Sonuvabish
Sonuvabish
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January 6th, 2015 at 7:39:13 PM permalink
Q: What some good home remidies ro fix my cats broken neck? I dont have money to bring it to the vet. ?

A: Your cat is going to die. People who can't afford to pay for vet bills shouldn't have pets.

A: If your cat truly has a broken neck he is going to die a horrible slow and painful death unless you get him to the vet right now.

A: What you are now doing could be (depending on how long your kitty has been injured) considered animal cruelty.

Asker's Comment: I swung the door open and hit the cat and it flew s few feet. Thank you for the advice.


Q: Are black people really..real? mean i see them on the tele..but i have also seen bugs bunny get shot by the ginger about 20 times..how is he still alive?! wtfh

A: Black people are real. Bugs Bunny is not real. Get a life.

A: "black" people are humans


Q: Anne Frank: In hell for eternity?
Since Anne Frank and many Jewish Holocaust victims didn't accept Jesus Christ as their "Personal Lord and Savior", as that is the only way to receive "salvation", does that mean the 6,000,000 Jewish Holocaust victims are burning in Hell being tortured by demons to this very second alongside with Albert Einstein, Gandhi, and many more Jewish victims?


A: According to Christian believes, yes, Anne Frank is in Hell.
Dieter
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Dieter
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January 6th, 2015 at 10:12:33 PM permalink
What? No "how is babby formed / how girl get pragnent"?
May the cards fall in your favor.
Sonuvabish
Sonuvabish
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Joined: Feb 5, 2014
January 7th, 2015 at 1:31:01 AM permalink
Quote: Dieter

What? No "how is babby formed / how girl get pragnent"?



Hasn't made my list of favorites. I still laugh about the cat one, my absolute favorite, and I read it over a year ago. Here's some honorable mentions.

Q: Is there a possible way to get away with murder?
What about this: You know plastic gloves make no dna shown, if you kill someone, wear plastic gloves, go with someone else's clothes, right after the kill, take a long shower. Barry the weapon deep under ground, burn the gloves.

A: Ok, first problem is that your even contemplating this subject.

A: You can get away with murder by asphyxiating someone with a plastic bag over the head. Theirs no blood or a murder weapon, hardly any evidence for a convinction before a grand jury. You can also set someone on fire; this way the body will be too burned to recover any finger prints or hairs. Get some gas, dump it on him, light a match, and run like hell.

A: actually i know of 3 ways to get away with it but i wont share that with anyone


Q: DOES GOD H8 POST-OP trannsexuals?
If there is one? I dont think so, I think that how they were sposta be!

A: I don't know about God, but I sure do!

A: God hates everyone.

A: Well, God is kind of busy, running the universe and stuff. I think he has an excuse if he makes a mistake here or there.
JB
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JB
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January 7th, 2015 at 1:52:17 AM permalink
OzzyOsbourne
OzzyOsbourne
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January 7th, 2015 at 2:00:57 AM permalink
Quote: JB



ahahahahahahaha. I love that song too!!!
casino's money disappears the execs worry when the wizard is near He turns tears into joy Everyone's happy when the wizard walks by
RS
RS
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January 7th, 2015 at 2:30:53 AM permalink
Try reading YELP reviews on restaurants/stores/etc. they're oftentimes hilarious.

Same with iTunes store apps reviews. Everyone just rages.
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
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January 7th, 2015 at 4:06:36 AM permalink
I get a kick reading the reviews for casinos, so many of them are negative reports written by irate slots players without a clue.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
Dieter
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Dieter
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January 7th, 2015 at 4:15:28 AM permalink
While this discussion of the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer isn't on Yahoo, I think it's thematically related...

Quote: Saved my marriage

What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!" These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That's when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we've even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!

May the cards fall in your favor.
tsmith
tsmith
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Joined: Jan 15, 2010
January 7th, 2015 at 5:36:55 AM permalink
There is nothing funnier than the reviews for Haribo sugarless gummi bears .
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
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January 7th, 2015 at 6:32:21 AM permalink
Quote: tsmith

There is nothing funnier than the reviews for Haribo sugarless gummi bears .



wow, is this satire?
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
tsmith
tsmith
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January 7th, 2015 at 7:04:43 AM permalink
I'm sure there's some embellishment on the reviewers' parts, but the candies contain something called Lycasin, which, as Haribo plainly states on its packaging, can cause "intestinal distress".

Some people had somewhat the same reaction to Olestra, which was a fat substitute used in potato chips, which Lay's noted on their packaging as "could cause anal leakage".
tringlomane
tringlomane
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January 7th, 2015 at 11:57:36 AM permalink
^^^

Definitely embellished, but very hilarious! Definitely never eating those Gummi Bears!
Dieter
Administrator
Dieter
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January 7th, 2015 at 1:48:13 PM permalink
Quote: odiousgambit

Quote: tsmith

There is nothing funnier than the reviews for Haribo sugarless gummi bears .



wow, is this satire?



I've heard enough non-internet confirmations to reasonably believe that these incidents are plausible.
May the cards fall in your favor.
Zcore13
Zcore13
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January 7th, 2015 at 2:29:12 PM permalink
If you haven't before, go read the "Best of Craigslist". There's a link to the best posts on the left hand side of all Craigslist main pages. Way too funny!

Quote:



FLOOR LAVA PROTECTION! (Couch)


Do you love your family?

Do you want to protect them?

Then why have you not yet done anything about the fact that THE FLOOR IS LAVA. YOU CAN'T TOUCH IT OR YOU'LL DIE!

For the low cost of $25 you can spare your family from this terrible fate. We are offering a floor-lava proof island to provide shelter and safety. It has been know to protect up to 4 people simultaneously but may hold even more in a dire emergency.

That's only $6.25 per person to SAVE THEM FROM THE LAVA COVERING THE FLOOR!

As a FREE bonus we'll throw in four soft, comfortable, throwable (and most importantly LAVAPROOF) stepping stones, allowing for the mobility to reach safe areas of the floor. These may provide YOUR ONLY CHANCE OF RESCUE.

So please, for the love of your family -- especially your children -- act now. Don't let this simple solution to a deadly and common problem slip away.



(It also functions as a couch.)


ZCore13
I am an employee of a Casino. Former Table Games Director,, current Pit Supervisor. All the personal opinions I post are my own and do not represent the opinions of the Casino or Tribe that I work for.
Perdition
Perdition
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Joined: Sep 3, 2013
January 7th, 2015 at 2:36:45 PM permalink
A classic
Sonuvabish
Sonuvabish
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Joined: Feb 5, 2014
January 7th, 2015 at 4:37:02 PM permalink
Quote: JB



I like that the question has been resolved. I've read everything here, and I liked this one, but nothing beats someone inquiring about a good home remedy to fix a broken neck as a cat moan's in paralyzed agony.
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