Quote: buzzpaffDoc ,is this the same 80 year old man who....
Not sure. Though it could be the same one as:
Quote:The 80-year-old man complained to his doctor that his sex life seemed to be slowing down. The doctor said, "Well at your age you should probably expect some diminishing of your sex drive...when did you first notice this as a problem?" "Oh, last night and then again this morning."
Quote: buzzpaffHopefully someone will shoot me before then.
So is that a reference to the story about the condemned man who was asked how he preferred to die? His reply: "At the age of 96, I want to be shot by a jealous husband."
The shame of youth is that it is wasted on the young. SIGH
One of my favorite musical duos has a song that begins, "Who's that face in the mirror, lookin' back at me?" Here's a link to a mediocre-quality youtube video of them performing the song (with the first word clipped off). Maybe you share some of the sentiments they express in the song.Quote: buzzpaffHey, I am still trying to figure out who the hell that old man is in my mirror.
Quote: DJTeddyBearGrowing old ain't so bad.... particularly when you consider the alternative.
I do like being on this side of grass.
Quick, stupid joke:
A man walks into a bar. He says "Ouch!"
Why not just post the good jokes? Just sayin!
Quote: WongBoAnother thing about stupid jokes is you wish you hadn't bothered reading it.
If a joke makes you laugh, what's the difference?
Quote:Why not just post the good jokes? Just sayin!
I do. A stupid joke can be good.
Quote: buzzpaffNareed is still trying to figure out Who's On First.
I said I don't give a darn!
Oh that's our shortstop!
Quote: buzzpaffNareed is still trying to figure out Who's On First.
Do you know What's on second?
I don't know.Quote: NareedDo you know What's on second?
(Everybody now, in unison:) Third base!
Quote: Doc(Everybody now, in unison:) Third base!
How do you post in unison?
My favorite part goes something like this:
Do you have a first-baseman on first abse?
Certainly!
Then who's playing first?
Absolutely!
When you pay the first-baseman every month, who gets the money?
Every dollar of it.
Who does?
Why not? The man's entitled to it.
Who is?
Absolutely!
Quote: NareedNear daily bump. Please look at the first post.
Quick, stupid joke:
A man walks into a bar. He says "Ouch!"
Two men walk into a bar. The second one should have seen it coming.
A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"
Professor Septimus walks into a bar and orders a dry martinus.
The bartender asks "Don't you mean a 'martini,' doc?"
To which the professor replies: "My good man, if I wanted a double I assure you I would have asked for it."
So, perhaps we could play a round of "can you top this?" at lunch... Just a thought. I can never remember any jokes when pressured to do so.
Overheard in the bridge of the Enterprise:
"Number One, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"I think so, Jean-Luc. But what if the Borg won't wear the nylons."
Come now, Pinky and The Brain can't be satirized ;)
Bonus:
Overheard in every Trek series:
"What are we going to do this week, Captain?"
"The same thing we do every week: Press the reset button!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To lay it on the line.
Q: How many Centauri does it take to screw-in a light bulb?
A: None. They like it in the Shadows.
I can't think of a joke, so I'll post the first of Nareed's Cooking Laws isntead:
1) Knives, stoves, ovens, hot pots and pans and sharp instruments are dangerous. Exercise care at all times.
2) It's best if you buy the ingredients yourself. That way you get what you actually need or want every time. And if you must make substitution they will be to your liking.
3) If possible, sample or taste the ingrediets before using them (naturally this doesn't apply to raw meat, eggs and such)
4) You're cooking, not performing brain surgery. Don't be afraid to experiment or to try new things.
5) Look upon recipes as guidelines, not as absolute rules. This applies even to your own recipes.
That's enough for now.
Very quick joke:
"If it doesn't work, try a bigger hammer" The engineer's motto.
Joke, well, I can't think of a good one. So I'll try a dated one.
Stalin, Beriya and Molotov are involved in a plane crash from which there are no surviors. Who's saved?
The Russian people.
Oh, well....
Being a lapsed Jew, I decided to tell a Jewish joke (of sorts).
Joe is on the subway when a nice old lady asks him "Sir, are you Jewish?"
He replies, "No, ma'am. I'm not."
A few minutes later, the old lady asks "Are you sure?"
"Yes, ma'am, I'm sure."
After the next stop, the old lady approaches again and says "Are you really, really sure?"
Tired of this, joe says "You caught me, ma'am. I am Jewish."
So the old lady tells him, "Funny, you don't look Jewish."
Quote: WizardSorry, but when it comes to gambling with the Wizard tiles always gets suggested.
I hadn't chimed in on this yet, since I wasn't 100% sure I was going to, but I would like to see if we could get an all WoVCon table of Tiles going. I'm game, as long as the limits are $25 or less. I'll bank for up to a table total of $100, but over that, and I'll just be playing. I think Tiles with the Wizard would be AMAZING!
Quote: TiltpoulI hadn't chimed in on this yet, since I wasn't 100% sure I was going to, but I would like to see if we could get an all WoVCon table of Tiles going.
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. There are two problems with the idea:
1) As far as I know there are no tiles at all Downtown. That would mean moving either to the Strip or somewhere off-Strip, like Palace Station (I think they have tiles).
2) No idea how many of those attending even know how to play tiles. Two for sure, you and the Wizard. No idea about anyone else. Me, I haven't even the foggiest notion about it.
As someone who has played it but is still very much a novice, I would say that tiles is NOT the type of fun, social game you'd want to play as a group - particularly when there will be members of the group that are clueless about the game.
Frankly, stick to BJ or craps.
As I recall, on all previous WoVCon editions, including the Wizard's "coffees," the activities were suggested by the organizer. Tradition would dictate I pick one to my liking and be done. However, this time I think it would be best to do what the Wizard suggested.
So the post-lunch activity will be BJ at nearby El Cortez.
There are other reasons besides pleasing the Wizard, but I don't think it's necessary to list them.
If any of you have objections to the choice of game and venue, now is the time to bring them up.
Quote: NareedIf any of you have objections to the choice of game and venue, now is the time to bring them up.
No objections to the game of choice, though El Cortez isn't one place that I'm all that keen about.
I still would like to get a Tiles game in somewhere... preferably with a $25 min or lower. Rapid Craps sounds like some fun too, though I imagine on the weekend, we may not be able to get on it together.
Quote: TiltpoulI still would like to get a Tiles game in somewhere... preferably with a $25 min or lower. Rapid Craps sounds like some fun too, though I imagine on the weekend, we may not be able to get on it together.
I can't help you with tiles, sorry. But as to Rapid Craps, when will you be in Vegas? I'll be there May 7th/17th and I do like RC. We could get totegether to play any time between those dates. I think the table opens at noon, though.
Oh, the choice for ElCo was also the Wizard's, but it's clear why if you arrange the BJ survey by house edge.
Quote: NareedI can't help you with tiles, sorry. But as to Rapid Craps, when will you be in Vegas? I'll be there May 7th/17th and I do like RC. We could get totegether to play any time between those dates. I think the table opens at noon, though.
Oh, the choice for ElCo was also the Wizard's, but it's clear why if you arrange the BJ survey by house edge.
If the objective is to minimize the house edge at blackjack, without concern for the nature of the casino, we should just ride out to Hacienda and play a $2 game with a 0.02% edge (according to the survey). Last year before WoVCon I, Croupier and I played low-stakes craps there while his wife played blackjack. We were on our way out to visit Hoover Dam and stopped at Hacienda for brunch along the way.
As for Rapid Craps, I agree we should look for an opportunity to get a few folks together (separate from meeting at Four Queens on Saturday). I don't know whether we need to set a day/time in advance or just figure out how best to communicate with each other while we are in town. PM through the forum is one way, but when I travel, my mobile phone is my only internet access, and that touchscreen is hit or miss at navigating this forum very well.
Quote: DocIf the objective is to minimize the house edge at blackjack, without concern for the nature of the casino, we should just ride out to Hacienda and play a $2 game with a 0.02% edge (according to the survey).
Sure. But in order to do that we'd need to set up transportation and other things. That gets too complicated. ElCo is within walking distance of the 4Q (aren't abbreviations sophisticated?), and getting back from there is easy whether you have a car or not.
Quote:As for Rapid Craps, I agree we should look for an opportunity to get a few folks together (separate from meeting at Four Queens on Saturday). I don't know whether we need to set a day/time in advance or just figure out how best to communicate with each other while we are in town. PM through the forum is one way, but when I travel, my mobile phone is my only internet access, and that touchscreen is hit or miss at navigating this forum very well.
I'd suggest setting it up in advance. I expect I'll bring along my office cell phone, but won't be using it except in case of dire emergency (roaming charges are murder). I may bring along a laptop, but then again I may not. If I don't, then the only way to reach me is to leave a message at my hotel.
Come to think of it, I should perhaps get a temproary, pre-paid local cell phone. I recall seeing a vending machine at McCarrran in '08 while waiting for the luggage. Any info on that subject would be greatly appreciated.
Quote: NareedCome to think of it, I should perhaps get a temproary, pre-paid local cell phone. I recall seeing a vending machine at McCarrran in '08 while waiting for the luggage. Any info on that subject would be greatly appreciated.
Never mind :) I did a quick search online, and it's clear I can easily get one at any Walgreens, CVS, Walmart or Sam's Club among others.
The cousin is getting married in Vegas that weekend, so I'm PROBABLY going..just gotta figure out where I want to stay (looking like Silverton or Boulder Station; either of them are $200 for the weekend)
Quote: TIMSPEEDjust gotta figure out where I want to stay (looking like Silverton or Boulder Station; either of them are $200 for the weekend)
I'll be staying at the Rio for WoVCon][. I'm not sure which nights of the weekend your $200 covers at those other places, but the Hot Deals rates posted for the Rio in May include:
Thursday 10th $45
Friday 11th $55
Saturday 12th $55
Sunday 13th $35
Monday 14th $35.
Just sign in at their web site and click on Hot Deals.
Quote: DocI'll be staying at the Rio for WoVCon][. I'm not sure which nights of the weekend your $200 covers at those other places, but the Hot Deals rates posted for the Rio in May include:
Thursday 10th $45
Friday 11th $55
Saturday 12th $55
Sunday 13th $35
Monday 14th $35.
Just sign in at their web site and click on Hot Deals.
THANKS!
Quote: DocI'll be staying at the Rio for WoVCon][.
As stated earlier, I too will be at Rio from Thursday night until Monday afternoon. If you'd like to get together to play Tiles, I'm game!
Quote: TiltpoulAs stated earlier, I too will be at Rio from Thursday night until Monday afternoon. If you'd like to get together to play Tiles, I'm game!
Thanks for the invite, but I've never learned that game; I can't even manage to remember the values of the tiles. I'd be like a poker player who can't remember the difference between two pair and a flush. I've just about abandoned every game except craps and blackjack, and that latter one is a rarity for me.
Are you putting a group together? Do you have an evening picked out for that show? We don't have specific plans yet except for the WoVCon][ things on Saturday -- I'll be there, but my wife declines to go to El Cortez -- so we are open for most any other evening during our visit. We will arrive in Las Vegas late afternoon on Wed 5/9 and depart mid-day Tuesday 5/15.
Anyone else interested in being part of such a group?
Quote: DocOn the other hand, Tiltpoul, I just put 2 and 2 together and remembered that you are the one who mentioned "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" being performed downtown. My wife and I would both be interested in seeing that, but my brain had been muddled by planning for the trip we just now got home from, so I hadn't mentioned it to you.
Are you putting a group together? Do you have an evening picked out for that show? We don't have specific plans yet except for the WoVCon][ things on Saturday -- I'll be there, but my wife declines to go to El Cortez -- so we are open for most any other evening during our visit. We will arrive in Las Vegas late afternoon on Wed 5/9 and depart mid-day Tuesday 5/15.
Anyone else interested in being part of such a group?
Okay, so the group going to the Whorehouse *wink wink* will be Doc, Mrs. Doc, and myself... I get to town on Thursday evening, I should be able to check out the availability before I get there.
I'll be at Rio Friday night if anyone wants to hit up the crap table (or we can all go over to Jokers Wild or whatever)
Quote: TIMSPEEDIs there an official list of who's going??
I'll be at Rio Friday night if anyone wants to hit up the crap table (or we can all go over to Jokers Wild or whatever)
Nareed's latest official list of expected attendees is in the first post of this thread. He apparently hasn't seen your latest post there and changed your status to "definite".
I should be up for craps at the Rio unless (1) their Friday night minimums scare me or (2) that is the night that Tiltpoul's group goes to see the play downtown. If (1) applies, we could go across the street to Gold Coast, where the tariffs tend to be lower. Maybe we can talk Tiltpoul into playing craps instead of tiles.
Let's work out details as the time approaches. Does your "I'll be at Rio" mean you will be staying there or just going there to play that night?
Quote: TiltpoulI'm down for some fun on Friday evening, cheap craps sounds good to me. Saturday night was my plans for the show, so $5 craps sounds good to me. They won't have that at Rio, so going to Joker's Wild or Gold Coast works for me.
We might as well make it a WoVCon 1.5 ;)
I'll take $5 craps, too, preferably at the Gold Coast.
Quote: TiltpoulOkay, so the group going to the Whorehouse *wink wink* will be Doc, Mrs. Doc, and myself... I get to town on Thursday evening, I should be able to check out the availability before I get there.
I just checked on the Tix4Tonight website to see if TBLWiTexas is available at a discount. It doesn't appear to be on the availability list, which kind of surprises me. I suppose if the show is new, it's getting some foot traffic, but Broadway shows rarely sell out in Vegas. Further, the show is rather dated. I'll keep checking, otherwise the going rate is about $55 a seat.
Quote: TiltpoulI'll keep checking, otherwise the going rate is about $55 a seat.
Count the two of us in at a rate of $55 each (plus the heavy tax add on, if that's not included in your figure). If tickets are available at less than that, great. If you plan to make some kind of reservation, let me know whether I need to put up some money in advance. If you don't do anything in advance, I can check at a Tix4Tonight kiosk when I get to town on Wednesday. Let's just keep in touch on this and hope that others will choose to join us. Nareed has already told me that musical theater is not her thing.