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harikarilord
harikarilord
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November 11th, 2015 at 5:17:11 PM permalink
If, after a major winning streak, you spend the next month playing hands to yourself at home with fake chips so you can push through the “inevitable bad cards that are certainly due”………..youuuuuuuuuu might not be an AP.
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
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November 11th, 2015 at 5:34:45 PM permalink
You might not be an AP if you think Kelly Betting is wagering over how many times Megyn Kelly crosses her legs for the camera on a given night .
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
harikarilord
harikarilord
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November 11th, 2015 at 5:48:08 PM permalink
If the full extent of your training to be a card counter consists of watching the movie “21” and seeing if you can still recognize yourself in the mirror after applying a fake moustache… youuuuuuuuuu might not be an AP.
Dieter
Administrator
Dieter
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November 11th, 2015 at 5:57:15 PM permalink
Quote: GWAE

I took a 1k payday loan in 2002. It was never re paid and I closed that bank account. They still to this day call me every few months and threaten prison.



Of course. You didn't pay it back.

All the terms I've seen say you pay no interest if you pay it back within 24 hours.

A handful of the loan stores are open later than banks, and you can often get a loan for far more than the ATM transaction limit. Make the play. Hit up the bank in the morning, pay off the loan. Zero transaction fees.
May the cards fall in your favor.
Kentry
Kentry
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November 11th, 2015 at 6:13:37 PM permalink
Not to be rude, but you do seem like you played the Payday Loan place. Took their $1,000 and then closed the bank account when they came looking for their money. Plus, just pay them their $1,000. Just pay them $100 every paycheck until you pay them off.
GWAE
GWAE
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November 11th, 2015 at 6:44:13 PM permalink
Quote: Kentry

Not to be rude, but you do seem like you played the Payday Loan place. Took their $1,000 and then closed the bank account when they came looking for their money. Plus, just pay them their $1,000. Just pay them $100 every paycheck until you pay them off.



Lol yeah right. That was when I was young and irresponsible. It is way out of statue of limitations, besides those loans are illegal in PA so it would be wrong of me to pay it back. ;-) let's not get side tracked on this thread. If you would like to start a thread about it then that would be fine. Just make sure you use the term janky in it.
Expect the worst and you will never be disappointed. I AM NOT PART OF GWAE RADIO SHOW
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
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November 12th, 2015 at 3:51:49 AM permalink
You might *be* an AP if you can stiff some outfit for $1000 and laugh it off!

I might start a new thread, thinking about it. But checking to see if someone has already too.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
charliepatrick
charliepatrick
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November 12th, 2015 at 4:45:22 AM permalink
You're unlikely to be an AP if you go gambling in Midi-Pyrénées. You should know you're going Toulouse.
1BB
1BB
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November 12th, 2015 at 5:00:35 AM permalink
Quote: odiousgambit

You might *be* an AP if you can stiff some outfit for $1000 and laugh it off!

I might start a new thread, thinking about it. But checking to see if someone has already too.



As long as he tips the dealer once in a while I'll give him a break. Any new member won't realize that this is tongue in cheek so in the interest of full disclosure, I am not advocating tipping dealers. :-)

You know this guy that I observed playing blackjack the other day is not an AP. He played three hands, heads up, of $5 each at the $1 table. He was playing well over 100 hands an hour with a fairly fast dealer and had been playing for several hours. The poor guy was down "a lot" and trying desperately to recover.

Each hand requires a .25 cent ante. The ante is waived for wagers $10 and higher. He just couldn't catch a break and couldn't figure out why. I had to bite my tongue as it was none of my business and the damage was already done.
Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth. - Mahatma Ghandi
Greasyjohn
Greasyjohn
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November 12th, 2015 at 8:19:03 AM permalink
Youuuuuuuuuu might not be an AP...

if when playing Baccarat you bring out your little magical monkey to get the shoe to produce 2 out of 2 monkeys when you feel the need for the 'extra' magical powers to lock in a larger wager.
TheGrimReaper13
TheGrimReaper13
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November 12th, 2015 at 9:06:13 AM permalink
Quote: beachbumbabs

These are great! Keep 'em coming...

Is a question which has no answer still a question?

You may not be an AP if surrounding yourself with silly people who think they're witty, but aren't, likely won't make you a genius. Not even with the ultimate device in taking advantage of and cutting corners.


There's a reason that very few, if any, really and significantly beat the system. But, keep trying. You might get lucky.
So much bullshit; so little time!
Dieter
Administrator
Dieter
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November 12th, 2015 at 9:10:17 AM permalink
Quote: TheGrimReaper13




Isn't that sort of cheating at roulette? ;)
May the cards fall in your favor.
TheGrimReaper13
TheGrimReaper13
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November 12th, 2015 at 9:27:52 AM permalink
No. The casinos won't let you bet on yourself in this case.
So much bullshit; so little time!
Greasyjohn
Greasyjohn
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November 12th, 2015 at 9:52:37 AM permalink
Quote: TheGrimReaper13

Is a question which has no answer still a question?

You may not be an AP if surrounding yourself with silly people who think they're witty, but aren't, likely won't make you a genius. Not even with the ultimate device in taking advantage of and cutting corners.


There's a reason that very few, if any, really and significantly beat the system. But, keep trying. You might get lucky.



Kerkebet?
Ibeatyouraces
Ibeatyouraces
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November 12th, 2015 at 9:59:35 AM permalink
Quote: Greasyjohn

Quote: TheGrimReaper13

Is a question which has no answer still a question?

You may not be an AP if surrounding yourself with silly people who think they're witty, but aren't, likely won't make you a genius. Not even with the ultimate device in taking advantage of and cutting corners.


There's a reason that very few, if any, really and significantly beat the system. But, keep trying. You might get lucky.



Kerkebet?


Ya think??
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
Romes
Romes
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November 12th, 2015 at 11:27:21 AM permalink
Didn't really want to keep posting here, but I want to get the thread back on track...

IF you double down on 12 because "I'm only taking one card anyways!"... youuuuuuuuuu might not be an AP.
Playing it correctly means you've already won.
1BB
1BB
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November 12th, 2015 at 12:01:23 PM permalink
Quote: Romes

Didn't really want to keep posting here, but I want to get the thread back on track...

IF you double down on 12 because "I'm only taking one card anyways!"... youuuuuuuuuu might not be an AP.



You never did it with a white chip? :-)
Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth. - Mahatma Ghandi
Dalex64
Dalex64
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November 12th, 2015 at 12:39:29 PM permalink
You might not be an AP if you think your profit/loss statement proves that the math "doesn't work"
Ibeatyouraces
Ibeatyouraces
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November 12th, 2015 at 12:43:31 PM permalink
Quote: Dalex64

You might not be an AP if you think your profit/loss statement proves that the math "doesn't work"


You definitely NOT an AP if think that you're making a profit if one year you lose $150,000 but the next you win $65,000.
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
AxelWolf
AxelWolf
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November 12th, 2015 at 12:45:42 PM permalink
You might not be an AP if you play 4 coins on standard Video Poker.
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
GWAE
GWAE
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November 12th, 2015 at 1:22:24 PM permalink
Quote: odiousgambit

You might *be* an AP if you can stiff some outfit for $1000 and laugh it off!

I might start a new thread, thinking about it. But checking to see if someone has already too.



That hurt
Expect the worst and you will never be disappointed. I AM NOT PART OF GWAE RADIO SHOW
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
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November 12th, 2015 at 3:27:15 PM permalink
Quote: GWAE

That hurt



I'm sorry! Thought you'd laugh that off too

Altho ... wait a minute, I'll start a thread [later]
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
GWAE
GWAE
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November 12th, 2015 at 3:36:07 PM permalink
Quote: odiousgambit

I'm sorry! Thought you'd laugh that off too

Altho ... wait a minute, I'll start a thread [later]



Lol forgot the ;-)
Expect the worst and you will never be disappointed. I AM NOT PART OF GWAE RADIO SHOW
vegas
vegas
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November 12th, 2015 at 4:46:31 PM permalink
You might not be an AP if........high limit slots is your game of choice!
50-50-90 Rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% probability you'll get it wrong
waasnoday
waasnoday
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November 12th, 2015 at 4:55:56 PM permalink
Quote: Dieter

All the terms I've seen say you pay no interest if you pay it back within 24 hours.



Wow, I did not know that. That actually does make these rather useful in some situations. That last time I stopped in one of those places I looked at the fee structure and calculated an annual interest rate of over 500% and proceeded to run out the door.

I do rescind my entry!
Wonko33
Wonko33
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November 12th, 2015 at 5:49:51 PM permalink
..... If you have to sacrifice a chicken before you sit at the baccarat table.
So Wizard, still no basic strategy for strip poker huh?
mason2386
mason2386
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November 12th, 2015 at 7:18:10 PM permalink
..... or require a fluffy monkey at the table before you bet.
Wonko33
Wonko33
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November 12th, 2015 at 8:32:32 PM permalink
... you need a slot machine basic strategy cheatsheet
So Wizard, still no basic strategy for strip poker huh?
AxelWolf
AxelWolf
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November 12th, 2015 at 8:36:13 PM permalink
Quote: Wonko33

... you need a slot machine basic strategy cheatsheet

If you think all the employees know where the best machines are.
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
Wizardofnothing
Wizardofnothing
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November 12th, 2015 at 8:51:37 PM permalink
If you think kentry is an ap
No longer hiring, don’t ask because I won’t hire you either
Dieter
Administrator
Dieter
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November 13th, 2015 at 8:57:56 AM permalink
Quote: waasnoday

Wow, I did not know that.



If you don't read all of the contract looking for an angle... you might not be an AP. ;)
May the cards fall in your favor.
waasnoday
waasnoday
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November 13th, 2015 at 8:59:55 AM permalink
Quote: Dieter

If you don't read all of the contract looking for an angle... you might not be an AP. ;)



hehehehe affirmative!
AxelWolf
AxelWolf
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November 13th, 2015 at 10:15:16 AM permalink
Quote: waasnoday

Wow, I did not know that. That actually does make these rather useful in some situations. That last time I stopped in one of those places I looked at the fee structure and calculated an annual interest rate of over 500% and proceeded to run out the door.

I do rescind my entry!

That's ridiculous and sounds like usury I would find out the maximum allowable annual percentage rate for that state. Perhaps they find a way around it. I have never used a payday loan service but I have heard horror stories. It seems like it's a vicious cycle for some. On the flip side I heard some people were purposely scamming them.

It seems there's one on just about every corner in Vegas.

I know it seems predatory but I'm sure there's been people who have used one in a desperate situations to pay rent or something and it saved their ass.

I would never judge anyone for stiffing them.

It's probably a good business opportunity, I can't blame someone for owning one.
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
AxelWolf
AxelWolf
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November 13th, 2015 at 10:16:42 AM permalink
deleted
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
Minty
Minty
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November 13th, 2015 at 10:51:30 AM permalink
If you think you can't count a six deck shoe because there are "too many cards" youuuuu might not be an AP.
"Just because I'm not doing anything illegal, doesn't mean I won't have to defend myself someday." -Chip Reese
Keyser
Keyser
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November 13th, 2015 at 11:00:18 AM permalink
You might be an AP if you call Bob Nersesian or Bob Loeb to help win an argument with your wife.
Romes
Romes
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November 13th, 2015 at 11:03:51 AM permalink
IF you think "The Savannah" is just a desert in Africa, youuuuuuuuuuu might not be an AP.
Playing it correctly means you've already won.
TwoFeathersATL
TwoFeathersATL
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November 13th, 2015 at 12:03:12 PM permalink
Quote: Romes

IF you think "The Savannah" is just a desert in Africa, youuuuuuuuuuu might not be an AP.


Technically, the Savannah and the Desert in Africa are very different places. Africa is a really big continent. But your contest entry has been duly noted ;-) tee, hee
< OK> this is an edit, Odious replied before I snuck it in. "The Desert is an entirely different cheat, most haven't heard of it......" Edit of an edit?
Youuuuuu MIGHT be a 'rascal' if.......(nevermind ;-)...2F
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
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November 13th, 2015 at 12:07:27 PM permalink
Quote: TwoFeathersATL

Technically...



that's fine, Romes went over my head with that one anyway. Then again, I might definitely am not an AP [unless you count over-comping on rare occassions]
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
RaleighCraps
RaleighCraps
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November 13th, 2015 at 12:07:30 PM permalink
variation of previous replies...

you might not be an AP if if you feel counting an 8 deck shoe is too hard due to the 396 cards.
Always borrow money from a pessimist; They don't expect to get paid back ! Be yourself and speak your thoughts. Those who matter won't mind, and those that mind, don't matter!
RaleighCraps
RaleighCraps
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November 13th, 2015 at 12:11:07 PM permalink
And my DQ entry,

You might not be an AP if you feel an 8 deck shoe game is better than single deck, because you have 32 shots at BJ, instead of just 4.
Always borrow money from a pessimist; They don't expect to get paid back ! Be yourself and speak your thoughts. Those who matter won't mind, and those that mind, don't matter!
Ayecarumba
Ayecarumba
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November 13th, 2015 at 12:22:37 PM permalink
If you have to pull down your zipper to count to 21.... Youuuuu might not be an AP!
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - Leonardo da Vinci
Ibeatyouraces
Ibeatyouraces
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Joined: Jan 12, 2010
November 13th, 2015 at 12:24:51 PM permalink
Quote: RaleighCraps

variation of previous replies...

you might not be an AP if if you feel counting an 8 deck shoe is too hard due to the 396 cards.


Or if you think an 8 deck shoe has 396 cards :-)
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
Dicenor33
Dicenor33
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November 13th, 2015 at 12:27:01 PM permalink
Anytime you have to wait in line in order to get a chance to play craps. Adios amigos should be a part of your vocabulary to gain the statue of an AP.
TwoFeathersATL
TwoFeathersATL
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November 13th, 2015 at 12:41:07 PM permalink
Quote: Ibeatyouraces

Or if you think an 8 deck shoe has 396 cards :-)


I could be wrong, but I think that is more than 4 entries ;-)
Youuuuuu MIGHT be a 'rascal' if.......(nevermind ;-)...2F
Ibeatyouraces
Ibeatyouraces
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November 13th, 2015 at 12:44:25 PM permalink
Quote: TwoFeathersATL

I could be wrong, but I think that is more than 4 entries ;-)


I retired today. I'll unretire tomorrow.
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
RaleighCraps
RaleighCraps
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November 13th, 2015 at 12:46:41 PM permalink
Quote: Ibeatyouraces

Or if you think an 8 deck shoe has 396 cards :-)



I knew I was on the right forum for that double hitter. ;-)
Always borrow money from a pessimist; They don't expect to get paid back ! Be yourself and speak your thoughts. Those who matter won't mind, and those that mind, don't matter!
RaleighCraps
RaleighCraps
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Joined: Feb 20, 2010
November 13th, 2015 at 12:50:30 PM permalink
You might not be an AP if you act as the casino in a home BJ game, and use 4 decks.....

of Pinochle cards
Always borrow money from a pessimist; They don't expect to get paid back ! Be yourself and speak your thoughts. Those who matter won't mind, and those that mind, don't matter!
Ibeatyouraces
Ibeatyouraces
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Joined: Jan 12, 2010
November 13th, 2015 at 12:56:55 PM permalink
Quote: RaleighCraps

You might not be an AP if you act as the casino in a home BJ game, and use 4 decks.....

of Pinochle cards


I'll play in that game!!
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
Wonko33
Wonko33
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November 13th, 2015 at 4:42:36 PM permalink
Quote: Ayecarumba

If you have to pull down your zipper to count to 21.... Youuuuu might not be an AP!

wearing flip flops?
So Wizard, still no basic strategy for strip poker huh?
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