In love but there's one possible problem...

I have been dating the most amazing man since June. We're madly in love and perfect for each other. I think about him constantly. Whenever we're together, we have the best time. The chemistry is unlike any I've ever experienced with any other man. The more time we spend together, the closer we get. There is nothing about him that bothers me. Don't get me wrong - we disagree on things; he isn't my twin - but we don't fight. We discuss and argue personal, cultural and social topics and things do get intense. The thing is we never get mad. I can't even explain it. Normally, when I'm dating someone who disagrees with me I can out-argue them to the point of submission and they give in and concede that I'm right. This man won't do it. He will sit there and smile while I get all worked up telling him all the ways he's wrong and I'm right and he will defend his position to the end. I love it! I need a man who will stand up to me or I won't respect him.

This one has confidence, charisma, charm, he's incredibly hot, patient, kind, intelligent, gorgeous, sweet, sincere, sexy, self depricating, hilarious, simple, complex, I could go on and on and on. I've known him for 20 years and I'm pretty sure I've been in love with him since the day I met him when I was 15 and he was 18. But, we never dated until this year. About 7 years ago was when he originally confessed his romantic feelings for me and said he'd been in love with me since we met. I found that amazing as I felt the same was. But, circumstances at that time prevented us from being together. We've seen each other since then numerous times at assorted functions and gatherings and we've always remained close friends and have had an unspoken understanding that we've always got each other's back. Finally, this June was when I felt I was emotionally ready to attempt a relationship with him. What I haven't mentioned is that there are a few factors that will effect things between us whether this relationship goes the distance or fizzles.

Here is goes (Don't judge me too harshly...) he is my cousin. He isn't my first cousin in fact we are from different generations in the family - so that whole 'once removed' line comes into play when trying to describe our relation level. So, my concern isn't that we'll have 2 headed babies or anything as we both have children and do not intend on having more whether together or apart. My concern is how our extended family (there are a lot of original brothers and sisters who all had fairly large broods themselves and everyone lives in close proximity and see each other regularly) and society in general is going to deal with us if we 'out' ourselves - not that we're going to make a sign for the front yard or anything but I mean stop hiding it and let the chips fall where they may. And I'd love to stop looking over my shoulder to see who's around before I kiss him everytime we go out in public. A few of our closest friends have figured it out and I've mentioned it in passing to a couple of random strangers who I will never see again but spent time with on vacation and everyone who I've discussed it with says that is they had the type of relationship we have and obvious love we clearly have towards one another that they'd tell the world and be proud because we're lucky to have found each other and be so in love.

Things are getting to the point where we're ready to move in together and we're debating on getting a place with a separate room for each of us and tell the family that we're 'roommates' or have a traditional couple's bedroom and let people figure it out on their own. Please be kind when responding as I don't enjoy harsh criticism. And believe me, you can't say anything to me about this all that I haven't already thought of. But, the more research I do the more I find out that this type of thing is really quite common - it just isn't readily advertised. For instance, did you know that Rudy Guiliani was married to his cousin? As were Einstein and Darwin? The list is quite extensive actually. So, please let me know what you think as advice from strangers is sometimes the most honest advice to get because they have no motives. Thank you! :o)

I have no idea if you will last or not or whether you will be happy or not. All I can say is that the fact that you are distant cousins has no bearing on the matter. Not genetically, not legally. If some busybodies within the family think it scandalous ... so what?

I advise that you break up your post into paragraphs so that the reader has an occasional break. I had to force myself to keep reading. I'm on a bouncy train and I keep losing my place. Paragraphs would be a tremendous help for finding my place after I have to took away.

Go ahead and schtup your cousin. Tell your families that you two are sharing expenses or something.

12345

one thing, never check calling or texting logs on his cell phone...

Why is that?

Quote: PopCulturePrincess

Why is that?

we are finding relationships are crumbling left and right over that. Ignorance is bliss.

12345

Quote: odiousgambit

we are finding relationships are crumbling left and right over that. Ignorance is bliss.

Got it. LOL! I admit normally I am extrememly suspicious in relationships but this time I truly feel no insecurity. Possibly, my 20 year history knowing this man is helping the matter but him constantly reminding me how he feels is pretty nice also. I have always been with badboys and this one is the baddest of all that I've seen. But, he's 38 now and I think on his way to becoming a 'reformed bad boy.' He claims I'm the first girl he hasn't cheated on and everytime someone asks him if I'm his wife, he beams. It's quite adorable. I tell him all the time how sweet and cute he is but he just laughs and says men aren't supposed to be those things and that he's 'manly and rugged.' It's so freaking funny. I will take your advise and not snoop. If he is doing me dirty I don't want to find out any sooner than I have to because this experience is by far the sweetest ride I've been on so far in this lifetime.

Quote: s2dbaker

I advise that you break up your post into paragraphs so that the reader has an occasional break. I had to force myself to keep reading. I'm on a bouncy train and I keep losing my place. Paragraphs would be a tremendous help for finding my place after I have to took away.

Go ahead and schtup your cousin. Tell your families that you two are sharing expenses or something.

Thanks for the tip... I went in and edited. :o) So to be clear, you would suggest we do the 'roommate' thing as opposed to the 'ya there's only one bedroom, duh...' thing.