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P90
P90
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February 6th, 2011 at 4:53:16 PM permalink
Imagine a hypothetical situation: through some circumstances, you find yourself indoors next to a large crate of money, in neatly stacked packs of new $20 bills (or, if you find that too trivial, $100 bills).
You know beyond doubt that the money is of criminal origin. Another thing you know is you won't be coming back once you leave. It appears real to your best ability to tell. Beyond that, you don't know anything: you can't tell who the money belongs to, if the law enforcement knows about it, if there is anything else special about it.

You are not wearing gloves, a face mask or good clothing, aren't carrying a sizable bag, don't have your car parked conveniently right outside, haven't been planning to leave the country, state or town. You have been seen nearby, but not by anyone you know, and aren't under any observation that you are aware of. Basically, you aren't well prepared for the situation, but not particularly disadvantaged either.

Of course, it's illegal for you to take any of the money, but let's face it, most people would not resist pocketing at least a few bills. On the other hand, unless you are a professional criminal already, you might not want to get involved.
So, how much specifically would you take? What would you do with the money next?

If you won't take any, what is your reason - principles, avoiding legal risks, criminal risks, other?
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mkl654321
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February 6th, 2011 at 4:54:43 PM permalink
Quote: P90

Of course, it's illegal for you to take any of the money, but let's face it, most people would not resist pocketing at least a few bills. On the other hand, unless you are a professional criminal already, you might not want to get involved.
So, how much specifically would you take? What would you do with the money next?



I would set fire to all of it.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.---George Bernard Shaw
Nareed
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February 6th, 2011 at 5:11:53 PM permalink
Quote: P90

Beyond that, you don't know anything: you can't tell if the money is real or counterfeit,



I can tell counterfeit money just by touching it. But even lacking this talent, telling a real $20 from a counterfeit is child's play. This is especially so if they're the new kinds of bills.

I've seen some pretty good fakes. There are four things that can't be faked, though: the linen paper used in bank notes, the color-shifting ink found in newer bills, the watermark also found in newer bills, and micro print found in just about every note in existence.

All that can be easily checked without any special equipment.

So, I'd check whether it was real or not first. If it isn't, what's the point?
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
P90
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February 6th, 2011 at 5:18:09 PM permalink
Quote: Nareed

I've seen some pretty good fakes. There are four things that can't be faked, though: the linen paper used in bank notes, the color-shifting ink found in newer bills, the watermark also found in newer bills, and micro print found in just about every note in existence.
So, I'd check whether it was real or not first. If it isn't, what's the point?


It could be dark enough that some clues may not be perfectly discernible. But in either case the assumption here is that the money is real, or at least that you don't notice any clues of a fake.
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Nareed
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February 6th, 2011 at 5:22:53 PM permalink
Quote: P90

It could be dark enough that some clues may not be perfectly discernible. But in either case the assumption here is that the money is real, or at least that you don't notice any clues of a fake.



If it's real, why did you hint it could be counterfeit?

In any case, it's easy enough to tell by touch. Linen and wood paper look identical, especially in bad light, but they feel very different.
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
weaselman
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February 6th, 2011 at 5:25:14 PM permalink
I would not take anything. Not because of honesty or principles, but out of fear. What if this is an FBI sting, and there is a camera watching?
Or worse, what if the criminals this money belongs to track me down somehow, and demand to return it with interest?
Nah, not worse the risk for me.
"When two people always agree one of them is unnecessary"
odiousgambit
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February 6th, 2011 at 5:26:30 PM permalink
have you seen the movie "no country for old men?"

if you have you know what happens
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
P90
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February 6th, 2011 at 5:29:06 PM permalink
Quote: Nareed

If it's real, why did you hint it could be counterfeit?


Just pointing out that no information is available about the money and it's origin, but if it is a counterfeit, it's a near perfect one. (As you can't absolutely rule out stumbling upon a top quality counterfeiting operation). But I'll edit it, the idea here is that the money is presumably real.


Quote: weaselman

Or worse, what if the criminals this money belongs to track me down somehow, and demand to return it with interest?


Hence the option of taking only a small amount that would not be hunted.
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Toes14
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February 6th, 2011 at 5:34:18 PM permalink
Using my shirt or possibly my socks to block leaving fingerprints, I take 1-2 bills from each pack of 100. Do this for as many packs as I can while still keeping the money neatly stacked. Fill my wallet, then my pockets, then around my waist (held in by my underwear), then maybe between my shins and my socks. Then leave & never return. I do it this way so it will hopefully go unnoticed or at least take a longer time before the cons who 'own' the money realize they've been ripped off.

Assuming a stack of 100 bills is about 1" thick, I think I can reasonably fit 50 into my wallet, 100 into each other pants pocket, 50 folded in my shirt pocket, 100 on each shin, and another 100 around my waist. Thats a minimum of 700 bills, or $14k for 20's. ($70k for 100's).

Then I hide the money and sit on it for 4-6 weeks before slowly bringing it out for use.

One caveat to all of this - if I know that I'm within a 15 minute drive of my house I walk out without taking anything. (Higher chance of somebody tracing it back to my family.)
"Bite my Glorious Golden Ass!" - Bender Bending Rodriguez
Nareed
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February 6th, 2011 at 5:44:40 PM permalink
Quote: P90

Just pointing out that no information is available about the money and it's origin, but if it is a counterfeit, it's a near perfect one. (As you can't absolutely rule out stumbling upon a top quality counterfeiting operation).



You know what the difference is between a hideously bad counterfeit and a near-perfect one? About one second. Maybe a little longer if the bills appear to be new.
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
P90
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February 6th, 2011 at 6:05:25 PM permalink
Quote: Nareed

You know what the difference is between a hideously bad counterfeit and a near-perfect one? About one second. Maybe a little longer if the bills appear to be new.


There have been rare cases (like CB-B2) when counterfeits were good enough to pass manual and machine checks and ended up being dispensed via banks and ATMs, so it's not entirely impossible. Such bills are printed on proper rag paper with proper materials and at least partially actual currency printing equipment. Foreign (rogue) government involvement has been suspected in some cases. In the case of finding a large supply of freshly printed bills, the possibility would have crossed my mind. But if you are confident enough, you don't need to consider that possibility, of course.

In either case, however, it's at least safe enough to use in stores.
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Nareed
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February 6th, 2011 at 6:15:00 PM permalink
Quote: P90

But if you are confident enough, you don't need to consider that possibility, of course, and in either case, it's at least safe enough to use in stores.



I'm not confident. I'm certain I can tell a real US Dollar, Mexican Peso or Euro from a counterfeit one. I'm confident I can tell any other currency from a fake one.
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
FleaStiff
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February 6th, 2011 at 6:17:10 PM permalink
Quote: odiousgambit

have you seen the movie "no country for old men?" ... if you have you know what happens

What happened in No Country For Old Men happened only because he went back to give the dying man a drink of water. And because he helped the runaway girl and put down his gun and tried to talk instead of shooting when her Mexican boyfriend showed up. Perhaps the sheriff said it best: "It was a hunting accident. He went hunting trouble and he found it".

Counterfeit... heck if its a great big crate of bills you look at two of them and see if they have the same serial numbers!

Often drug transactions are conducted by parking a car filled with cash in a parking structure and transferring the merchandise at a different location than the cash. If something goes wrong at the drug transfer location a very lucky parking attendant may get rich.

Actually, a truly massive amount of cash would be considered entrapment if the cops left it there. Pilfering a few bills would be prosecutable, taking the entire crate might fall to the affirmative defense of entrapment.

Best thing... take the crate and search for beepers and men carrying a captive piston device that looks like an oxygen tank.
weaselman
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February 6th, 2011 at 6:26:24 PM permalink
Quote: P90

Hence the option of taking only a small amount that would not be hunted.


I dunno these criminals. If I was a criminal, I would hunt down and kill anyone who dares to steal anything from me, no matter how small an amount, as a deterrent for future would be thieves.
"When two people always agree one of them is unnecessary"
FleaStiff
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February 6th, 2011 at 6:34:45 PM permalink
You are at full risk if you take anything, so it might as well be "In for a penny, in for a pound". Take the whole enchilada.

Anyone upset with you pilfering a few of his bills is going to do the same thing to you as if you had taken them all.

Anyone trying to prosecute you will have an easier time of it if you take a few bills rather than the whole whopping sum.

If its counterfeit, its worthless to you unless you know how to "shove the queer" and these days that is darn difficult. Remember the biggest thief of all these days would be the fence. You would have to know a good fence to move that kind of paper and because the fence knows its a one shot deal for you he would really shaft you and might well call the "rightful" owner since the goodwill of the owner would be worth more to the fence than your one-off business. You would be lucky to get quoted five percent and would be better off moving it to gammon golly man at a Gypsy settlement.

Don't delay searching the case and the contents for a transponder though ... the welder in No Country For Old Men knew what a transponder was when he saw it but he never thought to search for one promptly.

And remember,,, once you take that money... you can't talk to whoever comes looking for it. You kill them or they kill you. You got nothing to say to them, just kill them!
gog
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February 8th, 2011 at 12:22:28 PM permalink
Hansel and Gretel it to my ex's house
Malaru
Malaru
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February 8th, 2011 at 1:13:06 PM permalink
Im not touching that money- hell I dont even want to be seen around it unless I was willing to tell LE it was there- in fact thats the best idea- if it was discovered money by myself and noone claims it in X days its mine :))

Working in LE Id say this smells of an IA investigation/sting.
"Although men flatter themselves with their great actions, they are not so often the result of a great design as of chance." - Francois De La Rochefoucauld
FleaStiff
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February 8th, 2011 at 5:40:00 PM permalink
Hansel and Gretel ?????
thecesspit
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February 8th, 2011 at 5:58:59 PM permalink
Breadcrumbs!

I'm not touching it. It's not mine. I don't know whose it is. I don't have any moral right to it, legal right or conscious right to it. And if I am found out, I don't fancy a baseball bat to the neck from the rightful owner.
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
commandertrent
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February 8th, 2011 at 8:53:48 PM permalink
I take the whole pile of money. Give the pile of money to the police, and request that if the owner of the funds cannot be found, that the funds be returned to me as the person who found the money. I believe that there is some case law saying that if the police cannot prove the money was proceeds of an illegal enterprise, then they would not be able to seize the funds. The true owner of the funds probably doesn't want to try and claim the money with the police. As a result I think that I would be able to request the return of the funds from the police. As I am in Canada, these funds wouldn't even be taxable (as windfall profits are not taxable in Canada).
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