Feeling Pretty Down Today
I don't know what life is going to be like without him. He's a large happy part of my life.
He used to always watch out the window next to the door for me to get home from work. Then he'd run to the mud room and whine by the garage until I came in. He could recognize my car in an instant. He never had a clock and he always knew when it was close for me to get home.
I don't know how to say goodbye.
Currently we have a 16 year 3 month old who is also 100% blind and has been for nearly 5 years now. He is getting to the point where he cant control his bowels or maybe just doesn't care. A few weeks ago he was sitting on my lap and next thing I know I was soaking wet. Wtf, he didn't even attempt to go outside. For the last month we have been having these talks but don't know what to do. He doesn't appear to be in pain but his quality of life is definitely not great.
Here is our king "digit" al
You can only say goodbye without regrets if his quality of life has deteriorated so far that it's the kindest thing to let him go painlessly. If he takes more care now, but isn't in pain, then he simply takes more care. That's part of your debt towards unconditional love. It has to be about him.
You will never get over losing him, not completely. So just let it wash through you and leave happy memories after you grieve.
You need to be there if you possibly can, to hold him, talk to him, look in his eyes with love while they give him the shot. For both of you, so he knows he's loved as he leaves, and for you to know he crossed the rainbow bridge in peace.
Quote: GWAEI He is getting to the point where he cant control his bowels or maybe just doesn't care. A few weeks ago he was sitting on my lap and next thing I know I was soaking wet. Wtf, he didn't even attempt to go outside. For the last month we have been having these talks but don't know what to do. He doesn't appear to be in pain but his quality of life is definitely not great.
I can understand and empathize with that. Ty has been incontinent now for 2 years. We found a really great set of doggy diapers (cloth that are washable).
Here's the ones we use at Amazon
They work extremely well and he adjusted to them very quickly. I recommend the smallest and working your way up. We also bought a metal scent bin where we store the used ones and then when he gets down to 2 or 3 I just wash them. We started with 8 and found that was a perfect number to start with. There are a lot of dogs that are incontinent and can still be cared for.
I really appreciate the support and I hope this helps you out a little.
Quote: beachbumbabsA few thoughts, since you brought sympathetic tears to my eyes. Been there half a dozen times.
You can only say goodbye without regrets if his quality of life has deteriorated so far that it's the kindest thing to let him go painlessly. If he takes more care now, but isn't in pain, then he simply takes more care. That's part of your debt towards unconditional love. It has to be about him.
You will never get over losing him, not completely. So just let it wash through you and leave happy memories after you grieve.
You need to be there if you possibly can, to hold him, talk to him, look in his eyes with love while they give him the shot. For both of you, so he knows he's loved as he leaves, and for you to know he crossed the rainbow bridge in peace.
Again, I appreciate the support Beach.
I completely agree. For me, it has come down to is he in any noticeable pain or is he having issues? Only recently has he changed considerably. He used to be able to walk perfectly fine, although he sometimes would get stuck somewhere because he got a little lost. However, in the morning instead of walking around and doing his business or even slowly walking, he just lays down in the grass and closes his eyes and goes to sleep. It's the saddest thing I've ever had to see. I notice he's a lot more tender now when I pick him up and move him so his arthritis has probably gotten much worse.
I have to plan things but my estimate is within a week or two tops.
I will be doing everything you mentioned in the last paragraph although I don't know how I will keep from balling my eyes out. I'm so torn right now. I really hope that there's another place he's going to and that wherever it is, he gets to be a part of something special.
Thanks again.
Quote: GWAEI
Gorgeous dog by the way.
By sheer happenstance, I came across this essay by Ben Hur Chapman.
The full version is easily found, but this excerpt more than does it justice.
One best place to bury a dog.
If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have, he will come to you when you call. Come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death., down the well remembered path, and to your side again. And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel,they should not growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he is yours and belongs there.
People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper, people who may never really had a dog.
Smile at them, for you shall know something that is hidden from them and which is well worth knowing.
The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master.
Been there more than once, and it never gets easier...
Knowing you gave them love and friendship helps get you through.
They had a better life with you than without you..
for the rest, still feeling the pain of the missing dog, it really is an amazing cure
After it was all said an done, I felt guilty that I put off the end as long as I did. His last week was full of pain but I kept holding onto false hope.
So, my advice is to not deny the mourning process. It will be good for you to go through it. And for the dog's sake, don't postpone what you may have to do when it comes time that he is in pain all day long. Say your goodbyes and hold him through it. It won't be easy, but the facing the grief head on is the best way. That's the downside to having pets -- we outlive them.
My buddy had a pit bull he loved, and the dog got sick and was dying, no quetion.
As the hound was on his last legs, he took him to the woods, hugged him, talked to him, and shot him in the head while still petting and talking to him.
I had mixed feelings about it, but who am I to tell someone how to say goodbye to man's best friend?
without him, we're together 24/7. He
loves the bed, he could live on the stupid
bed.
Quote: MrVThis might sound a bit harsh, but it happened.
My buddy had a pit bull he loved, and the dog got sick and was dying, no quetion.
As the hound was on his last legs, he took him to the woods, hugged him, talked to him, and shot him in the head while still petting and talking to him.
I had mixed feelings about it, but who am I to tell someone how to say goodbye to man's best friend?
I don't recommend being the direct agent of that action yourself with something that you have bonded with. I have had to do that in my day and it really sticks with you. Much better to enlist someone else.
Quote: WizardI feel your pain. I've outlived quite a few pets. The hardest loss was our cat Siamese cat Simon. I'm not much of a crying man but the days leading up to his last were very tough. We all said goodbye to him as a family before I took him to the vet who "helped him go." I cried much more over than that losing my father. Go figure that.
After it was all said an done, I felt guilty that I put off the end as long as I did. His last week was full of pain but I kept holding onto false hope.
So, my advice is to not deny the mourning process. It will be good for you to go through it. And for the dog's sake, don't postpone what you may have to do when it comes time that he is in pain all day long. Say your goodbyes and hold him through it. It won't be easy, but the facing the grief head on is the best way. That's the downside to having pets -- we outlive them.
When I put ours down I took her myself and my wife and son stayed home. I figured no big deal, just take her in say good bye and go to work. I basically had a meltdown with the vet and cried like a baby. Had to call off work. It was tough. I can't remember crying even once at any of my grandparents, uncles, or friends funeral. Maybe because they were already gone and or something.
I am dreading when our current dog goes because my 4 and 2 year old will need some explaining. Our 4 year old was only 18 months so he was oblivious at the time.
Quote: GWAEWhen I put ours down I took her myself and my wife and son stayed home. I figured no big deal, just take her in say good bye and go to work. I basically had a meltdown with the vet and cried like a baby. Had to call off work. It was tough. I can't remember crying even once at any of my grandparents, uncles, or friends funeral. Maybe because they were already gone and or something.
I am dreading when our current dog goes because my 4 and 2 year old will need some explaining. Our 4 year old was only 18 months so he was oblivious at the time.
Very similar situation here. We all said good-bye and then I took the cat by myself to the vet's office. It was a very hard day up to that point. However, about an hour after the fact I started to feel better that at least his suffering was over and it was all over with. Our kids were about 4, 8, and 12 at the time. I don't think the 4-year-old really absorbed it because she didn't understand death. But the other two were hit pretty hard it seemed. However, I have no regrets about being truthful with them about it and letting them say their good-byes and feel the pain.
Between that and my dad, I think dying is worse than death.
Put her on the chopping block and decapitated the old bird with an axe.
Quote: MrVPut her on the chopping block and decapitated the old bird with an axe.
Hopefully she didn't live as long as Mike the Headless Chicken.
Quote: WizardHopefully she didn't live as long as Mike the Headless Chicken.
Possibly where the phrase "running around like a chicken with its head cut off" came from.
This thread has now become frightening. I used to have a fish named Marvin ......Quote: TigerWuI'm almost convinced that losing a dog is worse than losing a human.
Quote: beachbumbabs
You need to be there if you possibly can, to hold him, talk to him, look in his eyes with love while they give him the shot. For both of you, so he knows he's loved as he leaves, and for you to know he crossed the rainbow bridge in peace.
We just recently, within 3 months of each other, lost both of our black labs aged 17 and 15.
The 17 year-old just got to the point he couldn't get up without our help.
While it was hard letting go, the process to put him down was made easier by something we learned on the National Geographic Show, The Incredible Dr. Pol, which airs on Saturday nights. That was to sedate him to the point where he was actually asleep before giving the fatal shot. I was there for it all, and I am pretty sure doing it that way was easier on me than just doing the direct route.
Might ask your vet when the time comes.
Quote: wellwellwellWe just recently, within 3 months of each other, lost both of our black labs aged 17 and 15.
The 17 year-old just got to the point he couldn't get up without our help.
While it was hard letting go, the process to put him down was made easier by something we learned on the National Geographic Show, The Incredible Dr. Pol, which airs on Saturday nights. That was to sedate him to the point where he was actually asleep before giving the fatal shot. I was there for it all, and I am pretty sure doing it that way was easier on me than just doing the direct route.
Might ask your vet when the time comes.
I did that with one dog. I thought it was much worse. The Vet injected her and left the room. Pasha started pacing and slowly losing control of her legs. It took a few minutes to kick in.
Never again. I've been with three of my dogs, and this was the worst.
Anyway it's done is not good for the owner.
Pet lives are just like people's, just shorter. So it's like raising a child but this one will not outlive you and I don't think there is a loss greater than losing a child. I think that pets become such a part of our lives and we don't even realize it till they are gone.
Quote:Pet lives are just like people's, just shorter.
Parrots and tortoises often outlive their owners.
Quote: MrVParrots and tortoises often outlive their owners.
Foul-mouthed parrot witnessed his owner's murder?
Quote: MrVParrots and tortoises often outlive their owners.
Fish too. Koi can live 200+ years:
I appreciate all of the kind and empathetic comments and thoughts. It makes me feel better to know I'm not alone.
Take care.
But they are not sentient creatures.
Unlike humans, they've no fear of death as they cannot form the concept.
Scant consolation, I know.
When I lost my poodle in 2005 I got another one two months later. I couldn't think of a new name so I named it the same name as the one I lost--Sticker. Then, Sticker passed away last June, 10 days after I went into the hospital with leukemia. This passed January, I got another poodle, photo above, and I named him Sticker.
And I agree, it can be harder losing a pet than a family member.
Sticker learning to drive, April, 2016.
I always hesitated to get the same breed as I'd unfairly end up comparing it to the dog that lives on I'm heart.
I may get another Shepherd if something happens ..
Quote: MrVWe often tend to anthropomorphize our pets, which is understandable as they often become "like family."
But they are not sentient creatures.
Unlike humans, they've no fear of death as they cannot form the concept.
Scant consolation, I know.
I'm going to disagree with some of this. Dogs are self-aware, sentient beings. They mourn when someone they cared about is gone. They sense and empathize with their human ' s moods, and take behavioral cues from facial expressions, tone of voice, posture, gestures, body heat, respiration, heartbeat, and smells. They have many emotions, happy, sad, fearful, angry, depressed, excited, bored. Not human, no, but thinking feeling beings.
I agree that they don't conceptualize death or an afterlife, but I don't understand either of those very well myself, so I have no expectations in that area for them. I do know it matters enormously that they leave in loving arms, rather than with strangers around them. Several years volunteering at the Humane Society demonstrated that to me beyond a doubt.
Quote: JoelDezeMy elderly puppy is departing tomorrow morning for a place, I can only hope, is peaceful and better for him. He's had a long (18 years) life and has given me some of the happiest moments in my own. He's been loving, loyal, attentive, and has sat with me through many dark hours. Now I will be sitting through one of his. I truly hope there is a warm receptive and hopeful light at the end of his journey. We are all but poor players with our hours upon the stage of life but his hour was full of song and laughter. I can only applaud silently and wipe away my tears slowly, counting the seconds until his performance has ended. Love is the most powerful of all emotions for it attacks at once the head, the heart, and the body. I love my puppy and will always love him in death as I have in life.
Very well put. I empathize with your pain.
Quote: JoelDezeMy elderly puppy is departing tomorrow morning for a place, I can only hope, is peaceful and better for him. He's had a long (18 years) life and has given me some of the happiest moments in my own. He's been loving, loyal, attentive, and has sat with me through many dark hours. Now I will be sitting through one of his. I truly hope there is a warm receptive and hopeful light at the end of his journey. We are all but poor players with our hours upon the stage of life but his hour was full of song and laughter. I can only applaud silently and wipe away my tears slowly, counting the seconds until his performance has ended. Love is the most powerful of all emotions for it attacks at once the head, the heart, and the body. I love my puppy and will always love him in death as I have in life.
Thanks for making me cry at work.
Godspeed little doggie....the rainbow bridge awaits....
Quote: MrVWe often tend to anthropomorphize our pets, which is understandable as they often become "like family."
.
Good grief. It's a fact that dogs feel
and express at least 30 of the same
emotions we do, that's why we love
them and that's why they're family.
All you have to do is be close to a
dog for awhile to find out. Not a
dog tied up in the backyard, a dog
that eats and sleeps and goes with
you everywhere. My dog is as much
a person to me as anybody I know.
Certainly more of a person than you
are, that's for sure.
There's no people like dog people. Go
to a dog park, you'll meet consistently
the best people you'll find anywhere.
The love of a dog and your love for
him changes you in ways you can't
imagine.
Quote: beachbumbabsI'm going to disagree with some of this. Dogs are self-aware, sentient beings. They mourn when someone they cared about is gone. They sense and empathize with their human ' s moods, and take behavioral cues from facial expressions, tone of voice, posture, gestures, body heat, respiration, heartbeat, and smells. They have many emotions, happy, sad, fearful, angry, depressed, excited, bored. Not human, no, but thinking feeling beings.
Dogs will openly give to you what humans are
reluctant to. And their love and their loyalty
is amazing to behold. Mickey Roarke went
thru a bad stretch in his career when he wasn't
making movies and had problems. When he
made a comeback and won an award, who
did he thank? His dogs. He said they were the
only ones who didn't desert him, that loved him
no matter what he was going through. You have
to be a dog owner to understand what he means.
Quote: EvenBobGood grief. It's a fact that dogs feel
and express at least 30 of the same
emotions we do, that's why we love
them and that's why they're family.
All you have to do is be close to a
dog for awhile to find out. Not a
dog tied up in the backyard, a dog
that eats and sleeps and goes with
you everywhere. My dog is as much
a person to me as anybody I know.
Certainly more of a person than you
are, that's for sure.
There's no people like dog people. Go
to a dog park, you'll meet consistently
the best people you'll find anywhere.
The love of a dog and your love for
him changes you in ways you can't
imagine.
I read somewhere a long time ago thay dogs do have emotions they are just short lived and they don't carry a grudge so to speak. I don't believe that, spend time around a dog from the shelter that was beaten and you will see they hold a grudge. Anyways, I also learned that when you are away the dog will think about you all day until you return. You are supposed to give the dog affection as soon as you get home or they will feel abandoned.
All dogs to to heaven, all gamblers to to hell. You better start teaching him roullet .Quote: EvenBobDogs will openly give to you what humans are
reluctant to. And their love and their loyalty
is amazing to behold. Mickey Roarke went
thru a bad stretch in his career when he wasn't
making movies and had problems. When he
made a comeback and won an award, who
did he thank? His dogs. He said they were the
only ones who didn't desert him, that loved him
no matter what he was going through. You have
to be a dog owner to understand what he means.
Quote: MrVParrots and tortoises often outlive their owners.
So can cactus.
Quote: Greasyjohn"If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." Will Rogers
"I've been around people and I've been
around dogs. I prefer dogs." Charles DeGaulle
Starting with stray abandoned puppies I found when I was 5-10 years old.
We lived in the country, on a highway, I buried them as they got caught in the highway in traffic.
About 10 we got a dog from a preacher friend, half beagle half Bassett hound. Great dog.
My grandfather accidently backed over Patches in our driveway when she was about 15.
I buried her with my previous dogs, in my dog cemetary.
A few years later I got a cocker spaniel, the wife and I named her Brandy.
She slept between us in our bed for 'bout ten years.
First thing in the morning when I woke up, I didn't get a kiss from my wife, I got a full face lick from Brandy.
When the wife left she took Brandy with her. I gave her some $$ and kept the little house.
When I came home after work I wasn't surprised my wife wasn't there, her car wasn't there.
But I was hit with a gut punch when I opened the door and Brandy wasn't there to welcome me home.
That was all a very long time ago. I have not invested myself in a dog since then.
Goldfish are easier ;-)
