January 8th, 2014 at 10:38:49 AM permalink
I know this thread is getting dated, but what the hell...since this is golf related(it started that way...), check this out:

http://newsfixnow.com/2014/01/08/arizona-couple-hit-two-holes-in-one-in-same-round/

and see if the math is correct:
Quote:


What are the odds a husband and wife would sink holes in one in the same round of golf?

Sandy knows, I read online that it was 17 million to 1 odds.


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