Mr. Well-to-Do Vanishes [off-topic]

I know [not very closely] a woman who did the online dating bit and met somebody who had put in his profile that he made a six figure income, owned two houses, a couple of fancy cars, etc. Well, she got pregnant, had this baby, and they didnt marry. Modern times I guess; although from a home with dysfunctional aspects, she is not a member of a disadvantaged ethnic group. I say this to establish that she would not have felt having a child out of wedlock was OK within her peer group. The guy is to pay child support instead [I don't know the whole story].

It seems it didnt take long for him to miss support payments. And it is out now that Mr. Well-to-Do fabricated all that stuff. What is it about the dating scene that the men lie so frequently and the women are so frequently gullible? It was so in my day too, I was always astonished what whoppers some of these guys were perpetrating when they would go to a singles bar or whatever. I never could do that stuff.

Quote: odiousgambit

What is it about the dating scene that the men lie so frequently and the women are so frequently gullible?

I think Game Theory explains a lot of it. The man's risk vs. reward of fabricating a backstory is pitted against the woman's risk vs. reward of trusting a potential mate. Unfortunately, many women underestimate their true risk, handing out rewards without securing their objectives. (insert something about buying cows and free milk here).

I remember watching a documentary on some fly (don't remember what kind) which would dangle a prey item as part of a mating ritual. Sometimes the prey item was viable, other times it was merely a husk. Point is, it would attract a female who would take the prey and investigate it, and in doing so would be occupied long enough for the male to jump on and mate. Seems to me what he did was similar to offering prey that turned out to be a husk i.e. only an illusion of benefit. While we as humans may be more advanced, complex, insert generalization here, our sexual process is something that I would argue as being very un-evolved. Most of us aspire to act in a way condusive to a proper society, but we are still slave to the utmost of biological urges - to make more of ourselves. He, in my opinion, is dishonest, deceptive, repugnant, lacking in class, void of propriety, and at the same time just about perfectly normal. Why are men such deceivers and why are women so gullible? Because they can be, and because they allow themselves to be.

There are a number of other intelligent, hyper-intensive, deeply psychological ways to explain this phenomenon. In the end, though, the simplest answer is usually the most precise, and it's one you already know. "Sometimes it be like that"