James Bond Does Blackjack
Poll
 | 13 votes (76.47%) | ||
| | 2 votes (11.76%) | ||
| | 3 votes (17.64%) | ||
| | 2 votes (11.76%) | ||
| | 3 votes (17.64%) | ||
| | 4 votes (23.52%) | ||
| | 3 votes (17.64%) | ||
| | 2 votes (11.76%) | ||
| | 2 votes (11.76%) | ||
| | 2 votes (11.76%) |
17 members have voted
September 6th, 2017 at 12:53:12 PM
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VIEW THIS ON AS LARGE A SCREEN AS POSSIBLE. It will be unviewable on a phone.
James Bond has never played Blackjack in the movies (edit: actually, Bond did play BJ in a bad Timothy Dalton movie), so here is my take on it. This started as a lark - a quick parody of the goofy gambling scenes in the movies, but it grew in the telling. I laughed a lot as I wrote it and I hope it will make you laugh as well.
Please have low expectations. I have never tried anything like this before -indeed, I have never seen anything quite like this to use as a model.
The question for the Poll is: What did you think of "James Bond Does Blackjack?" You may check as many answers as you want.
James Bond has never played Blackjack in the movies (edit: actually, Bond did play BJ in a bad Timothy Dalton movie), so here is my take on it. This started as a lark - a quick parody of the goofy gambling scenes in the movies, but it grew in the telling. I laughed a lot as I wrote it and I hope it will make you laugh as well.
Please have low expectations. I have never tried anything like this before -indeed, I have never seen anything quite like this to use as a model.
The question for the Poll is: What did you think of "James Bond Does Blackjack?" You may check as many answers as you want.
Last edited by: gordonm888 on Sep 6, 2017
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
September 6th, 2017 at 12:59:09 PM
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Quote: gordonm888James Bond has never played Blackjack in the movies
Timothy Dalton played Blackjack in License To Kill
https://youtu.be/ccBqiW3rR70
I always thought it was kind of a cool scene with them calling the boss asking if he wants to take the action
September 6th, 2017 at 1:12:21 PM
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Quote: gamerfreakTimothy Dalton played Blackjack in License To Kill
https://youtu.be/ccBqiW3rR70
I always thought it was kind of a cool scene with them calling the boss asking if he wants to take the action
My bad! Didn't know that. Thanks for the info.
I notice in that short (4 minute) scene in License To Kill that the casino boss is selling massive amounts of cocaine from his casino office and is using a TV Evangelist to fraudulently solicit charitable donations. Also, his female dealer seems to admit that the Blackjack game is rigged - she tells Bond that he will lose - "but not too much." Not sure it was more realistic than my comic strip.
Last edited by: gordonm888 on Sep 6, 2017
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
September 6th, 2017 at 1:29:07 PM
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Very enjoyable, Gordon! I think you got just the right amount of crude humor in there.
Right now, for some reason, I am picturing James Bond standing in line at the buffet!
Right now, for some reason, I am picturing James Bond standing in line at the buffet!
"Dealer has 'rock'... Pay 'paper!'"
September 6th, 2017 at 1:57:56 PM
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Very creative.
First thing I noticed was on the typical Vegas bj table,the shoe is on the wrong side of the table.
First thing I noticed was on the typical Vegas bj table,the shoe is on the wrong side of the table.
The mountain is tall but grass grows on top of the mountain.
September 6th, 2017 at 2:03:28 PM
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Quote: HunterhillVery creative.
First thing I noticed was on the typical Vegas bj table,the shoe is on the wrong side of the table.
Look again. It's a reverse negative like the famous Dale Murphy 1989 Upper Deck baseball card. Look closely at the rules on the felt.
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
September 6th, 2017 at 3:23:25 PM
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Quote: HunterhillVery creative.
First thing I noticed was on the typical Vegas bj table,the shoe is on the wrong side of the table.
Yep, I flipped the photo for the purposes of getting the image to face in the right direction. I did that with all the character images multiple times as well - this was not a high-bucks production!
Hunterhill, did you notice your name in the 'Wanted' poster above Rosa Klegg's head?
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
September 6th, 2017 at 4:53:42 PM
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That was terrific! Cool Easter Egg with that Wanted poster!
https://wizardofvegas.com/forum/off-topic/gripes/11182-pet-peeves/120/#post815219
September 6th, 2017 at 5:45:03 PM
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Quote: gordonm888Yep, I flipped the photo for the purposes of getting the image to face in the right direction. I did that with all the character images multiple times as well - this was not a high-bucks production!
Hunterhill, did you notice your name in the 'Wanted' poster above Rosa Klegg's head?
I didn't notice that, funny stuff,I'm glad you didn't put up our pictures.
Last edited by: Hunterhill on Sep 6, 2017
The mountain is tall but grass grows on top of the mountain.
September 6th, 2017 at 5:47:24 PM
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Quote: IbeatyouracesLook again. It's a reverse negative like the famous Dale Murphy 1989 Upper Deck baseball card. Look closely at the rules on the felt.
I was on my phone i can't read the rules,but good catch.
The mountain is tall but grass grows on top of the mountain.
September 6th, 2017 at 6:15:32 PM
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Very funny, gordon! Loved the wanted poster. Jaws was a "meh". But Rosa was good.
I didn't think anybody could be better than Sean Connery, but then came Daniel Craig. He is definitely the closest to the book Bond. So good choice.
I was looking for the girl painted gold, I have to admit. She was peeping the other guy's cards from the hotel for Goldfinger, if you recall. But at least in the book, she got murdered, so I suppose she couldn't be at this Bond's bj table.
I didn't think anybody could be better than Sean Connery, but then came Daniel Craig. He is definitely the closest to the book Bond. So good choice.
I was looking for the girl painted gold, I have to admit. She was peeping the other guy's cards from the hotel for Goldfinger, if you recall. But at least in the book, she got murdered, so I suppose she couldn't be at this Bond's bj table.
If the House lost every hand, they wouldn't deal the game.
September 6th, 2017 at 9:55:15 PM
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Just noticed this. Awesome
And yeah i saw i am at the top of the casinos wanted list. How cool!
And yeah i saw i am at the top of the casinos wanted list. How cool!
For Whom the bus tolls; The bus tolls for thee
September 7th, 2017 at 8:29:44 AM
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This was pretty fun/funny... great job with it =P.
Quote: Mission146That was terrific! Cool Easter Egg with that Wanted poster!
lolQuote: HunterhillI didn't notice that, funny stuff,I'm glad you didn't put up our pictures.
Playing it correctly means you've already won.
September 7th, 2017 at 11:30:29 AM
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If he were still alive, I would tell Dan Lubin that security looks like his sister. But he is not. Proving once again " ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG " RIP DAN!
September 7th, 2017 at 2:53:48 PM
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Quote: beachbumbabsI was looking for the girl painted gold, I have to admit. She was peeping the other guy's cards from the hotel for Goldfinger, if you recall. But at least in the book, she got murdered, so I suppose she couldn't be at this Bond's bj table.
I remember her (Goldfinger is not one of my favorite movies, though, so its been a while since I've seen it). Sounds like a possible character if I ever do a sequel: "James Bond Does Pai Gow Tiles" or whatever. LOL.
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
September 7th, 2017 at 3:08:19 PM
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Yes, Shirley Eaton (the girl painted gold) would be perfect for the "eye in the sky".
September 7th, 2017 at 3:19:41 PM
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The times are changing. Forget baccarat or hold-em poker. In 1964 it was GIN RUMMY that Goldfinger was cheating at. Like I say, win if you can, lose if you must, but ALWAYS cheat.
September 7th, 2017 at 5:15:50 PM
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In one of the early Bond novels (maybe Moonraker?) Bond plays Bridge at his club for high stakes cash. He wins tens of thousands of dollars on an incredible freak hand.
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
September 7th, 2017 at 5:33:46 PM
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That's pretty funny, make more
September 7th, 2017 at 6:25:20 PM
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Quote: gordonm888In one of the early Bond novels (maybe Moonraker?) Bond plays Bridge at his club for high stakes cash. He wins tens of thousands of dollars on an incredible freak hand.
Yes, Moonraker. Ian Fleming was an expert card player. He was particularly fond of that scene. Villain Hugo Drax was a card cheat. The deck was stacked for that hand, and the card room was in on the setup / cheat. The way Bridge works, it was a fore-ordained conclusion that the villain would bid the way he did and expose himself to a maximum loss.
The game was not in the movie, just the book. This site has a good, simple explanation (after the movie info) that includes a hand diagram.
Bridge is a great game, fwiw. Wish I could figure out a way to play it in a casino, but there is a whole (diminishing) pro industry in it, with high-stakes games around.
If the House lost every hand, they wouldn't deal the game.
September 7th, 2017 at 9:53:23 PM
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Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat. But surely not at bridge ?
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/03/07/the-cheating-problem-in-professional-bridge
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/03/07/the-cheating-problem-in-professional-bridge
