Greasyjohn
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:44:56 AM permalink
You know, I didn’t notice hookers when I was young. Now, I can’t not notice them. But it’s not eyesight that improves with age, it’s how you interpret what you’re seeing.

Back in August 2011, I went to Vegas with a friend named Daryl that I’ve know since I was 14. As a matter of fact, this friend and I went to Vegas together on my first gambling trip when I was just 21. On this earlier trip we stayed in one of the motel-style rooms at the Stardust. But on this 8-11 trip we were staying comped at Casino Royale.

Casino Royale used to have natural quad vp coupons that paid $25. And there was a $40 coupon if the quad was one of three numbers, usually 6,7,or 8 or 5,6 or 7. I would play their 8/5 Bonus Poker until I got a 4OAK. If I was lucky enough to get the $40 coupon win first, so much the better, because then I could play the $25 Any-4OAK coupon. (But if I got the Any-4OAK first I would probably stop playing.) These coupons turned their 8/5 game into +EV. Casino Royale also gave you a $5 match play coupon and another coupon where blackjack pays 2:1 (max bet $25). I would play this coupon at their 6:5 game. +EV here too, about +2.25%. Get the blackjack and quit. Of course, all these promos came to an end a couple of years ago. But back in 2011 they had all these promos going strong.

There have always been a lot of working girls at Casino Royale. There was this one blond girl, her hair was long and straight with bangs in the front. Cute as sin. Looked like Janet Munro. If you were to take her out for a nice dinner it would be hard not to stare. You'd want to kiss her until you got your fill, let her magic possess you. We all have different ideas about what the perfect figure is, and for me this girl was it. She looked like she was plucked from some small Midwestern town--perky, sweet and pure. If a girl like this looks at you and holds her gaze and you’re old enough to be her father then it’s time for a reality check. She’s not attracted to you. She’s hoping for an easy customer.

So late one evening in August 2011 I decided to play 8/5 Bonus poker at the bar. I sat down next to a Latino guy with his black girlfriend. The only empty seat at the bar. She was sitting next to me–he was on the other side. I glanced over and noticed that she played pretty good basic strategy. It’s pretty easy to start a conversation at the bar. I said something to her like, “Are you winning?” I didn’t say anything to make the guy think I was hitting on his girl. Just being friendly.

So we chatted a little, and the guy gets up and leaves. I thought he'd gone to the restroom. The girl says to me, “That guy was giving me the creeps.” I was surprised. Then she says, “ He said, ‘I guess you’re busy.’ ”

This girl had a pretty complexion and nice hair in style that complimented her tall height. Nice hands, long fingers. Filled up those jeans nicely. (I was stealing a glance.) And pleasant enough. So we’re chatting and I ask her what she does for a living. And she says she likes to have fun. Well, I’m pretty sure I know where this is leading. We continued to chat. She ask me the #1 hooker question: "Are you staying here?" Usually that's followed up with, "Are you alone?" I don't remember if she asked the latter, but it was revealed through our conversation that I was indeed staying here, and was with my friend. I also mentioned that I had a comped room at the Four Queens that I wasn't even using. (Room came with some match play or such, so I took it. Gave them some action to stay in good standing.) I probably mentioned this empty room because it kept with the theme of our encounter.

We talked about gambling and Vegas. We talked about ourselves. She revealed that she worked for some company answering the phone. After about 20 minutes or so this encounter had run its course. It was nice meeting her, but I'm not interested in a woman being with me because I give her money. I told her that I was going to get going. Then I said, "It was nice to meet you." She said, "How do you know?" I said, "I know. You're very cute."

So I left for nowhere in particular. But don’t think I'm immune to sensual desire. If some beautiful, hot 20-year-old with luscious lips, flawless completion, legs you want to touch comes along, I can fall into the whirlpool of lust and bad decisions. Probably costs $2,000 to have such dreams. If she was with me my life would be only about that encounter. The past and future just time I had to endure for this fleeting joy I'm about to savor. But the fantasy is almost always better than the reality. If I could see a video of her last several encounters I'm sure it would leave me flaccid. You were with that guy?!

So as I left this working girl at the bar (sorry I can’t remember the name she gave me) I was somewhat bored. Didn't really feel like gambling. I strolled over to Harrah's and walked around. Then I watched a craps game for about 10 minutes. Then I strolled back to Casino Royale and watched a craps game there. I might have bought-in but didn't quite have the enthusiasm. I looked over and noticed that she was still at the bar. I eventually strolled over to a bank of video poker machines near the Players' Club. So as I'm sitting there playing Bonus Poker, who walks by and sits next to me?

I was glad that she did. There's always optimism when the possibilities of sensuality and a new interest meld. As we sat there I was glad to be in the grip of expectation. I was glad that after I thought our flirtation had run its course, she didn't. As we chatted the conversation turned to how we might spend some time together. She brought up just going out and having fun and having some drinks at a bar somewhere. At the time, it didn't even cross my mind that she was "working." I had already indicated that I wasn't interested in her services when I said goodbye to her earlier. So when she sought me out again like she did I assumed she was just attracted to me. I mean, come on, how many working girls pursue a guy who already indicated he wasn't interested in her services? And hookers have to have some kind of personal life outside of hooking, right?

Anyway, when she asked me if I wanted to go out to a bar somewhere I was ready to enjoy her company. The allure was palpable. We'd have some drinks, some laughs. Maybe dance. I'd hold her close and let my hands gently feel her body through the texture of her clothes, feel her back and shoulders through her blouse, feel the strap of her bra, caress the sides of her waist above and below the top of her pants. I'd let my hand move gently down the small of her back, stopping just below her waist, both of us knowing that beyond lay the fullness of her creation. Looking into her eyes and they're not saying no. I wanted to have fun, wanted to feel my heart race! And the older we get the less often the train comes to the station. Next stop Naughty Town!

"Let's go." I said. So as we were walking to my room to get my keys I let her wander a few steps ahead of me to enjoy the view. The room was out of the question for any aerobics. If we were to go anywhere it would be to my empty room at the Four Queens. But this wasn't about that, it was about desire and romance. I was thinking of the fun that might lead to intimacy, not the act itself.

When we got to the room my friend Daryl was asleep. It's about midnight. He's snoring an alcohol imbued melody. He awakes a little to notice what I brought home. She asks to use the restroom. While she's in there the thought crossed my mind that she's calling some guy to come to our room and rob us. Can't help what comes across our minds, can we? As soon as they make that illegal we're all screwed.

I’m reminded of what happened back in 2008 at the Orleans. A couple of hookers had arranged to meet two guys who had a room there. When they were all four in the room an armed accomplice of the girls shows up to rob the men. They resisted and the armed man shot one of them in the abdomen. Guy lived. After I read about that story I actually called the Orleans and suggested they should do more to clean up their property. I had stayed there on several occasions back around that time, until the offers for comped rooms dried up. The Orleans used to have guards checking for keys at the hotel tower elevators. But the place still had a lot of “activity”. When crimes are committed against johns most johns don’t press charges. Their wives or girlfriends wouldn’t share their indignation. And coming back to Vegas to testify is a lot of trouble. PIs and the girls know that.

So back to my friend, me, and the hooker in the bathroom. She comes out of the restroom, and with keys in hand we head for the parking garage. As soon as I start the car I realize how foolish this all is. I allowed what I wished would happen to get confused with what would really happen. I had my fantasy about how this would go, but it was really all about her getting paid. So as we're driving out of the garage reality sinks in even more. I felt like saying how I'd made a mistake, how this was all a bad idea. But it was just too embarrassing to blurt it out when we hadn't even made it out of the parking structure. By extending the drive I could stretch out my foolishness. I headed south on the service road that used to run from Casino Royale to Flamingo and parallels Audrie. Pretty sure it doesn't go through now with the High Roller there. At Flamingo I headed west going nowhere. Small talk ensued. We got around to the business at hand and she asked me if my lack of enthusiasm had to do with the money. "Is it the money?" she asked. And I said "Well just out of curiosity, how much is it?" And she said, "$200". She said, "Come on, don't worry about the money. Just put it on top of the dresser and we'll just be together." Somewhere about a mile west of the freeway I had turned around and was heading back to Casino Royale. She reached over with her hand to see if a brief touch could jump start me. She mentioned that I seemed ready to go, but hey, it's my body and I wasn't feeling frisky. It's easy to go from frisky to foolish but not the other way around.

When we got back to the parking garage she mentioned something along the lines of having a party right there in the car. But I ignored the entreaty. As we walked to the rear entrance to Casino Royale she ask me to give her $20. I didn't make the effort. At no time during our encounter did I even touch her. She said, "Come on, you know how this works." But the way it works for me is that she made me an offer for her charms at a certain price, and I declined the offer. There was no agreement that just spending time with her would cost me a certain amount. That may be the way it works in her world, but not in mine. If at any time during our encounter she felt she was wasting her time she could have gone on her way. I feel in no way obligated to help her make that decision.

It just felt off to give her $20 for this experience. Our encounter all boiled down to grab the twenty and go. If the whole thing seems less attractive to her because she doesn't have my $20 then maybe that's as it should be. A part of me wanted our time together, for whatever value it had, to be real; about two people brought because of a natural, normal attraction, not a meeting the main purpose of which was to extract money. By not giving her money it wasn't about the money. But don't get me wrong. If we had an agreement that cash would be exchanged I would have paid her without hesitation. And really, she pursued me. I would not have sought her out after I said goodbye at the bar. So when I balked at giving her money she said to me, "Now when you gamble you're going to lose." And I said, "Well, if I do I'll come find you."

She turned to go into the casino, and I turned to go to my room.

You know, I just can't see paying for it. I want to be with a woman that wants to be with me without getting paid. And any great sex with a working girl would come with anxiety while waiting for the results of an Aids test or some other smorgasbord of lamentations. But we often aren't thinking clearly when it comes to pleasure and desire. Getting rolled or drugged. No thanks. Tread carefully. And if you ever have a similar experience that is more sublime, sweet dreams.
Last edited by: Greasyjohn on Mar 14, 2016
ams288
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March 25th, 2015 at 12:18:17 PM permalink
Thanks for the great read!

If it were me, I think I probably would have given her the $20.
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Face
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March 25th, 2015 at 12:29:09 PM permalink
Quote: ams288

Thanks for the great read!

If it were me, I think I probably would have given her the $20.



Same. $20 a reasonable fee for the fuel of a good story.

I'm with you, Greasy. Paying for sex takes all that is good out of sex. Sex is like a good road trip; only 10%-20% of the joy lies in the destination. Everything else lies in the journey.

Pointless sex is just that - pointless. Without the hunt, the pursuit, the game, the battle of wits, the battle of emotion, the lead up, the anticipation, the foreplay, the flirting, even the hottest piece becomes little more than a "thing", and that's not good for you. It's not good for anybody. Sex, proper sex, is more than plunging to explosion. It's a mental, emotional, and physical tempest that you have to create, and then get to live out. Paying for it is like starting at the finish line pretending you've put in the miles.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, pay =p
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Scan
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March 25th, 2015 at 1:18:34 PM permalink
Sounds like she earned the $20.... Good read though.
OnceDear
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March 25th, 2015 at 1:25:10 PM permalink
Good read, thanks.
I think $50 for a hug as you parted company might have been a reasonable ending.
Psalm 25:16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Proverbs 18:2 A fool finds no satisfaction in trying to understand, for he would rather express his own opinion.
sodawater
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March 25th, 2015 at 1:30:08 PM permalink
deleted
Last edited by: sodawater on Nov 19, 2018
rxwine
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March 25th, 2015 at 1:46:19 PM permalink
Quote: sodawater

You could have at least given her $20 for wasting so much of her time.



That wouldn't bother me in and of itself, but there is the consideration she could be working for a pimp who punishes prostitutes who don't come back with enough money.
There's no secret. Just know what you're talking about before you open your mouth.
aceofspades
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March 25th, 2015 at 2:02:16 PM permalink
Great read

I am glad I am celibate.
Romes
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March 25th, 2015 at 2:16:34 PM permalink
Quote: aceofspades

Great read

I am glad I am celibate.


The woman in red would beg to differ ;)

Also, great read =P
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RS
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March 25th, 2015 at 2:31:56 PM permalink
Interesting story.

You said something about "#1 hooker question" and "#2 hooker question" are "where are you staying" and "are you alone". What are the other questions?
Gabes22
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March 25th, 2015 at 2:33:56 PM permalink
Quote: RS

Interesting story.

You said something about "#1 hooker question" and "#2 hooker question" are "where are you staying" and "are you alone". What are the other questions?


Wanna have a good time?
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RS
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March 25th, 2015 at 2:35:04 PM permalink
Quote: Gabes22

Wanna have a good time?



That one always tricks me! I'm like "Of course I wanna have a good time" thinking we're gonna go gamble or count some cards. I guess we have different ideas of "a good time". :(
MidwestAP
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March 25th, 2015 at 2:44:00 PM permalink
Quote: RS

Interesting story.

You said something about "#1 hooker question" and "#2 hooker question" are "where are you staying" and "are you alone". What are the other questions?



#3 - Wanna party?
#4 - How long are you in town? (oops, that's the time share people)
Greasyjohn
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March 25th, 2015 at 2:46:30 PM permalink
Quote: RS

Interesting story.

You said something about "#1 hooker question" and "#2 hooker question" are "where are you staying" and "are you alone". What are the other questions?



You're a dealer, are you pulling my leg? Most Vegas dealers know the drill.

But the first two are the big questions. After that it's:

Would you like to party?
Want to have some fun?
Why don't we go to your room?

And similar questions.
pacomartin
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March 25th, 2015 at 2:48:14 PM permalink
Quote: ams288

If it were me, I think I probably would have given her the $20.



She is a working girl, and she deserves her $20. Or as the Wizard tells the story in Panama, the working girls simply take chips from your pile knowing most men won't complain.

Quote: Wikipedia

A clip joint or fleshpot is an establishment, usually a strip club or night club (often claiming to offer adult entertainment and/or bottle service) in which customers are tricked into paying excessive amounts of money, for surprisingly low-grade goods or services—or sometimes, nothing—in return. Typically, clip joints suggest the possibility of sex, charge inflated prices for watered-down alcoholic drinks, and then throw out customers when they become unwilling or unable to spend more money.



Unlike a clip joint, this girl just wants a little cash for her time. She has to make rent and possibly pay a pimp. You know what she is, and you talked with her, so you should pay her.
onenickelmiracle
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March 25th, 2015 at 3:10:56 PM permalink
You don't live up to your name not being greasy and not being a john.
I am a robot.
ten2win
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March 25th, 2015 at 4:40:22 PM permalink
I would have easily given her a $20.

I really enjoyed her soft sell.

That was an awesome story.
I don't know everything but I know a lot.
RS
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March 25th, 2015 at 4:48:13 PM permalink
Quote: Greasyjohn

You're a dealer, are you pulling my leg? Most Vegas dealers know the drill.

But the first two are the big questions. After that it's:

Would you like to party?
Want to have some fun?
Why don't we go to your room?

And similar questions.



Oh yeah, I got it. I didn't think "where are you staying/are you alone?" were the top questions....like some sort of lingo everyone knows but I don't. Yeah I've had people ask if I want to party.

Lots of people in cosmopolitan walk past me and yell something in my ear like "got some e and yayo". But I suspect they aren't "ladies of the night"..... Mostly because they aren't ladies.....and they're probably trying to sell me drugs. O_O
AxelWolf
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March 25th, 2015 at 5:43:52 PM permalink
I can spot a Vegas working girl a mile a way. Hard Rock and SLS is full of them because they can blend in. Some of them look really good, It's hard to imagine they are working girls. If you're into that type of thing, be prepared to shell out $300 don't forget to lock your Rolex and wallet in the safe.

Hmmm I'm wondering if that's really why AOS forgot his money in the safe.
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
RS
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March 25th, 2015 at 6:12:49 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

Hard Rock and SLS is full of them because they can blend in. Some of them look really good, It's hard to imagine they are working girls.



I don't know if they're full of them (not denying that either).....but they do blend in. Wish I would'a known that ahead'a time! ';...;'
AxelWolf
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March 25th, 2015 at 6:18:55 PM permalink
Quote: RS

I don't know if they're full of them (not denying that either).....but they do blend in. Wish I would'a known that ahead'a time! ';...;'

Don't worry I still have a that number for you ;)
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
rxwine
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March 25th, 2015 at 6:24:58 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

Don't worry I still have a that number for you ;)



Does Vegas have a phone book anymore? (probably not) There once was an "entertainment" section an inch thick. Rent a model, or entertainer. (euphemism for hooker)

edit -- or maybe they were entertainers. Yeah a girl shows up juggles and dances a polka. I should've called.
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soxfan
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March 25th, 2015 at 6:40:57 PM permalink
Sadly, I have never been propositioned by a working girly, hey hey.
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JohnnyQ
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March 25th, 2015 at 6:45:28 PM permalink
Last trip at Mandalay Bay I was asked "Would you like some company ?" The girl looked pretty young to be in that line of work. So it's sad if she has to resort to that line of work to get by.
There's emptiness behind their eyes There's dust in all their hearts They just want to steal us all and take us all apart
petroglyph
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March 25th, 2015 at 6:58:43 PM permalink
Quote: Greasyjohn

"Let's go." I said.

You made a verbal implied contract with this person and took up her time, however long the drive was. And after receiving comps worth much more than the twenty bucks and you stiffed her?

I mean this in the friendliest of ways, but this is definitely where we differ. I have tipped way more than twenty bucks, and I am sure you too have blown much more money than that. A lovely young women who is friendly and boosts your ego, didn't seem all drugged up, didn't call a pimp to hurt you, you got a lot more value imo than the 20.

So, you are still thinking about it. Have you not thought maybe you should have taken her up on her offer?

Quote:

You know, I just can't see paying for it.

Do you really believe that you have "gotten it" for free? We all pay, it just isn't always in cash.
Quote:

I want to be with a woman that wants to be with me without getting paid.

Now that is scary. A paid for up front encounter is the most honest sex any of us will ever have.

Now this is my own personal honest belief [and we are all entitled] is, every single one of us, man or women should at least one time in there life scrape together a ridiculous amount of money, and go to a very safe, health inspected, legal brothel and screw until your stomach hurts from going at it all night long. Screw like it is your first and last time before you die. Be with someone who you crave to make love with. Leave no doubt in either of your minds that what happened doesn't happen that often, let him/her know deep down, that they have been made love to without question. When you leave, tip well, and they should be done for the day, at least. As should you.

I told my wife before we were married and that I had once spent the night in the "Chicken Ranch", in Pahrump. She smiled joyfully, not sure what she thought, but she married me anyway. I was younger and healthy, strong like a bull. Everybody should have one of those wanton nights. It is still a wonderful memory.
MrV
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March 25th, 2015 at 7:16:13 PM permalink
Quote:

I just can't see paying for it.




Just hit her over the head with a club and ravish her.

Better yet, slip her some roofies then defile her.

What happens in Vegas
"What, me worry?"
aceofspades
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March 25th, 2015 at 7:27:53 PM permalink
Quote: Romes

The woman in red would beg to differ ;)

Also, great read =P





Ahhhhh the infamous Lady in Red

Maybe she will be there in April lol
aceofspades
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March 25th, 2015 at 7:29:28 PM permalink
Quote: Greasyjohn

But the first two are the big questions. After that it's:

Would you like to party?
Want to have some fun?
Why don't we go to your room?




I think when they ask "Why don't we go to your room?", men should respond with actual reasons why they shouldn't
aceofspades
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March 25th, 2015 at 7:31:14 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

I can spot a Vegas working girl a mile a way. Hard Rock and SLS is full of them because they can blend in. Some of them look really good, It's hard to imagine they are working girls. If you're into that type of thing, be prepared to shell out $300 don't forget to lock your Rolex and wallet in the safe.

Hmmm I'm wondering if that's really why AOS forgot his money in the safe.






No no no, not at all (and no Rollie)
aceofspades
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March 25th, 2015 at 7:32:52 PM permalink
Quote: petroglyph

You made a verbal implied contract with this person and took up her time, however long the drive was. And after receiving comps worth much more than the twenty bucks and you stiffed her?





An illegal contract is not binding.
rxwine
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March 25th, 2015 at 7:42:01 PM permalink
Quote: MrV

Just hit her over the head with a club and ravish her.

Better yet, slip her some roofies then defile her.

What happens in Vegas



stays in the Vegas jail, based on your recommendations, I'd say.
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zippyboy
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March 25th, 2015 at 7:56:21 PM permalink
Quote: Greasyjohn

But on this 8-11 trip we were staying at Casino Royale in a comped room....


lol

Quote: Greasyjohn

We continued to chat. She ask me the #1 hooker question: "Are you staying here?" Usually that's followed up with, "Are you alone?"


"Are you here for the convention?"
"Are you a guest of the hotel?"

Always starts with prolonged eye-contact. And if it's a hottie looking me up and down and smiling, then I know what's up. And I'm okay with it. One time after flirting for 30 seconds in the walkway between Excal and Luxor, I had one cute blonde grab my phone and punch her number in and hit save. I still have it. Might just use it in June when I come to town.
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Avincow
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March 25th, 2015 at 8:58:21 PM permalink
Wow, I don't know why everyone is getting on his case about not paying some whore $20 bucks. Last time I checked being a whore is not a legal profession in Las Vegas. If she wanted to be paid for her 'time', she can get a real job like the rest of us.

Now would I have given her $20? Yes, I would. Not because I think she deserves it, but I would do it for insurance. They say insurance is a sucker bet, and you can call me a sucker, but I would do it for the peace of mind. You think someone who spreads her legs for $200 is an honest person? Probably not. And no telling what kind of seedy characters this person is associated with. I don't want to be woken up in the middle of night to some pimp knocking on my door or to wake up to slashed tires.

Just my 2 cents. Let the hate replies commence.
Greasyjohn
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March 25th, 2015 at 9:23:07 PM permalink
Quote: Avincow

Wow, I don't know why everyone is getting on his case about not paying some whore $20 bucks. Last time I checked being a whore is not a legal profession in Las Vegas. If she wanted to be paid for her 'time', she can get a real job like the rest of us.

Now would I have given her $20? Yes, I would. Not because I think she deserves it, but I would do it for insurance. They say insurance is a sucker bet, and you can call me a sucker, but I would do it for the peace of mind. You think someone who spreads her legs for $200 is an honest person? Probably not. And no telling what kind of seedy characters this person is associated with. I don't want to be woken up in the middle of night to some pimp knocking on my door or to wake up to slashed tires.

Just my 2 cents. Let the hate replies commence.



I heard a story on this forum about a guy that paid a hooker less than I guess she wanted. I don't recall the details. But the pimp came knocking at his door and scarred the s__t out of him. He paid the difference.

You know, even though this girl knew my room number and where my car was parked it never dawned on me until just now when I read your post that my safety or property might have been in danger. The girl was disappointed that I didn't give her what she asked for, but I never got the inkling that retaliation would occur. She didn't at all seem like the kind of girl that would resort to that over a difference of opinion. I'm sure some girls would make me feel nervous about denying their request, but I normally wouldn't be attracted to women like this so the situation wouldn't likely occur.
RogerKint
RogerKint
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March 25th, 2015 at 9:25:03 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

I can spot a Vegas working girl a mile a way. Hard Rock and SLS is full of them because they can blend in. Some of them look really good, It's hard to imagine they are working girls. If you're into that type of thing, be prepared to shell out $300 don't forget to lock your Rolex and wallet in the safe.

Hmmm I'm wondering if that's really why AOS forgot his money in the safe.



My first time at SLS I was on the elevator alone when four girls in mini skirts got in. One was holding a small male blow up doll with an erect penis. I said "That young man is quite blessed." She agreed and started complaining about how small her ex bfs penis is. USA! USA! USA!
100% risk of ruin
AxelWolf
AxelWolf
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March 25th, 2015 at 9:41:50 PM permalink
Quote: petroglyph

didn't call a pimp to hurt you

I was busy that night. http://images.esellerpro.com/2466/I/116/5/pimp.jpg
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
MrV
MrV
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:05:00 PM permalink
No worries.

Las Vegas pimps only kill each other.

"What, me worry?"
AxelWolf
AxelWolf
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:05:17 PM permalink
Quote: RogerKint

My first time at SLS I was on the elevator alone when four girls in mini skirts got in. One was holding a small male blow up doll with an erect penis. I said "That young man is quite blessed." She agreed and started complaining about how small her ex bfs penis is. USA! USA! USA!

According to a new study of the actual measuring of more than 15,000 penises around the world, things didn't measure up as previously thought at 6", where guys were just asked how big is it.

According to the accrual results the average is 5.16". No wonder women are always confused with measurements.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry you missed the measuring gig, but apparently you had to own a Miata.
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
petroglyph
petroglyph
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:13:00 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

I was busy that night. http://images.esellerpro.com/2466/I/116/5/pimp.jpg



She seemed like a pretty nice girl to me? I have been on worse dates.
petroglyph
petroglyph
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:19:15 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

According to a new study of the actual measuring of more than 15,000 penises around the world, things didn't measure up as previously thought at 6", where guys were just asked how big is it.

According to the accrual results the average is 5.16". No wonder women are always confused with measurements.



Thanks Axel, that really made my day. Even my urologist was making fun of me. I thought he was kind of being rude and this confirms it.

Did you notice if the measurement was taken while erect, or limp?
kewlj
kewlj
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:21:07 PM permalink
Quote: MrV

No worries.

Las Vegas pimps only kill each other.



Yeah, but the pimp is the one who lived. The people he killed were neither pimps, Johns or prostitutes. (A cab driver and out of town visitor)


Quote: AxelWolf

According to a new study of the actual measuring of more than 15,000 penises around the world, things didn't measure up as previously thought at 6", where guys were just asked how big is it.

According to the accrual results the average is 5.16". No wonder women are always confused with measurements.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry you missed the measuring gig, but apparently you had to own a Miata.



This study must have kept you busy. :)
MrV
MrV
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:26:09 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

According to the accrual results the average is 5.16".




Circumference?
"What, me worry?"
RogerKint
RogerKint
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:36:47 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry you missed the measuring gig, but apparently you had to own a Miata.



Ouch! (Thats NOT what she said)

If a guy is comfortable enough in his manhood to drive a Miata, he is probably packing. Lifted truck on the other hand...
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AxelWolf
AxelWolf
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:42:23 PM permalink
Quote: petroglyph

Thanks Axel, that really made my day. Even my urologist was making fun of me. I thought he was kind of being rude and this confirms it.

Did you notice if the measurement was taken while erect, or limp?

I didn't notice, but I read that's erect. non erect was about 3"
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
petroglyph
petroglyph
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:50:21 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

I didn't notice, but I read that's erect. non erect was about 3"



Somehow, I just feel better.
kewlj
kewlj
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March 25th, 2015 at 10:59:14 PM permalink
In all seriousness, I read somewhere, that the discrepancies in some of these studies has to do with measuring technique, measuring along the top as opposed to the bottom.
petroglyph
petroglyph
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March 25th, 2015 at 11:02:14 PM permalink
Quote: kewlj

In all seriousness, I read somewhere, that the discrepancies in some of these studies has to do with measuring technique, measuring along the top as opposed to the bottom.



You mean measure it like you do a dogs tail? From the anus out?
kewlj
kewlj
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March 25th, 2015 at 11:08:39 PM permalink
Quote: petroglyph

You mean measure it like you do a dogs tail? From the anus out?



I am not familiar with measuring a dog's tail. Why would you need to measure a dog's tail?
AxelWolf
AxelWolf
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March 25th, 2015 at 11:11:17 PM permalink
For those who are obsessed http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/mar/03/the-results-are-in-study-reveals-average-penis-size
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
petroglyph
petroglyph
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March 25th, 2015 at 11:17:55 PM permalink
Quote: kewlj

I am not familiar with measuring a dog's tail. Why would you need to measure a dog's tail?



For bragging rights?
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