Face
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Face
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February 14th, 2018 at 12:55:54 PM permalink
Terrible OP. Not near enough info for we pedants.

The ruminants are dead out. Their base defense is to run, and only when rearing do they circle and defend. Even assuming YOU are "the child", they ain't stopping a shooter, would have less than zero chance against an ape, lion, wolf, or bear, could not defend nowhere near a hundred rats let alone 10,000. They'd be good stomping gator skulls and are too tough for any eagle, but that's hardly a consolation.

Gator? Pah. Unless you're on a rudderless ship, of course. Too slow. Too dumb. Zero defense. One trick pony.

Lions are cats. Cats don't man up. Unless everything's gonna fight with its back turned, all anything need do is look at it and it'll be rendered useless.

Eagles? Are you high? Birds are not a combative species. A majority of the sustenance for a majority of the war birds is carrion. The rest kill things much too small or much too impotent to be of any use. No doubt a rake of the talons would hurt. Then you just grab it and break it, like my grandma would.

All monkeys are disgusting and should be wiped from the Earth. I'd rather fight a bear mano a mano than team up with an ape. But since that's not an answer, still no. Because reasons.

The wolves are a noble pick. Teamwork, intelligence, plus victory companionship. But one griz would lay waste to an entire armada. Sorry puppers.

The griz is the strongest land predator, period. It wins in reality against packs of wolves, it wins in reality against polar bears, it wins in reality against Siberian f#$%ing tigers. There's not a single animal on that list it couldn't erase with one half hearted swipe of its paw, and those whose numbers may overwhelm it don't have the capacity to harm it.

And I don't care if that gun is empty and is rendered a club. The human is the most deadly animal on the planet. Realize please that all of those things plus worse are already coming to kill us, and one alcoholic with a hammer has protected us all. No, not Jesus. Your local carpenter, by way of the domicile. War is not won with strength, it's won with strategery.

Man and griz is the only answer.
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Romes
Romes
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February 14th, 2018 at 12:57:57 PM permalink
Everyone has been answering wrong.

1) 5 Gorillas
2) 4 Lions

The rifle is near worthless. I wavered with 15 wolves, because 15 wolves could easily take out a gorilla or lion, but not 5 or 4 of them. It also depends how "viscous" the mice are being. I feel like if this were a movie I'd take the mice because they'd be like an unstoppable storm of slaughter, but in reality even if they were "attacking" it would be more a battle of stamina than anything else just stomping and kicking them or beating them with things (and help from my 9 very large and very strong friends).
Playing it correctly means you've already won.
billryan
billryan
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Thanks for this post from:
Joeman
February 14th, 2018 at 1:01:18 PM permalink
I'm guessing you never read Tolkien.
Eagles are the answer to everything.
Caught in prison? An eagle will rescue you?
Stuck in a tree with a dozen or so close friends? Eagles got you covered.
Stranded on the side of a volcano ,hundreds of miles from nowhere? They got you, bro.
billryan
billryan
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February 14th, 2018 at 1:03:09 PM permalink
Lions are natural cowards. I wouldn't count on them for anything except claiming some dead animals as their kill.
Romes
Romes
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February 14th, 2018 at 1:04:08 PM permalink
Quote: billryan

Lions are natural cowards. I wouldn't count on them for anything except claiming some dead animals as their kill.

In the spirit of the question though, they are there to defend me. So it would be assumed they aren't going to "scare off" and will protect me, no?
Playing it correctly means you've already won.
billryan
billryan
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February 14th, 2018 at 1:10:54 PM permalink
Quote: Romes

In the spirit of the question though, they are there to defend me. So it would be assumed they aren't going to "scare off" and will protect me, no?



It's a hypothetical, but I'm thinking the animals aren't going to get new personalities or magical powers. Otherwise, I'd just give the gun to the gorilla and have the crocs dig a trench around me.
Silly question that was fun, but I have work I was supposed to have done a few days ago. I suppose I should start it.
Face
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Face
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February 14th, 2018 at 2:35:50 PM permalink
Quote: billryan


Silly question that was fun, but I have work I was supposed to have done a few days ago. I suppose I should start it.



Procrastination is a curse
It brings me naught but sorrow
I know that I should stop it
In fact, I will... tomorrow.
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boymimbo
boymimbo
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February 14th, 2018 at 2:41:26 PM permalink
Quote: Rigondeaux



Take the rats and the gunman, providing said gunman has unlimited ammo. Though the rats would have to work very quickly to take care of all of the land animals while the gunman is shooting the eagles. Not sure that the rats could do anything against the crocodiles either.
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MaxPen
MaxPen
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February 14th, 2018 at 2:53:41 PM permalink
I don't think a guy with a gun could deal with 5 simultaneous attacking hawks much less eagles.
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Face
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Face
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February 14th, 2018 at 3:27:18 PM permalink
Quote: MaxPen

I don't think a guy with a gun could deal with 5 simultaneous attacking hawks much less eagles.



Not that guy, surely. Remember class: Nose over toes.

But seriously, y'all watch too much TV. They're smaller than your Xmas goose, and there ain't a single one of 'em that would ever hit you at any kind of speed cuz it would kill itself. When it tries to do whatever you think they can do, just swat it down and step on its head. Hell, the swat alone will probably cripple it.

Is there not a single Attenborough fan here? Have you, I dunno, never seen a bird? Where does this impression of offensive abilities come from? They're goofy af and about as durable as 2ply.
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