Nareed's Laws of Las Vegas (Tourist Edition)

This is a work in progress:

1) Concerning development, especially on the Strip, post 2007: Whatever happens, nothing happens (Shamelessly taken from Asimov's Laws of Hollywood).

2) Sucker bets were not devised by suckers.

3) The time you spend in line to get cheaper show tickets is directly proportional to the square of the money saved (at least).

4) You ommit tipping the dealer at your own risk (especially in craps).

5) Ignore the Wizard's Commandments at your own peril

6) Buildings and/or landmarks in Vegas do NOT get farther away the more you walk towards them, but it sure seems that way. Even so, your journey won't be shorter if you walk backwards.

7) The best way to enjoy a Vegas buffet is to lower your expectations (The IP exception: no lowering of expectations will work for the Emperor's Buffet; it needs to improve considerably before it can be classified as "bad").

8) There's a reason why slot machines are called one-armed bandits (of course since most don't have levers anymore, the reason no longer is obvious. But calling them plain "bandits" is insipid and uninspired). This reason does not necessarily apply to VP machines with good paytables.

9) Pay attention at all times while gambling. It's better to prevent a controversy than to win one.

10) Sucker bets were not devised by suckers (It won't hurt to repeat it, and I was one law short).

Bonus Law: "System" is not equivalent to "Strategy."

I like that there is a repeated law and a bonus law:-)

Also, exactly how bad is the buffet at the IP? Am I going to regret my promise to eat a full meal there when I take on the 7-in-24-hour buffet challenge in October?

Quote: rdw4potus

I like that there is a repeated law and a bonus law:-)

Think of it as fun with the Law of Identity (A is A) :P

Quote:

Also, exactly how bad is the buffet at the IP? Am I going to regret my promise to eat a full meal there when I take on the 7-in-24-hour buffet challenge in October?

I mostly go by hearsay, which is not good precedent. Anyway, I only had breakfast there. If you stick, as I did, to the omelette station and hot cereals, you'll be fine (the coffee is standard buffet coffee: drinkable and sufficiently caffeinated, but not good).

The food quality isn't bad, it just wasn't well prepared or well served. This is a failing at most buffets, even the better ones. The bacon, for example, was either limp or rock hard. Compared to the Rio where it ran the full spectrum from limp to crispy, or the Flamingo where it was motly crispy.

Work in progress still:

11) Do not bet even a penny without getting a player card first. It won't hurt and it might help.

12) There's no such thing as luck.

14) Despite law 12, it's good manners to wish good luck to other players. It's especially good manners to wish the dealer good luck when you place a bet for him.

15) Don't ever play for comps.

16) The Mirage has a fountain "volcano," the Bellagio has the world famous dancing fountains, the Wynn has the lake of dreams and pool parties. From these observations we can conclude Steve Wynn is composed mostly of hydrophilic compounds.

Not sure if this is a law, or just an observation:

When I'm talking about gambling at a bar, everyone around me claims to be a successful card counter. When I'm sitting at a blackjack table in Vegas, everyone around me stands on a 13 against a dealer's face card.

Quote: PapaChubby

Not sure if this is a law, or just an observation:

It's an observation.

We can put it in the form of a law thus: Anyone can talk card counting. Real card counters don't.

Or maybe: the number of real card counter is inversley proportional to the cube of the people who claim to be card counters (ie RCC=1/CCC^3 where RCC are real card coutners and CCC are those who claim to be card counters). At that a mere cube could be on the low end, mroe likely the 5th power, but that's not as elegant as saying "the cube."

Quote: Nareed

12) There's no such thing as luck.

14)

LOL! Nice one:-)

Quote: rdw4potus

LOL! Nice one:-)

Thank you.

I wondered if anyone would pick it up.

Quote: Nareed

Thank you.

I wondered if anyone would pick it up.

I completely missed it.


On the other hand, I learned first hand about law #6 a few years ago, when I decided to walk from the Stratosphere to Circus Circus. With the wife. In the mid-afternoon. In August.

It was only about an inch on the map....

Quote: DJTeddyBear

On the other hand, I learned first hand about law #6 a few years ago, when I decided to walk from the Stratosphere to Circus Circus. With the wife. In the mid-afternoon. In August.

Did you try to walk backwards?

I mean, theory clearly indicates it won't be any faster, that's not the point. But I'm curious how the Las Vegas Distance Perception Distortion Effect works when walking away from something. Does it recede more quickly than it would elsewhere?

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It was only about an inch on the map....

Without knowing the scale of the map, we won't ever know how big a folly that was.

Anwyay, first trip to vegas I stayed at the Sahara. Walking to the Stratosphere seemed a simple, easy thing to do. Fortunately I first took the Monorail to the center Strip and discovered how real the LVDPDE is. More so because from the center of the Strip the Stratosphere still seems to be no more than two blocks away.

That's also when I discovered the Monorail Distance Fallacy, but that's another subject.