You Better Know The Rules in White Sulphur Springs

Part 1

"That damn girl always costs me money!" River Johnny

Delia walked into the Liberty Bar and ordered a crown blaster. She was looking for River Johnny. She jumped up on the foot rail of the bar and stared over the heads back to the game. Johnny was in the middle of a hand. "There that SOB is" she muttered. Delia was from Springfield, Oregon but lived in Lolo, Montana. She was a mid-forties brunette, drop dead gorgeous, coke bottle figure. An ex-stripper that thumped the bible. Which meant she was equally adept at quoting bible scripture as she was pounding a man for his money. Tom, the bartender, delivered her drink. She was also a compulsive gambler.

Tom had been having a boring shift. But with Delia in the house he decided to have some fun. He went back to the poker game to see if anyone wanted a drink. "Hey, Johnny! Your squeeze is here!" he said as he grabbed some empties. Johnny jerked his head up and stared down the bar. "So that bitch is back!" Tall, stocky and blondish grey, Johnny was a natural born card player from Bossier City, Louisiana. He played every game well. He played everywhere at one time or another, the South, the Midwest, Nevada, California. But he called Montana home, big sky, wide open spaces. Johnny gambled for a living.

The folks at the bar knew Delia and Johnny well. They had been watching the poker player's and the ex-stripper's off and on again, love and hate, fireworks of a relationship for two years. So their heads were going back and forth between Delia at the bar and Johnny back in the game to see which one would make the first move. Johnny showed first weakness. He killed the last of his second Bud of the day. "Well, boys, I've got to take a trip to the little boy's room." Jim, the poker dealer, smiled a knowing smile. He and the players knew Johnny was through playing cards for the night.

Johnny stood up then walked down the bar towards the restroom door. He stopped at the door and looked at Delia. She stared back. They stared each other down for a full minute. Finally, Johnny said "Come here, girl and give me a kiss." She obliged. "Game on!" Tom the bartender said to the barflies. They all smiled their knowing smiles.

Delia and Johnny walked to the bar. "Tom, give me another Bud, and Delia wants another blaster" Johnny said as he put his arm around her. Johnny couldn't help himself. He bent over and put a lip lock on her. Jim the poker dealer pulled down Johnny's chips. Tom delivered the money. "Get a room!" he said. "We're tired of watching you two swap spit!" Per the usual, Delia and Johnny wound up upstairs in Johnny's room.

Part 2 coming up....

Part 2

Around noon the next day Delia and Johnny were back down at the bar having coffee.

"Sweetheart, are you gonna come home with me?" Delia asked.
"Do you think we can get along this time? You let me do all the work?" Johnny responded.
"Well, all we can do is try."

Johnny thought for a few minutes.

"Hey! I've got an idea. Have you ever been to Ringling?" Johnny asked.
"Ringling? Where's that?"
"It's a little town down south of White Sulphur Springs. Jimmy Buffet wrote a song about the place."
"Buffet lives in Florida or someplace."
"Yeah, but he spent time in Montana before he got famous. He used to do a lot of gigs in Livingston. He's got a sister that's got a big ranch in the Musselshell. Instead of going down the interstate through Helena we can go out east on 87 then south on 89. We'll go through White Sulphur Springs then stop at Ringling for some fun at the bar. Then we can go on down to Livingston and get a hotel room for the night. It's a straight shot from there to Missoula. It's be a fun little trip, honey."
"Okay! Let's do it!" she replied.

"Back in a minute" Johnny whispered. He ran upstairs to his room, grabbed his few changes of clothes, and the toiletries, and stuffed them into his backpack. Next, he hit the hotel desk and dropped off the keys. "You've still got a week left, Johnny" Dave the hotel clerk said. "Forget it, I'm outta here, Dave. See you next time. Johnny headed back to the bar where Delia sat patiently.

"Taking a little trip?" Kelly the day bartender asked when she seen Johnny's backpack.
"Yeah, I'll be playing in Missoula but living in Lolo."
"So you're leaving us?" asked Jack the old regular sitting just a few stools away.
"Yeah, but Delia and I will be stopping in here and there, Jack. You ready to go, babe?" Johnny looked at Delia.
"Yes! Let's go!"

Delia and Johnny walked out the door. Johnny waving as the door closed.
"He'll be back in a week" Kelly said to the barflies. They all laughed.
"Yep, he'll be back in less than a week" Jack said. "Anybody want some action?"
"I'll take the under" Kelly quipped.

Johnny jumped in the passenger side and slung his backpack to the back seat. Delia jumped in the driver's side, cranked the van up and sped away.

"So what's up with Ringling?" Delia asked as she turned the radio down.
" Its just a little hole in the wall ghost town. Only about 40 people left. They've got a claptrap old bar there. Its a juke joint. They got this huge mountain of beer cans outside the bar. Been there for years. There's this old abandoned church. An old abandoned jail. Buffet put all that stuff in his song. At least that's how it used to be. I ain't been down that way in a lot of years."
"They got a poker table there?" Uh,oh, she's starting already, now that she's got me isolated, Johnny thought.
"No!" he responded.

There was a long pause in the conversation until they passed the welcome sign for White Sulphur Springs. It was getting on to sundown.
"How 'bout this town?" Delia asked.
"How 'bout this town, what?" Johnny asked back.
"Do they have a poker table?"
"No!" Johnny responded.

When they passed the Cattlemen's Club Delia saw the neon side in the window that said "POKER." Johnny saw it too. She hit the brakes and pulled to the side of the road. Damn, Johnny thought.

"So they don't have a poker game here" Delia smiled wryly.
"Delia I ain't putting you in no more games."
"C'mon, Honey."
"No!"
"If you cared about me you would."
"Delia, poker is a business! It ain't about having fun and burning off chips!"
"I wanna play some poker!" she pouted.
"Delia, you don't know how to play poker! I've coached you to high heaven and what do you do? You sit down and play every stinking hand! You're the Will Rogers of poker, girl! You never seen a hand you didn't like!"
"I said I want to play some poker!" she said in a stern voice.
"Delia, you're a damn calling station. All you do is call, call, call! That's all you know how to do! Call your damn chips off!"
"Babeeee! I want to play some poker!"
"Look! Delia! I make about $30 an hour in a good game. You burn off a rack an hour! The math don't work! I ain't putting you in!"
"Get out!"
"What?"
"GET THE HELL OUT!" she screamed.

Part 3 coming up....

The Conclusion

Johnny reached in the back seat, grabbed his backpack, then opened the door and stepped out. "I ain't taking no phone calls, no emails, no texts. And, Delia. Don't come back to Great Falls!" he yelled. He slammed the door. Delia hit the gas pedal. Tires screaming, she spun gravel all over him. The last he saw before she topped the hill she was delivering him some sign language from out of the driver's side window.

Johnny looked across the road to the Big Foot Motel. Vacancy sign flashing. "That damn girl always costs me money!" he swore at himself. I guess I'll have to spend the night here and get the Great Falls Cab to come and get me in the morning, he thought. He looked back at the Cattlemen's Club. I guess I'll just have to make these White Sulphur hillbillies pay for everything, he thought again. He checked into the hotel, threw his pack in the room, then walked over to the Club.

The poker table was on the right when he walked in. No game. "What time does the game start?" Johnny asked the bartender as he ordered a Bud.
"Well, its been slow lately. But you're here. I'll make some phone calls." The bartender walked down the bar to the phone. He returned a few minutes later.

"No one seems too interested tonight. My name's Joe. What's yours?"
"Johnny." They shook hands but the bartender gave Johnny an inquisitive look. He backed up and stared some more. Finally he asked

"Are you River Johnny?"
"Nice guess. That's what some people call me."
"Nice to meet you, Johnny. They say you're damn good."
"I do okay" Johnny responded.

Joe went back to the telephone. He returned a few minutes later and said "They'll be some folks down here shortly."
"What do you folks play here?" Johnny asked.
"Lowball."
"California Lowball?"
"Yep."

California Lowball is a five card draw game. Everyone is dealt five cards, then there is a betting round. You can draw up to five replacement cards. Then there is a final betting round. The lowest hand wins the pot. The best hand is Ace-two-three-four-five. It's called a "bicycle" or a "wheel."

Fred, the chief of police, showed up, along with Carl, the town barber. And Glen who owned the feed store. A couple of cowboys drifted in. Then Hooker Bob, the dealer walked in. Johnny got introduced all around and the game was on.

"This is California Lowball, 4 and 8 betting, 2 and 4 blinds" Hooker Bob said as he shuffled up. "Damn, boys!" said Fred. "We get to play poker with River Johnny. Heard all about you, Johnny. They say you're tough."
"I do okay" said Johnny.

Johnny bought in for a hundred and was steadily chipping up. An hour later hip chip stack was up to $160. Then he got into a hand with Glen. The feed store owner open raised in early position. Johnny looked down at four wheel cards and a paint. Glen's got a good draw, Johnny thought, but three-bet the pot. Glen called. They each drew one card. Johnny caught the three making the wheel. Glen bet out. Johnny raised. Glen reraised. Johnny thought for a second.

"Bob, how many raise here" Johnny asked.
"Unlimited raises when it's heads up." Bob responded.

Well I've got no reason to quit raising here, Johnny thought. The best he can do is tie me. But if I catch him with a 64 I'm gonna get to spend his money. They kept raising each other until Johnny's whole stack was in the pot.

"Roll 'em over, boys" said Hooker Bob.
"I got a wheel!" Johnny said as he rolled over his hand.
"I got a blizzard" Glen said as he exposed his hand.

Johnny busted out laughing when he seen Glen's hand. It was all face cards, the worst hand in the game. Hooker Bob started shoving the pot to Glen.

"Hey! Wait! What the hell are you doing, Bob?"
"He's got a blizzard" Bob smiled wryly.
"What the hell's a blizzard?"
"All face cards." Bob said.
"That's one of the worst hands in the game!" Johnny exclaimed.
"Read the rules, Johnny, rule 13" Bob said as he pointed to the wall behind the poker table. Johnny looked up at the wall but the house rules were written so small he couldn't read them from the table. He got up, walked to the wall, and scanned down to rule 13. It said

13. A BLIZZARD AUTOMATICALLY WINS

"I guess I know why you guys call that hand a blizzard" Johnny said sheepishly as he sat back down. "In lowball all paint is the coldest hand in the deck." He pulled out another hundred and bought in again. He went back to steadily plodding along, chipping up to about $180. He had almost all his money back.

Then Carl open-raised from early position. Johnny looked down at two Kings, Two Queens, and an 8. He had the blizzard draw. He called because he only had 8 outs and no backup outs. They each drew one card. Johnny caught a Jack to make the blizzard. Carl bet out. Johnny raised. Carl reraised. I hope that idiot has a wheel Johnny thought as he reraised again. They kept raising each other until Johnny's whole stack was in the pot.

"I got a wheel" Carl said as he rolled his hand over.
"I got a blizzard" Johnny said proudly as he turned his cards up.

Hooker Bob started pushing the pot to Carl.

"Hey! Hold it! What the hell?!!" Johnny screamed.
"Read the rules, Johnny" Bob said with a big grin. "Rule 21."

Johnny heard the snickers as he went to the wall and scanned down to rule 21. It said

21. ONLY ONE BLIZZARD A NIGHT

"Damn hustlers!" Johnny whined amidst the howling laughter. "That damn girl always costs me money!"

He felt the vibration of his cellphone. It was a text. He opened it up and it said

"Having a blast in Ringling!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-W9X2zseJo

Cool story, the last part is almost identical to the "Lollapalooza," hand from Scarne's New Complete Guide to Gambling. I forget what specifically the Lollapalooza was, something even more ridiculous than the Blizzard, though, and the game was not Lowball.

Quote: Mission146

Cool story, the last part is almost identical to the "Lollapalooza," hand from Scarne's New Complete Guide to Gambling. I forget what specifically the Lollapalooza was, something even more ridiculous than the Blizzard, though, and the game was not Lowball.

Probably a dumb question but, have you ever hear of a special rule like this?

Quote: Mission146

Cool story, the last part is almost identical to the "Lollapalooza," hand from Scarne's New Complete Guide to Gambling. I forget what specifically the Lollapalooza was, something even more ridiculous than the Blizzard, though, and the game was not Lowball.

Good morning. It's been a joke in the poker community since time immemorial. It was called a Lollapalooza by Scarne, something else by Amarillo Slim. But it was a real hustle in Montana in the eighties which I was warned about. I believe to this day that I was duked (cheated in a hand) in 1984 in a poker game in White Sulphur Springs. I had first played Texas Holdem at the Crystal Lounge in Billings. But in White Sulphur Springs they played Holdem with a bug (joker) in the deck.

I was the stranger in town. I was holding my own in the game. The game had got short-handed with just me, the chief of police, and the town barber. I got up and went to the bathroom. When I came out the dealer had the deck in his left had, had already dealt a card to the chief of police and the town barber, and looked up at me and said "Are you in?" I said "sure" and sat back down. He dealt out the rest of the cards. I picked up the A-Q of clubs. The bet was capped before the flop. The flop came J-T-9 of clubs. The chief of police and me went at it betting and raising each other. The turn card was the 7 of clubs. We went at it again. The river was the 4 of clubs. We went at it again. The chief of police showed me the Joker and the King of clubs. I had lost a massive pot.

Still to this day I think they duked me. I got pissed and left the game. I went down the street and got the money back playing 8-Ball.

I was a rookie poker player in those days but I learned to watch my ass real quick. It's another old saying in Montana that every crooked dealer that got run out of Nevada came to Montana.

Great story.

Quote: AxelWolf

Probably a dumb question but, have you ever hear of a special rule like this?

You might do rules like this in home games, sometimes. We played a little game called, "Blackjack Draw Poker," in which a, "Sum of 21," hand beat any Pair or Two Pair and was beaten by Three of a Kind or better. A, "Sum of 21," hand also beat any other, "Sum of 21," hand if one had a jack and the other did not.

Typically, you would try to fill a, "Sum of 21," hand if you didn't have a Pair and needed one card to do it, in such an event, the draw had slightly less value than a gutshot straight draw in that a gutshot straight draw would beat a, "Sum of 21," hand if both were made.

Obviously, you would also only drop a card in which you didn't already have the card you needed to make the, "Sum of 21," for example:

Q-3-5-2-9

You would drop the nine, not only because it is lower than the Queen for potential Pair Value, but also because you would need a deuce if you dropped the Queen, and there can be no more than three left in the deck, whereas you would need an Ace if you dropped the Nine.

Finally, all of this assumes that you don't have four-to-a-Flush, because obviously that would also take precedence over, "Sum of 21."

"Sum of 21," is a better hold than Q-9, though, and we played with the Rule that you had to show an Ace to draw four or five new cards, otherwise, the most you could get was three and your best hold, thus, Q-9 lacking, "Sum of 21," rule or a Flush draw.

Quote: mickeycrimm

Still to this day I think they duked me. I got pissed and left the game. I went down the street and got the money back playing 8-Ball.

I was a rookie poker player in those days but I learned to watch my ass real quick. It's another old saying in Montana that every crooked dealer that got run out of Nevada came to Montana.

THINK???

Come on, Mickey, that deck was loaded. You're way too smart to think you got duped there, you know you got duped!

Quote: Mission146

THINK???

Come on, Mickey, that deck was loaded. You're way too smart to think you got duped there, you know you got duped!

Actually, I was thinking that that really wasn't that bad of a beat. I've pulled off worse.

Great story well told. Saw it coming, but well done.

Quote: Mission146

THINK???

Come on, Mickey, that deck was loaded. You're way too smart to think you got duped there, you know you got duped!

I flopped the Ace high flush with the open-ended straight-flush redraw. Now, what kind of hillbilly could get away from that hand? There is not a hillbilly invented that's going to get away from a hand like that. I think it was a brilliant hustle. I was drawing dead to the 8 of clubs. They knew the 8 of clubs wasn't comimg. And what are you going to do? Argue with the chief of police of White Sulpher Springs. I have a ton of shit on my agenda but arguing with that asshole ain't on it. They got away with it. The lesson is worth more than the money it cost me.

Quote: mickeycrimm

Quote: Mission146

THINK???

Come on, Mickey, that deck was loaded. You're way too smart to think you got duped there, you know you got duped!

I flopped the Ace high flush with the open-ended straight-flush redraw. Now, what kind of hillbilly could get away from that hand? There is not a hillbilly invented that's going to get away from a hand like that. I think it was a brilliant hustle. I was drawing dead to the 8 of clubs. They knew the 8 of clubs wasn't comimg. And what are you going to do? Argue with the chief of police of White Sulpher Springs. I have a ton of shit on my agenda but arguing with that asshole ain't on it. They got away with it. The lesson is worth more than the money it cost me.

This may be a record for the number of duplicate posts made. I'm wondering if its = to the number of shots you had in the last hr?

duped vs duked: I have not heard of being duked not sure if it was a miss used word or typo. It seems that it may kind of mean the same thing anyways. I'm not debating the word its self. I'm just curious if it was used intentionally or on purpose. Its would be an interesting choice of word's to uses.

Quote: AxelWolf

Quote: mickeycrimm

Quote: Mission146

THINK???

Come on, Mickey, that deck was loaded. You're way too smart to think you got duped there, you know you got duped!

I flopped the Ace high flush with the open-ended straight-flush redraw. Now, what kind of hillbilly could get away from that hand? There is not a hillbilly invented that's going to get away from a hand like that. I think it was a brilliant hustle. I was drawing dead to the 8 of clubs. They knew the 8 of clubs wasn't comimg. And what are you going to do? Argue with the chief of police of White Sulpher Springs. I have a ton of shit on my agenda but arguing with that asshole ain't on it. They got away with it. The lesson is worth more than the money it cost me.

This may be a record for the number of duplicate posts made. I'm wondering if its = to the number of shots you had in the last hr?

$20 on the under. J/K

Quote: AxelWolf

duped vs duked: I have not heard of being duked not sure if it was a miss used word or typo. It seems that it may kind of mean the same thing anyways. I'm not debating the word its self. I'm just curious if it was used intentionally or on purpose. Its would be an interesting choice of word's to uses.

I'm using the word duked, not duped. It's old Montana poker jargon for getting cheated in a hand.

Quote: AxiomOfChoice

Actually, I was thinking that that really wasn't that bad of a beat. I've pulled off worse.

It wasn't a bad beat. I never had the lead in the hand. I got duked.

Twice in my poker career I've been beated by an underpair to the board after flopping top set. The first time it happened was at Sandia in Albuquerque. I had pocket jacks and the flop came J-9-3. Theres no need to slow play a hand in a loose game. I put it on the fast track. A deuce came off on the turn and this guy and me cap the bet. A deuce came off on the river making me a full house. To bad though. The guy showed me pocket deuces. By the odds that's about as bad a beat as it gets.

Quote: mickeycrimm

It wasn't a bad beat. I never had the lead in the hand. I got duked.

Yeah, the phrase "bad beat" was wrong. But my point was, having the nut flush vs a straight flush is not that unusual, i don't think. But, yeah, maybe you were cheated. The fact that it happened after you came out of the bathroom and didn't see the guy shuffle makes it way too suspicious.

Quote:

Twice in my poker career I've been beated by an underpair to the board after flopping top set. The first time it happened was at Sandia in Albuquerque. I had pocket jacks and the flop came J-9-3. Theres no need to slow play a hand in a loose game. I put it on the fast track. A deuce came off on the turn and this guy and me cap the bet. A deuce came off on the river making me a full house. To bad though. The guy showed me pocket deuces. By the odds that's about as bad a beat as it gets.

I've hit one-outers against people and hand them hit against me. Once in a live no limit game I got all in with middle set vs top set on the flop; I turned the quads.

Once in an online limit game I had AA and flopped AJJ. Capped on the flop and the turn. River is a jack; I can't even call a bet. The guy had AJ.

Quote: AxiomOfChoice

Yeah, the phrase "bad beat" was wrong. But my point was, having the nut flush vs a straight flush is not that unusual, i don't think. But, yeah, maybe you were cheated. The fact that it happened after you came out of the bathroom and didn't see the guy shuffle makes it way too suspicious.

Suspicious?

It was a pre-stacked deck, someone had it in the bar somewhere or in a pocket all along. Mickey goes to the bathroom, and they don't even have to worry about stacking it, just take one deck out of one pack and put in the deck they had been using, pre-stacked deck. They probably either:

A.) Orchestrate it such that the mark always sits in the same place.

or

B.) They have four different pre-stacked decks ready to go based on the mark's seating position.

Quote: AxiomOfChoice

But my point was, having the nut flush vs a straight flush is not that unusual, i don't think. But, yeah, maybe you were cheated. The fact that it happened after you came out of the bathroom and didn't see the guy shuffle makes it way too suspicious.

Actually, he beat me with a better flush. Since he had the joker his hand was AC-KC-JC-TC-9C. My hand was AC-QC-JC-TC-9C.

The dealer was sitting there with the deck in his left hand when I came out of the restroom. Two cards had already been dealt. They were waiting for me to come out of the restroom. I was too inexperienced to see I was being set up.

Quote: mickeycrimm

Actually, he beat me with a better flush. Since he had the joker his hand was AC-KC-JC-TC-9C. My hand was AC-QC-JC-TC-9C.

The dealer was sitting there with the deck in his left hand when I came out of the restroom. Two cards had already been dealt. They were waiting for me to come out of the restroom. I was too inexperienced to see I was being set up.

Couldn't he use the joker as the queen to make a straight flush (9TJQK)? Or is the joker not completely wild? (I've never played holdem with a joker, so I don't know what the rules are)

Quote: AxiomOfChoice

Couldn't he use the joker as the queen to make a straight flush (9TJQK)? Or is the joker not completely wild? (I've never played holdem with a joker, so I don't know what the rules are)

You're right! I didn't see that.

Quote: AxiomOfChoice

Couldn't he use the joker as the queen to make a straight flush (9TJQK)? Or is the joker not completely wild? (I've never played holdem with a joker, so I don't know what the rules are)

The rule for the joker was always said to be Aces, straights, and flushes. But now I can only assume that included straight flushes. The joker in the holdem games is no longer used in Montana. It got to be too controversial. Some guys wouldn't play a hand unless they held the joker.

Great set-up, then. You are drawing completely dead. Kc or Joker are your only outs, but they are both in his hand so they can't hit the board. The 8 gives you a lower straight flush.

A girl in Missoula I went with a few years back is the prototype for Delia. She has a similar name but I'll just keep calling her Delia. She was a lot of fun but I payed for it. She loved to play poker and couldn't play worth a damn. But she wasn't shy about asking me for another buy-in. The poker players at the Ox in Missoula did real well when I was going with her.

She had an ex-boyfriend behind every tree in Missoula. There are a lot of tree's in Missoula. Besides the poker buy-ins I was always catching her up on her rent and utilities. I payed off her outrageous phone bill a few times too. I was having to work twice as hard to keep up with it. We could be in some clap trap bar in the middle of nowhere, she would get pissed at me and drive off, leaving me stranded. I'd have to pay an outrageous cab bill to get back to town.

She thought she had a big hook in my nose. I decided I had had enough fun. I kicked her to the curb. It took her all of four days to replace me. She texted me and said "I have a new boyfriend. He has a five-bedroom house, 4 cars, 3 motorcycles, and 2 snowmachines. I texted here back and said "6 months with you and he will be filing for bankruptcy."

All the stuff about Jimmy Buffet in the story is true. In 1984 I was roaming around Montana, living in a pickup truck, working day labor, playing poker and hustling pool. I had come into White Sulphur Springs from the north. When I got through with that town I headed south on 89 towards Bozeman. I came up on this little ghost town, Ringling, and went holy crap!. I had Bufffet's tape "Living and Dying in 3/4 Time" in the glove box. Ringling, Ringling was a nice little song on the tape. Everything in Ringling looked just like Buffet described it in the song.

In the video of Buffet doing the song live you can see pictures of Ringling in the background.

Hey Mick,
Wow can't believe what I'm reading,
I'm glad to see you are doin well. Really like to hear from you Brother.
You can reach me at elducatidude@gmail.com or (360)-917-5321
Your friend, Jim Lawrence
Call me Mickey anytime😎

Quote: yourfriendjim

Hey Mick,
Wow can't believe what I'm reading,
I'm glad to see you are doin well. Really like to hear from you Brother.
You can reach me at elducatidude@gmail.com or (360)-917-5321
Your friend, Jim Lawrence
Call me Mickey anytime😎

Wow, Jim! It's been over 20 years. How the hell did you find me?

I was reading about video poker and saw your name, just the price of being famous I guess ha ha.
Seriously what a great treat to speak with you again.
It would be great to talk to you again
Give me a call or email me your phone number
and I'll call you. Hope to hear from you soon. Jim