How can I enjoy gambling as a hobby without the mental anguish?

Quote: DJTeddyBear

Do a Google search for a poker league in your area. A poker league, unlike a bowling league, requires no commitment, and no money (or very little). The league only asks that you patronize the establishment. I.E. For the cost of a dinner and/or a few beers, you can play tournament style poker, and get your gambling 'fix' satisfied. Additionally, because it's a league rather than a cash game, people tend to be friendlier, and more likely to give you solid advice about your game. Oh, sure, there are players that are very serious and competitive, but that's a good thing too.

I wish the leagu I found in Phienix had been more friendly. Some folks were nice but some actually went up to other people asking "why did you play that?" They seemed to forget they were in a free game where you were just expected to buy beer and food and NOT at a final table on ESPN.

Quote: teddys

Okay, so after my initial obsession with gambling over the last year or two, it's time to rein it in a little.

It's not that I have lost an inordinate amount of money -- although I am a net loser. It is simply taking up too much of my time and there are better things to do and better ways to spend my money.

I play responsibly and intelligently, but I still cannot take the up and down swings. Even $.25 video poker is driving me nuts. (See my latest blog entry). When I lose I obsess frequently about making back what I lost and not taking it in stride as part of the game. I don't chase losses but it is still grating mentally.

What would you advise? Cold turkey is not an option since I still want to play occasionally.

I feel the same as you. What you are feelings is normal. I think you are just bored with gambling. That is how I feel. I like to visit casinos for the excitment and a really hot table, but the rest has gotten really old. The last two years I have obsessed over gambling. Net loss overall and I count every dollar and sometimes give myself a hard time. But casinos are there to win. I have always looked at betting as the same money as what I would spend on a date. I bet at craps or I take a woman out. At first they got me hooked with the free food at nice restaurants, then the free cash offers to get me in, then all the free hotel nights. I have actually lost interest and am in the process of running all my comps out. One less reason to go casino hopping. I have about 3 months of free nights and I cleared $1500 in "free" cash last month. I guess as I stop going it is a matter of months as the offers run out they will stop sending them.

Quote: AZDuffman

I wish the league I found in Phienix had been more friendly. Some folks were nice but some actually went up to other people asking "why did you play that?" They seemed to forget they were in a free game where you were just expected to buy beer and food and NOT at a final table on ESPN.

While the question "why did you play that?" could be phrased in a more friendly manner, answering the question, and listening to the response is often an excellent way to learn. Some players do take it very seriously. But there's a reason for that. They are there to try to tune up their game. The "Free" / "For fun" aspect only applies to the Q&A. If they can help you to play better, then it make for a more challenging game for them, which is exactly what they are looking for.

At a casino poker table, there are going to be novice players, and players that simply play stupid hands because they once won a monster pot with that hand. But in the casino, a question like "why did you play that?" may generate an answer. But the person that asked more likely will use the answer to help him get a read the next time they are in a hand together.

There are FOUR poker leagues in my area. The one I play in most often is the one that provides a dealer at every table and therefore uses a Dealer Button, and as a result, has a more realistic game. This is also the league where it is kinda expected that you tip the dealer prior to each tournament. This is also the league with the most aggressive and skilled players. And the league where I learned the most.

The owner of this league is also one of the dealers. She used to be a poker dealer at Taj Mahal, and makes sure all the dealers know all the rules.


Duff -

Consider trying that league again.

Teddys,

It sounds to me like you need a "cooling off" period. You can't possibly expect to make back all your losses. And if you try to chase those losses, they will magnify. When you gamble, either in a casino or a stock market, you have to go in with a set of rules. It requires discipline. I've walked away from a hot table where everyone was yelling and screaming and the chips were piling up literally because I had a preset coffee break that I was not going to break. I've also come back to that same table to find out that most people stayed until things went south and bust.

I'm glad you realize that there are better things to do especially with your hard earned money than wasting it all on gambling. Hence gambling can only be fun if your risking insignificant amounts of your personal wealth. If you risk more, than gambling isn't fun, it's serious business of which you will always be a net loser over the long run.

When you take a big hit, it's natural to lament and lament for awhile. Hence its dangerous to get back on the horse right away cause your still damaged goods mentally. You need to cool off, relax, focus on other priorities, and slowly get back into the game. When you do start to get back into things, keep a record of what you do right and wrong. I could have walked away with $20 in profit, but I thought I could double it. Well thats just stupid at a $10 min table. I skipped my coffee break to go for the gold and bet it all on one hand. Well that's just stupid too. Better yet, I was up $100, and I wanted to make one last big bet. Fine, only 1. Max variance, max return. So you split your profit and make maybe a 30, 40, 50 bet. But then regardless of outcome you walk.

I feel you need a couple of small consistent wins to get back any mojo. Slowing down and taking it easy is very important. If you can't take the variance, than you shouldn't be playing. Imagine the guy who starts out with a bankroll of a $100 at a $10 min craps table. The moment he loses 2 in a row, he starts getting nervous and sweating. The moment he's down 5 in a row, he's panicking. So then he opens up his wallet, cashes in much more, and continues his losing streak. When things turn south, following rules prevent things from really getting even further out of hand.

A lot of people have different rules:
1.) Mandatory coffee breaks at preset times.
2.) Never putting more than X dollars into any one single slot machine, and always cashing out when you hit a big hand and are close to or above par. I played penny hand video poker for 50 hands at a time on $20 buy-in. Hit a three of a kind and was up $1.50. MANDATORY CASH OUT! Small win, but it's still a win. Now go take a break.
3.) Never buyin more than x dollars a certain table. If you need to get back some control, try this: walk away after you're up 2 min betting units. $5 min table, once you're up $10, WALK. See about how you feel walking away when you're up, your level of control, heart-rate, anxiety, anxiousness. (It's easier if its the last bet of the night, hence I made a $20 bet on the Field and hit it and cashed out despite disgust from the pit. Hey last bet of the night. Trying cashing out when you just barely got to the table.)
4.) Also document what you're losing and winning money on. Suppose you trade stocks and you only make money trading this one stock. Why are you experimenting buying something else? Stick with what you know. I was dying to try 3-card poker and after hitting 3 of a kind I was hooked, then I was crushed. Stick with what you know. You play craps, well play craps. You play BJ you do BJ. Experimenting can be dangerous and should be done sparingly in low denominations.
5.) Losses hurt, but if you can't put those losses behind you when you walk up to any table or machine, you shouldn't continue playing. It will fuck with your mind.

Thats my 2 cents.