Definition of a dick

Quote: kewlj

You make some valid points, 4ofakind. I think in many cases, when 2 parents break up and then one, takes a new husband or wife (stepmother or stepfather), the child is resentful, because his real mother or father is being replaced. Also, the child is still hoping the original parents will get back together and this new 'outsider', now stands in the way of that. In my own case, my father passed away, so there was no such resentment. I will admit, there was still a bit of a feeling that my Dad was being replaced (which I am not sure how you get over), but that was more than offset, by the fact that my mom seemed happy to have a new partner after a period of extreme sadness.

From the point of a step mother and or step father (just thinking out loud), I think they go into such a situation with the best of intentions. They really want to be a surrogate mother or father. I think things change, when they have a child of their own. The stepchild then becomes the 'outsider'.

I agree with your above post which points out even further how each situation is different and sensitive in its own way. You obviously think things out and are no fool based on what I've read that you've put in print.

I wish you the best and hope because of you everything stays cool and respectable.

I read all the posts - had an ex father-in-law like this - TOTAL DICKHEAD!
Also part of a family insurance agency in Philly dating from 1890 - four generations. The insurance company DID NOT require the letter.

In FL in 1997, my dad passed away in his 80's.
His last wife sent us a letter telling us what
happened, we got it a week after he died. There
was no funeral or service, he was cremated.

I thought nothing of her doing it this way. He was
old and lived a thousand miles away. From all
your reactions here, I should have been ranting
and tearing at my clothes.

My father is 87 and lives 3000 miles away.

I just returned from an eight day trip which focused on visiting with him and having him try to adjust to assisted living.

When he passes, I'll want to know, and no doubt my brother and sister will give me an immediate heads up.

A letter one week later?

Takes all kinds.

Yeah, I don't know the specifics of your situation, EvenBob, like how close your family is and all that, but receiving a letter a week after your father dies, is NOT the normal, nor accepted way of handling things. It may be acceptable to you or the way your family works, but don't try to pass that off as being in any way 'normal'.

As for my own situation, when my brother called home today, as he does once a week, he was informed that his father was no longer coming for the visit next week. My mother is coming alone (which is really even better as far as I am concerned). This too, is just another D**khead move in my book on several fronts, including not giving the person that you asked to make hotel arrangements (me) as much notice as possible about changes or cancelations. I had booked really nice accomadations in a nearby casino hotel that they really don't need now.

I am going to try to stop spending so much time fretting about this guy. He really is irrelevant in my life, as he has been for the last 12 years. I just feel a little bad for my brother, who is still dealing with this man's games and control issues.

I know you have probably heard this before, but just in case you have not :

THE ONLY POWER PEOPLE HAVE OVER YOU IS THE POWER YOU GIVE THEM !

Quote: MrV

When he passes, I'll want to know, and no doubt my brother and sister will give me an immediate heads up.

A letter one week later?

Takes all kinds.

My dad was just as dead a week later
as he was the night he died. My feelings
about it were the same a week later as
they would have been minutes after the
event. I wonder if you can even understand
that.

Quote: kewlj

It may be acceptable to you or the way your family works, but don't try to pass that off as being in any way 'normal'.

Actually, it was acceptable throughout human
history till the invention of the telegraph, and
later the telephone. Somebody dies, they're
just as dead when you got the letter 6 months
later as they were the day they died. I was
not insulted at all to get the letter about my
dad dying, I was actually grateful not to be woken
by a call at 3am about an event that could easily
wait till I was up and about. You have to live life
on your own terms, not everybody elses.

Evenbob, you are so Dwight K Schrute. When are you going to start talking about the beet farm.

Quote: 1BB

DT is a somewhat eclectic group of some of our brightest and more knowledgeable posters who provide stimulating conversation ...

I'm on DT also.

Quote: EvenBob

DT is a great place if you want the opinion
of about 6 people. Me, B9, Face, Nareed,
flea, AZ, and a couple others. We don't
accept just anybody, though.

Your friend Larry was telling us/me how great DT was. I was under the impression a few you DTers left WOV and vowed never to return. A few people suggested I join DT, (come to think of it, they may not have even been members.)

Its ok, you made a good go of it.